Maswayo

Foreground and Background, a perspective to landscapes

2019-08-06T19:58:00.000+07:00

Foreground and Background, a perspective to landscapes

You can tell that a person is tall, short, fat or thin; but you can make that appearance stand out when you place two contrasts together. A tall and thin persons next to each other would intensify both their lengths.

Contrast is important in a still to show what exactly is within. Its just that frame and it has to sound loud to attract and make us gaze for some time :)

Using a tripod, controlling shutter and/or using some filters etc ... are not covered in this article.

You're in some distant trail hiking and wish to take significant landscape shots.

So where am I:

- (foreground) You may need a tree, trees, a house, a cottage, animals, a trail and/or people hiking on that trail etc ...

- ( background) of mountains, desert and/or mist, rivers, clouds, cityscape, island(s) etc ...

SO in this perspective of things, what's close (foreground) would appear as intended and (background) would appear as such as well. One that is close and the latter that is far.

What has the photo(grapher) provided:

- A starting point, some detail of the lands being photographed in terms of flora, animal life and/or residence etc ...

- A surrounding for that area that you have already seen a glimpse of its terrain contents.

How is it technically achievable:

- Camera: a DX/FX Dslr or mirrorless cams are preferablea smaller sensor camera would not be able to provide good detail in comparison to the latter mentioneda medium format camera is the best choice for detail but at a relatively higher cost

- Lens(es): a wide angle zoom or a wide prime , though i'd prefer a wide zoom for more flexibility in taking exact frame where you stand if moving around was not an easy option. Wide angle lenses provide a great depth of field and when aperture is stopped down say at f11, you may have both the foreground and background is focus (That depends on how much close is the foreground content; the closer that is the more stopping down would be needed)

- Try not to have the foreground content in the center, nor far at the corners ... follow the rule of thirds and you'll be safe in terms of overall composition, yet that is color/contrast and content/concept dependent (as shown below)

- (aside from the topic) its better to use a gradual filter, dark for the sky where highlight is more pronounced and light area of the filter on the ground/below. But that is dependent on the frame context and concept as well.

Hope that those words are of benefit :)

Photo credits: Khunaspix, Martin Molcan, Minnystock.

The Three Pillars of Stock Photography

2019-08-06T19:53:00.000+07:00

A constant occurrence in the forums is seeing contributors who ask the question of why they are not getting sales. They want people to look at their images and tell them what's wrong. People oblige and say the photographs are great, you're a great photographer, and everyone scratches their heads over the lack of sales. Someone might suggest improving the keywording but in the end, everyone fails to see that stock photography rests on three fundamental foundations.

So what are the Three Pillars of Stock Photography?

You should have already guessed the first: Well executed photography. Images with poor composition, poor lighting, lacking pop, they are just not going to sell well. Buyers want images that will grab your eye and keep your focus. Advertising, web pages, books and printed material, the most basic strategy is to get your attention. People do judge books by their cover. People will leave a web page if it's not interesting to look at.

Still, electronic and print media are commercial based and after getting your attention, they will try to sell you something. Even if it's free information, the visual graphics and imagery need to convey the points the media is trying to provide.

That's the second Pillar: CONCEPTS.

Pretty pictures, even if they are stunning, generally don't sell if they are generic scenes and subjects. Many contributors tend to walk around the area they live and shoot landscapes, city scenes, and the various other sites around their immediate home region. The thing is, despite vast contrasts between cultures and countries, the world can still be very much the same wherever you go. Mountains are mountains, sunsets are sunsets, office buildings are office buildings.

Stock photography is primarily driven by COMMERCIAL needs. School, work, parenting, business, house hunting, food, coin collecting, etc., these are but a handful of thousands of topics that buyers seek images for.

Many beginning contributors will look at the database and photograph paper, pencil, and a calculator because they recognize it as a specific concept and it's easy to do. Unfortunately, it's an over-done concept but kudos to those contributors who recognize that one of the keys to getting sales is CONCEPTS.

OK, you're wondering what the third Pillar of Stock Photography is: That will be COMPETITION.

We just mentioned the paper/pencil/calculator idea. Look at how many people have done that already. You can photograph the idea in a new, refreshing way that is outstanding beyond all others but it's a very common image in the database. It's going to be tough for buyers to find your image to begin with.

I remember a few years ago a contributor lamenting over her image of a stone church being rejected. She said she did her homework and was confident that her image of this particular church would have been the only picture in the database of that one church. The lady lived in the United Kingdom. Trust me, the UK is full of old, stone churches along with the rest of Europe. You can go literally insane if your goal was to photograph all of them. the point is, the database doesn't need another picture of an old stone church in Europe.

The lady couldn't grasp the notion of "competition." She was convinced there was no competition for this one, single church. Technically, she was correct. But it still was not a unique image.

Knowing the Three Pillars of Stock Photography is a step toward understanding the industry and getting sales. Yet it's still easier said than done. Every image you submit would be an "Editor's Choice" if you could accomplish this with every picture you uploaded. Impossible to do! The majority of your uploads will be secondary images but you still have control over how you spend your time. You can continue walking around town and photographing office buildings and stone churches or you can try new ideas. Sit down and plan for an afternoon of shooting specific concepts. Can you go beyond paper/pencil/calculator?

If you try to give buyers what you they're looking for, or at least what you THINK they're looking for, you will find more sales. Remember the Three Pillars and greater success will come your way.

