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Humorous Life Lessons

2026-07-15T18:28:12.420-05:00

Humorous Life Lessons For Children

1. No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
2. When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
3. If your sister or brother hits you, don’t hit him/her back. They always catch the second person.
4. Never ask your three-year-old brother to hold a tomato.
5. You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
6. Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7. Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8. You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9. Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10. The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandma’s lap.

Funny Lessons Learned In Life

1. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
4. You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5. It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6. Time may be a great healer, but it’s also a lousy beautician.
7. With age comes wisdom, but sometimes age comes alone.

Funny Life Lesson Quotes For Adults

1. Raising teenagers is like nailing Jello to a tree.
2. Wrinkles don’t hurt.
3. Families are like fudge – mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4. Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.
5. Laughing helps. It’s like jogging on the inside.
6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

17 Life Lessons to Teach Your Child Before 18 (and great for us all)!

1. Be kind, even when others aren't.
2. Take responsibility for your actions.
3. Failure is a part of learning.
4. Money must be earned and managed wisely.
5. Time is your most valuable asset.
6. Respect is earned, not demanded.
7. Stand up for what's right, even if alone.
8. Your mindset shapes your life.
9. Hard work beats talent without effort.
10. Listen more than you speak.
11. Your health is your true wealth.
12. Choose friends who uplift you.
13. Be honest, even when it's hard.
14. Learn to say no confidently.
15. Ask questions, stay curious.
16. Apologize when you're wrong.
17. Not everything deserves your reaction.

23 Funny Lessons Learned In Life - TheCharacterCorner - Pinterest

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A Worry-Free Day Today!

2026-07-09T02:19:00.000-05:00

There are two days in every week
about which we should not worry:

One of these days is Yesterday with all its mistakes and cares,
its faults and blunders, its aches and pains.

We cannot undo a single act we performed;
we cannot erase a single word we said.
Yesterday is gone forever.

The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow
with all its possible adversities, its burdens,
its large promise and its poor performance;
Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.

Tomorrow's sun will rise,
either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise.
Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow,
for it is yet to be born.

This leaves only one day, Today.
Any person can fight the battle of just one day.
It is when you and I add the burdens
of those two awful eternities
Yesterday and Tomorrow that we break down.

Live but one day at a time! :)

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Why Computers Crash ~ Dr. Seuss

2026-07-04T03:42:30.449-05:00

Dr. Seuss Explains...
Why Computers Crash

(Read this to yourself aloud - it's great!)

If a packet hits a pocket
On a socket on a port
And the bus is interrupted
At a very last resort

And the access of the memory
Makes your floppy disk abort
Then the socket packet pocket
Has an error to report

If your cursor finds a menu item
Followed by a dash
And the double-clicking icon
Puts your window in the trash

And your data is corrupted
Cuz the index doesn't hash
Then the situation's hopeless
And your system's gonna crash

If the label on the cable
At your house
Says the network is connected to
The button on your mouse

But your packets want to
Tunnel to another protocol
That's repeatedly rejected
By the printer down the hall

And your screen is all distorted
By the side effects of gauss
So your icons in the window
Are as wavy as a souse

Then you may as well reboot
And go out with a bang
Cuz sure as I'm a poet
The sucker's gonna hang !

When the copy of your floppy's
Getting sloppy in the disc
And the microcode instructions
Cause unnecessary risk

Then you'll have to flash the memory
And you'll want to RAM your ROM
Quickly turn off the computer
And be sure to tell your Mom!

Well, that certainly clears things
up for me. How about you?

WandasCountry

AUDIO "Why Computers Sometimes Crash" MP3
Poems for Pronunciation

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Lessons :: Motorcycle

2026-07-04T01:30:13.819-05:00

Riders agree, motorcycle experiences teach valuable life lessons, with many relating to freedom and adventure.

Lessons Learned While Riding A Motorcycle

1. Always keep an open mind.
2. Travel light.
3. Always take back roads.
4. The easiest way is not always the best (or the most fun).
5. Plan ahead.
6. But be spontaneous.
7. Take a good opportunity when you see it.
8. Don’t forget to stop and enjoy the ride.
9. Protect yourself.
10. Carpe diem.

Life lessons learned from riding a motorcycle

Twelve Important Things My Motorcycle Has Taught Me:
1. The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rear view mirror.
2. Four wheels move the body; two wheels move the soul.
3. Life may begin at 30, but it doesn't get real interesting until about 75 mph.
4. Midnight bugs taste just as bad as noon time bugs.
5. Sometimes it takes a whole tank full of gas before you can think straight.
6. A bike on the road is worth two in the shed.
7. Young riders pick a destination and go; old riders pick a direction and go.
8. When you're riding lead, don't spit.
9. Catching a yellow jacket in your shirt at 75 mph can double your vocabulary.
10. If you can't get it going with bungee cords and duct tape, it's serious.
11. Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window.
12. I've never seen a Harley parked in front of a psychiatrist's office.
Always remember that riding a motorcycle on a bad day is still better than riding in a car on a good day!!!!

