Nowhere House

Quarterstaff

nowherehouse — Mon, 06 Feb 2006 16:53:35 GMT

85 Summer 698

It's funny how the men in this society love a pike dance.

Amethyst has taught me so much about using the quarterstaff as a weapon. I'm not one to waste what I learn! I've adopted moves for dance, and now perform with the pike half the time. I can plant it on the floor and do a kicking spin. I can twirl it about me as though it were a beam of mystical light, dancing on its own.

It's stunning how the men cheer. I find myself scheduled for more and more performances, because so many men request me. The other dancers aren't too happy about this, so Amethyst and I have started teaching them the same fighting techniques.

I'm entertaining!

Ame

nowherehouse — Sat, 05 Nov 2005 15:10:06 GMT

62 Summer 698

Amethyst is with a man now, that same man she was kissing before. Could I have misinterpreted her interest in me? I suppose I must have.

I need to get out. The sun is still up, so I suppose I'll be safe in town. Amethyst wants mn. I'll have to accept that and get over her.

It's been awhile since I was attacked outside, anyway. It's warm, but I can wear a long dress. That seems to be the style of most women around here. It's so different from shutu territory. If only I could bring a pike. I'll buy a walking staff. Perhaps that will do.

My New LJ

nowherehouse — Mon, 12 Sep 2005 18:12:48 GMT

Well, I've gone and created a more personal live journal! It's under tha username jfesmire. That's where I'll talk about all the creative projects I'm doing, and happily discuss writing, art, and music, with other LJ users.

The story of Shie will continue! Don't worry. This journal may be awhile between entries, but I fully intend to keep it going.

Meanwhile, why not add jfesmire to your friends list? Stop by, say hello, and peek into the mind of a guy who is pretty much always dreaming of a new image or a new story.

A Few Free Moments

nowherehouse — Thu, 01 Sep 2005 17:46:33 GMT

55 Summer 698

Amethyst and I have trained every day for weeks. She says I'm learning fast, but I don't feel that way. I've been dancing all my life, but the attack moves she's teaching me, I can't quite get them. Maybe it's the thought of hurting anyone, especially her, when what I really want is to stand on my toes and kiss her.

She's a dedicated friend, but I know that's all their is. It's obvious she likes men. Why I'm not attracted to them, I don't know. Lesbians don't seem as common here. All of my usual dance partners, back when I was with the shutu, were lesbians. I thought that was usual, but I don't know anymore.

I’ll have to write more later. I’m on stage soon. I had to write these thoughts down though. They’ve been running around my head like a mad tiger.

Various Bits of News

nowherehouse — Sat, 20 Aug 2005 12:51:28 GMT

[crackle...]

Yo everybody.

[waves]

Thanks for being patient.

I have several fun announcements. The first is that the gentleman who works with local authors, at our local Borders, checked out my books, was very impressed, and is going to carry them! The next step is to contact their regional acquisitions guru. With any luck, she’ll order them for all the regional stores.

The second bit is that I’m all signed up as an artist with Venus Press, and hopefully will get my first cover assignment soon.

This morning, I asked my fiancee to let me rest for a half hour after I woke up. You see, I’d had some interesting dreams. I knew they were interesting, but I was suffering from that thing that happens most of the time when I wake up. The total shift from dream world to reality makes me instantly unable to recall what I was dreaming about. Fortunately, if I close my eyes again and relax, details of the dream usually come back. I’m glad I did that this morning, because this dream had presented me with an idea that just might make for a great short story. I’m going to mull it over and see what I come up with.

As for Nowhere House, stay tuned.

[bows]

Life of the River

nowherehouse — Fri, 05 Aug 2005 21:42:41 GMT

37 Summer 698

For a few hours in the early morning, the tavern hall is quiet. We dancers who board here sleep. The barman and cooks are away. It does not last long, because a good hour before sunrise, the cooks are back. The cow man stops by with his cows and milks a few bucket’s worth for us. One of the cooks comes in with fresh eggs, another with potatoes and turnips, and the whole group starts cutting and mixing. Another one brings in fresh bread, which always fills the place with the most comforting smell.

I know all this because I can’t always sleep. After I saw that man in here the other night, sleep hasn’t come easily. So during those quiet hours, I wandered into the tavern to practice my dancing.

