Jeffrey Epstein! That is why this is all happening, but don't knock the grift. There's Donald K. Trump's patriotic Jan 6 slush fund grift, the $1.776 billion Looting of America, marked down from $10 billion Just for you… and because Donald couldn't get the $10 billion. $8 billion off, and it's still corruption like nobody's ever seen, and anyhow, he and his boys have plenty of time to pick up the rest. That is, if the rest of the gang doesn't wuss out on him, or the cops don't stop him.

Gops might drop Trump's billion-dollar ballroom grift, at least a billion dollars of it. There are still the drone-proof drone empire, and the Trump Presidential Spider Hole to grift. And, the Arch grift, which is as the Founders would have wanted.

There is also the Trump-Bibi-Iran War grift, racking up an extra $40,000,000,000.08 In gas so far. David discovered a bargain with E15 gas, which might not be a great bargain in the long haul, but his car will just learn to toughen up in these tough times.

Democrats could be in disarray, but so are Republicans, the good news is that Dems are used to it. 90% of the Colorado Democratic Party voted to reprimand Governor Jared Polis.

Voters generically like Democrats but specifically dislike Republicans. Once they get to know Dems, they might like them better. Trump wins more, even as more hate him. Voters would prefer the Democrats they don't know over Trump.

RIP, Barney Frank, who would have had fun, and would have been fun in today's politics.

It's Wednesday, and unless you're Louisianan or something weird like that, that means election follow up. And election follow up means Greg Dworkin. And Greg Dworkin means pundits get abbreviated and rounded up.

This morning, everyone's attention was diverted to The Slush Fund. Everyone was talking about it. Even the big time pols, who are supposed to be talking about such things, but often seem to take days to do so. Not this time! Even Josh Shapiro is on it. Republicans are on it, too. Some of them are hinting that they'll run away from it (i.e., the elected ones), while others (the trolling operatives) are already claiming they've formally applied for a payoff, as unlikely as that is to be true. By the way, does the name in the story ring a bell? He was supposed to have turned over a new leaf in life, but it turns out it's just the same leaf over and over.

But after that, it was that elections thing I previously mentioned. They happened in Kentucky, where Thomas Massie found out (though he surely saw it coming) that keeping your 2024 campaign promises that were also Donald Trump's 2024 campaign promises gets you kicked out by Donald Trump in 2026. They also happened in Georgia, where Republicans also found out that preventing Donald Trump from fulfilling 2020 campaign promises didn't help, either. Georgia also reelected nominally Republican state Supreme Court Justices on the 2026 equivalent of the butterfly ballot. Anyhoo... Trump's backing got lots of crazy nutbars through their primaries, but getting through November is another story. This story, to be precise. And they've got data for that.

After all that, pretty soon we'll get to see if it's the same story all over again, but in Texas. And keep in mind, Republicans who lose their jobs during Trump's "retribution tour" are now free to do as they please. (Unless they're threatened with murder or whatever.) But they still have to choose to show up to do it.

On the Democratic side of the ledger, Jared Polis is pretty sure that eventually, everyone's gonna see his Tina Peters commutation as rainbows and unicorns. But right now, people see it as... well, there could be a horse involved. I guess.

Israeli and American war "planners" may have given the reins over to the other end of the horse as well, when they hatched this scheme to bomb Mahmoud "I'm a Dinner Jacket" Ahmadinejad out of "jail" and into the presidency of Iran. It did not work, possibly on account of the bomb.

I had such a lovely little summary all written for you! But WordPress frightened and confused me, and now it has been overwritten. Ah, well.

This is a list of the stories we used in today's show. If you don't know why we used them, you may never know, for I am not going to tell you, it seems.

I did try. But then I un-tried.

This is Trump's fault.

https://bsky.app/profile/rparloff.bsky.social/post/3mm7esvdyt223  (This is a rundown of why the "settlement" is bullshit.)

https://bsky.app/profile/chip.bsky.social/post/3mm7ef5w4e22i   (Is there a 14th Amendment problem with the "settlement?" Is there, indeed, a 14th Amendment?)

https://bsky.app/profile/paulwaldman.bsky.social/post/3mm6dd46yqc2b  (This is the story of one of several child molesters that it is supposed that Trump will pay with his "settlement" fund.)

https://bsky.app/profile/atrupar.com/post/3mm7kq6zxj723  (This is Todd Blanche saying he will go ahead and pay him.)

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/san-diego-mosque-shooting-victims-islam-center-suspects-what-know-rcna345805 (The tragic news from out of San Diego.)

https://bsky.app/profile/proptermalone.bsky.social/post/3mm6dtafhkk22  (The tragic "response" from "Homeland Security.")

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/05/16/business/media/influencers-political-financing-disclosure.html?unlocked_article_code=1.jFA.g0Ia.o7Z55fKtu3Sy&smid=nytcore-ios-share (Influencer payola! "Both sides!" But twenty paragraphs before actually mentioning the main Republican example!)

https://bsky.app/profile/beyerstein.bsky.social/post/3mm5vszkuxk2h  (That Republican example's previous history of smear jobs that appear nowhere at all in the Times story, for some reason.)

https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2026/05/09/ben-shapiro-daily-wire-maga-media/?pwapi_token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJyZWFzb24iOiJnaWZ0IiwibmJmIjoxNzc4Mjk5MjAwLCJpc3MiOiJzdWJzY3JpcHRpb25zIiwiZXhwIjoxNzc5NjgxNTk5LCJpYXQiOjE3NzgyOTkyMDAsImp0aSI6ImUwYjNmMTZiLTFkMGUtNDc2Zi1iZGE3LWI1N2M3ZDE5OGVkYiIsInVybCI6Imh0dHBzOi8vd3d3Lndhc2hpbmd0b25wb3N0LmNvbS90ZWNobm9s (The saga of Ben Shapiro's Daily Wire possibly collapsing under the weight of its own hubris, and also lots of other people's hubris.)

All of this takes place in the context of record, floor-shattering lows for Trump's own polling. He's losing ground with his base. He's losing ground with his coalition. He's losing ground on his issues. But there are still enough Republican primary voters to turn things his way in these early contests. Not that that doesn't cost him ground, too. Because yes, small though the number may be, recoverable Republicans are in fact changing their minds. The combination–mathematically–has got to be enough.

So, about that weekend Chaos I mentioned: Jared Polis has done the dumb thing, and though defenses are being offered, it remains dumb. Also generally chaotic: we may soon be adding motor oil shortages to skyrocketing gas prices. And Kash Patel turns out to have probably literally pissed on the graves of our Pearl Harbor dead, thus proving that there is no bridge too far. Further proof: Trump is ordering the Treasury to fill a sack with taxpayer money and hand it over to him. And though that's pretty chaotic, it is actually OK, because he is demanding a patriotic number of dollars. U-S-A!

We also caught up on some pre-weekend Chaos. First, the slow-leaking of Trump's humiliation in China, where he accomplished nothing. Second, more public lands shenanigans. By which I mean the ultra-wealthy grabbing still more public things from out of your hands, in order–mostly–to not even really put them in their own, private hands. They just own them in case they remember at some point that they actually have them, and might like to use them. (or not!) Instead of you.

In other travel news, they opted not to sedate the president for his return trip to China. So you can anticipate a full day of Aaron Rupar clips of him damaging national security and the international geopolitical order.

Well, if we're not traveloguing all day, then why not start the day instead with some lighthearted accusations of international espionage? It's yet another case of Billionaire Brainrot, as some guy who should have better things to do sets out in earnest to attack... some regular, normal people. Well, some Democrats from Utah, anyway. Why? Because AI profits, of course.

Hey, remember when Republicans were just out to "relitigate Watergate?" And then the relitigators had their children's faces eat by leopards? No? Well, never mind, because as usual, we're way beyond that now. This is just the latest entry (but a good one that's worth your time) in the "revolutionary moment" discourse, there's another new data point that drives the theme home in a different way: 50 years after the unifying moment of the entire nation being captivated by the TV miniseries adapted from Roots, Knox County, TN (where a statue of the author Alex Haley stands today) is now banning the book from its school libraries. zOMFG.

This may require a brief suspension of disbelief, but I do think we have a contender for Trump's most nakedly corrupt move so far. It was previously a different version of today's story, but the alleged diminution in value from $10 billion to a mere $1.7 billion didn't make it any less corrupt, in the end. (Nor does it preclude ratcheting the corruption back up to $10 billion, or indeed any other figure he'd like to imagine.) Yes, it's the Trump-sues-himself-and-then-orders-himself-to-settle-with-himself case. Only now it involves using the case to "fund" a sort of "victims' compensation fund," where the "victims" are anybody he'd like to give cash to.

Oh, you wanna hear about more corruption? OK, fine. Them Duke Trump boys are miraculously always getting in just in time on investments that pay off big when their dad's government make decisions about major contract awards mere days after they buy in to the recipients of those contracts! And this time, they're doing it with a big play in Kazakh tungsten. Which I guess means dad won't be freeing up any Chinese tungsten on his trip. And some people are wondering whether the fact that deals like this always seem to involve defense contracts is the reason why they won't cut Whisky Pete Hic-seth loose.

You want a story about dad's own corrupt stock plays? Well, I have one. Does it play into this week's GINA trip? Duh! Of course! His attention span isn't long enough to sustain anything else, you know.

What about cronyism, though? Isn't there a corrupt cronyism story today? Yes, but it involves a connection to the other nation of 1 billion-plus, not the one he was visiting.

But what about corruption, cronyism and pointless jingoism? Can we get a trifecta? Yes we can, to borrow and completely unfairly tar a perfectly good catchphrase. How about by "committing" to 250 pardons for America's 250th birthday? Definitely going to be corrupt (and crony-licious), because Trump. And by God, 250 of them really is pointlessly jingoistic. We've done it!

Donald K. Trump is in 'GINA with his most trusted advisors: money. Listening to Xi Jinping talking Thucydides makes a much more restful naptime than listening to Lil' Marco LuLu Rubio.

The Trump Iranian war rages because Fetterman is more MAGA than Murkowski. Meanwhile, Ukraine and Denmark make winning wars more accessible for the budget conscious.

Generic Democrats are breaking away from generic Republicans in generic ballots, which is great news, as many Democrats are pretty generic. Listen, if people want someone who believes in causes that they will fight for, Hareem Jeffries will look into that, sure.

The Trump Counterterrorism Strategy makes protesters Antifa and Antifa terrorists, while LGBT and Q are qualified from birth.

The show being as much for me as it is for you, I found myself playing catch-up on the air with the background of the Virginia redistricting situation. We've all heard what happened in the Virginia Supreme Court, but… did it make sense? Would Dems really not be fighting back with all they had?

And what did they have? There was at least one pretty seriously hardball suggestion floated, but it seemed to unnerve them, or worry them that Republicans would take revenge. Only they already have.

But maybe it's not too let for Dems to do nothing, but in a good way.

We also spent a moment catching up on the travelogue portion of the show. We were still on the road over the weekend, you know, making quick visits to two additional National Parks on the way home: New River Gorge and Shenandoah. Which was as good a reminder as any that all public lands–not just the famous or even lesser-known National Parks–are under attack and in need of your defense.

