• Your personal life
• Your professional life
• Your spiritual life
• Any other areas you want to see success

Each area you’re seeking success in is different. However, each area is not unique in what you must do to reach success.

Photo by Anna Kolosyuk on Unsplash

What Is Your Picture Of Success?

Think about what success looks like for you. What do you want in your life? Your business? Your spiritual life?

A lot of leaders desire the following:

• More time with family
• A thriving team
• Financial freedom
• Open communication lines
• A lasting legacy

All of these are great things. However, you’re just touching the tip of the iceberg when you’re listing out success in these terms. You have to paint a clearer, more defined picture of success.

Instead of:

• More time with family: consider the picture of success in that area as: I spend X hours a week with my family. We go to ballgames, movies, and concerts. We enjoy each other’s presence. We love the time we share and the experiences we have together.
• A thriving team, consider: My team is fully functioning. My team all know their roles, responsibilities, and next action steps. They’re happy with where they are and where they can go.
• Financial freedom, paint the picture: My family and I are financially free. Financial freedom means that our mortgage is paid off, we have no debt, and we can splurge without the fear of going into debt. Our total household income equals X amount of dollars. Financial freedom is having more than enough to go on date nights, donate to our church and other loved non-profits, save for our kids’ college education, and save for retirement.
• Open communication lines become: We have daily stand-up meetings where everyone is free to share. And they do! My door is open and people use it to share concerns, updates, and wins. Everyone is willing to share without judgment or fear of retribution.
• A lasting legacy is great, but what does that look like? It looks like this: I have written 5 books that have impacted the lives of millions of readers. Their lives have been changed because of the words I have written. My children’s children have heard the stories of Grandma and Grandpa and how their love stayed true despite difficult times. Generations have come to faith because of the faith I lived out.

Can you see the differences in each statement of success? The first set was generic. They laid out a 10,000 foot overview. They didn’t get to the specifics.

The second set spelled out success more clearly. As you read the second set, you can see what success means. You also see an endpoint. You see a way to tell if there is success.

That’s painting the picture of success. That’s making success a clear target to reach.

Let’s make our success goals clear, specific, and achievable. The more clearly you paint the picture of success, the more likely you’ll be able to reach what you deem success.

Alfred Hitchcock’s Strangers on a Train is a masterclass in suspense. But beneath the psychological tension lies a powerful study in leadership, ethics, and influence. The film explores what happens when boundaries are unclear, when influence goes unchecked, and when small decisions spiral into major consequences.

At its core, the story contrasts two individuals: Guy Haines, who hesitates and rationalizes, and Bruno Anthony, who manipulates, reframes, and acts without ethical restraint. For leaders, this dynamic becomes a cautionary tale: leadership is not just about action, it’s about clarity, accountability, and control over one’s decisions and associations.

Quotes And Leadership Lessons From Strangers On A Train

1. The Danger of Casual Words

“Criss-cross.” – Bruno

What begins as a seemingly harmless conversation becomes, in Bruno’s mind, a binding agreement. Guy fails to recognize how his words are being interpreted, and that ambiguity creates the foundation for everything that follows.

Leadership Lesson: Leaders operate in environments where words carry weight. Even speculative or joking comments can be interpreted as intent, direction, or approval.

Application: Be deliberate in how you communicate, especially in ambiguous or informal settings where misinterpretation is more likely. Clarify your intent when discussing hypothetical or sensitive topics so others do not mistake conversation for commitment. Reinforce key messages to ensure alignment and avoid unintended consequences.

2. Influence Without Authority Can Be Powerful—and Dangerous

“Each of us murders someone…” – Bruno

Bruno has no formal authority, yet he exerts increasing psychological pressure on Guy. Through repetition, reframing, and normalization, he shifts the conversation from absurd to plausible.

Leadership Lesson: Influence is not dependent on title. Informal influencers can shape decisions, behaviors, and culture, positively or negatively.

Application: Identify individuals within your organization who exert influence without formal authority and understand how they shape team dynamics. Develop awareness of persuasion tactics such as normalization and framing so you can recognize when influence becomes manipulation. Strengthen your own decision-making discipline to resist pressure that conflicts with your values.

