Librarians & Leviathans

Hell's Rebels, episode 29: Blind the unconscious dead person

librariansandleviathans@gmail.com (Shimmin Beg) — Tue, 20 Sep 2022 16:58:00 +0000

In which harsh pragmatism ensues.

The poorly-drawn map proves the biggest challenge of this level, but we eventually work out where we can move. The Silver Ravens say "Nope" to regeneration and to ridiculously excessive DCs. We play with a doggie, and have a nice read by the river.

I'm somewhat uncomfortable with The Lout in this part of the adventure. This is an 'ogrekin' (half human, half ogre, I think?) who got captured by some evil priests, magically controlled for a while, brainwashed and is now a loyal lackey. He's presented as abused, deformed and 'breathing through his mouth and drooling'. It all feels a bit dubious to me.

Part 29 of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 029: Blind the unconscious dead person

Direct Links

Hell's Rebels, episode 28: Back away from the door, book boy

librariansandleviathans@gmail.com (Shimmin Beg) — Sun, 18 Sep 2022 16:39:00 +0000

You thought paper cuts were the worst that could happen?

Our attempt to find the secrets hidden under the Phantasmagorium runs into problems, as an obstinate book bars the way (a great betrayal, for Zim at least).

That's basically it.

Part 28 of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 028: Back away from the door, book boy

Direct Links

Hell's Rebels, episode 27: Enormous tiefling, obvious gnome

librariansandleviathans@gmail.com (Shimmin Beg) — Sat, 17 Sep 2022 16:27:00 +0000

Neither mummified apes, nor poisonous spiders, nor almost total inability to hurt anything, will stay these messengers about their duty.

Creative solutions abound. We debate the rules for readied actions. That damned spiritual weapon gets its comeuppance. Obviously evil statues are obviously evil.

Part 27 of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 027: Enormous tiefling, obvious gnome

Direct Links

Hell's Rebels, episode 26: I promise it's not cursed

librariansandleviathans@gmail.com (Shimmin Beg) — Sun, 27 Feb 2022 15:57:00 +0000

"For a gunslinger sitting in a tank of water might not be optimal." - sage advice from Zimgallar, there.

Features spiders.

With courage in our hearts, we delve further into enemy territory - which is to say, we move into the second room. Caution proves to be more difficult that you might think. We discover the lack of Pathfinder rules for handling critters that are actually just on you.

Part 26 of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 026: I promise it's not cursed

Direct Links

Hell's Rebels, episode 25: What kind of tricks?

librariansandleviathans@gmail.com (Shimmin Beg) — Fri, 25 Feb 2022 13:59:00 +0000

Update: fixed some audio issues where parts of Nathan's track were stripped out.

It's too long since we did any impersonation.

The Rebellion continues to gather steam, by which I mean, we maintain our proud record of appalling dice rolls and bare survival. We go for a nice walk that isn't any kind of casing of joints, no sir. Subterfuge ensues as Cassia infiltrates a museum, for a further attempt at conquering the damned thing. Hellknights discover the consequences of f*cking around with hulking semi-demonic chefs. We finally, finally take control of... part of the ground floor of the building. Woo!

Part 25 of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 025: What kind of tricks do you have up your sleeve? A gun.

Direct Links

Hell's Rebels, episode 24: Woo! Capitalism!

librariansandleviathans@gmail.com (Shimmin Beg) — Sun, 31 Oct 2021 19:31:00 +0000

Update: fixed some audio issues where parts of Nathan's track were stripped out.

Bridge taxes are up! Outrageous!

I don't honestly remember what happened in this episode, apart from lying to NPCs because gnome. We purchase huge numbers of scrolls (OK, within the limited budget of a low-level party). Shopping occurs. We examine the rules for crafting alchemical items. Not the most action-packed of episodes.

Part 24 of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 024: Woo! Capitalism!

Direct Links

Hell's Rebels, part 23: Faceful of zombie crotch

librariansandleviathans@gmail.com (Shimmin Beg) — Fri, 29 Oct 2021 18:29:00 +0000

Join us once more for ineptitude in the streets of devil-struck Kintargo...

You don't get anywhere as a ~~small business owner~~ seditious rebel without persistence. We return once again to the bloody annoying halls of the Fantasmagorium in the hopes of making it past the first flippin' room. On our past record this is very much a nail-biter.

Part 23 of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 023: Faceful of zombie crotch.