Meanwhile, the collapse of American international leadership continues apace. The hantavirus outbreak is the first time in decades that the world couldn't turn to American leadership in matters of disease control and public health, thanks to Trump.

But you and I (and the rest of the world) know the problem runs much, much deeper than that. In a classic sign of imperial decay, America has turned pirate. And Talk Like a Pirate Day isn't until September!

Meanwhile, as Trump heads to China, they already consider American decline an open secret. I'm sure this visit will go great.

The national debt is outgrowing the G.D.P. Putting a lien on Donald K. Trump's ballroom and arch won't be enough to address his spendthrift ways, and the usual cost prevention method of killing the poor and weak is never as effective as expected.

People are sick of all of the defeating we're doing in Iran; we might not be able to stand much more.

Orange is the new MAGA, as a presidential pardon won't keep Michele Fiore out of prison or help Tina Peters escape hers. Ghislaine Maxwell is a different story. In fact, fellow inmates can stay in prison longer by just talking about her.

Chief Justice of the Trump Supreme Court, John Roberts asserts that his Supreme Court is not political. Giggling right-wing partisans wholeheartedly agree. Democrats who prefer to wait until all hope is lost feel that time might soon be approaching.

Who would guess that Alligator Alcatraz would be a bad idea? Probably anyone who considered why its namesake closed.

Rudy Giuliani is still "alive". Cigar aficionado Giuliani, 81, remains in poor health because of a noun, a verb, and 9/11.

A Secret Service agent at a Trump event followed a woman up to her room, took off all of his clothes, and masturbated in the hallway. Even in the Kash Patel era, this is considered "unprofessional".

Donald K. Trump had his "Military" force Apple to stop his iPhone from autocorrecting Melania's name to "Melody". He directed his motorcade to drive through the National Mall reflecting pool. Oh, and he kills a lot of people, too.

What can you do about all of this? You can do many, many things. But you could begin with sending a letter to Congress for better treatment of public lands and federal employees or sending this letter demanding to stop further NPS staffing cuts and restore their staff!

Donald K. Trump tacoed on his Iran war, then he tacoed on the taco, while threatening to taco his taco-taco. Stephen Colbert hates one of the tacos, so does Hugh Hewitt. Polymarket loves all the tacos. France is betting things are going to get worse.

Chief Justice John Roberts says the Trump Supreme Court isn't being political; you are being political. Sam Alito says he isn't being political; it's Ketanji Brown Jackson. Neil Gorsuch says he isn't being political; it's the other 8 justices. Gops say… thank you.

Trump is dumping toxic waste into a public golf course, as he exclusively dumps bodies into his. The judge isn't going to go all "Amy Poehler" about it.

Gops determine that raising the price of Trump's ballroom to a billion dollars should secure them the House in the midterms. Oh well, YOLO, if they're going to crash and burn, they might as well aim to make a big hole.

Donald K. Trump is a loser, and everyone knows it, even him, or at least he'll be figuring that out real soon. The Trump-Iran war is a catastrophe turning into a bigger catastrophe that Trump's tacos can no longer save. In fact, if Trump doesn't crash soon, we all will crash big. MAGA loves failures that pretend they aren't. That was Trump Media's selling point.

The DOJ quit minding laws a while back, now they're just the muscle to take down 78-year-old scientists.

A few Indiana state Senators didn't like rigging elections, so Trump had them 86'd, if you pardon the term. The SAVE act would have sunk democracy, but not passing it earns Gop pity points. Ohio's back, baby! Well, almost. Now we need to get Sherrod Brown and Dr. Amy Action! Acton into office.

The gunshot victim found in the trunk of a carduring a traffic stop in San Marino isn't quite dead yet. Neither is Rudy Guiliani. The guy shot by the Washington Monument is doing comparatively well, as is the child bystander.

The US economy, however, is at death's door, pulling Jerome Powell out of retirementbefore he could even get into it.

Donald K. Trump proclaims that war is over! Pete Hegseth announces that the ceasefire is holding! The bombs that drop and the boats that sink from this moment on are a brand-new war that we are now fighting againstthose despicable Hormuzians who should not be confused with any other local deplorables.

The newspaper in David's hotel lobby confirms what we've all suspected: Trump is crazy. He will always be crazy. He is getting crazier. We are all going crazy with him.

Meanwhile, we have Rosalyn MacGregorbreaking the news to us that some Dems don't mind going low against one another in a primary. Candidate Joanna Whaleyunfortunately, has heard it all before.

The Donald K. Trump Notta War quietly rages on as the Navy kills Iranians with kindness, and other ordnance. If Trump pulls a few thousand soldiers out of Germany, where is he going to put them?

What shall we do with the drunken Hegseth? Iran makes social media a key front in war against America

Trump wants a favor from Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum. Granting Trump a favor never does anyone any favors. The US never asks permission for anything they do in Mexico anyhow.

Infowars aired its last episode this week, and also their first episode. The difference is that this Infowars will pay their debts.

Greg Dworkin returns! He has a Raft O' Stories™ too! (With minimal X-crap)

Donald K. Trump is disliked. He is disapproved. He's taking down his Gops heading into the midterms. Trump's approval has hit a record low among his core voters. Just ask them, they'll tell you… before they vote JD Vance in '28. Don't you wish all politics could be just local again?

There goes the Voting Rights Act. There go voting rights.

Why is there so much confusion about the White House Correspondents Association shooter? Yep, you guessed it.

Republicans held it together just long enough to end the DHS shutdown.

For MAGA, "owning the libs" means being "hotter" than them too, by Trump's definition.

Rosalyn MacGregor returns with an article by Michael Cohen, that Michael Cohen, warning us about Project 2025 and the hidden war on women to be fought over the next 250 years.

Trump's 60 Minutes interview was edited, even though Trump sued 60 Minutes for editing interviews. That sounds hypocritical.

Democrat's redistricting win lasted a few hours before being blocked by a court order, which unfortunately has not been halted by the Virginia Supreme Court.

The Southern Poverty Law Center has been indicted for paying the groups it has helped to expose and prosecute for 55 years. The administration does not have a case, because a case would make a quick and easy smear campaign difficult and time consuming.

There was that "ballroom shooting"… John Fetterman and Lindsey Graham wish that you just get over your TDS by picking up the tab on the Donald K. Trump Ballroom. Security is much tighter on you reading Cole Tomas Allen's manifesto than it was on Cole Tomas Allen and his guns, because Trump would rather be shot than embarrassed.

Trump called off Witkoff and Kushner's travel to Pakistan for peace talks because Trump would rather have everyone shot than be embarrassed… which is pretty damn embarrassing.

New Jersey Gop Tom Kean Jr. has disappeared! Just follow the money.

Trump has been known to recycle a lot at his private golf clubs, but why is he choosing to dump East Wing rubble, plus another thousand or so truckloads of dirt, into a public park, unless he planned on making it someone's private golf club?

A firearm was discharged in the vicinity of the Washington Hilton Saturday night. Kari Lake seized the suspect before he could escape. On an adjacent floor, JD Vance immediately evacuated, then was escorted out by secret service agents. Some elderly bystander claimed to have witnessed everything and would have saved everyone too, if he had been allowed to… There then followed a sales presentation for the construction of a competing facility, and Cole Tomas Allen deserves some of that commission.

Donald K. Trump of course escaped unharmed, near death as always, and also a ranting, insecure, dotard. His polls will probably go up following this long-awaited pivot.

Navy Secretary John Phelan was sending Trump naughty nautical deck pix, but they weren't impressive, so it's Hung Cao time! Hung is afraid that witches are overtaking the nation!

Well, they caught the guy who was betting on military raids before they happened. Prediction markets are completely legit now.

The Waldmans pass through beautiful Astoria, the coastal city that seems like it was plucked right out of a storybook, and like it has had a thousand movies plucked right out of it, including one of David's earlier roles in Kindergarten Cop.

Donald K. Trump plans to rename everything good after himself and eliminate any bad references. That should work great, right? As long as time no longer moves forward from this point. What would accountability look like if Democrats were back in control? The ex–FBI informant who tried to Smirnov Joe Biden has been slipped out of prison.

It might not be named the "Trump War", but that name will do until he gets us into something bigger. Having achieved complete victory in Iran, Trump and Pete Hegseth now are wiping out the top echelons of our armed forces. Replacements will be assigned once Donald's and Pete's visions are hashed out. The latest ousting is Navy Secretary John Phelan, who was fired after Hegseth caught him sending Donald unsolicited deck pics.

Good news for anyone downwind of Trump at the White House Correspondents' Association dinner: Donald won't be sticking around for the "dinner" part; he has something to get to after his speech.

Virginia is for lovers of cracking and packing, redistricting and redrawing. All hail Governor Abigail Spanberger and State Senator L. Louise Lucas! MAGA screams, John Fetterman pouts, and Barack Obama chuckles.

Republicans better hurry if they want to pass anything as a majority. Then again, Mike Johnson can just hang it up right now.

It's official: "Tucker Carlson – Marjorie Taylor Greene '28"! Bumper sticker: "Tucker? I hardly even knew him!"

There's a good chance that Cory Mills may have committed some light rape, but he did remember that the second to the last refuge of a scoundrel is Pam Bondi. Nancy Mace, however, has a zero-tolerance policy… which is probably a good thing.

It seems as if everyone knew that Kash Patel was a freaking out pass-out drunk, but that's not enough for Kash. Patel will sue the Atlantic until everyone is sick of hearing about him.

Kash believes that he can withstand non-stop media attention like the boys of the Trump brigade, rather than the girls. Lori Chavez-DeRemer is leaving her job as Labor Secretary, making it 0-3 for women cabinet members.

Over on the other end of the ethical spectrum is brand-new Representative Analilia Mejia. Si, se puede!

The US Forest Service is being not only "dismantled". The administration is salting the earth to make sure nothing can ever thrive there again.

We podcast under the cloud of another mass shootings in Shreveport, Louisiana, and the Gulf of Oman. The first guy is dead, the second psycho unfortunately remains at large, his unholy demonic screeching howl piecing the night. The perpetrator was last sighted attempting to score hallucinogens at a local drug den.

Also partying on, Lori Chavez-DeRemer, who is so awful at her job that Pam Bondi was offered her position. If she keeps it up, she could be made FBI Director. Kash Patel has had a few episodes of his own, but not enough people know about it, so Kash has arranged for Epstein-levels of future media coverage. Patel hopes for the Defense Secretary job.

Kids today! Is it the rock and roll? No, it's the AI! AI is taking over their education, but also their thinking, undermining their persistence, curiosity and personal effort, encouraging in their place growing passivity and indifference… Or maybe not.

Rape! There's an online rape academy which is not a Trump LLC. Eric Swalwell and Tony Gonzales have not been accused of rape but are ducking out before something like that happens.

Murder! John Edward's body man, Justin Fairfax was accused of sexual assault, but unfortunately killed himself and sadly, also his wife.

War! Children… It's just a shot away.

Donald K. Trump didn't turn into a pathological sadistic narcissist overnight. It took years of work, focus and the power of positive thinking to make him whatever he is today.