Summary of lessons from “A Twist of the Wrist”

Don't badmouth yourself. Reflect on what you can improve, not what you did wrong.
Ride out mistakes, to learn the full lesson.
Look for the root of mistakes in the inputs, not the outcome.
Follow your own path.
The faster you're going, the more aggressively you have to turn.
The best racers are those fastest at learning to read and interpret critical information.
Don't watch others; watch the track.
First do it right, then add speed.
You gain more in the race by going faster in long sweeps, not tight turns.
The best riding advice comes from your best friend: You
Be willing to fall down… or don't ride

Biker Quote for Today

You start with a full bag of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

What Learning To Ride A Motorcycle Taught Me About Life
~ Keep Your Head Up ~
~ Look To The Goal, Not The Obstacle ~
~ Practice Patience ~

15 Most Memorable Sons of Anarchy Quotes - Viking Bags

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The Last Leaves On The Tree

2026-07-01T00:39:13.047-05:00

Recently I started to find my roots and got to thinking all the things my parents taught us.
On my father's side there were 10 siblings and on my mother's side there were 14 siblings, and I also have 12 siblings myself so Family has always been important for me...

While researching our family roots on Ancestry and FamilySearch.org, This song showed up on my YouTube playlist.... Thanks to ScooterPuss ... Love it !!!!

The Last Leaves On The Tree

[Not to be confused with the Tom Waits or Willie Nelson Songs]

We're starting like a river, wild and free,

covering out our path through history.

Every dawn of promise, every night of prayer,

holding on to moments. I'm aware of the wear and tear.

Seasons turn, the leaves fall down.
Whispers of the past, a silent sound.

We watch them go one by one,

feeling the way to what's been done.

Now we're the last leaves on the tree.

Fading in the cold just hanging free.

Saying goodbye in a quiet song.

Know that it's right, but it feels so wrong.

Time's a river that never stays

sweeping us along it way.

We were young, now we're old.
There's some stories that need to be told.

The circle turns and life moves on
to we're the last, till all is gone.

We're the last leaves on the tree.

Holding on to meories.

We danced in the sunlight. Drank from the well.

Build a house of dreams. A story to tell.

The shadows grew longer, the seasons changed,

and every loved one, quietly, they've gone away.

[instrumental]

Time to sleep in the night's embrace.

Takin' parts of our soul, leaving no trace.

We say our goodbyes in the saddest way.

Knowing it's part of the break of day.

Now we're the last leaves on the tree.
Fading in the cold, just hangin' free.
Saying goodbye in a quiet song.
Know it is right, but it feels so wrong.

Time's a river that never stays, sweepin' us along its way.

We were young, now we're old, passing stories that need to be told.

The circles turn and life moves on.

Til we're the last till all is gone.
We're the last leaves on the tree

holding on to memories.

And I wonder if they're looking down from a place beyond this town,
Whispering softly through the breeze, reminding me

life's just a leaf on the trees.

So I'll stand here in the winds low cry, watch the seasons, say goodbye.
One by one they've gone ahead, leaving me the last

where they once lived.

We're the last leaves on the tree.
Just a whisper of what used to be.

YouTube - from ScooterPuss

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Why Worry? There's only 2 things in life you have to worry about ...

2026-06-30T13:30:00.000-05:00

Why Worry?

There are only two things in life to worry about:

Whether you are well
or whether you are sick.

If you are well ...

then there is nothing to worry about.

But if you are sick ...

there are only two things to worry about:

Whether you are going to get well,

or whether you are going to die.

If you get well ...

then there is nothing to worry about.

But if you die,

there are only two things to worry about:

Whether you are going to go to heaven ... or whether you are going to go to hell.

If you go to heaven ... ,

then you have nothing to worry about.

But if you go to hell ... ,

you'll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends,

that you won't have time to worry!

So, Why Worry?

@CraigandRyan ... There's only 2 things in life you have to worry about ... YouTube

WebInspirations

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Ten Ways to Stay Young

2026-06-26T13:12:00.000-05:00

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop," the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things. When the children are young, that is all that you can afford. When they are in college, that is all that you can afford. When you are on retirement, that is all that you can afford!

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. Laugh so much that you can be tracked in the store by your distinctive laughter.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be alive while you are alive, don't put out a mailbox on the highway of death and just wait in residence for your mail

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it is family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health. If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Go to the mall, the next county, a foreign country, but don't go to guilt country.

10. Tell the people you love, that you love them, at every opportunity. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Ten Healthy Habits

These 10 healthy habits for vitality, often depicted in wellness illustrations and clipart, include:

Stay Hydrated: Drink at least 8 glasses of water a day to keep your skin plump and energized.
Wear Sunscreen: Protect your face and neck from UV rays to prevent wrinkles and dark spots.
Eat a Plant-Rich Diet: Fill your plate with fruits, vegetables, and lean proteins for antioxidants and nutrients.
Exercise Regularly: Keep your body flexible and strong with activities like walking, yoga, or swimming.
Prioritize Sleep: Aim for 7 - 9 hours of restful sleep to allow your body to repair and recharge.
Limit Sugar & Processed Foods: Reduce intake of refined sugars, which can accelerate skin aging.
>Maintain Social Connections: Spend time with friends and family to lower stress and boost mental health.
Manage Stress: Practice meditation, deep breathing, or your favorite hobbies to lower cortisol levels.
Challenge Your Mind: Read, do crossword puzzles, or learn new skills to keep your brain sharp.
Smile Often: A happy, smiling face is universally perceived as more youthful and vibrant.

webspirations

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What Is a Gramma? (+ FamilyCircus)

2026-06-25T16:31:01.221-05:00

I received this description in yet another email forward and thought it was amusingly cute and yet adorable! So i decided to add it to these Greetings also.