Direct Links

Hell's Rebels, episode 22: Is this going to be another Mal versus Door?

librariansandleviathans@gmail.com (Shimmin Beg) — Sun, 20 Jun 2021 17:40:00 +0000

Educational visits can be dangerous. "Starknives and whips is just not a good look with skeletons", quote Zim.

We are bullied by undead apes, and discover the disadvantages of party members who are physically incapable of inflicting damage (yes, I'm one of them).

Part 22 of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 022: Is this going to be another Mal versus Door?.

Direct Links

Hell's Rebels correction, ep. 21

librariansandleviathans@gmail.com (Shimmin Beg) — Fri, 18 Jun 2021 23:10:00 +0000

Roger has kindly pointed out that the start of Episode 21 contains 13 minutes of dead silence. This is in no way part of an elaborate Kuthite occult ritual designed to lure our innocent audience into the path of shadow and pain. Especially now that someone's noticed.

I have replaced the file on Archive.org.

Hell's Rebels, episode 21: Hit points is a state of mind

librariansandleviathans@gmail.com (Shimmin Beg) — Fri, 14 May 2021 10:21:00 +0000

"I am not a number (of hit points), I am a free, uh, humanoid of some kind."

Reggie and Mal uncover a Plot Device. We accidentally perform a 1970s comedy routine (poor Rexus). A visit to the Museum proves education in different ways than the institution originally anticipated - for example, we learned you should always carry a slashing weapon.

Part 21 of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 021: Hit points is a state of mind.

Direct Links

Hell's Rebels: episode 20, It's like Casper the Friendly Ghost

librariansandleviathans@gmail.com (Shimmin Beg) — Fri, 23 Apr 2021 15:03:00 +0000

In this twentieth episode, sometimes it's hard to be spooky.

Relations with our patron become somewhat soured when we point out that he is criticising us without doing anything whatsoever to improve matters himself (that'll happen). We engage in budget Hallowe'en shenanigans and lie abundantly. All good fun between enemies.

Part twenty of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 020: It's like Casper the Friendly Ghost.

Direct Links

Hell's Rebels, part 19, real things said by real people

librariansandleviathans@gmail.com (Shimmin Beg) — Thu, 01 Apr 2021 15:26:00 +0000

Nineteen episodes? Somehow.

The party negotiate ill-naturedly with a devil, and go into the salt trade.

Part nineteen of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 019: Real things said by real people.

Direct Links

Podcast: Hell's Rebels, part 18

librariansandleviathans@gmail.com (Shimmin Beg) — Thu, 18 Feb 2021 21:27:00 +0000

Dare you listen to this inauspicious eighteenth episode? You do? Oh, okay. Great. That's pretty cool actually.

The new recruits prove to need more training in the Gentle Art of Insurrection than we initially realised. Malexius engages in avian skulduggery in the face of a sceptical Reggie. We do a bunch of rebellion admin (I cut a lot of it out, honestly).

Part eightteen of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 018: A lot of f*cking birdseed.

Direct Links

Podcast: Hell's Rebels, part 17

librariansandleviathans@gmail.com (Shimmin Beg) — Fri, 12 Feb 2021 21:27:00 +0000

There is no beginning; no end; only podcast.

We continue our suboptimal attempts to evict - with extreme prejudice - interlopers* in our beloved home** bent on depriving us of (in no particular order) life, liberty and our worldly wealth***. Tragedy strikes in our midst. The DM accidentally foreshadows next session's calamities.

*yes, yes, technically "duly appointed representatives of the law"

**illicit secret insurgent headquarters

***numerous crates of abandoned contraband and about eighty percent of a smoked alligator

Part seventeen of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 017: NOW she's a ghost.

Direct Links

Hell's Rebels delay

librariansandleviathans@gmail.com (Shimmin Beg) — Tue, 09 Feb 2021 15:00:00 +0000

Hello folks, just a quick one to say that there is still plenty of campaign to go, I've just been ill and haven't had time to edit podcasts recently. I'll get something out when I can.

Podcast: Hell's Rebels, part 16

librariansandleviathans@gmail.com (Shimmin Beg) — Thu, 28 Jan 2021 12:52:00 +0000

For loyal podcast listeners, hoorah! Another episode!

This episode begins with my apology for losing half of the previous session, and a brief summary of our fairy-mangling exploits. Due to being dim, I managed to download the same recording twice and fail to record the second one at all... sorry.

In which we do a remarkably poor job of keeping our secret rebel base secret, in the face of terrifying rolls from the GM. Violence is the last resort of the, uh, people who roll badly, I suppose.