Donald K. Trump is a vengeful god… Or at least he plays one on TV, which as far as the Trump administration is concerned, is exactly the same thing. Donald is of the opinion that the Pope's God is a low-IQ loser, which as far as MAGA is concerned, all opinions are equal and just like facts, and everyone's allowed to have one, not just some "Vicar of Christ" elite.

Every generation gets the Axis of Evil they deserve. This time, Dems come out against the Rapture, at least under Trump's timeline.

Trump is a forgiving god. He supplied Byron Noem's beard with a beard in her time of need. Now his DOJ has moved to erase the convictions of Proud Boys and Oath Keepers who led the Jan. 6 attack, some of whom will require more forgiveness than others.

Donald K. Trump might not be telling us the truth… about his height. When he stands next to people who are established to be his height, weight, etc., he seems to have embellished a bit… Of course, he could just be a moron. Trump heard that Riley Gaines might have dissed him but didn't recognize Riley as the participation trophy star of Mitch McConnell wannabe Andy Barr's campaign commercials. Gaines then had to apologize to Trump.

This lying moron is the most powerful and weakest person on Earth and is destroying everything, everywhere, all at once.

If Hungary can do it, we can too. In fact, Hungary is doing it for us too.

The Donald K. Trump Memorial Middle East Catastrophe is going as well as expected, with the implementation of a Trillion dollar Marshall plan for Iran, Israel booted out, and support for Iran's new nuclear program. We in turn will receive a blockade of our blockade and a shattered economy.Now, that's some deal-arting right there. Give negotiations another week and they'll have Trump sharing pictures of himself as Muhammad...

Have you noticed that Trump is crazy? More and more people are beginning to notice, although only a few are taking action.

Only a few days ago, Donald JFC Trump announced a beautiful joint venture, shaking down tankers with Iran on the Strait of Hormuz. The following day, Donald discovered that those Iranian bastards were holding on to his cut! Two days later, Trump decided to set up his toll booth a hundred yards ahead of Iran's, then flay and impale those trying to hop his turnstiles. (This is all about Uranium, by the way.)

Who's to blame? JD Vance is set to be Trump's Biden of the midterms. Vance's failure in Iran folded right into his failure in Hungary. "Obliterated Iran" and "Unoustable Orbán" were pretty slow pitches to whiff, too.

The Trump administration has been trying to explain to our allies that the greatest threat to the world are the people most opposed to the Trump administration, and if those countries don't believe that, then they are also the greatest threat to the world. Trinidad's prime minister is using that same energy to aim US guns at those who oppose her.

Melania Trump Streisanded herself and Jeffrey Epstein back into the news cycle by daring anyone to find any evidence that connected her to Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell other than the existing photographs, emails, witnesses, books, etc.  Donald K. Trump has responded that he barely knew Melania, though possibly she brought him coffee a few times. Paolo Zampolli better stay away from windows for a while.

Donald is also shocked, SHOCKED, to find out that Iran might be monetizing their control over the Strait of Hormuz. Wait until he finds out that JD Vance orchestrated an inept war on Iran a little over a month ago!  House Dems attempted to pass an Iran war powers resolution. but were gaveled and dropped out of history.

Kristi Noem is barely showing up for her new job now that they took away her F-jet, and her F-buddy.

Renowned Minnesota racist nutjob Nathan Hansen has no immigration law experience but has been appointed immigration judge as he is a renowned racist nutjob.

A US defense official overseeing AI reaped millions selling xAI stock after the Pentagon entered agreement with company. Where do they get all that money?

How's Donald K. Trump's war doing? Bad… awful. There is no ceasefire. It's not a TACO, it is a complete US strategic failure, a defeat of historic proportions. Hey guys, Trump could still pull out a win! Except, even Gops don't see that happening. Vance, Rubio, and Wiles are out bragging that they were against it all along. Didn't anyone Grok "Strait of Hormuz"? Cadets were stranded in the Persian Gulf, probably as a little D.O.W. hazing. There is an offramp, but Republicans aren't taking it.

Trump will use foreign steel for his ballroom. If US steel wanted it, they should have stepped up their bribe game. The Pentagon threatened the Pope after he criticized Trump. Maybe if Trump kissed some babies and told them how the 2020 elections were rigged, he could pull out of this slump.

How're Democrats doing? In Arizona, voters are seeing the light. In New Jersey, they love their Governor not Trump, boo, boo, boo! They're going to have a tough time holding the Texas House.  And in Wisconsin… WTF? Seriously… WTF?

JD Vance certainly has "a type" … Now JD's stumping for Viktor Orbán, as Trump and/or Putin can't afford to lose a member of their authoritarian ratpack. 

Greg Dworkin tells us that the rot comes from the top, then backs it up with links to the world's clearinghouse for mis- and dis- information. 

Two weeks. TACOs usually feel so good because we've just stopped hitting ourselves in the head with the hammer. This time, we've continued hitting ourselves in the head with a hammer after threatening to do much worse. Schrödinger's Deal promises nothing and everything, or everything and nothing, depending upon your perspective. The markets love that stuff. As for the rest of us, Donald K. Trump achieved his principal goal, war with Iran, and is on his way to his secondary goal of not having a war with Iran. (Pssst… the Vance '28 Campaign Headquarters would like you to know that the "not having a war with Iran" goal was all JD's idea.) At least the ceasefire has opened the Strait of Hormuz, bringing peace to the Middle East and around the world…

Russian soldiers shoot themselves for the disability checks to pay their superiors to not send them to the front.

Over here, the Blue Wave keeps rolling as Dems pull off their biggest shift yet. Republicans win MTG's old spot, duh, but not by a whole lot. Republicans just don't have the enthusiasms anymore. Libs pick up a seat in the Wisconsin Supreme Court. In Anchorage, the vote goes for the candidate not in support of castrating parents. Moms for Liberty keeps on earning losses.

Do not cross the ProPublica picket lines today.

Whether he tacos again or not, Donald K. Trump has lost his "fuckin'" mind.  Trump has already brought hell to the Middle East, so what's a few million more degrees? Donald was going kill some soldiers to steal the oil because that's what "businessmen" do... He might still kill some soldiers to steal the uranium, because that is what Mark Levin would do. Any country might now consider shooting at the US out of self-defense… except Canada, unless Charles turns his back for a minute.

While he's out destroying civilizations, Trump hasn't forgotten about ours. His new voting executive order is lightweight, ambiguous, confusing, and confused, which totally tracks, and of course Trump never skimps on the unconstitutionality.

Kristi Noem almost let sunlight touch Stephen Miller before he could scramble back to his sarcophagus. Hubby Bryon's balloon boobies were busted as a result, although the real security risk was out in the open.

JD Vance will take over for the self-humiliation this week by rallying for Viktor Orbán on behalf of Trump and Putin.

Each day is an opportunity to be duped by AI. Yesterday it was MAGA Republicans, tomorrow it could be someone important.

The Trump World War is now entering its third 2 weeks of total triumph. Bombing Iran to the stone age isn't mogging Iran quite enough, however, and Trump has mushroom cloud dreams.  In fact, yesterday Donald renamed the Hormuz Strait the "Fuckin'" Strait and made an Easter day conversion to Islam in preparation for his final day of judgment.

Marjorie Taylor Greene knows from crazy, and she's seeing some crazy.

Strait traffic is picking up as more countries have been convinced to line up at the toll booths. This might slow but won't stop the biggest oil crisis in history from hitting us all.

Pete Hicseth is in the process of culling all officers determined not crusade-ready.  Not everyone is suited to be a holy warrior, sometimes even white guys have to be eliminated.

The Justice Department says that Trump doesn't need to hand over his presidential records after he's finished destroying the world. Democrats are winning over the left and "double haters" to claim their future share of the debris.

U.S. Marshals waived training rules for Elon Musk's armed DOGE security. Mark Zuckerberg offered to censor Meta users to help DOGE out.

Kristi Noem's husband, Bryon Noem, has been reported to have lived a "secret double life" which involves the wearing his not so secret "double D's". Kristi, Bryon, and Corey have been reported to live a secret triple life that rhymes with "fuckin'".

Donald K. Trump fired Pam Bondi, surprising no one but Pam, who begged like a dog for mercy, in vain. Donald tacos only to stop his own tears. Was it Epstein? Not enough enemies locked up? Maybe Trump just couldn't take the smell of her nose anymore... he did have to switch seats when she sat too close. Bondi is no doubt relieved that she doesn't have to take orders from the Chip Roys of the world. By the way, Todd Blanche will be worse.

Bondi's is not the only regime being changed. Pete Hic-seth is taking advantage of all the downtime to eliminate any vestiges of leadership lingering in the armed forces. Pete's problem is that these guys can fire back. Kash Patel would be an obvious choice to stick in your Kalshi, but Tulsi Gabbard might be gaining on him.

Trump will cram in some more tariffs while he still can.

The House punts on Homeland Security funding, as they have tended to do.

Trump's other killing field, Iran, doesn't worry the stock market as much, because the kickbacks are still great at the moment. In two weeks however expect some big changes… like American casualties, war crimes and another regime change or two to shake things up.

Colorado appeals court ordered a redo of violent criminal Tina Peter's sentence but upheld her convictions.

It's time for Democrats to become arrayed in uniting states with model laws, such as the Uniform Commercial Code, for instance.

12 tons of KitKats were stolen and disappeared somewhere between Italy and Poland.  Who would be able to fence that much candy? Really... there is only one suspect. 

Godspeed Artemis II! Welcome back in 10 days or so. Didn't NASA ask them if they had to go before they left?

Donald K. Trump delivered the punchline to the April Fools' joke that he's been telling for more than a month, and it turns out that we heard it all before. Marjorie Taylor Green is so beyond done.  Trump's most cherished loved ones aka, the markets, really were not impressed at all. Trump himself would have hated his speech had he been listening. Our closest allies around the world also had better things to tune into last night.

The East Wing Escher shed has been approved by the Trump approved commission. Of course, it is just a lid on a super-secret underground facility… Not quite Attorney General Matt Gaetz heard that there's government human-alien breeding facilities. The rumor (that I'm starting) is that the prime procreation is going down there. Name an audience better primed to believe that than MAGA.

The Senate sent back a bill funding DHS, except for ICE and CBP, and Mike Johnson just couldn't anymore. Yay! Did Chuck and Hakeem pull that off? Trump shrugs and pulls out his (not his) wallet. 

Trump took the trouble to travel all the way over to his Supreme Court and did absolutely everything he could, but who would have guessed that his justices would ask such hard questions?

No ICE at our precincts! Normally, that would go without saying, but...

Breaking news: Tina Peters might get sprung. Pam Bondi, She Wolf of the DOJ, got herself Noemed Greg Bovino is a little bitty guy. Tariffs were a bad idea.

Donald K. Trump has spent a month assembling the biggest, strongest April Fools' joke in history, and will deliver the punchline tonight. Trump is done with Iran and escalating the war and is and is not in talks and has 67,000 US Troops aiming at Kharg and yelling "Hey everybody! We're all gonna get laid!" The base loves that joke… a little less than they used to.

Lindsey Graham wants the US out of Spain and is vexed about NATO yet was forever blowing bubbles in the happiest place on earth. Lindsey was having fun and that's what counts... So, Kristi Noem's husband enjoyed bimbofying, and perhaps sitting behind his wife as she was confronted on an internationally renowned affair charge? That might seem a little "cuc…", uhm "yucky" to some, but to each their own! 

