Penelope approaches Cynthia with a clipboard and a stack of computer printouts.

penelope kitten:  ahem… ahem…

Cynthia:  What’s up PK kitty cat cat cat?

Penelope takes a deep breath before she speaks.

penelope kitten (squeaking):  it has come to my attention that lately, Marcy Very Much is almost entirely … well … mostly … ahem … me, pk.

Cynthia (startled): Oh?

Penelope hands Cynthia her stack of computer printouts.

penelope kitten: plz see proof here … here … and here.

Cynthia (studying the papers): Oh!

penelope kitten:  plz also take a look at our IG and FB and our brand new Tik Tok account. also, our MVM homepage.

Cynthia:  Ohhhhhh…

penelope kitten:  yeah yeah so you see, Marcy Very Much has morphed into mostly me … penelope.

Cynthia: It really has, hasn’t it?! The whole site is mostly covered in illustrations of you. Black cats abound.

penelope kitten:  ahem … in light of these developments may I suggest … ahem … that we rebrand as “mostly me, by penelope.”

Marcy (yelling from the rainbow bridge):  Over my dead body!

penelope kitten (squeak yelling back): you are dead, marcy very much!

Marcy:  It’s MY blog!

penelope kitten:  why are you still sitting on the rainbow, anyway? shouldn’t you have crossed over by now?

Marcy steals a glance over the bridge.

Marcy:  Eh. It’s all sunny skies and green grass and … (shuddering) … bunnies. Makes me nauseated. Plus, Saint Peter likes to go on vacay and leave me in charge.

penelope kitten (suspiciously):  Saint Peter has been on vacay for a very long time.

Marcy: So?

penelope kitten:  so I’m going to talk to HR. And maybe the LAPD.

Penelope stalks off to file her complaints.

Cynthia stands in the middle of the apartment, blinking and immobile. She’s not entirely sure what she just witnessed.

Marcy Very Much rebranding saga … TO BE CONTINUED…

=^..^=

PK’s Newest Novel!

In a coast-to-coast race against time,

Penelope Kitten can’t stop, won’t stop…

except for snacks, of course.

When Penelope gets invited to squeak speak at the black cat Cross Your Path Convention, she’s positively pumped. Then she discovers that the heinous Hubert Hedgehog plans to crash the party and destroy everything with his hedgehog fund.

In this not-so-tall tale of fur, fins, flippers, and feathers, Penelope must race from Los Angeles to Salem, Massachusetts to stop Hubert, but since she can’t fly, she goes the long way, and sometimes the wrong way. Yet along the way she befriends all kinds of critters, from crazy condors to gung-ho gators to daffy dolphins.

Penelope Kitten’s Epic Adventure (with cheese) is the adventure of a lifetime.

Make that nine lifetimes.