Part sixteen of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at

Episode 016: Chaos is one way of describing it.

Direct Links

Podcast: Hell's Rebels, part 15

librariansandleviathans@gmail.com (Shimmin Beg) — Thu, 21 Jan 2021 12:58:00 +0000

Podcasts? Never heard of 'em, guv. I wouldn't know anything about that. You must be thinking of another couple of gnomes.

In which we attempt to set up rebellion management, and discover some, uh, some discrepancies. "Murder" or "I would lie, and then lie, and then add additional lies"?

Part fourteen of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at

Episode 015: Sewer brings back bad memories.

Direct Links

Podcast: Hell's Rebels, part 14

librariansandleviathans@gmail.com (Shimmin Beg) — Thu, 14 Jan 2021 12:54:00 +0000

Podcasts? Never heard of 'em, guv. I wouldn't know anything about that. You must be thinking of another couple of gnomes.

What is best in life? Fusion cuisine and committing extreme violence against crocodilians. Today, at least.

Part fourteen of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at

Episode 014: Whipping up an alligator stew.

Direct Links

Podcast: Hell's Rebels, part 13

librariansandleviathans@gmail.com (Shimmin Beg) — Thu, 07 Jan 2021 12:54:00 +0000

This episode? Fell off the back of a lorry la, I can give it you for a fiver?

Hijinks ensue, but this time it isn't us. Scandalous! And I say that as a gnome. Also, new friends are, eventually, made, and I require a cup of coffee for my hat.

Part thirteen of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 013: Ego Shattered!.

Direct Links

Podcast: Hell's Rebels, part 12

librariansandleviathans@gmail.com (Shimmin Beg) — Tue, 08 Dec 2020 09:20:00 +0000

For loyal podcast listeners, hoorah! Another episode!

For loyal readers, sorry, I haven't had much time or inspiration for posts recently. I do have some ideas on the back burner, but work and general Life Stuff isn't exactly leisurely these last few months.

In which we feign artistic differences and our distraction is counter-distracted. If this rebellion business doesn't work out, though, I have a fallback plan now.

Part twelve of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 012: I think we found our bass player.

Direct Links

Podcast: Hell's Rebels, part 11

librariansandleviathans@gmail.com (Shimmin Beg) — Tue, 01 Dec 2020 09:13:00 +0000

After feedback from a kind listener (thanks Roger, we love you) I've gone back and redone the audio for episodes 5-10 to get a better balance of volume for people's voices. Hopefully they'll all be clearer in future. Feedback is great, please leave comments!

In which our GM appears to be underwater and/or possessed but it's just the audio, he assures us. We embark on a chase, resulting in an increasingly elaborate series of lies and impersonations in an attempt to extricate ourselves from the previous lies and impersonations. The words "I'm going to have to ask you to make another Bluff check feature prominently.

Part eleven of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 011: It's such a horrible coincidence.

Direct Links

Podcast: Hell's Rebels, part 10

librariansandleviathans@gmail.com (Shimmin Beg) — Tue, 24 Nov 2020 09:49:00 +0000

It's hard to keep thinking up intro tags for these, sorry.

In which we debate the proper handling of floating corpses.

Part ten of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 010: Kamikaze ferrets and commando weasels.

Direct Links

Podcast: Hell's Rebels, part 9

librariansandleviathans@gmail.com (Shimmin Beg) — Tue, 17 Nov 2020 09:48:00 +0000

Pssst! There's a new episode out. Pass it on...

In which we are apparently an organized resistance group, only without the "organized" part.

Part nine of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 009: A lot of papier-mâché.

Direct Links

Podcast: Hell's Rebels, part 8

librariansandleviathans@gmail.com (Shimmin Beg) — Tue, 10 Nov 2020 09:45:00 +0000

There is no podcast; only Zuul.

In which we continue our streak of being extremely bad at fighting by battling the spawn of the outer planes, badly.

Part eight of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 008: Mmm, blobs of quivering flesh - my favourite.

Direct Links

Podcast: Hell's Rebels, part 7

librariansandleviathans@gmail.com (Shimmin Beg) — Tue, 03 Nov 2020 09:45:00 +0000

*Klaxon sounds* Warning, warning, podcast incoming! Take evasive action!

In which we go down a trapdoor and regret it immediately. Fighting little things is just always bad news.

Part seven of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 007: You have it on good medical advice not to lick the ground.