Shutu slave dancers are trained well, in various dancing techniques. Some are sultry, others punctuated with kicks and sharp movements. I studied them all. Rather than dance on stage though, I moved among the tables and chairs of the dining hall, practicing a dance form I always find calming, Life of the River.

I moved like a water spirit, around tables, over chairs, feeling energy moving about me. My mother told me, when I was about five years old, that I had the gift of magery. Slaves aren’t allowed to study magic. That never kept me from feeling when dancing like this.

“I’ve never seen such moves,” said Amethyst.

I had known she was there for several minutes. “Do you like it?” I turned enough to see her answer with a smile. I wore a linen night dress, and now I saw how Amethyst slept. On the lower half of her, she wore short leggings, cinched at the hips. She was otherwise naked. For a long moment, I did not want to take my eyes from her curves, the majesty of her tall, lean body.

She asked, “Is it just a dance form, or a martial art?”

“A what?”

“Is it a form of fighting.”

Little surprises me when I’m emulating the River, but I stopped and turned sharply. “Fighting?”

“You would be surprised how similar that is to the martial art I used to study. Would you like to learn it?”

“Why would I want to fight?” I asked, but she just bowed her head. Still, her upturned eyes stared at me.

“Yes,” I said. “I think I would.”

Tamshi's Imp Review

nowherehouse — Tue, 02 Aug 2005 13:40:35 GMT

[feedback]

[waves to the sound guy to adjust the volume]

Okay, that's better. I have an important announcement! I'm pretty excited about this.

Lisa DuMond's review of my novel, "Tamshi's Imp," is now on SF Site! You can check it out here:

http://www.sfsite.com/

It's right there on their main page. Or, you can go to a direct link here:

http://www.sfsite.com/08a/ti205.htm

The biography for me is outdated. My books are NOT with Crossroads at all, but are available here:

http://www.lulu.com/jonathanfesmire

(I've contacted SF Site so they can correct the bio.)

They're also for sale on Amazon.Com and Barnes & Nobles. Soon, you'll be able to special order them from local book stores.

Cheers!

[clears throat]

I will continue with "Nowhere House" soon. I've just been crazy-busy.

Fear Comes Home

nowherehouse — Fri, 15 Jul 2005 15:16:56 GMT

35 Summer 698

My heart is throbbing, and sweat is dripping on the pages of my journal from my brow. It’s not because I just danced, either. I can dance for a good half hour before breaking a sweat.

It’s because he was there, in the tavern. I’m sure he’s been here before, but tonight was the first I actually saw him. I was dancing when I spotted him in the crowd, so what could I do? I couldn’t run from the stage. I have no proof he assaulted me.

I kept my composure, did not alter my performance at all. I’ve been dancing for shutu demons most of my life, after all! It would take an outright attack to trip me up when I’m dancing.

Off the stage was different. I got past the curtains and ran straight into Amethyst’s arms.

“What in the world?” she mumbled. “Shie, what is it?” Yes, my performance name is Topaz, but Amethyst knows my real name. Odd I don’t know hers, isn’t it?

“He’s out there.”

“The man who attacked you?”

I nodded into her bosom.

“I’m going to teach you how to fight, so you won’t have to be afraid,” she said.

I agreed, but in truth, I don’t think it will help. How can I fight someone so much bigger than I am? Or…

I just thought of something. I dance all the time. I’m fast, and I’m strong. It takes me a half hour to break a sweat. I wonder how little time it takes him?

Stay Tuned!

nowherehouse — Sat, 09 Jul 2005 18:18:11 GMT

[walks down stage stairs into the audience]

Shie’s story will continue soon! I admit, part of the benefit of writing this type of live journal is that I can post installments as time permits. Lately, my time has been full!

I’ve been busy creating covers for Twisted Dreams Magazine, published by horror author Andrea Dean Van Scoyoc. You can take a look at both in my Renderosity gallery. Right now, I’m working on the cover for her next novel. Live in general has been busy, too!

Also, please drop by my blog and storefront and take a look at my books. Give me some hits. :-) Read the sample chapters. Buy some books! You’ll enjoy them greatly and you’ll help a struggling artist, which will give you good karma!

If I know Shie—and I know her better than anyone—she’ll have more to write soon.

[bow, flourish, vanish]

About "Nowhere House"

nowherehouse — Sat, 02 Jul 2005 23:26:55 GMT

The curtains open to find our author sitting on a stool, microphone in hand.

Hello again.

I noticed that some of you are still arriving, and you come with questions. I’ll answer the main one, at least.