A Grandmother is a lady
who has no children of her own.
She likes other people's little girls and boys.

A Grandfather is a man Grandma. He goes for walks with boys and they talk about fishing and stuff like that.

Grandmothers don't have to do anything except to be there.
They are so old they shouldn't play hard or run. It is enough if they drive us to the market where the pretend horse is, and have lots of dimes ready. Or if they take us for walks, they should slow down past thingslike pretty leaves and caterpillars. They should never say "hurry up."

Usually, Grandmothers are fat,
but not too fat to tie your shoes.
They wear glasses and funny underwear.
They can take their teeth and gums off.

Grandmothers don't have to be smart,
only answer questions like "Why isn't God married?"
and "Why do dogs chase cats?"

Grandmothers don't talk baby talk like mothers do,
because it is hard to understand.
When they read to us, they don't skip or mind if it is the same story over again.

Everyone should try to have a Grandmother,
especially if they don't have a TV, because they are the only grown ups who have time.

Family Circus: Grandma Was Here! Pinterest

"The Family Circus" By Bil & Jeff Keane

AI Overview -
There are many informal words for grandmother,
ranging from traditional favorites to trendy or culturally specific nicknames.
Check out these common categories to find the perfect fit:
Classic: Grandma, Gram, Granny, Gran, or Nana.
Modern & Sassy: Gigi, Mimi, Grammy, or Glam-ma.
Southern US: Mamaw, Meemaw, or Nanny.
Cultural: Abuela (Spanish), Nonna (Italian), Oma (German), or Yaya (Greek).

Sources: ArcaMax

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Are you an Optimist or Pessimist? - Cat on Stairs Optical Illusion

2026-06-25T10:35:20.493-05:00

An optical illusion of a cat
claims to tell the user if they're an optimist or pessimist.

If you see the cat walking upstairs at first, it is thought that you could have an optimistic view on life.

"You see potential and you see growth wherever you look,”

"Your mind has been trained to look at ways of rising higher in life, so given a situation where you have the choice of rising higher than others or falling to their levels, you would inevitably be the better person.

If the cat seems to be walking down the stairs, it reportedly could indicate that you are more of a pessimist and sceptic.

"It may have been based on your experiences in life or just because of the sort of people you may have met that tilted your view of life towards the negative side,” The Minds Journal article says.

"But this means that you don’t trust easily now, you calculate before you commit and you are wary of people who seem too sweet.

"It may just be your way of tackling the world but you are much sharper and shrewd in your dealings, making it almost impossible to trick or deceive you."

AI Overview: This viral photo is a famous optical illusion known as the "Cat on Stairs" debate, which went viral in 2015.
Arguments for the cat going down focus on the structure of the stairs, particularly the architectural lips (nosing) and shadows visible on the risers.

Arguments for the cat going up often point to the cat's anatomy, suggesting the tail is raised for balance while ascending.

The image has been used in psychological tests claiming to reveal personality traits based on whether the viewer interprets the motion as climbing or descending.

"Cat on Stairs Optical Illusion" Lithophane by mosselini1 | heart.co.uk

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Your Spirit Totem

2026-06-23T14:19:18.395-05:00

Your totem animal is the animal and spiritual symbol of your personality.

" The Native American Zodiac "

Falcon
March 21 - April 19
Plant Totem: Dandelion.
Birthstone: Opal
The Falcon is a symbol of wisdom and inspiration. People that have the Falcon as their totem share this passion for truth and knowledge. People born during this time are natural-born leaders who should be sought after for their judgment and wisdom.

Beaver
April 20 - May 20
Birthstone: Jasper
A master strategist and a force to be reckoned with for completing any goal, people with the beaver birth totem take charge and can easily adapt to new environments. People associated with the Beaver are known to have razor sharp wit.

Deer/Stag
May 21 - June 20
Birthstone: Agate
Gentle-natured peacemakers, the Deer birth totem signifies people that are passionate and empathetic. People born in this timeframe find it easy to connect with new people and are usually the life of the party.

Woodpecker
June 21 - July 21
Birthstone: Rose Quartz
Known for their sense of community and nurturing instinct, people with the Woodpecker birth totem are empathetic and good at listening to others.

Salmon
July22 - August 21
Birthstone: Carnelian
Some of the most creative and focused people have the Salmon as their birth totem. This sign embodies generosity, brilliance, and gifted intuition.

Bear
August 22 - Sept 21
Birthstone: Amethyst
The Bear birth totem is often associated with level-headed thinking and a capacity to see the bigger picture. People with this sign are generous and have big hearts.

Crow/Raven
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Birthstone: Azurite
Gifted with deep clairvoyance and foresight, the Raven is a symbol of intelligence and charm. People that were born in the time of the Raven share similar attributes.