3. Ethical Ambiguity Is a Leadership Liability

“You’re not really going through with it?” – Guy

Guy never clearly rejects Bruno’s proposal early on. His hesitation creates space for Bruno to interpret silence as agreement and to act accordingly.

Leadership Lesson: Unclear ethical positions invite risk. Leaders who fail to define boundaries leave room for others to define them instead.

Application: State your ethical boundaries clearly and early when confronted with questionable ideas or behavior. Address concerns directly rather than assuming situations will resolve themselves. Recognize that silence or hesitation can be interpreted as approval, even when that is not your intention.

4. You Are Responsible for the Company You Keep

“You’re the one I chose.” – Bruno

Bruno’s fixation on Guy is not random. He selects him based on perceived compatibility and vulnerability. Guy becomes entangled simply by engaging and not disengaging quickly enough.

Leadership Lesson: Association carries accountability. Leaders are judged not only by their actions, but by the people they tolerate and engage with.

Application: Be intentional about the relationships you maintain, particularly in professional settings where reputations are interconnected. Distance yourself quickly and clearly from individuals whose behavior conflicts with your values. Protect your credibility by documenting your position and actions when risks arise.

5. Charisma Without Character Is a Leadership Risk

Bruno is charming, articulate, and engaging, but deeply unethical. His likability masks dangerous intentions, making him more persuasive.

Leadership Lesson: Charisma can create blind spots. Leaders must evaluate character, not just personality.

Application: Look beyond surface traits such as charm and confidence when assessing individuals in leadership or influential roles. Pay close attention to consistency between words and actions, as this reveals true character. Encourage decision-making processes that rely on evidence and behavior rather than likability alone.

6. Delay Compounds Risk

Guy repeatedly delays confronting Bruno and addressing the situation. Each delay allows the problem to escalate and become more difficult to manage.

Leadership Lesson: Avoidance is not neutral. It increases complexity and risk over time.

Application: Address issues early, even when they are uncomfortable or inconvenient, to prevent escalation. Develop a habit of timely decision-making so problems are contained before they grow. Recognize that inaction is itself a decision with consequences.

7. Competing Priorities Can Blur Judgment

Guy is distracted by his tennis career, public image, and personal relationships as he deals with a growing crisis. These competing pressures dilute his focus and slow his response.

Leadership Lesson: When priorities conflict, judgment can suffer. Leaders must create clarity amid competing demands.

Application: Take time to reassess priorities when multiple pressures compete for your attention. Separate urgent tasks from truly important decisions to ensure the right issues receive focus. Seek external perspectives when you are too close to a situation to evaluate it objectively.

8. Psychological Awareness Is a Leadership Skill

Bruno isolates, pressures, and manipulates Guy psychologically. The tension escalates because Guy does not fully recognize or counter these tactics early.

Leadership Lesson: Understanding human behavior is essential for leadership. Awareness of manipulation and psychological pressure protects both leaders and teams.

Application: Educate yourself and your team on common manipulation tactics so they can be identified early. Create an environment where individuals feel safe, raising concerns about uncomfortable or suspicious situations. Encourage open dialogue so psychological pressure cannot operate unchecked.

9. Accountability Cannot Be Outsourced

“It’s just a matter of who does what.” – Bruno

Bruno’s entire plan is built on avoiding accountability by exchanging crimes. He assumes responsibility can be divided in a way that eliminates personal consequence.

Leadership Lesson: Accountability is indivisible. Attempts to diffuse or obscure it ultimately fail.

Application: Maintain clear ownership of decisions and outcomes within your team or organization. Avoid structures or practices that dilute responsibility or create ambiguity about who is accountable. Reinforce a culture where individuals take responsibility for their actions and their consequences.

10. Leadership Is Ultimately About Boundaries

Guy’s central failure is his inability to establish and enforce firm boundaries with Bruno. Without those boundaries, he is pulled deeper into a situation he never intended to enter.

Leadership Lesson: Boundaries protect integrity, clarity, and control.

Application: Communicate your limits clearly and reinforce them through consistent action. Say no decisively when situations conflict with your values or objectives. Recognize that strong boundaries not only protect you but also provide clarity for others.

Final Reflection: Who Controls the Switches?

Strangers on a Train is, at its heart, a story about control, who has it, who loses it, and how quickly it can shift. In leadership terms, it asks a critical question:

Are you setting the direction of your path, or allowing others to quietly switch your tracks?