This is a fictional live journal, recounting the adventures of Shie, an exotic dancer and escaped slave. Shie had grown up deep in shutu demon territory. As of yet, she has not revealed how she escaped, and came to be a dancer hundreds of miles away from where she grew up. We know that her life as a slave was horrible, but that she is having trouble adjusting to freedom and responsibilities.

Any entry that has my picture is an author commentary. Any entry that has a picture of Shie is part of the ongoing story, and is told in her voice. You see, our protagonist is keeping a journal of her own, and it is here that we can read it.

[clears his throat and picks up four books]

If you’re enjoying this story, please check out my books.

That’s all for now.

[bow]

The curtains close.

Sorting

nowherehouse — Wed, 29 Jun 2005 17:00:55 GMT

31 Summer 698

I saw Amethyst with a man today, and I was so jealous. Something confuses me though. Why was I jealous? I can’t seem to sort it out. Was it because she has a man? I certainly did not like it when he lifted her in a tight hug and kissed her.

I imagined myself kissing her instead.

In a strange way, I’m now thinking about living with the shutu in slavery. How could I have thought that life was better? Yes, here, I’ve been attacked, I’m jealous of a man, and I don’t yet know my place. Yet there, I could not even think about those things. I was too preoccupied with knowing my next dance had to be perfect, or I could expect a beating. My master protected me from being assaulted by other men, but if I did not perform to his satisfaction, he would have me whipped.

Sure, that was no problem for him. In a few days the salves the priests smeared on my back with their old, lecherous hands, would heal the wounds to nothing. No scars meant a more enticing naked dancer.

Every time, I wanted to get off that rack and whip the torture master.

I’m confused. I’m frightened of going outside. Still, I’m free.

I’m free.

A Hard Day

nowherehouse — Thu, 23 Jun 2005 17:04:21 GMT

29 Summer 698

Grenri says that such attacks are to be expected! He actually said that!

It was so hard for me to tell him. I had to pull him aside and shout it, out in the noisy bar. He’s busy most of the time, you see. No one looked over. Almost no one. I don’t know who heard, or if anyone even cares.

“Some men, you know, they get obsessed with dancers. They see you here, and they want more than what we give them in a show,” he said. I felt as though my insides were on fire.

He knows it’s wrong, and he at least admitted that. He has no power to protect any of us outside the tavern. I wonder how much power he has to protect us inside. His best advice was what I thought of anyway, not to go out alone.

I don’t want to go out at all. When I was a shutu slave, I was rarely allowed out. The world seemed so big when I escaped. Barath always told me that nowhere was life better for humans than under shutu care. Is it wrong that part of me agrees?

Amethyst overheard us. She said that she would go out with me, the next time I want to see the town. We talked for hours on my bed. I haven’t cried in a long time, but I cried today.

She put her arms around me and let me cry against her bosom. It helped, being close to her, smelling the sweet scent of her sweat and rose perfume. I dipped my hands into her wavy black hair, and she kissed my forehead. I wish she could have stayed longer, but she had a performance tonight. I watched her from the side of the stage, so graceful, so lean and lovely. I could learn from her.

I’ll try to sleep now. I wish Amethyst had come back to my room, to lie beside me.

The Price of Freedom?

nowherehouse — Mon, 20 Jun 2005 14:32:54 GMT

28 Summer 698

There is just one thing, only one damned thing, that being a slave had over this life. My master, Barath, kept men and demons alike off me. I may have had to dance for them in the absolute nude, but never did they touch me.

So, this morning when I went into town, I was ill prepared for the bastard who shoved me into an alley and began groping at me. I was fully dressed—believe me. He knew his way around a bodice though and had the top straps loosened in seconds.

I was lucky, that’s all I can say about it, because what do I know of fighting? I do know where a man is weak, so I kneed him there. He went down for just a second. Enough time for me to escape into the crowd.

Barath would never have let an assailant get that close to me. Shouldn’t Grenri have that kind of protection for us? Is this what freedom means?

I’m shaking as I write this, but I’m not going out alone again. I think that Amethyst knows some fighting moves. I overheard her say something like that. At least, I think so. Am I to tell anyone of this? It seems I should. What if they blame me? What if Grenri says that is to be expected when a girl dances?

There’s no way I can go back home now. To my old home, I mean. I’ve started thinking of this place as home. The shutu would surely have my skin for breakfast if I turned up there.