Snake
Oct 23 - Nov 22
Birthstone: Copper
The Snake is connected to the spiritual world more deeply than any other animal totem. People born in this timeframe possess great supernatural power and are often associated with enhanced healing and leadership skills.

Owl
Nov 23 - Dec 21
Birthstone: Obsidian
A messenger to the Great Spirit and a seeker of truth and wisdom, the Owl is an adventurous spirit with a light-hearted nature. People born in the time of the Owl are often artistic, reckless, and versatilely gifted.

Goose
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Birthstone: Quartz
People that have the Goose as their birth totem seek spiritual enlightenment and tend to have a stoic nature. The Goose is a persevering spirit that’s ambitious and driven.

Otter
Jan 20 - Feb 18
Birthstone: Turquoise
Creative and unconventional, the Otter animal totem is set apart by its unique method of problem-solving. People born during this time of the year are seen as independent and seek to better the world around them through their unique methods.

Wolf
Feb 19 - Mar 20
Birthstone: Jade
People that have the Wolf birth totem are seen as passionate and deeply emotional. The Wolf is unique because it seeks compassion and understanding but also prefers independence

More Sources: Zodiac Birthstones by Star Sign - Talisman Collection - NativeAmericanJewelry

Screenshot your Spirit Animal

Instagram video created by : @the_angel_communicator

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Angel Communicator (@the_angel_communicator)

Spirit Animals for COMPASSION • The DOVE & The DEER - SpiritHoods

Spirit Animals for WISDOM • The OWL & The TURTLE - SpiritHoods

Spirit Animals for JOY • The OTTER & The HUMMINGBIRD - SpiritHoods

Spirit Animals for BALANCE • The PANDA & The FLAMINGO - SpiritHoods

Spirit Animals for CONNECTION • The WOLF & The PENGUIN - SpiritHoods

Google Search for more SpiritHoods Quiz Results / / Animal Totems and their Meanings

Note: If the spirit animal no longer appears, the lessons have been passed on and you will notice new spirit animals taking their place. It is likely that spirit animals will also appear in physical form, these can teach us just as many lessons and pass on as much wisdom as those that appear mentally can.

Have you ever asked yourself:
‘What’s my spirit animal?’
Take UniGuide’s spirit animal quiz
and find out. Enjoy!

Image Source: TheAngelCommunicator@Instagram * Threads * Pinterest

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Who's Packing Your Parachute?

2026-06-23T10:32:00.000-05:00

Sometimes in the daily challenges that life gives us, we miss what is really important. We may fail to say hello, please, or thank you, congratulate someone on something wonderful that has happened to them, give a compliment, or just do something nice for no reason.

Image Credit: Copyright: ©iStock, Credit: Colematt

Charles Plumb was a U.S. Navy jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent 6 years in a communist Vietnamese prison.
He survived the ordeal and now lectures on lessons learned from that experience.

One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man at another table came up and said, "You're Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. You were shot down!"

"How in the world did you know that?" asked Plumb.

"I packed your parachute," the man replied.

Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man pumped his hand and said, "I guess it worked!"

Plumb assured him, "It sure did. If your chute hadn't worked, I wouldn't be here today."

Plumb couldn't sleep that night, thinking about that man.

Plumb says, "I kept wondering what he might have looked like in a Navy uniform: a white hat, a bib in the back, and bell-bottom trousers.

I wonder how many times might have seen him and not even said 'Good morning, how are you?' or anything because, you see, I was fighter pilot and he was just a sailor." Plumb thought of the many hours the sailor had spent on a long wooden table in the bowels of the ship, carefully weaving the shrouds and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his hands each time the fate of someone he didn't know.

Now, Plumb asks his audience, "Who's packing your parachute?"

Everyone has someone who provides what they need to make it through the day.

Plumb also points out that he needed many kinds of parachutes when his plane was shot down over enemy territory-he needed his physical parachute, his mental parachute, his emotional parachute, and his spiritual parachute. He called on all these supports before reaching safety.

Who's Packing Your Parachute?
Who's Packing Your Parachute?
Copyright 2001, Joel Garfinkle, all rights reserved.

WebInspirations

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Start With Yourself

2026-06-22T13:20:00.000-05:00

In the Crypts of the Westminster Abbey, on the tomb of an Anglican Bishop, the following thought-provoking words were engraved:

The profound, well-known text engraved on that bishop's tomb is a famous inspirational reflection on personal transformation. The complete quote reads: The well-known, often-cited quote highlights a progression from attempting to change the world, country, and family, to finally realizing the value of personal transformation: "If I had only changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family." Often falsely associated with an 11th-century bishop in Westminster Abbey, this widely circulated passage is actually of unknown origin, frequently used in motivational contexts to emphasize self-reflection.

WebInspirations - Insp[irationPeak

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Grandmother on the Stand

2026-06-22T10:54:01.599-05:00

A small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial -- a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across he room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt."

Source: Unknown

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What Are Fathers Made Of?

2026-06-21T14:13:00.000-05:00

A father is a person that is forced to endure childbirth without an anesthetic

A father is a person that growls when he feels good and laughs out loud when scared half to death.

A father never feels worthy of the worship in a child's eyes. He's never quite the hero his daughter thinks and never quite the man his son believes him to be and this worries him.