Guy’s journey shows how hesitation, ambiguity, and delayed action can lead to loss of control. Bruno’s role demonstrates how unchecked influence can become dangerous.

The leadership takeaway is clear:

• Define your boundaries early
• Act decisively when those boundaries are challenged
• Never underestimate the power of influence, yours or someone else’s

Because in leadership, as on the rails…
the smallest switch can change the entire destination.

Especially when you feel like the people around you don’t want to learn from you.

But what if you could change this? What if you could attract people who wanted to learn?

I think you can. There are three things you can do to make people want to learn from you. Let’s look at those below.

Photo by Quilia on Unsplash

3 Ways To Get People To Want To Learn From You

Be likable:

I was recently reading an excerpt from John Maxwell’s book, Developing the Leaders Around You. In the excerpt, Maxwell said:

If they don’t like you, they will not want to learn from you.

Have you ever considered that this might be your biggest hurdle to getting your team members to listen to you? Have you considered that you may be unlikable?

How can you increase your likability? Try the following:

• Be kind
• Be interested
• Be gentle

When you do these three things, you increase your likability. You also increase the likelihood that others will want to learn from you.

Be fun:

I’m not talking about silly or cute. I’m talking about making the learning process more fun.

Let’s drop the boring monologues and less-than-inspiring speeches. Instead, bring some fun to the way you lead and teach.

What could you do to be more fun? Try these actions:

• Incorporate pop culture into your teaching
• Make the topics relatable
• Choose the right topics

People want to learn. They also want to be entertained. Combining the two can be your secret sauce to teaching others. I know I’ve found great success with the Reel Leadership model.

People love it. They love seeing how their everyday entertainment can be a learning moment. What’s your fun twist?

Be relevant:

Is there anything worse than a teacher who’s not relevant? I can’t think of one.

When you bring relevance to your teaching style, you help people understand who you are, who they are, and why they’re learning from you.

Try to show the following when teaching:

• How the topic impacts their lives inside and outside of work
• What they’re going to be able to do after the training
• Who they can impact because of what they’ve learned

Making learning relevant helps the people you’re teaching grow and stretch beyond what they believe they can do. They’ll see how what they’re learning can be applied to multiple aspects of their lives. They will also see the benefit they can bring to the world around them.

Let’s Grow People

Leadership isn’t about growing organizations. While it may be a small part of a leader’s role, the real role of a leader is to grow people.

You will grow your people when you can teach your people. You will teach your people when you connect with them. You will connect with people when you bring the fun and become relevant.

Which of the three ways above will help you grow and connect with your people? Consider putting one of the ways into practice today.

Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu brings the stars of the Disney+ hit series The Mandalorian to the big screen. It’s over 2 hours of fun, thrills, and a return to the Star Wars we all longed for.

The Mandalorian Din Djarin (Pedro Pascal) and Grogu have settled down a bit after their adventures in the TV show. They’re now working for the New Republic.

What’s their role? Hunting down bad guys and collecting bounties. And that’s what this film is about: Their hunt for the evil Commander Coin (Jonny Coyne).

To reach this goal, the Mandalorian and Grogu partner with the Hutt Twins. They want the Mandalorian to hunt down their nephew, Rotta the Hutt (Jeremy Allen White). He’s Jabba the Hutt’s last remaining heir. He’s also the only one preventing the Twins from taking the throne.

The Hutt Twins promise the Mandalorian and Grogu that if they bring back Rotta the Hutt, they will give him the location of Commander Coin. They take the job, begrudgingly. Eventually, they learn something that changes their mission.

As you can imagine, Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu is packed with leadership lessons. We’re going to explore some of those leadership lessons in this edition of Reel Leadership.

Quotes And Leadership Lessons From Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu

1. People will think bad leadership is good at times:

The film opens with the Mandalorian and Grogu tracking down an Imperial warlord, Commander Barro (Hemky Madera). Barro has convened local leaders whom he is charging a protection fee.

What does Barro tell the leaders he’s gathered? He lies. He tells them how much better the galaxy was under the Empire’s rule.

Oof.

I’ve seen this play out in many organizations. Leaders have been groomed to talk kindly of the past, poor leadership that came before them.