Don't hate Gregg Phillips because he teleports, hate the flying saucer demons.

When you only govern for your base, bad things happen, especially to your polls. Everybody hates Trump. That does not mean that MAGA will vote Dem. Empathy has become so cringe, but it might be time for an earnestness comeback.

In a battle of exclamation points, a federal judge halted construction of the golden Escher shack Trump was placing upon his super-secret underground war room. Now it's time to erect the Trump Tower memorial Tower! In the Supreme Court today, justices argue on how to tell Trump "no" to creating an American caste system. The only thing more difficult is trying to describe legal procedure to the hoi polloi and trolls.

Karoline Leavitt demands that the ugly picture of her be removed from the internet before Trump sees it… Oh, too late! 

Trump is suing himself for $10 billion and they have a good chance of winning. The Jan 6 mob want a piece of whatever's being handed out.

The US Army did a ride-by of Kid Rock's house. Good thing that they have such an understanding boss. TSA workers are getting paychecks now, so really who needs Congress?

And that's by re-running our March 31, 2025 episode today.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are were, at the time, back for yet another week of KITM! How do they do it, what is their secret? No one knows!

We begin the week with the White House embroiled in scandal. Which scandal? All of them!

There's SignalGate, the main culprit of which has been finally determined to be JD Vance, or the news media, or an unspecified Democrat yet to be announced.

JD Vance is also guilty of blowing the art of the deal in Greenland. Like Canada, Greenland has a lot to offer in both material and strategic benefits. Just think of the partnerships, alliances, and investments Trump could have potentially made if his first negotiation tactic was ever something other than a pussygrab? 

Countries who turned away their pussygrabs get tariffs this Wednesday, or at least more threats of more tariffs. Nothing makes Trump angrier than someone stealing his pickup technique.

Don't knock it, the Trump pussygrab has been a success with most of the media, several law firms, and an undisclosed number of SCOTUS. Following many, yet not enough, injunctions from lower-court judges, the Supreme Court has six pending emergency applications from Trump demanding to know "So like…What are we?"  

Gops warned Victoria Spartz not to have town halls, but she didn't listen, and conducted a town hall in which she wouldn't listen. For Victoria, if you have to ask for due process, you must not deserve it. Think those masked guys heading your way wouldn't put a bag over your head? Surprise!

Democrats will fix this all soon… we just need to get a little bit closer to their mid-term election fundraising drives, ok, please? In contrast, Donald K. Trump is already getting set for his 2028 election, and beyond. Wait a second, doesn't the Constitution prohibit that sort of thing? Where we're going, we don't need Constitutions.

France on the other hand, takes these things seriously, but their guillotine must have been on the fritz because Marine Le Pen only received 5 years off from seeking office.

Greg Dworkin monitored those, and many other situations over the weekend. Trump's Iran War is going well, for the doomsday bunker industry, missile R&D facilities, military aircraft body shops, and boot manufacturers. Most everyone else, however, not so much. Donald K. Trump promises to strongly win the war again and change the regimes several more times until Iran finally agrees to lose the war.

Iran is set to release more reality TV episodes of its popular Kash Patel Show.

Vlad Putin doesn't mind Trump in Iran but had Donald step aside in Cuba. Eh, Trump didn't really mean all that Cuba regime change nonsense anyhow. He'd rather negotiate Sharpie prices to $5 with big strong men with tears in their eyes. Those pens will come in handy when the new dollar bills come out.

Sure, the White House Ballroom is an ill thought out, poorly designed disaster, Trump is in charge of it. The important part is the super-secret facility beneath the $400 million facade of a ballroom.

How predictive are special elections? What if we take into consideration Democrats' generic ballot underperformance, and the GOP's midterm convention? What if we take into consideration this reality?

The Russian accused of being the mastermind behind the Magnitsky Case (a mind-bogging, multi-million-dollar tax-and-fraud case that led to the death of Sergei Magnitsky in a Moscow prison, and a sweeping US sanction law) will be on trial in Paris this week (in absentia).

The DHS shutdown has been a month and a half, so now Trump has decided that it's an emergency and will pay TSA workers. That, like absolutely everything Trump does, is illegal only if anyone cares to make it so. How many ICE detainees died recently? I don't know, I don't follow sports.

Donald K. Trump finally got around to paying TSA agents, around the same time the Senate agreed to fund TSA and most of DHS, but not ICE, and to blow town for Easter. The Freedom Caucus wants privatization and de-unionization more than Peeps and will cling to their shutdown. None of this will slow the ICE fraud juggernaut. 

Trump's Iran heist is not going as well. The US ROI has been lower than expected, with investment costs being subsidized by outside sources.

Trump is introducing Trump Bucks, which will be worth two for every 2027-dollar people will trade to get them out of their wallets.

Pete Hicseth personally removed two black and two female officers from being promoted to generals. This reduces the chance that Trump will have to stand next to one.

Greg Bovino won't end up kicking back in that private office he hoped for.

In Wisconsin, a guy proves that voter fraud is easy, and that going to jail for it is even easier.  If Colorado governor Jared Polis caves and releases Tina Peters, his own party will probably impeach him. 

Bill Pulte tries again to have Letitia James arrested for something. Elon Musk's lawsuit against advertisers who refuse to advertise with him has been dismissed... Let that sink in!

Meanwhile, Trump and the DOJ feed $1.2 million back into the corruption cycle, specifically to Michael (a spy) Flynn

Get out to the No Kings protests this weekend! There's one near you! You'll laugh! You'll cry! You will make new friends! You will go home singing the tunes!

Every morning, Donald K. Trump is shown a two-minute video of Iranian things blowing up, which could explain why Trump believes that the US has totally won, or that Iran is totally obliterated each day… or he could just be pulling it out his ass. Is Trump an idiot? Crazy? Full of crap? Gops sane-wash Trump by saying whatever Trump says is true because he says it. Dems insane-wash Trump by feeling there must be some kernel of truth buried in all that gibberish. Why can't we just place Trump on a curve with "deranged" on one end and "lying" on the other and simply skip the third axis? Have you ever heard the story of the paper clip? Well, actually, the paper clip was invented 134 years ago, not 182 as Trump… Now I'm doing it! To be on the safe side, Mike Johnson arranged for Trump to be given periodic trophies.

Pete Hicseth is a true believer, unfortunately for him, his boss never was.

It looks like DC will need to Uber their Easter Bunny in this year as the Department of Homeland Security shutdown talks go nowhere. Sending ICE to airports isn't working for anything other than to provide their mugshots for databases, too bad the 82nd Airborne is busy.

The Republican collapse has begun — and Trump is leading it. Trump's disapproval numbers are high, like no one has seen before. His approval numbers on the other hand are dying, like a dog. Among white non-college men, Trump is not so high value anymore. Here comes another election, in Maine, and it's looking good for the oyster farmer.

Republicans take Democrats violating ethic rules almost as bad as Democrats do. Republicans hate Democratic gerrymandering as almost as much as they hate their own… nah, they don't mind theirs at all.

Donald K. Trump learned some great news on his war with Iran: they have a present for him! Donald hasn't got around to unwrapping it yet, but it could be the greatest gift of all: They've agreed to take JD Vance. The only thing that Iran won't be giving us is anything we are demanding. Thus, the Bibi-MBS Iran World War rages on. It can't be "boots on the ground" if they're the 82nd Airborne, can it? Alan Dershowitz wishes it was Hitler over there.

Emily Gregory won a special state House election in Mar-a-Lago's backyard against the guy who had Trump's complete and total endorsement. So, Trump will blame mail-in voting.

RFK Jr. snipped off the penis of a road-killed raccoon as everyone knows that's the prime cut.

Where's ICE today? Oh yeah, wandering around airports prepping for boxcar loading duties. No more freebies at Delta for Congress until they get this straightened out. Trump tells blue states to go f*ck themselves after natural disasters, three times over. 

The New York Times is legally filing against Pete Hegseth's unconstitutional trolling of them.

Meta violated children's safety thousands of times. Musk defrauded who knows how many out of billions of dollars.

Pete Hicseth blew up hundreds of fishermen. Now he's taking out dairy farmers.

Nick Adams will save the US tourist industry with a Hooters at every national park

Jamie Raskin believes Trump is a treasonous idiot and has proof.

The Trump-Iran war continues. We are losing, but so is everyone else, which has always been Donald K. Trump's idea of "winning".  Thousands have died. Millions might die. That's just the Art of the Deal. Donald will soon be sick of winning and will move on, once he squeezes what he can out of this.

As always, every TACO feels so much better than the victories. Oil dropped 8% on Trump's recent retreat. In fact, stocks and oil futures shot up… about 15 minutes before his announcement... Hey, wait a minute! You don't suppose… that maybe… someone… Yep, they probably did.

Payola is a steal these days as souls sell at bargain basement prices after Trump gluts the market.

There's no mattress buying after President's Day, so why should there be voting outside of Voting Day? I mean, Sam Alito needs to worry about his fan base, you know. Trump will continue to use mail-in cheating, because it is impossible for a president to cheat, as Donald has mentioned repeatedly to all three of his wives. And, like his wives, if Trump were ever to change his mind, he can always go back and correct it.

How does Alina Habba not do it? Previously irreplaceable Habba has been replaced.

World War Trump rages on… and TACOs… and rages and TACOs… You can pretty much set your watch by it. Donald K. Trump steadfastly maintains his principle of "What's in it for Trump?" but has yet to realize that retreat is his only path forward. Gerald R Ford heads for the exit.

Japan pulls up to the toll gate and is waved through.

Trump loses Oath Keepers founder Stewart Rhodes support and with him possibly the entire eyepatched villain voting bloc.

Speaking of retreat, Dems have Gops on their heels with DHS funding. Reconciliation worked for Republicans that time, so can't it work every time?

The Senate will be voting on cloture on a motion to suspend rule XXV to make in order a motion to refer the House message on the legislative vehicle for the SAVE America Act to the Rules and Administration Committee with instructions to consider legislation funding TSA, and if you think that's tough for you to understand, imagine how tough it is for Senator John Kennedy, who has enough to worry about with those commies at the Blooski.

It usually takes a while and a couple of deaths to get Trump's attention, and unfortunately that's what happened with the DHS and the TSA. Just as Elon Musk was about to pretend to go for his wallet, here comes ICE to the rescue!

Donald and Melania pal Paolo Zampolli wanted his and Jeffrey's ex, Amanda Ungaro deported, allegedly.  

Trump breaking the economy and blowing billions on a war does not feel like a well thought out strategy heading into the midterms, but at least MAGA still loves him. That might not seem like enough to win an election, but who was talking about "win"?

Joe Kent quit because he'd rather crusade against Jews. Trump doesn't see much wrong with that but is offended that Kent has remarried.  Other top-of-the-line professionals surrounding Trump include Richard Grenell, who had no arts administration experience prior to his Kennedy Center appointment and somehow now has even less. Dick should contact Gregg Phillips, head of FEMA's Office of Response and Recovery and teleport far away.