What can I do? All I can think of is to talk to some of the other dancers and hope they do not laugh.

I am Shie

nowherehouse — Fri, 17 Jun 2005 21:13:38 GMT

23 Summer 698

Alone! I have a chamber to myself here, though it is small. It has just enough room for my bed and to hang a few of my outfits. The window, too, is small, but lets in enough night air. The days have been hot! Still, there’s something about the theater that keeps it cool, even when filled with patrons.

It was surely full tonight! I stepped out on stage for my dance. I’m going under the name Topaz, just in case, and that’s just how Grenri the Grand—for so he is called due to his paunch of a belly and thick arms—announced me. Topaz the Curvy, Topaz the Lovely.

I thought the audience just might be able to see my pounding heart, like a torch, under my blue robe. I hesitated just as I stepped on stage, but it was my only hesitation.

I smelled pipe smoke, mutton, and mashed potatoes. I heard cheers and whistles. Those were all right. I did not smell that distinct scent the slavers put off, an odor that has no cause to be described when I talk about dancing. No slavers. There really were none out there.

That was wonderful. I took a full breath and was out on stage dancing. I performed one from years back, the one Lera and I used to call “Plea to the Lady.” This time, I ment it as thanks to Her.

I received more whistles, and soon I let the robe drop so that I wore a top just covering my breasts, and a playful bottom showing my hips but covering places more private. And I knew I would not be expected to take them off. Grenri said he had a reputation for running a classy performance tavern. He said dance nights were about form and beauty, not exploitation. Near the docks were several stripper houses, if that was where people wanted to go.

My old masters would have expected me to dance fully naked. Somehow, I had grown used to it. No, not just somehow. I had always lost myself in the dancing. The one blessing I had in their land was this. My master, Barath, had kept me safely guarded and never let anyone, human or shutu, take physical comfort with me. Many of my friends were not so lucky.

Tonight I danced, and the people—human people—loved me.

Scarves

nowherehouse — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 19:07:21 GMT

[sets up slide projector]

What do you mean, you can’t see the slides? Argh. Okay then. I’ll work on this. There’s so much art I would like to share with all of you.

[frowns at slide projector]

Tell you what. I’ll see what I can do about putting some illustrations in here with the journal entries.

Meanwhile, I hope you all like fantasy art. And anaglyphs, which are those 3D images that you look at with red/blue glasses. My anaglyphs look cool without the glasses, too, but you put the specs on and—Bam!—characters pop out of the screen, sink into the screen, take on that extra dimension that makes people go, “Oooo. Ahhhh.”

So here.

[tosses you a ticket]

This is your invitation to visit my gallery at Renderosity whenever you like.

Renderosity is at: http://www.renderosity.com/. Makes sense. My user name there is fiction2002, making the link for my gallery: http://www.renderosity.com/gallery.ez?ByArtist=Yes&Artist=fiction2002

Yes, many of my images are erotic or at least nude in nature. Ooo, nekkid people. Or eew, nekkid people, if you don’t like that sort of thing.

[shrugs]

You’ll need to sign up for a free account to see the galleries, but it’s so worth it. Renderosity showcases hundreds, maybe thousands, of wonderful artists.

I’ve created a 3D teaser image for the journal, which I plan to post to my Renderosity gallery later tonight. I may use a 2D version of the same image for a journal illustration. Again, I have to figure out the mechanics.

[tosses you another ticket, a red one]

That ticket is for Renderotica, at http://www.renderotica.com/. As you might guess, galleries there tend to be really, really erotic. Like Renderosity, Renderotica requires that you get a free membership.

Renderotica has heavy gallery filtering , so you can browse only the categories of images that interest you. If you’re under 18, just tear up that ticket or give it to an over 18 friend. In my Renderotica gallery, I post images that are, well, too erotic for Renderosity. My user name on ‘rotica is fiction2003.

[listens to a question from the audience]

Yes, I am working on the first "Nowhere House" fictional entry. Let me explain the conventions I will use in this journal. They're pretty basic.

When an entry has my picture and/or me coming out on stage to address you, that's an author commentary.

When an entry has a picture of my main character (who is very pretty, by the way), then that is the fictional part. Those entries will be written from the main character's point of view.

I considered creating a second journal, one for the story, one for author commentary, but I decided this made more sense. Besides, I'm keeping a live journal specifically about my creative and publishing projects at http://www.lulu.com/jonathanfesmire/. Two live journals are plenty for me to handle.