These are leaders who:

• Tanked the company
• Misused company assets
• Abused employees

Why do these new leaders praise the old, corrupt leadership? Because they see what’s in it for themselves if they do. They can extort, contort, and control.

Just like the bad leadership team did.

Beware of this. If you see this play out, run. Run fast and run far.

2. Bad leaders won’t stick around when a challenge arises:

The Mandalorian and Grogu breach Imperial warlord Commander Barro’s facility on a planet very similar to the ice planet Hoth. Barro knows the Mandalorian and Grogu are getting close to capturing him.

What does he do? He passes out weapons to the local leaders. He tells them to take up arms against the bounty hunter.

Then he flees. Barro leaves the people in the room to fend for themselves while he tries to escape.

The challenge was too great for Barro.

Beware of leaders who won’t stick around for a challenge – Leadership Lessons From Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu
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Bad leaders don’t stick around when challenges arise. They see a challenge and they run. Or they delegate the challenge to those in the organization whom he doesn’t care about.

Great leaders stick around when the going gets tough. They’re not scared of a good challenge. They see a challenge as a chance to stretch their leadership muscles.

Stick around when a challenge arises. You might discover you’re more capable than you think.

3. Colonel Ward (Sigourney Weaver):

This isn’t about revenge. It’s about preventing another war.

Colonel Ward is a leader in the New Republic army. She’s been sending out the Mandalorian and Grogu to hunt down and capture violent threats to the Republic.

However, the Mandalorian has killed many of those threats. Threats that could have given up valuable information to the New Republic.

The Mandalorian saw his mission as a revenge mission. Colonel Ward saw the missions as an effort to prevent another war.

People will see your organization’s mission in different ways. They’ll see it through the lens of their story.

Here’s how you make sure people grab onto the vision in the way you want them to:

• Make it personal – Show them what’s in it for them
• Make it relatable – Organizational missions are often vague and have no relation to the team members trying to achieve them. Make the mission relatable.
• Make it hold weight – Colonel Ward told the Mandalorian it’s about preventing another war. That’s heavy. What’s your mission doing? What’s the weight of your mission?

You’ll tap into the heart and effort of your people when you take the three actions above.

4. Garazeb “Zeb” Orrelios (Steve Blum):

You didn’t say no, either.

Colonel Ward gives the Mandalorian his next target: Commander Coin. Coin’s identity is unknown. He’s a shadowy figure in the Empire. No one knows who he is…

Except the Hutt Twins.

Colonel Ward tells the Mandalorian he will have to complete a job for the Hutt Twins. The Mandalorian is extremely opposed to working for someone he considers evil.

Great leaders know they have to be clear communicators – Leadership Lessons From Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu
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Zeb says let’s take a look at the Hutt’s. The Mandalorian says he didn’t say yes to the job. Zeb then states he didn’t say no, either.

As leaders, we have to be clear in our communications. We have to let our yes be yes and our no be no.

Be as clear as you can be when communicating. The clearer you are, the more clarity you give to your team.

5. Your mission may change:

The Mandalorian was given the mission of bringing back Rotta the Hutt. When he finds Rotta, the situation is not what he expected.

Rotta is jacked. He’s a gifted fighter. He doesn’t want to leave where he is. He’s not the prisoner the Mandalorian thought he was.

That means there’s a change to the mission.

Have you ever reached the first or second stage in a project only to discover you’re not headed in the right direction? What did you do?

You changed directions. Your mission changed.

It’s okay to change your mission after you start. You’re going to find that changing course isn’t a thing to fear. Changing course is a way of leadership.

6. People will change sides quickly:

Rotta the Hutt was Lord Janu’s most beloved fighter. He had taken out countless opponents. He was ready to fight his final bout before being released from Janu’s debt.

Because the Mandalorian tried to free him, the Mandalorian would be Rotta’s next opponent.

The fight begins. The crowd cheers for Rotta. They want to see him destroy the Mandalorian.

The fight didn’t go Rotta’s way. The Mandalorian eventually bests him. However, the Mandalorian was now encouraged to kill Rotta.

The crowd erupts in a chant of:

Kill! Kill! Kill!

The crowd changed sides quickly. They turned on Rotta and embraced the Mandalorian.