Chuck Norris is dead. Tough news for Pete Hegseth, who will retire his "Chuck Norris"-labeled bottle of hand lotion today.

Donald K. Trump denies that he's sending troops to Iran. Trump is sending troops to Iran. What Bibi wants, Bibi gets. The Kushner Iran war already costs more than Halliburton Iraq opening, but Donald hopes to make that up in ticket sales.

At 96, civil rights leader Dolores Huerta divulged that Cesar Chavez raped her. Democrats self-flagellate. Republicans flagellate.

In a Transylvanian twist, the Trump Organization is eyeing property in Romania. This includes Trump's signature luxury apartments built over a dump. A Trump tower is already on the drawing board.

Kristi Noem gave $140 million to the guy who bankrupted his previous airline. Really though, the goal was never to "not" bankrupt future projects, it was to sugar up her Travel Blanky, Corey Lewandowski.

Trump continues to shrink in all ways imaginable, hitting Japan's Prime Minister Sanae Takaichi with Pearl Harbor jokes.

James Comey picked up another subpoena to wallpaper his bathroom. Jeanine Zero Pirro wants her Jerome Powell subpoenas unblocked so that she can keep her losing streak without any asterisks. 

My neck of the woods has had 40-degree temperature swings, tornadoes, meteors and bigfeet infestations lately, and now this guy.

Greg Dworkin knows a worse place than the Persian Gulf, and he keeps going there for links.

Out in the Gulf, the Kushner Wars rage on. Israel hit the South Pars gas field, Iran aimed at the Saudi port of Yanbu, and Donald K. Trump will blow them all up if they don't learn to play together. You know that Trump approved of Israel's attack, and so does Dan Shapiro, who frankly knows more than you and me. The Middle East heads into an all-out energy war, while the US FAFOs that fighting cheap drones can get pretty expensive.

Denmark breathes a sigh of relief as their decapitation strike is postponed by several months.

Oil goes way up. Gasoline goes way up. Health care, education, etc. goes way up. The national debt goes way up. Job creation is zero.  All of this could motivate voters in the midterms. Dems could fix things, if Trump lets them, and MAGA lets Trump, and November is just so far away.

Markwayne Gacy Mullin is a clown. Mullin has pretended to be more things than Kristi Noem. Never has war smelled so fishy than when Markwayne recollects it. Markwayne is also a very angry clown. Unfortunately, every Congress has that one Democrat, and this one gets John Fetterman.

Oh no! Say it isn't so! Cesar Chavez has been alleged to be a sex abuser and rapist as well as a civil rights icon. Panicky Dems across the nation embrace this new panic, while MAGA wonders if maybe they should install a statue to him now.

Who says government moves slow? Joe Kent receives an FBI investigation within a business week from resignation.

Yesterday in elections was another good one for Dems, not so much for AI and Crypto bros. The Illinois Democratic Senate primary saw record turnout and JB Pritzker saw results, with Lt. Gov. Juliana Stratton's U.S. Senate primary win. Donald K. Trump loves catfights and gets one in Texas, with John Cornyn and Ken Paxton fighting for God's endorsement.

Don't expect God's blessing for the Trump-Israeli Iran war. The countries under Trump's tariffs, i.e. the world, should not be expected to be supportive, as Trump's trading of about a century of soft power hegemony for a future of perpetual intimidation now seems ill-considered. Iran controls the Strait of Hormuz which is pretty good for a country that lost the war a week ago… Thanks Trump!

Don't worry, the war will only hurt "the consumers" in the US, and who is that? If consumers get a chance to vote in the midterms, things could change.

Kristi Noem's proposed replacement Markwayne Mullin is just as dumb, just the faker, and almost as hated, right out of the gate.

The United States lost to Venezuela, in baseball, and were such sore silver medal winners that they would rather cosplay as hockey players than gracefully accept second place.

David Waldman observes most holidays, and is generally an observant guy, which is why he is a good fit for this show.

There aren't many valid reasons to ask Donald K. Trump about anything. He doesn't know the answer. His answer won't make sense. His answer won't be the same the next time he's asked. Any correlation between his answer and reality will always be coincidental. And paying the slightest attention to him only encourages him, so why bother? Because, a lot of invalid journalists would lose their jobs, that's why.

Laying mines in the Strait of Hormuz would be militarily advantageous for Iran, so that is what they are doing. The US strategy, therefore, was to reposition their minesweepers from the Middle East over to Malaysia. An untimely move perhaps, but nothing that can't be fixed with untested technology and a lot of money.

The head of the U.S. National Counterterrorism Center resigned because he couldn't support the war in Iran… if only he shut up there. Donald is no longer his pal.

It is no fun for MAGA to come up with pedophile conspiracies now that they're hitting a little too close to home, so how about the theory that the Trump Butler assassination attempt was faked? Big (and funny) if true! Today's sociopaths won't admit the error of their ways until the liberation tanks roll into their neighborhood.

Senior KITM Military Correspondent Darwin Darko returns! The Department of Whatever accuses Stars and Stripes of wokeness, such as publishing basketball scores, comic strips, or the news.

Greg Dworkin asks, what have we done? Really? Is that the rule? Is that the goal now?

We are about sick of winning and winning and winning our massive multiplayer war with Iran and just about everyone else in the world, though for some reason as our hit points go up, our health bar continues to shrink. The problem is those kind might not understand that they've lost until the mainstream media agrees to broadcast our victory dances. How many years will we have to win this thing before the world envies Trump as completely as he requires? Some suggest nukes are in order, yet few agree on where to drop them.

Trump's domestic war of vengeance is going about as well, as grand juries keep refusing to charge those that the DOJ are targeting. Pete Hegseth's Fox drinking buddy Jeanine Pirro persecutes 90% of those in her path, it's not her fault no one wants to join in. On the other hand, Trump defense attorney John Lauro is sad about everyone treating his boss like a crook.

What made Minnesota such a target, and what makes it a solution? Everyone should take notes. What lessons can we learn from last Tuesday's Texas primary? A New Jersey Republican is running against Trump. Democrats might get the courage to run against Bibi. It's an easy decision to run against tariffs.

Jared Qushnar adds his own hustle to Middle East peace talks once he figured out that their peace was getting in the way of his profit.

How stupid is Donald K. Trump, at least in regard to his Iran war? Quite a bit! This little favor for Bibi and Vlad is beginning to get out of hand for Donald. Pete Hic!seth seems to be the only guy having any fun anymore. The worst part of being an idiot is when people keep pointing it out. Today, as every other day in the last 70 years or so, Trump has to prove his critics "wrong".

A naturalized citizen who lost family members in Israeli strike on Lebanon confused a country with a religion, attacked a Detroit synagogue and was shot by security, which is paid for by grants if they aren't woke. Meanwhile, a shooter at Old Dominion University met good guys without guns who unalived him, nevertheless.

New details emerge on Trump's tariff refunds, in that there's pretty much no chance of seeing them.

If you are a callow, unserious, incurious, insular, sexist, racist, white code-bro given the keys to government, you too would find AI tools a handy timesaver. AI does also bite back. All of the crises the White House has claimed over the last 14 months were planned in advance. All of them.

Rosalyn MacGregor returns with a Michigan update/fun fact: Michiganders apparently regularly schedule themselves propositions to convene constitutional conventions! And the next chance to do it is... now! Who knew? Well, you do now. That's so cute! Well, unless they want to try to use it to secede from the union. Do they want to?

Easily triggered inarticulate dimwit Markwayne Mullin was the liaison between the Senate and the House.

The Trumpiranian war continues… Not an "incursion" … an "excursion". Not a "quagmire", more of a "junket" of the sunny gulf. Not a "plan", "strategy," "policy," or "doctrine" …  more of an… uhm…

Donald K. Trump has always loved the straits, but lately they've become very nasty. Sad! Trump wants the tanker captains to just floor it and knock the blockades aside, but neither they nor the US Navy can be expected to show Trump bravery under pressure.

Bahrain has to hire freelancers to crush their dissidents.

Back around here, Gops approach the midterms with a doomed play for unity, while Latinos show everyone how it's done in Texas.

A DOGE bro deposition demonstrates how handy AI is for lazy racists without moral guardrails. Meanwhile, Kash Patel outsources FBI training to UFC fighters.

Jeffreeeeey Epsteeeeeeein! while we were watching people and things blowing up real good, new Trump-Epstein files were released, they are as bad as you'd expect, they're verifiable, and there is a money trail.

Greg reminds us that you can't treat responses from a fabulist president as serious answers… as referenced in the leading source of internet misinformation. Eh, if the posts are backed up on Blue Sky, they're probably good to go.  Of course, you wouldn't expect more accuracy if the info came straight from this administration, because what would they know?

Everyone's favorite war, Iran, continues. Merchant ships are hesitant to sail into the Strait of Hormuz, because they are afraid that they might blow up, because Iran has said that they will blow them up and the US says they won't be escorting them because they might blow up.  Donald K. Trump says, Wait, what? Who's afraid of a bomb or two? His guys say the water's great, dive in! There can't be that many Khameinis left anymore, anyhow, and his boy J' red El Qush Nar has prime beachfront property to be developed as soon as his Grok figures out all the nuclear stuff.

Republicans still like the war, but Americans do not. The new prices will make fewer admit that they are Republicans. Democrats will still tell you that they are moderate, when they are not. More elections flip, and more to come.

Have we reached peak antisemitism-ism? Will anyone new from the Epstein files ever go to jail? Can Ed Martin be more of a contemptible contemptuous contemnor?

John Cornyn, a long supporter of whatever, is now vehemently against it.

She-Wolf of the DOJ, Pam Bondi, is evacuated to a secure bunker as forces of justice close in.

The Iran war is worse than Hell, this war is Trump.  Is the war ending, or is it beginning? Yes.  Have we destroyed and killed enough, or not enough? Yes.  Does Donald K. Trump know what is happening? No.  Does that matter?  Again, no. Does Trump, himself, believe a word that he says?  You could say "both".

Did Jeffrey Epstein kill himself? Well, he was certainly asking for it. New Mexico prosecutors are just getting around to searching his property. Then there's Jeff's BFF Donald… so much is known, so little has been proven... or at least proven in court.

Then again, the 2020 election has been settled, has been proven, and yet will never be settled or proven. If Dems don't win for 50 years or so, maybe Gops will let this slide.

U.S. District Judge Matthew Brann rules that the triumvirate replacing Alina Habba in the District of NJ is illegal.

Trump has a new method for determining the brownness of staff noses: Florsheim shoes.

Retribution sights are being set again on Cassidy Hutchinson. Following the red yarn from her pushpin we find Alexander Butterfield — who revealed the existence of the Nixon White House taping system to the world (and more recently befriended Cassidy Hutchinson during the January 6th congressional probe), dead at 99, nutter Barry Loudermilk, who led pre-Jan 6 tours around the Capitol, and Marjorie Traitor Greene, soon to be replaced by someone crazier... or possibly not!

Darrell Issa isn't running again, which is only good news.

Somehow, most liberals still have no idea that the NY Times is a problem.

Pssst...  The Jan. 6 plaque honoring Capitol Police has been installed.