So he works too hard to try and smooth the rough places in the road for those of his own who will follow him

A father is a person who gets angry when the first school grades aren't as good as he thinks they should be. He scolds his son though he knows it's the teacher's fault

Fathers are person that give daughters away to other men who aren't nearly good enough so they can have grandchildren who are smarter than anybody's

Fathers make bets with insurance companies about who'll live the longest. One day they lose and the bet's paid off to the part of them they leave behind

I don't know where a father goes when he dies. But I've an idea~~that after a good rest~~he won't just sit on a cloud and wait for the girl he loved and the children she bore. He'll be busy there too repairing the stairs
oiling the gates,
improving the streets,
smoothing the way....

(Paul Harvey)

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How the Zodiac Signs Age :)

2026-06-16T07:49:35.280-05:00

(This artwork is part of the "Zodiac Signs in Old Age" series by Russian artist Olga Gromova.)
Due to their personality traits, strengths, and weaknesses, each zodiac sign experiences age differently. And for some, it doesn't manifest at all.

♈ Aries (Ram): March 21–April 19

Aries prefer not to notice their own age. They live in the moment and don't think about what tomorrow holds. Their cheerful spirit sustains them with the immense energy of youth well into old age. Aries might not be wearing a leather jacket at 60, but they'll still be passionate about motorcycles. And they'll do so with the same zeal and frenzied energy as before.

♉ Taurus (Bull): April 20–May 20

Taurus loves to eat well, sometimes even too much—for this reason, they often gain a fair amount of excess weight as they age. As they age, stubborn Taurus becomes even less flexible, both psychologically and physically. Nevertheless, they have good stamina, and even despite illness, they are likely to live a very long time.

♊ Gemini (Twins): May 21–June 21

Geminis set goals in their youth and gradually move forward, showing no signs of slowing down as the years go by. Don't expect a Gemini to come home early from work. Even in old age , you won't see them lounging in front of the fireplace. Their career growth will continue until retirement and, if possible, long after.

♋ Cancer (Crab): June 22–July 22

Cancers come in two flavors: those who never grow up, and those who love to care for others in their old age, like Mother Teresa. Cancers, like Leos, desperately want everyone to respect their "noble gray hair." Cancers can make excellent "classic" grandparents, something most grandchildren aspire to be.

♌ Leo (Lion): July 23–August 22

Leos are naturally indulgent and sedate, and this will become increasingly evident as they age. By old age, they are already quite calm, seasoned, and dignified individuals. They will increasingly desire universal respect, authority, and sometimes even worship, as well as serve as a primary role model—for this reason, they will strive to achieve their main life goals and settle down as early as possible.

♍ Virgo (Virgin): August 23–September 22

Many Virgos begin to perceive the world around them increasingly negatively as they age, especially if they allow their excessive critical tendencies to lose control. They love to maintain excellent fitness and good health, and are constantly striving to improve their mental performance. Therefore, they typically enter old age as smart, well-groomed gentlemen and ladies, albeit somewhat stern, yet very intelligent.

♎ Libra (Balance): September 23–October 23

Libras are always concerned about their appearance, so they'll go to any lengths to prevent extra pounds and wrinkles from appearing on their faces for as long as possible. They're usually successful. Even at eighty, Libras will convince others they're not even forty yet.

♏ Scorpio (Scorpion): October 24–November 21

Scorpios become dignified and imposing in old age. They like to think of themselves as philosophers who have accumulated a wealth of wisdom over the years, and indeed, this is true. Unfortunately, however, older Scorpios often become overly fixated on personal beliefs and goals, to the point of obsession and stubbornness.

♐ Sagittarius (Archer): November 22–December 21

Like Aries, Sagittarians avoid thinking about old age at all costs. Sometimes it becomes an obsession, and they pester others with questions about their estimated age, hoping to garner a few compliments. However, these compliments are usually always justified, as Sagittarians, despite their reluctance to take care of themselves, manage to maintain their sex appeal and attractiveness well into old age.

♑ Capricorns (Goat): December 22–January 19

Capricorn is a sign that is largely associated with time, as it is ruled by Saturn, the planet responsible for time and its passage. But what's interesting is that for Capricorns, time seems to flow in reverse. Capricorns are born as "little old men," serious beyond their years, wise and responsible, but as they mature, their character becomes increasingly playful and childish, and by old age, Capricorns behave like absolute children.

♒ Aquarius (Water Bearer): January 20–February 18

Aquarians are strongly influenced by Saturn , so in childhood, like Capricorns, they are very serious. As they get older, Aquarians become increasingly eccentric, no longer caring what others think of them, and at 80, they can behave exactly as they please.

♓ Pisces (Fish): February 19–March 20

Pisces are terrified of old age. They fear so much time left to live, so much left to do, so much left unfulfilled! This is precisely why Pisces often take the time to review their life, calculate their savings, and compare balances. The less Pisces worry about this, the longer and happier they will live, because nothing shortens and depresses life like constant worry.

It matches, doesn't it? Show this to everyone, let them read and analyze the behavior of their grandparents, and let them know for themselves what awaits them in the future!