You can win the hearts of your people all day, every day. However, their hearts can quickly change allegiance.

The people you lead will change sides to whom they believe will best serve them. Be the one who serves best.

7. The Mandalorian:

I made a call.

The Mandalorian doesn’t return to Colonel Ward with Rotta. Instead, he returns with Commander Coin. The real target of the mission.

Colonel Ward is upset. She tells the Mandalorian that Coin isn’t a Hutt.

He’s informed he’s now crossed the Hutts. The Hutts hold a grudge. He needs to watch out.

Great leaders own the calls they make – Leadership Lessons From Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu
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That doesn’t matter to the Mandalorian. He made a call. He stood behind the call.

When you make a call, you have to be willing to stand behind it. You may encounter opposition. People telling you that you made a bad call. That you did the wrong thing.

What matters here is that you believed in the call. You own the call. And you’re willing to accept the consequences.

8. The follower will become the leader at some point:

The Hutts send out Embo, a Kyuzo, after the Mandalorian and Grogu. They want their heads on a platter.

Embo reminds me of a samurai. He’s got the cool looks. Great moves. And he originally appeared in episode 17 of season 2 of The Clone Wars, titled “Bounty Hunters”.

Embo captures the Mandalorian. This leaves Grogu without his leader.

What happens next? Grogu devises a plan to get the Mandalorian back. Grogu takes charge. He becomes a leader.

After rescuing the Mandalorian, the Mandalorian tells Grogu:

The old protect the young. Then the young protect the old.

It’s the story of leadership.

When there’s an opportunity to step up, your team members will. You will have to trust them to get the job done when you’re not there… or around to lead anymore.

Your people will need to become leaders at some point. Be there to teach and train them. You’ll give them the best possible chance to succeed.

9. Be kind:

Bilgo “Gatori” Sturgeons is a swamp-dwelling creature on the planet of Nal Hutta, the planet of the Hutts. Grogu encounters him when he’s searching for food. Grogu steals a single fish without Gatori noticing. Or so he thought.

Grogu returns to Gatori’s hutt later to steal another fish. He’s hungry and needs to eat. This time, Gatori lets Grogu know he sees him.

Instead of chastising Grogu, he welcomes him in. He offers him a fish. He even protects him from Embo.

That’s kindness.

We don’t have to punish everyone for every wrong they commit. We can choose when to lay down the law and when to show kindness.

My opinion? We need to show kindness and grace more often than we lay down the law.

Be a kind leader.

10. The Mandalorian:

Your turn.

The Mandalorian had never let Grogu pilot his ship, The Razorcrest. Grogu had shown interest and tried to in the past. Yet, the Mandalorian wouldn’t let him.

After the events of the movie, the Mandalorian calls Grogu to the pilot seat. He tells Grogu it’s his turn now.

Grogu engages the hyperdrive and off they go.

Great leaders are willing to pass control to their team members when they’re ready – Leadership Lessons From Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu
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At some point, you have to relinquish control. You have to be willing to step aside and let others lead.

Offer your team members small chances to lead. The more you give them, the more they’ll understand the responsibility you’re handing over to them.

More importantly, your team members will see the potential you see in them.

Tell your team member that it’s their turn to step up.

Set against the rugged beauty of a Southern ranch, “Searching for the Elephant’ is a powerful drama that follows Jason Bowden, struggling with addiction, as he reconnects with his estranged Vietnam‑veteran grandfather, Griff, who’s facing the challenges of PTSD. Jason is facing threats from debt collectors, which are compounded by family tension. Forced by the tough love of his stepmother to live on Griff’s Southern ranch for a year, it is an intense, raw, and authentic portrayal of the challenges faced not just by Jason and Griff but also by those who love them.  Perhaps surprisingly, the leadership lessons for individuals and organizations are also very strong.

Quotes And Leadership Lessons From Searching For The Elephant

 Searching for the Elephant

“He was looking for that place where he’d finally be happy.”

The title of this film refers to a “ranching” term that connects perfectly with individuals and organizations.  It refers to ranchers hiring seasonal workers, many of whom are content with the work, while others are looking for the perfect job.  There is evidence throughout the story that, as Jason continues to struggle with addiction, he’s searching for his future, for understanding the death of his father, and understanding himself.