[takes out a bundle of colored scarves and starts juggling them]

Here's the "Nowhere House" journal, and the "Lulu" journal. This scarf is my day job. This one is my family. No, wait, several of these are family. This one is my art, this one my writing, plus I have these other scarves here. Well, you get the idea. Like you, I already have plenty to juggle. It's all right though, because I love all these scarves.

[bow]

Progress

nowherehouse — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 18:40:10 GMT

[strides onto stage]

[taps microphone]

Well, hello everyone.

I’ve been working on the background and setting for this fictional live journal. I’m happy to report that it’s taking shape!

This is definitely a new “Nowhere House.” I had fun with the story of Wade, and I don’t want to show disrespect to my previous characters, but I think this new story is one I’m more suited to tell. If there’s some way to announce that, “Hey! This story is R rated,” I’d better find it, because the very first entry starts off with the R rated-ness.

There are places on Taibril I have explored only in my mind, land masses separated from Edrydon by thousands of miles of sea and the limits of technology. (Again, Taibril is where my novels, “Tamshi’s Imp” and “Children of Rhatlan” take place. See http://www.lulu.com/jonathanfesmire/.) The new “Nowhere House” takes place on one of those continents, and I have to sort out place names, customs, and so on, before really launching into this narrative.

[takes a sip of ice water]

This stage thing is appropriate. I didn’t think of it when I did last night’s post, but it fits with the new “Nowhere House.” Pretty soon, you’ll all see why.

[toasts with glass]

(Hmm, was that really water, or some other clear, celebratory toasting drink?)

I’ll see you all onstage.

On Writing and Reincarnation

nowherehouse — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 18:40:51 GMT

[peek out from behind virtual door]

[duck back]

[gather courage]

[step out on stage]

Ahem. Hello, everyone.

Some of you may be wondering what in the world happened to the original “Journal from the Nowhere House.” To those of you who were enjoying the story, I apologize for ending it so abruptly. There is an explanation. I started “Journal from the Nowhere House” during a difficult time in my writing career. I was going in the direction of becoming a young adult author, but various business problems ended up discouraging me from writing at all for awhile. Douglas Adams might have called this “The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul.”

In fact, the “teatime” concept fits this pretty well. I needed time to clear my mind, to consider what writing means to me, and to understand what was causing me so much stress. I thought it was the writing itself. Nope. It was the nightmare of trying to get publishers to take a damned serious look at my books and realize that they were good, they were different, and that they should be published. Unfortunately, big publishers aren’t actually looking for original ideas and stories. At least, I don’t think they are. They want books that will sell, aka. books similar to the books they’re already publishing.

I realized that I do indeed enjoy writing itself. The question then was, do I want to struggle to break into print via large publishers, or do I want to have my books available for the world to enjoy on my own terms? The latter sounds pretty good, huh? It did to me, too.

My novels, “Tamshi’s Imp,” and “Children of Rhatlan,” are now for sale on Lulu, at: http://www.lulu.com/jonathanfesmire

For you who enjoy blogs (and face it, you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t), my Lulu blog is on that page as well! It’s there that I’ll talk more about my books and projects.

Okay, this brings us to the present, but it doesn’t fully explain the demise of “Journal from the Nowhere House.” In short, the day I went and deleted all the entries was the day I quit writing. The stress of trying to “make it” got to be too much. I went to that extended teatime, and it did my soul a lot of good. Fellow writers: Don’t believe the big publishers when they tell you they’re the only way to go.

Did I just step up on this soap box? I didn’t notice, silly me. I’ll step down.

[kicks soapbox off stage]

Now, on to the news:

I’m bringing the Nowhere House back.

I hope that most of you enjoy where this goes. It is not the same Nowhere House as before. This is not a resurrection, but a reincarnation. This will not be a young adult story. In places, I expect it to be very much adult. There will probably be entries that are author asides, among the entries written from the point of view of the protagonist.

The setting will be another world, called Taibril, the same world in which my books “Tamshi’s Imp” and “Children of Rhatlan” take place. I’m toying with the idea of having the story take place on a different continent though, in a different country from those books. Taibril is a world I created, know well, and love to visit. I hope you’ll love to visit it, too.

I hope I’m forgiven for ending the last incarnation of “Nowhere House.” Will you come along with me into this new story?