Illustrations: Olga Gromova / Flickr / LiveJournal

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Choices ~ Inspiring Poetry

2026-06-13T09:37:00.000-05:00

People have lots of choices in life they can make,
And some decisions turn out to be a huge mistake.
There are others though which turn out really good,
With everything working out just the way it should.

Certain people give the impression they don’t care,
Doing dangerous things which are based on a dare.
But when it gets down to the choice they have made,
They don’t realize there is always a price to be paid.

For each choice you make there is a consequence,
Everyone unable to now prevent the turn of events.
Once you decide and have put the choice in motion,
You must remember it was always your own notion.

Don’t make excuses saying it was your mom or dad,
Or say you wouldn’t have done it, but you were mad.
Did you really take enough time to think this through?
Because the choices you make will remain with you.

My friend don't take the time looking over my way,
You didn’t bother asking me first what I had to say.
Take a look in the mirror, you see the person there?
Now this one person was always completely aware.

You can keep trying daily to give the blame away,
The intent of your original choice with you will stay.
Before you decide try thinking it carefully through,
Hopefully, you will choose the correct thing to do.

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Ten of the Funniest One-Liners Ever Written

2026-06-12T10:01:03.313-05:00

1. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
2. I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.
3. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror, like the passengers in his car.
4. I childproofed my house, but somehow they still get in.
5. I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
6. I started a procrastinators’ support group… we haven’t met yet.
7. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there. He said he couldn’t complain.
8. I told my phone I needed a break. Now it keeps suggesting airplane mode.
9. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… so she hugged me.
10. My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I had to take his bike away.

Five Bonus One-Liners

11. I didn’t believe my dad was a construction site thief until I got home. All the signs were there.
12. I still remember the last words my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket: ‘Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?’
13. My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
14. My neighbor knocked on my door at 3 AM. Luckily, I was still up playing my drums.
15. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot dow

Share this information with others. Get this article as a tract!
Learn more from the Good Fight Tract Company

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Lessons learned from E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial

2026-06-11T23:06:00.000-05:00

On this day in 1982, “E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial” landed in theaters. 🎞️ A story of friendship, wonder, and finding your way home — and somehow, it still makes us cry. 🌈 Happy anniversary to one of Steven Spielberg’s most unforgettable classics.

Journey back to the magic and adventure of E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, the beloved masterpiece from Academy Award®-winning director Steven Spielberg. Henry Thomas, Drew Barrymore, and Robert MacNaughton star in the unforgettable story of a lost alien and the ten-year-old boy who helps him find his way home. This astounding story is sure to thrill viewers of all ages again with its timeless message of trust, courage, and the overwhelming power of friendship.

Everything I Need to Know I Learned from E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial

Authors: NBC Universal and David Gibson / Illustrations by Amanda Pruitt / Page Length: 112 / Publisher: Clarkson Potter / Publication Year: 2022 / Hardcover Preview Kindle Preview

Illustrator: Amanda Pruitt Neipris and her E.T.: Loss, Learning, Love illustrations

Synopsis: This official book reveals essential life lessons and candid wisdom from E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial for its 40th anniversary. This heartwarming little guide captures the joy and delight of E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial through bite-sized wisdom, vital lessons, and iconic quotes from the beloved film. With charming illustrations throughout, this book encourages readers to embrace the power of friendship, love others for who they are, overcome their fears, be sure to "phone home," and most important, to "be good." Releasing for the film's fortieth anniversary, this book will offer out-of-this-world inspiration that both adults and children will treasure for years to come.

E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)

Rated PG (for language and mild thematic elements)
Released: June 11, 1982
Runtime: 115 minutes
Director: Steven Spielberg
Starring: Henry Thomas, Robert MacNaughton, Drew Barrymore, Dee Wallace, Peter Coyote

E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (Pop Classics) - Video Preview

E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (Funko Pop!)
by Arie Kaplan (Author), Chris Fennell (Illustrator) Format: Kindle Edition Preview

Just in time for the 40th Anniversary of the beloved movie, you can take this adorable Funko Pop! Little Golden Book retelling of E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial home with you!

Sources: I Can't Unsee That Movie: film news and reviews by Jeff Huston

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We're Outta' Here

2026-06-11T09:31:43.957-05:00

No one believes seniors . . . Everyone thinks they are senile. An Elderly couple were celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.

Holding hands they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved "I love you, Sally."

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took it home.

There, she counted the money-- fifty-thousand dollars.

Andy said, "We've got to give it back."

Sally said, "Finders keepers." She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.

The next day, two FBI men were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knock on the door. "Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?"

Sally said, "No."

Andy said, "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic."

Sally said, "Don't believe him, he's getting senile."

The agents turn to Andy and began to question him.

One says: "Tell us the story from the beginning."