Like a lot of people right now floating outside Tehran and Basra, Singer-songwriter Country Joe McDonald was an enlisted Navy sailor. Like a lot of people right now, he gave an F-U-C-K about what we were doing, and now, sadly, whoopee, we are gonna do it again.

The guy who cares the least about what we are fighting for is Donald K. Trump, as both problems and solutions make him equally angry. At least no new pronunciation guides will be needed for Iran's leadership, nor will anyone need to adjust their governance or diplomacy theories. Not that the US is expected to take into consideration… anything. We'll just commit our war crimes and be shocked when Iran commits theirs. Thousands are stranded in the area unless they're mogging with sufficient rizz...

Polling indicates that Trump could neither mog nor rizz himself out of a paper bag. James Talarico can, however, and at almost Mamdaniesque levels… plus, James has JESUS. Take that MAGA!

Trump should consider a nice track suit to match his hat the next time he attends the transfer of killed US service members.

Ok, the DHS kidnaps, tortures, and kills a few people, but they'd never get in the way of spring break.  The President feels their pain but refuses to sign any bill until Congress passes his anti-voting anti-trans act and gives him three scoops of ice cream. A woman born in the US has her immigration status put under review.

She-Wolf of the DOJ, Pam Bondi announces that state bar associations can't investigate misconduct by lawyers but hasn't figured out a way to keep Congress from investigating her misconduct. Meanwhile, this administration still holds a grudge for Cassidy Hutchinson and if they can't lock anyone else up, she might have to do.

Kristi Noem has been fired. Not for killing dogs, or goats, or people, but for telling the truth under oath. As far as Donald K. Trump knows, that's the only unpardonable offence. Noem had no reaction, as she had those surgically removed last year. Kristi and her young ward Corey Lewandowski will now be "employed" as agents of S.H.I.E.L.D, which might stand for Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation, but really stands for pretending to roll the ICE atrocities odometer back to zero by pretending that serial nosepicker Markwayne Mullin is now the guy in charge.

ICE is building camps and closing camps and building and closing camps. Do ICE agents wear masks because they fear Covid? This is a common mistake for stupid people to make.

Of course, the economy crashes and Americans die, but Trump isn't going to let any of that ruin this experience for him. Jesus Christ hired him to pull the greatest heist of all time, and Donald isn't about to let God and Vlad down while recreating the world in their image. Pete Hegseth is Trump's crusader thrill-killer, his fiery sword of bro-alpha-America laying low the scourge of children and the defenseless. Pete did a Lusitania on an unarmed Iranian ship, sinking it, and watching the crew drown, because we don't do stupid rules of engagement anymore...

Democrats witness all this and say, "but..."?

Dan Crenshaw is known to be a pretty touchy guy yet discovered that he was no match for a touchy billionaire. Robert Marling knocked Dan out for the bargain price of $675,000. Crenshaw loses the primary to Steve Toth, an unknown, who we at least know is not related to Lazlo Toth, or László Tóth, but possibly Laszlo Toth.

Pete Hic-seth promised Iran that the US would never fight fair, no stupid rules of engagement for us! Just ask the few surviving sailors on the Iranian warship IRIS Dena, sunk by torpedo, unarmed, returning from "professional exercises, seminars, social events and sporting fixtures" with India. If Iran wants the US to "bitterly regret" this, or anything that they are doing, they will need to ask themselves, "What would Pete Do?" Would Hegseth take out Gulf area desalination plants, endangering tens of millions of civilians? Pete doesn't even drink water, bro.

This looks like a job for the Board of Peace! Paramount won't say whether Middle East money is funding its Warner Bros. Discovery deal., but the UAE never promised to fight fair either.

And yet, the majority of Americans want a short war with no boots on the ground… Blah, blah, blah! Americans are so picky!

Texas seems to be feeling a bit blue lately. Texas Dems are fired up and fired up about James Talarico. Jasmine Crockett did great for someone who did it so bad, but Talarico offered both style and substance, attaining Zohran Mamdanimentum. Anyone who doesn't do that won't make it out of their primaries. Gops have long ago learned how to deal with pesky primaries.

Listen, if Donald K. Trump gets rid of Kristi Noem will you all leave him alone? What if he throws in Pam Bondi? Karoline Leavitt? No dudes leave though. That's too far.

Greg Dworkin, a nice guy who can always be trusted, delivers a paradoxical raft o' stories out of ExTwitter, an awful place that can never be trusted.

Yesterday, we had primary elections in Texas, North Carolina and Arkansas, the first elections of the 2026 midterm campaigns.  Jasmine Crockett and James Talarico are both fantastic, but James Talarico will now be the fantastic Democratic candidate. Trump has to pick the winner from his losers. We won't have Dan Crenshaw to kick around anymore, but neither will Mike Johnson. Democratic voters in Texas were left to wander around, looking for their precinct which is just how Gops wanted it.

For something that was designed to finally completely strangle Jeffrey Epstein, permanently rig democracy, and usher in the Millennial Kingdom of Christ on earth, this whole "Iran war" thing is becoming a little too complex for Donald K. Trump. Iran is breaking our expensive stuff, worrying our rich people and hardly being cooperative. (And killing some soldiers.)  It is also very confusing because we are not at war with Iran, while they have been at war with us for decades… Everything is moving so fast! At least we got all the important people out. The few thousand in business class stranded there dumb enough to rely on the US to get them out can leave a message with details on how they would like their bodies to be IDed. 

Colorado Governor Jared Polis is probably going to taco (jaco? paco?) on Tina Peters' state prison time. The DOJ will lay off targeting law firms that Trump doesn't like… psyche! They're totally still targeting the law firms.

Any foreign adversary interested in our military plans need not go to the expense and trouble of a Mar-a-Lago membership, they can just check out TMZ.

The US attempts to steel itself to the idea of a protracted war, but all bets are off if March Madness is threatened. Successive regime changes embolden serial decapitator Trump, but how much more emboldened can a guy anointed by God with the divine task to ignite Armageddon and receive the return of Jesus actually become?

Just in case God is a loser and doesn't come through on the midterms, Trump is installing zealots throughout government. Kansas shows whose side they are on by Christian trolling of trans people guilty of the sin of living in their state.

Who had us bombing Iran over the weekend? Probably a few of us, including billionaire refugees and TikTok influencers.

Operation Epic Furry threatens the straights of Hormuz, as the US joins Israel in killing Iranians. Someone had the brilliant idea to bomb a staff meeting, decapitating not just Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei, age 86 (not to be confused with Ayatollah Khomeini, age 124) ... plus anyone else we'd want to negotiate with. (Maybe Ilhan Omar is available? Zohran Mamdani?)

This might have put a hitch in your typical administration's plans, but it can't if that administration never plans, can it? Sure, they said "no war with Iran", therefore, there is no war with Iran, because first of all, that would be illegal. Second, people expect you to "win" wars, and that's just not going to happen. And most importantly, voters don't want this war, so who in their right mind would start one now?

Kuwait friendly fires upon US jets, while Spain isn't friendly at all.

Which brings us to the 2026 midterms, which some still believe are happening! Donald K. Trump is not considering a takeover, just like he wasn't considering Project 2025. Oh well, if mistakes happen, just sue them.

Iran almost pushed Jeffrey Epstein out of the news. Jeff paid doctors for procedures ranging from unethical to unspeakable.

It turns out that Donald K. Trump's State of the Union speech wasn't only a boring litany of lies but was filled with confessions of 2025 and plans for 2026 crimes. In that case, it was kind of amazing that he was able to fit so much into so little time. At that rate, Trump's Epstein testimony could still take days.

A judge blocked Trump from cutting off funding to 22 Dem states to coerce them into giving up food stamp data.

Netflix has backed out of its Warner Bros. bid, so CNN slides all the way to the dark side.

The military shot off its ray guns again, taking out a Customs and Border Protection drone. Soon, the CBP army will be unstoppable.

Kristi Noem is assembling a fleet of bidet-equipped, dildo-laden, flying boudoirs. U.S. Vice Admiral Fred Kacher has been removed from his position as director of the Joint Staff after only taking the post in December. Some just aren't cut out for the military life.

Idiot Nick Shirley makes money frightening idiots. Trump can rule the world with enough frightened idiots. A massive pro-Trump Twitter account is run by a paid White House staffer.

Zohran Mamdani goes back to the White House to play Trump and makes it all look so easy.

Kansas' trans bounty hunter bill was slipped through the legislature hidden in a gut and go shell.

A three-year-old company with fewer than five employees hopes to pick up $25 billion before the tariff gravy train runs off the rails.

People are still talking about Trump's boring lying in the SOTU. The bits tying the lies together got some attention, but they weren't the point and weren't why anyone was tuning in or tuning out. Trump voters are so embarrassed, that they are pretending not to be Trump voters. Many are getting sick of pretending that they are winning. Many importers are tired of pretending tariffs worked. At least Mike Johnson only needs to pretend for a few more months.

Hey, Cubans are now killing Caribbean boaters! Is that even legal?

Whoa! Gops don't know what's going on in Texas, neither do Dems. When in doubt, throw money at it. Things are much more clear in the New York Governor race, and out in Pennsylvania.

ICE remain the manifestation of MAGA weenie ethos.

The SAVE act is dying, and the talking filibuster won't save it.

Howard Lutnick is Trump's favorite dealmaker, so it probably doesn't matter if he can make deals.

Jeffrey Epstein remains a concern as more villains are exposed, and more villains try not to be exposed. MAGA are reaching down and finding cognitive dissonance they didn't know they had.

Kansas demands that trans residents behave how they want them to, until they do, then they'll demand that they act a different way.

The FBI raided Los Angeles Unified School District Supt. Alberto Carvalho's home and office in relation to an AI chatbot company, which is the new hot place to do felony scams.

About the only thing worse than a Trump State of the Union speech is having to take it seriously the next day. Stupid, boring, lying Donald K. Trump said stupid, boring, lies for a couple of hours. Today, Dems have to pretend that there is something interesting about that. There wasn't anything to interest voters. There wasn't much to interest Republicans, as even racism and fearmongering can only go so far. There is a reason why Trump rallies empty out after a half hour, but most needlessly felt some obligation to stick around, if they couldn't manage to earn an ejection.

Another reason Trump's State of the Union sucked is because Trump's state of the union sucks. This might matter to midterm voters, one would hope. Special elections sure portend well.

The DOJ tried to take Trump out of the Trump-Epstein files and of course managed to get even more attention. Contempt sanctions go against the DOJ today for moving a man out of Minnesota against an order, not releasing him under the timeline ordered, and not returning him to Minnesota.

Beta Pete Hegseth wants to be humiliated by alpha Mark Kelly again. Does Pete even lift, bro? Beta Kash Patel finally got to discover what testosterone looks like in the Olympic locker room. Trump was allowed to sniff their medal too. Allowing Kash, Donald, and Pete's fantasies to play out is the highest priority use of military equipment at the moment.

Attorney General Brian Schwalb said that Congress didn't actually repeal the D.C. tax bill. Congress and paperwork, man!

There will be a SOTU tonight, maybe. No one will be watching, so it's hard to be certain. Abigail Spanberger says she is, but who could blame her if she zoned out for most of it. More people than ever don't want to hear what Donald K. Trump has to say. Even Trump's imaginary supporters are fading away. Proud racists are getting more difficult to find.