Today’s world of work is filled with individuals “searching for the elephant.”  It comes in multiple forms, e.g., quiet quitting, job hopping.  Gallup has reported 51% “looking for new opportunities.”  But according to Lucille, the widow of one of the veterans Griff knew,

“That place doesn’t exist.”

Change

What is it going to take?
You’re running out of chances.

A valuable lens for viewing this story would be change.  It’s certainly evident throughout every scene, from the opening demand to Jason to the continuing challenges of his addiction and Griff’s reluctance to let go of his military past – and his rigidity.  In an early scene, only three players are available for a weekly poker game.  One member says, “We can just play three-handed.”  Griff’s response:

I ain’t never played three-handed poker in my life.
I ain’t gonna start now.

Individuals and organizations are facing constant, accelerated change today.  Resistance comes in many forms, also from individuals, leaders, and an organization’s culture.  Books and programs for change management abound, as do books and programs for addressing addictions.  “Searching for the Elephant” offers a thought-provoking point on this:  “What’s it going to take?”

Communication

Griff’s search for his redemption leads him to Lucille, a now retired teacher, whose husband Charles was killed in the incident that haunts Griff.  In response to Griff’s wanting to apologize, “It shoulda been me,” Lucille offers a classic lesson in communication.

“Stop acting like you’re God, like you’re in control!
My Charles is dead and it had very little to do with you.
If Charles hadn’t been 6’2”, he’d been in the Navy.
If Johnson hadn’t been so worried about communism,
we would have never been over there.
If Ho Chi Minh hadn’t risen to power, we would have never had a war in the first place.
I taught history for 36 years. Major Bowden.  I can do this all day.
My Charles isn’t here holding my hand because he was called home by his maker.

In a podcast discussing the film, its co-author and star, Joseph Stam (Jason), reports that this scene is the one most often cited as “a favorite.”  I agree.  It’s a fascinating example of strong, clear communication.  Something too often hidden in the messages from organizations, their leaders, and managers.

Burnout

“Same song, different verse”

Griff’s classic comment towards the end of the story fits perfectly with three connections to another very real, very serious leadership issue today: burnout.  The pace of the story itself is intense, a nonstop action film of personal challenges.  It’s a story that never pauses, never rests.  There are vivid portrayals of Jason’s addiction and the decisions it drives, including both positive and negative moments.  And Griff’s PTSD can certainly be viewed for its ongoing, long-term impact. The story does take place in a workplace setting, so it’s easy to see many burnout factors affecting both Jason and Griff.

For leaders and organizations, burnout poses many challenges in identification and response.  Individuals respond uniquely to the challenges and demands.  The same is true here.  On one key burnout factor, emotional resilience, Jason shows little as he deals with the highs and lows of his addiction.  On the other hand, Griff’s emotional resilience “seems” higher most of the time, but it is also clear that his PTSD is really one of the walls that restrain his thoughts and actions.

Love and Support

There are some powerful points in “Searching for the Elephant” that illustrate the support shown by those who love Jason, including the woman he’s attracted to (and manipulates).  Helping someone doesn’t mean removing consequences, as demonstrated throughout, from Jason’s stepmother’s “tough love,” to Griff’s frequent demands that he leave, unless…

You can’t rebuild trust in one conversation, as is also demonstrated throughout, as Jason promises, apologizes, does something horrible, then “rinse and repeat.”  The authors described the character as “likable and self-destructive.”  I just completed a discovery learning series and a careful read of Marcus Buckingham’s new book, Design Love In.  Points from the book kept occurring to me as I viewed the film.  From a trauma view, Griff and Jason aren’t difficult. They’re wounded.  Buckingham argues, powerfully, that “only love drives productive behavior,” whether it’s offering a product or service, caring for patients, or teaching students.  His definition of love, “the deep and unwavering commitment to the flourishing of a human,” stuck with me over and over again in “Elephant.”

In a film as intense and complex as “Searching for the Elephant,” the lessons for individual and organizational leadership extend beyond the points here.  Emotional intelligence, conflict management, purpose, and vision are more points of view for learning from this story.  A final thought: People need something beyond immediate reality. Even if it’s uncertain.  Even if it’s imperfect.  Even if it’s unreachable.

Watch Searching For The Elephant Below