Andy said, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday . . . "

The first FBI guy turns to his partner and says,

~~~*~~~

"We're outta here."

DedesWlkWithGod

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So Many Men, So Little Aspirin - IcqGreetings4U

2026-06-10T03:29:17.366-05:00

The trouble with men is

~ Their MEN!

Women are born with something men will never posess

~ a CLUE

Men dont try to drive women crazy

~ It Comes Naturally

How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only one, but it takes a woman to get him to do it!

What do a MAN and a CAT have in common?

Unfortunately, NOT ONE THING!

If they can send a man to the moon,

why can't they send them ALL?

Thank goodness all Eve

got from Adam was a rib.

They say it's a man's world...

So THAT'S what's wrong with it!

MEN! They sweep you off your feet

then try to hand you the broom!

"Why do men think they don't need directions

when they can't even find their clean socks?"

The Evolution of Man:
1. Tadpole
2. Frog
3. Prince Charming
4. Royal Pain

... Click on image to enlarge ...

Lessons: Sheep

2026-06-08T17:08:13.932-05:00

All I Need To Know About Life
I Learned From Sheep

Look before you leap

Don't worry, they'll come home - wagging their tails behind them

Never turn your baa-ack on a friend

When chewing your cud, remember: there's no fat, no calories, no cholesterol and no taste

Sheep Happens!

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence

Don't let anyone pull the wool over your eyes

Remember to say "Fleece and Thank Ewe"

If you go in like a lion, come out like a lamb

Beware of the wolf in sheep's clothing

Believe in shear luck

Don't get your sheep in a bundle!

Someday your sheep will come in

If you can't sleep, try counting sheep

Life Lessons Learned from a Cow

2026-06-08T16:22:57.095-05:00

Don't be bossy. Never act cow-ardly.

Don't be just one of the herd.

If you're feeling low, moo yourself a little song.

Successful people are "moo-vers and shakers".

If you need to get somewhere, hoof it.

Some days can be udder frustration.

Chew your food 50 times before swallowing.

Party 'til the cows come home.

If it's good, milk it for all it's worth.

He who lives with the herd learns to watch his step.

Don't stoop to a barnyard mentality.

Following you heart will always steer you in the right direction.

The cream always rises to the top.

Don't let others corral you

It is better to have milked and churned,
than to never have milked at all.

Always be in the mooood for more!

Here a moo, there a moo, everywhere a moo-moo.

Live for-heifer young.

You herd them before... now share them.

[Archived]

The Logger's New Math

2026-06-07T05:40:00.000-05:00

THE LOGGERS NEW MATH
~ CHANGING TIMES ~

This one kinda hits home as I grew up on a sawmill

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truck load of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1960:A logger sells a truck load of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1970: A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a set "M" of money. The cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each element is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set "M." The set "C," the cost of production, contains 20 fewer points than set "M." Represent the set "C" as a subset of set "M" and answer the following question: What is the cardinality of the set "P" for profits?

Teaching Math in 1980: A logger sells a truck load of lumber for $100. Her cost of production is $80 and her profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math in 1990: By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees? There are no wrong answers.

Teaching Math in 1996: By laying off 40% of its loggers, a company improves its stock price from $80 to $100. How much capital gain per share does the CEO make by exercising his stock options at $80? Assume capital gains are no longer taxed, because this encourages investment.

Teaching Math in 1997: A company outsources all of its loggers. The firm saves on benefits, and when demand for its product is down, the logging work force can easily be cut back. The average logger employed by the company earned $50,000, had three weeks vacation, a nice retirement plan and medical insurance. The contracted logger charges $50 an hour. Was outsourcing a good move?

Teaching Math in 1998: A laid-off logger with four kids at home and a ridiculous alimony from his first failed marriage comes into the logging company corporate offices and goes postal, mowing down 16 executives and and a couple of secretaries, and gets lucky when he nails a politician on the premises collecting his kickback. Was outsourcing the loggers a good move for the company?

Teaching Math in 1999: A laid-off logger serving time in Federal Prison for blowing away several people is being trained as a COBOL programmer in order to work on Y2K projects. What is the probability that the automatic cell doors will open on their own as of 00:00:01, 01/01/00?

Archived

Lessons Learned from a Tree

2026-06-06T05:41:23.933-05:00

All I Need To Know About Life
I Learned From Trees

It's important to have roots.

In today's complex world, it pays to branch out.

Don't pine away over old flames.

If you really believe in something, don't be afraid to go out on a limb.

Be flexible so you don't break when a harsh wind blows.

Sometimes you have to shed your old bark in order to grow.

If you want to maintain accurate records, keep a log.

To be politically correct, don't wear firs.

Grow where you're planted.

It's perfectly okay to be a late bloomer.

Avoid people who would like to cut you down.

Get all spruced up when you have a hot date.

If the party gets boring, just leaf.

You can't hide your true colors as you approach the autumn of your life.