The US Men's Hockey Team will be there, but that's because they are being made to. The Women's Team was let off the hook. The men will be honored with Trump AI highlight clips and individual SOTU lap dances from Kash Patel.

Trump has a few hours to fill, so tariffs might come up, all of it unpleasant, and absolutely nothing about anyone getting a refund. What else is he going to talk about? Greenland? Cannibals? He could declare a war or two. Maybe a pardon or two.

Trump probably won't talk much about Jeffrey Epstein, Ghislaine Maxwell and art school girls, DOJ and FBI coverups, but correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor has a lot to report! 

Jared's dad, Charles Kushner, is ignoring French summons and would like to stay on the down-low, so expect Trump to flub that.

Following Friday's Supreme Court tariffs decision, Donald K. Trump tariffed everyone 10% for laughing at him, then raised it to 15% to prove he's serious. He'll keep doing it too, until everyone understands who's in charge and quits plotting against him… It's those people who "support him" who are really out to get him… do they think he's a fool? Punish those who made deals, reward those he punished!  Call him insane, will they? Send a hospital ship to Greenland!

Trump imposters fail to keep up with Trump's rapidly deteriorating diction and syntax. Chuck Schumer pretends to grill burgers MAHA-style.

Another disillusioned MAGA bites the dust.

Just The News isn't just the news, and even Trump knows it.

How does Lindsey Halligan not do it? No one will ever replace her.

Instead of raising bail, the rich raise pardon money.

Kash Patel trashed his reputation and that of the FBI because he is as big a fan of Olympic hockey as he is his girlfriend's singing career.

Friday is always a great opportunity to uncover the sordid details of stories dumb enough to be the Crime of the Century, but just end up buried under the pile of Crimes of the Millennium.

Today starts with a perfect and crystalline example of Trump's criminal genius, a way to monetize vanity itself!

So it turns out that DOGE was every bit as dumb as we thought it was. It's all here, but it comes down to this: they asked ChatGPT to make a list of "woke DNI" stuff they could eliminate, and then they just did it. Apparently forging the signatures they needed along the way. (Again!)

So, yes, that British fellow, Andrew, was in fact arrested for some crime that was not specifically related to his being a giant pervert. But in the Al Capone tradition: 1) that may be ok, at least for now, and; 2) it's really all the same crime, anyway.

This just in: SCOTUS rules against Trump in a case he intends to ignore or otherwise work around! This time, it's the tariffs, at long last! Can we depend on them to rule against him on Virginia's redistricting? Because we may have to!

Here's a scary thought to carry into your weekend: 96% of the world's nuclear weapons are now in the hands of authoritarian rulers! Among the world's nuclear powers, only Britain and France remain genuinely liberal democracies. 

Will you be able to read about that on the Internet? That's less likely now than ever. (At least during the time in which there's been an Internet.)

The law must take its course, as even His Majesty the King will tell you, no one is above the law, not even his very own brother, Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor. If only we had the moral rectitude of our forbearers, yet we invent new unaccountable elites every day. Still, around the world executives resign from companies as if they were ungrateful that Jeff made them who they are today.

We could've handled it like Great Briton. We could've handled it like South Korea. We could've handled it like Brazil.

Greg Dworkin culls the shiniest kernels out of his Ex-Twitter turd to share today. Democrats are job creators. House members get out while the getting's good. James Talarico is hot, hot, hot!  Gop Texans self-immolate. 

Kristi Noem diverted a Coast Guard aircraft from an active search and rescue mission in order to transport detained migrants rather than share her double bidet. Stephen Miller, however, shows no inclination in retiring to spend more time in Hell. A Federal judge has finally found a DOJ lawyer in contempt. Judges have rebuked Trump's mass detention of immigrants thousands of times, encouraging him to do worse, faster.

Keep alert to any stormtrooper activity at all times. Donald K. Trump sure can destroy a lot of real lives with powers that are mostly in your imagination.

Hey, do you know who the guest was on The Late Show with Steven Colbert? Sure, you do, yet you can't say that very often, can you? That's because that guest, James Talarico, Democratic candidate for Senate, was given a huge promotional lift by Brendan Carr, Donald K. Trump, and a panicked herd of frightened lawyers, who say that they didn't want to make Jasmine Crockett mad. Jasmine Crockett isn't mad. This Blue Wave is raising all Dem boats.

Just talk about the SAVE act is encouraging voter suppression, and spurring plans for new voter suppression. Don't let it get to you but do pay attention. Our generics beat their generics. Zohran Mamdani is the most popular Democrat.

Donald's pal Jeffrey Epstein led a global criminal enterprise, creating crimes against humanity. Kristi Noem scuttles the Coast Guard. We kill boaters while cocaine booms, while the guy responsible for shipping 400 tons to the US gets all expenses paid vacation to the Waldorf Astoria. Federal Judges can hardly believe the administration's lawlessness, as they have ruled over 4400 times that ICE detentions were illegal. Trump is getting sick of all of the winning… must be why he hasn't been golfing lately. Hope nothing's wrong with the old boy.

RIP Jesse Jackson. RIP Robert Duvall!

CBS let Steven Colbert interview James Talarico, they just don't don't want you to see the interview ​​.

ICE is big business. The Feds paid $128.5 million for new ICE facility to pack in 10,000 detainees, that only 2 years ago sold for $90 million less. Then there's the Noem-Lewandowski Flying Love Palace with his and her's bidets and a wet bar, which could transport deportees in a pinch, honest! Yes, it is a new golden age for ICE, with the exception of the detainees and the employees.

Epstein connections are about as horrible as Trump connections. At least in terms of losing your job in Europe.

Here in the Good Ol' US of A, being a Trump-connected crackpot means you're currently having the time of your life proclaiming America a communist hellhole.

Trump spent the weekend decomposing, inexplicably playing the slug to Liz Truss' lettuce. Here in America, it was just a big weekend for slugs of all kinds.

As always, it's time to check in with the pollsters and pundits, through the eyes of an academic, just to see how each of them are getting it wrong. But while we're on the subject, we might as well note that America's notorious White People are starting to get things right.

Jim Acosta is back, and he's noticed that voters are pissed off (possibly about paywalls), and he thinks it's their year. So much so, that it might not be just politicians paying the price. Voters may have their eye on exacting a pound or two of flesh from Corporate America, too (as Josh Marshall suggests they really must). But first, they'll either have to prod the Senate to reject, or find some other way around the latest Gop scheme for rigging who can vote, if not the vote itself.

A new contender for Craziest F-ing Thing Ever has emerged: Trump is pretty sure that the My Pillow Guy has found the Indiana Jones/Benjamin Franklin Gates of the U.S. Constimatooshin. He's a retired hotel manager from Hallendale Beach, who spent six whole days in the Fort Lauderdale library, uncovering the secret, invisible message left for him by The Framers in a microfilm copy of our founding document. And unbelievably, it says Your Favorite President can do whatever he wants!

Speaking of romance, Kristi Noem fired a Coast Guard pilot for coming between her (and probably Corey Lewandowski's) favorite blanket. Corey's security blanket would be a badge and a gun, if he had them. The heated rivalry between Kristi and her non-botoxed twin, Tom Homan continues to rage behind the scenes.

Who would think that Jared Kushner would be implicated in a national security scandal with Tulsi Gabbard and foreign nationals? Yeah, well, everybody.

When John A. Sarcone III was caught unlawfully impersonating a US Attorney, the Northern District of New York appointed the most qualified attorney for the position, Donald Kinsella. That is just about the opposite of what the Trump administration wanted, and they fired Kinsella in under 4 hours, preferring to have no one at any wheel.

ICE says that they are leaving Minneapolis, to places where they are wanted, who will soon learn to not want them. Meanwhile, most U.S. Attorneys and their staffs are bugging out of Minnesota, shutting down the vindictive prosecutions on their way out. The healing will take years, however, as the sickness continues to spread.

The SAVE tool creates confusion and chaos, as it was designed.

Pam Bondi, She-Wolf of the DOJ, will soon present Donald K. Trump with 10 billion dollars, but for now spends her time freeing accused drug dealers.

Budget director Russell Vought found some money nobody needed anymore and put it into an entourage. Jeanine Pirro will be suing someone for $250,000 after a large wooden block leapt into the path of her staggering.

Pam Bondi, She-Wolf of the DOJ, went attack-dog as expected at her DOJ oversight hearing yesterday. Her mission of gaslighting, lying, intimidating, and blowing it all up was certainly accomplished, but… Newsmax… and no doubt Donald K. Trump believe that she didn't do enough. And after all the spying she did for him too!

Miss Joe Biden yet? Of course you do, but so does everybody else, once they get to know Trump. Even Donald's recent score of the coveted "Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal" award probably won't sway them back.

There might still be midterm elections. The Trump administration wants your state's voter registration lists. Don't ask why, it is embarrassing for everyone to hear them try to explain. Hopefully, Democrats are taking notes.

Who, other than Chris Christie, would think that it would be a political plus to threaten to shut down a bridge they didn't even own?

The White House fired the guy who replaced John A. Sarcone III after 5 hours. Jeanine Pirro might have another dance photographer-lawyer she can offer.

We have known for a long, long time that ICE thuggery would be a bad thing. Now it is up to us, and them, to make it stop.

Ok, who decided to give stormtroopers ray guns?  El Paso's airspace was closed and almost closed for 10 days when the Border Patrol shot lasers at a birthday balloon.

Greg Dworkin popped in, but soon buckled under an ice onslaught, or at least his internet did. The other, more toxic ICE Is spreading across the US, along with their concentration camps. They are thugs and pansies.

The FAA closed the airspace over El Paso for 10 days, ok, maybe not, nothing to see here, move along.

Howard Lutnick confused Epstein Island with 6 Flags. Bipartisan nausea over the Trump-Epstein files has the mop & bleach crews working overtime, except for Karoline Leavitt, who only wants fun questions from now on. Peter Thiel wasn't there for the girls.

The House has voted to take whacks at Trump's tariffs as if they were a piñata. Tariffs remain one of the best methods of tracking Donald K. Trump's dementia. Trump says it's time for traffic problems on the Gordie Howe Bridge, while tariffing the imaginary prime minister of Switzerland's attitude.

None of the 6 Democrats who Trump ordered killed have been executed. In fact, none of them have been indicted. 

Oklahoma's State House District 35 Special Election flipped Dem… by 75 points. Trump's job approval is so low that Gallup has given up trying to even measure it.

Georgia ballot inquiry originated with an election denier who of course became an election integrity officer. Roger Stone returns for 2026.

Everyone from Thomas Massie to Jamie Raskin figure that at least a half-dozen men are being protected in Epstein files. Ya think? It's driving some Democrats to vulgarity! It's driving MAGA to bellow, "HO HUM!" After all, as Donald K. Trump has been saying since 2006, everyone knew about Jeffrey Epstein and that Ghislaine Maxwell was evil. Bad Bunny is the pressing issue today.

The only thing more boring to a Gop than Epstein would be ICE. Why are people so obsessed with those guys? Let's talk about something more pertinent, like the 2020 election, which may be due to uninterest them again soon.

Listen, if you want something new to cry about, Trump always has something cooking. Time for some traffic problems on the Gordie Howe bridge, the international bridge Gops refused to pay for and now want half of.

If you want to talk about tariffs, Gops can put you in exactly 4 to 6 months from now. Or how about never? After all, Trump's man in the Fed says, why worry? Anyhow, Trump's pick to head the Fed, Kevin Warsh, will have the economy growing three times faster than any time in history soon, why not?

Yesterday, Super Bowl LX made a lengthy appearance immediately preceding and following a well-received short concert-history/anthropology/geography/civics lesson by world renown wedding singer Bad Bunny. People who hate learning anything did not have the best time, but they still watched it, because nothing else good was on. 

At least you were allowed to watch it. Only overseas viewers could enjoy listening to JD Vance getting booed at the Olympics. You are also allowed to see Melania, especially when you don't want latrine duty. That movie will take a Chinese-sized army to make break-even.

Washington Post layoffs will continue until morale improves, and for those laid off, it might. The remaining will watch democracy die in darkness. Fewer people watch the CBS Evening News since they cut back on the news.

Pssst… there might be a... blue wave coming. Chasity Martinez wins the special election for Louisiana House District 60. Another win due to Latinos coming around. 

Louise Lucas does not mince words. 

Calvin Ball just wants people to follow the rules, so he wants to change the rules. ICE hasn't surrounded the polls yet.

Meanwhile, the tide might be turning on Donald K. Trump. People don't like Trump policies, but in his defense, there are no Trump policies, only scams.

Trump blew up his own deputy AG's reasoning for Tulsi Gabbard's Georgia raid appearance. That's the least of what Tulsi has been up to, however. When she wasn't supervising the dissection of voting machines, Gabbard was up to no good. Really, really no good.

Howard Lutnick and Jeffrey Epstein did not just share pastimes, but also business interests. 

Blackwater Founder Erik Prince might finally be locked up, although the people that have him don't seem to be the type to have jails.

The Friday pandemonium begins!

First up: The Trump White House's Racist Post of the Day.

Greg wasn't here today, but that doesn't mean there wasn't any special election action yesterday. There was! And we don't know who won! But it was exciting nonetheless, because a Dem "wins" either way. The seat won't actually be filled until April, but they may still be battling over DHS funding at that point. We'll see!

Because today ends in a "y," Trump is trying desperately to name more things after himself. Yesterday, it was "TrumpRx," his Groupon-style website for discounts on a whopping 43 different pharmaceutical drugs. Today, it's Washington's Dulles airport and New York's Penn Station.

Christine O'Donnell was famously "not a witch," but this guy is, and he was at the Clay County, MN Gop caucus earlier this week, laughing at Mike Lindell and casting a hex on the gathering. A two-fer! From Minneapolis, meanwhile, we're urged not to ignore the economic impact of the ICE/CBP siege. And perhaps lend a hand, if we can. 

An ancient scroll, from 1987, may contain clues to a path toward accountability for ICE/CBP and other abusive federal "officials."

With so much unsanctioned, un-uniformed "law enforcement" activity going on out there, it was probably only a matter of time until someone tried to take Luigi Mangione's detention into their own hands. It did not work. But on the other hand, neither did an actual DOJ effort to sanction Judge Boasberg. And not just because the effort was baseless and nonsensical!

Have you heard that most Democrats are actually uninterested in shielding Bill Clinton from inquiry with regard to the Epstein files? Well, I guess The Hill hasn't.

And as for things you should look into this weekend: You may have missed this Trump bribe (because it was reported in close proximity to this other Trump bribe). Anyhoo, the Senator that caught wind of that first bribe also wants us to know that something seriously f-ed up is happening over at the CIA.

Sure, there's child abuse images and deepfakes on Ex-Twitter, but Greg Dworkin only reads it for the polling. Generally, people hate Trump. They really, really hate Trump. There's not too many ICE fans either. There could be a blue wave if Dems play it right. If.

The chances of a blue wave are helped by Trump being a dotarded jerk, and Donald K. Trump has put the pedal to the metal on that one, with no intention of letting up. Even if he wanted to avoid trouble, there's plenty of trouble heading his way.

Senator Richard Blumenthal questioned several Manchurian Federal judiciary candidates and not unexpectedly got the same answers from each.

ICE gangs still menace Minneapolis, but at least the infantry has tacoed for now. Greg Bovino wanted ICE to jackboot even more, but even ICE is beginning to realize that they are the baddies. ICE is losing legal battles, one after another just as they torture their own lawyers into submission. More than 300 former Justice Department attorneys want local investigators to investigate the Alex Pretti & Renee Good killings, because apparently, they haven't paid attention to the last decade.

Why would China fund labs in Las Vegas and Los Angeles? Asking for the several patient zeros… Are they taking the jobs from our homegrown MAHA Listeria farmers?

Steven KG Bannon wants ICE to surround polling places. Steve could be joking, but he'd also laugh if they did it. Tulsi Gabbard went to Puerto Rico to find some private time with voting machines. This voting thing has gone on long enough for Peter Thiel.

Jeff Bezos killed the Washington Post some more yesterday when he discovered that fake journalists have a greater ROI than a free press, and that real journalism can get him into real trouble. Nick Shirley surely knows that modern reporters need to follow the money... wherever it tells them to go.

Steven, Jeff, and Peter should be thrilled to know that since January another 108,000 people have headed into serfdom. 

Elon Musk's "X" Paris office has been raided. France, United Kingdom and Spain are charging Ex-Twitter of algorithmic manipulation and the distribution of child sexual abuse content. Hey, it's not a crime to hang out with pedophile content providers, is it? Greg Dworkin is there all the time in fact, mostly on assignment, of course.

For example, polling. You just can't find that anywhere else. Polling shows that people are beginning to miss Joe and want Stephen Miller and Kristi Noem to go away. White non-college folks are even drifting away. Gops now wonder if they kicked around Latinos maybe a bit too much. Republicans are presently so hated that Democrats are actually beginning to look good to voters. Indeed, Dems might even be considered to be better than the lesser of two evils heading into the midterms. Democrats still have 9 months to ruin things, which is plenty of time.

The House shut down the partial shutdown, except for DHS funding, as Gop John Rose likes them young and is the one vote margin.  ICE asks if you and whose army will make them unmask, ID themselves, and generally follow the Constitution, but first, you'll have to figure out who they are.

Marimar Martinez was shot 7 times with 5 bullets, making her the bullet hole pin-up of the DHS. Slaughter of innocents may seem passé at the moment, but the feds still have their ways. Judges complain that so many of them enjoy being petty dangerous bullies, that there is hardly anyone left to do the paperwork.

Speaking of Groundhog Day, today David Waldman discusses "the filibuster", that is, busting the filibuster, fixing the filibuster and reforming the filibuster. It's now the Gop's plan to kill the filibuster, although they'd much rather be killing democracy, which has become increasingly aggravating to them. Donald K. Trump sees that they got it backward. It's kill democracy and let them keep the filibuster.

Maybe Donald can just shut the place down for a couple of years for renovations. The Kennedy Center had a $250 million renovation in 2019, but that isn't the renovation that Trump has in mind.

Marjorie Taylor Greene sees if telling the truth can make her any money.

Fulton County is going to court over the FBI's elections office raid. Big deal! That's like fining Julius and Ethel Rosenberg for double parking. Tulsi Gabbard just happened to be in the neighborhood… because Trump sent her there. Following the raid, Tulsi put Trump on speaker to talk to the folks in charge of dealing him those 11,780 beautiful votes.

Jean Pirro's coming to take your guns. She'll take the Supreme Court's guns too. The one guy deemed too dumb for Pirro's position, Ed Martin, was removed as head of weaponizing government against the people that made Trump angry. Everybody makes Trump angry, but Ed couldn't find any, that's how bad he was.

About half of the Epstein files have been released, and wow they are gross. Now half of them are gone because they weren't quite redacted yet. Epstein Island, or thereabouts, was the place for the elite to meet, from Elon Musk down to... Igor… who could be this Igor or that Igor but was most likely one of this guy's Igors.

Will there be a Blue Wave? There is definitely a blue swing, and one giant blue swing in Texas. Taylor Rehmet flipped a state Senate seat by 17 points, a 32 point swing, a BFD big enough to push her well-funded opponent, Leigh Wambsganns, right out of Trump's mind. Gops turned out for the election, they just turned out to not like Trump anymore. Donald K. Trump hasn't a chance of getting these voters back, but that doesn't matter if there is no voting.

Minneapolis is being pushed out of the news, but ICE hasn't been pushed out, and its economic embargo is destroying the lives of all the residents. Two Latino gang members shot a white man down on the street recently, but lately the gang has moved to indiscriminate use of chemical agents in the towns that they menace. What kind of chemicals? They don't know and they don't care. If anyone complains, there's always biowarfare. 

Trump might not be the biggest crook in the world, but he's the biggest in a democracy, at least in what's left of one. Nancy Mace is giving him a run on who's the craziest.

Lovable rogue Donald K. Trump is suing himself for 10 billion dollars, but don't expect that to teach him a lesson, he'll always be a kind of demented jerk, too.

Meghan McCain wants attention… and needs attention also.

Trump tacoed on his own taco, backing out of pulling back in Minnesota, now that there are two instances of Alex Petti not pulling a gun on ICE officers, and AI has been effective at making anti-ICE bad guys seem maybe as bad as his bad guys. Meanwhile ICE still gallop through town like drunken rustlers in a western.

Someone somewhere for some reason decided to arrest Don Lemon. Pam Bondi took credit for taking out not one but two especially uppity journalists.

Judge Patrick J. Schiltz says ICE has violated nearly 100 court orders but cancels the contempt hearing requiring the ICE director's appearance.

We know who raided the Fulton County Board of Elections building, who wanted it done, and why… but what about the paperwork? No, it was not Thomas Albus, the German Muppet dubber, but a guy who might be his son, Thomas Albus, the United States Attorney for the eastern District of Missouri, and the official elections persecutor/prosecutor heading into the midterm elections.

With only hours to spare, Chuck Schumer resolved the Federal shutdown. Ok, that might be a bit oversimplified. There will be a shut down, but Chuck did good.

Donald K. Trump went full dotard this morning to demand Barack Hussein Obama's arrest… for you know... "treason". Barack, in conjunction with Iran, Italy, Merrill Lynch, the CIA, China, and the Deep State, met in Georgia in 2020 for a big heist of 11,780 votes, but the Feds finally caught up with them this morning. This was no puny Mar-a-Lago raid. All the big guns were there… actual big guns… and Tulsi Gabbard, who needed to spend a little alone time with the evidence.

There. Did you forget about Epstein and those Minneapolis murders, etc.? No? That's weird, people at Gop townhalls haven't forgotten either. Minnesota proved MAGA wrong, but when has being proven wrong ever mattered to them? Especially when it gets in the way of them doing stuff.

It hasn't changed in Minneapolis, either. Tom "Thumbface" Homan pointed out that Bovino and Noem were indeed total morons, but that doesn't mean he will alter their abuse and terror being afflicted upon the city. Stormtroopers will use sonic cannons to silence voices if their bullets are frowned upon.