It's more important to be honest than poplar.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Think of the trees and how simply they let go, let fall the riches of a season, how without grief (it seems) they can let go and go deep into their roots for renewal and sleep.

I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree. - @Lindy's Thoughts

Whether we know it or not, we are like the tree. Only our pride hangs on to a false sense of self, wanting to keep everything, refusing to follow advice or orders. What we do doesn't matter; how we do it is what counts.

Archived

Grandma's Cures

2026-06-06T03:13:36.055-05:00

Did you know that drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost immediately?

Did you know that Colgate toothpaste makes an excellent salve for burns.

Before you head to the drugstore for a high-priced inhaler

filled with mysterious chemicals, try chewing on a couple of curiously strong Altoids peppermints. They'll clear up your stuffed nose.

Achy muscles from a bout of the flu? Mix 1 Tablespoon of

horseradish in 1 cup of olive oil. Let the mixture sit for 30 minutes, then apply it as a massage oil, for instant relief for aching muscles.

Sore throat? Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and take 1 tablespoon six times a day. The vinegar kills the bacteria.

Cure urinary tract infections with Alka-Seltzer. Just dissolve two tablets in a glass of water and drink it at the onset of the symptoms. Alka-Seltzer begins eliminating urinary tract infections almost instantly!

Honey remedy for skin blemishes... Cover the blemish with a dab of honey and place a Band-Aid over it. Honey kills the bacteria, keeps the skin sterile, and speeds healing. Works overnight.

Listerine therapy for toenail fungus. Get rid of unsightly

toenail fungus by soaking your toes in Listerine mouthwash. The powerful antiseptic leaves your toenails looking healthy again!

Easy eyeglass protection... To prevent the screws in eyeglasses from loosening, apply a small drop of Maybelline Crystal Clear nail polish to the threads of the screws before tightening them.

Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer... If menacing bees, wasps, hornets, or yellow jackets get in your home and you can't find the insecticide, try a spray of Formula 409. Insects drop to the ground instantly. (Oven cleaner also works on wasp nests)

Smart splinter remover...just pour a drop of Elmer's Glue-All

over the splinter, let dry, and peel the dried glue off the skin. The splinter sticks to the dried glue.

Hunt's tomato paste boil cure...cover the boil with Hunt's

tomato paste as a compress. The acids from the tomatoes soothe the pain and bring the boil to a head.

To disinfect a broken blister, dab on a few drops of Listerine... a powerful antiseptic.

Vinegar to heal bruises... Soak a cotton ball in white vinegar

and apply it to the bruise for 1 hour. The vinegar reduces the

blueness and speeds up the healing process.

Kill fleas instantly! Dawn dish washing liquid does the trick. Add a few drops to your dog's bath and shampoo the animal thoroughly. Rinse well to avoid skin irritations. Goodbye fleas.

Rainy day cure for dog odor... Next time your dog comes in from the rain, simply wipe down the animal with Bounce or any dryer sheet, instantly making your dog smell springtime fresh.

Eliminate ear mites... All it takes is a few drops of Wesson

corn oil in your cat's ear. Massage it in, then clean with a cotton ball. Repeat daily for 3 days. The oil soothes the cat's skin, smothers the mites, and accelerates healing.

Quaker Oats for fast pain relief! Mix 2 cups of Quaker Oats and 1 cup of water in a bowl and warm in

the microwave for 1 minute, cool slightly, and apply the mixture to your hands for soothing relief from arthritis pain.

"Nothing great was ever achieved without a good attitude and enthusiasm"

HiddenTreasuresInColorado

IcqGreetings4U

Humorous Life Lessons

Humorous Life Lessons For Children

Funny Lessons Learned In Life

Funny Life Lesson Quotes For Adults

17 Life Lessons to Teach Your Child Before 18 (and great for us all)!

A Worry-Free Day Today!

Why Computers Crash ~ Dr. Seuss

Lessons :: Motorcycle

Lessons Learned While Riding A Motorcycle

Life lessons learned from riding a motorcycle

Summary of lessons from “A Twist of the Wrist”

Biker Quote for Today

The Last Leaves On The Tree

The Last Leaves On The Tree

Why Worry? There's only 2 things in life you have to worry about ...

Why Worry?

Ten Ways to Stay Young

Ten Healthy Habits

What Is a Gramma? (+ FamilyCircus)

Family Circus: Grandma Was Here! Pinterest

Are you an Optimist or Pessimist? - Cat on Stairs Optical Illusion

Your Spirit Totem

" The Native American Zodiac "

Screenshot your Spirit Animal

Who's Packing Your Parachute?

Start With Yourself

*Grandmother on the Stand*

What Are Fathers Made Of?

How the Zodiac Signs Age :)

♈ Aries (Ram): March 21–April 19

♉ Taurus (Bull): April 20–May 20

♊ Gemini (Twins): May 21–June 21

♋ Cancer (Crab): June 22–July 22

♌ Leo (Lion): July 23–August 22

♍ Virgo (Virgin): August 23–September 22

♎ Libra (Balance): September 23–October 23

♏ Scorpio (Scorpion): October 24–November 21

♐ Sagittarius (Archer): November 22–December 21

♑ Capricorns (Goat): December 22–January 19

♒ Aquarius (Water Bearer): January 20–February 18

♓ Pisces (Fish): February 19–March 20

Choices ~ Inspiring Poetry

Ten of the Funniest One-Liners Ever Written

Lessons learned from E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial

Everything I Need to Know I Learned from E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial

E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)

We're Outta' Here

So Many Men, So Little Aspirin - IcqGreetings4U

Lessons: Sheep

All I Need To Know About LifeI Learned From Sheep

Life Lessons Learned from a Cow

The Logger's New Math

THE LOGGERS NEW MATH ~ CHANGING TIMES ~

Lessons Learned from a Tree

Grandma's Cures

Grandmother on the Stand

All I Need To Know About Life
I Learned From Sheep

THE LOGGERS NEW MATH
~ CHANGING TIMES ~