If you enjoyed this blog, I hope you will enjoy reading the other blogs I've written. Thanks!

Photo credits: Wisconsinart

by Wisconsinart

3 SEO REASONS TO HAVE A BUSINESS BLOG

2019-08-06T19:48:00.000+07:00

3 SEO REASONS TO HAVE A BUSINESS BLOG

Written by Nick Stamoulis

There are many benefits of operating a business blog and updating it with quality content on a regular basis. Writing, publishing, and sharing blog post content is a great way to share expertise and insights about the industry in addition to sharing company updates and news. Over time, a blog can become a sort of community and can help a business establish and maintain relationships with target audience members and other stakeholders. These benefits should be enough to convince a business to operate a blog, but from our perspective what’s equally as important are the SEO reasons to have a business blog:

TO TARGET KEYWORDS AND RANK IN SEARCH RESULTS

Every single page of content that’s on a website is another opportunity to rank for targeted keywords, and that includes blog posts. If you have an SEO-focused blogging strategy, you’ll be naturally targeting keywords that target audience members are searching for. More specifically, blog posts provide a great opportunity to target long-tail keywords or conversational keywords, like questions. Spend some time brainstorming questions that people are searching for (whether they’re typing in the question or using voice search). Every question can essentially be the title of the blog post and then the purpose of the post is to answer that question. If your content is great and you answer the question well, you can rank for that question and drive traffic to your blog and website.

TO EARN INBOUND LINKS

Along with having great, optimized content, the number of inbound links pointing to a website is also a top search engine ranking factor. Link building has shifted to “link earning” or naturally earning inbound links by creating great content that other website owners will want to link to. If you take the time to write great content that includes some new research or information or a different way of showcasing data (such as an infographic), it’s a great way to be cited as an online resource and earn an inbound link from relevant sources across the web.

TO KEEP THE WEBSITE “FRESH”

The search engines like to see (and favor) websites that are regularly updated. It proves that there’s someone on the other end and it’s not one of the many websites out there that has essentially been abandoned by its owners. Every new blog post that’s added to the website updates the website and is a reason for the search spiders to come back and crawl and index it again.

The marketing reasons alone (create a community, become a trusted resource) should be enough incentive to operate a business blog and keep it current. But if you want to increase organic search engine traffic to your website over time, blogging is critical. An evergreen blog post can continue to drive target audience members to a website for many years.

source:

Starting a Home Business Using the Internet

2011-01-28T07:42:00.000+07:00

Starting a home business I not an easy task and to make things harder there are so many myths attached to starting a home business that it can become quite confusing. Some people get an idea in their head and just take off. Starting a business for them is easy. The majority of people, however, end up having the desire to start a home business before the actual business idea comes to them. Once they begin thinking about actually starting a home based business they are overcome with many myths that make it seem next to impossible to succeed.

One of the biggest myths about starting a home business is associated with the internet. The internet has opened many doors to home business owners, but at the same time the complexity of the internet has caused many to give up and abandon hope that they can ever get a business to be successful. Many people believe that the internet is a vast marketplace that is too he to compete in. That is simply not true. There are many small home businesses that are doing great on the internet. It is all a matter of knowing how to run a business website. A person has to understand about marketing and setting up a website. Once they've established their online presence they can make great money.

Another internet related myth about starting a home business is that there is no help available for the business owner. Anyone who has went to a search engine and typed in business will now this is not true. There are online networks of websites that are all aimed at helping people succeed in internet business. These people offer free information and plenty of support. A person can find answers to almost any question they have and even talk to others who have started their own business. The internet business environment is one of helping others.

One myth that may hold some truth is that marketing online is impossible. While it is, obviously, not impossible it can be difficult for the beginner. Starting a home business online requires plenty of research into internet marketing. The marketing tools used online are very different from those used in the traditional environment. A person has to understand how to drive traffic to their website and how to catch the attention of their target market. As mentioned above, there are plenty of resources available to help a person get their marketing plan in order.

These myths about starting a business all make it look impossible to tap into the internet marketplace. These myths are quite untrue and should be ignored. It does take hard work and dedication to start any business, but using the internet just opens up a business to a huge marketplace and offers additional opportunities that a traditional, offline business does not have. It is worth it for every business owner to look into the internet when starting a home business.

Source: http://www.articlecircle.com/ - Free Articles Directory

About the Author
Dustin Cannon is owner of http://www.NicheArticleClub.com and writes on a variety of subjects related to home business. To learn more about home business Dustin recommends that you visit: http://www.home-business.com

Google Places Optimization Tips Get Your Local Business Listing On First Page Of Google

2011-01-28T07:31:00.000+07:00

By Sam Hopkins

Do you have your business appearing on the first page of Google?

If you are a small business owner I am sure you have heard about Google Places - Google's free business listing service. And if you haven't do a search for Google Places and fill in the form and then come back here to get tips ho how to get more bang from your free Google Places business listing.

Back in 2009 Google relaunched it's Business Centre to Google places, which allows local business owners to create a profile of their business, including phone number, address, website, pictures, videos, trading hours, etc and also mark your business location on the Google Maps service.

Creating a Google Places listing is a great way to get your business (even if you don't have a website) to appear on the first page of Google search results when someone performs a local search.

A Google Places listing is very easy and straight forward to set up, however what I want to do in this article is get you a few extra tips that will help you get more leverage from your Google Places listing.

1. Customers Reviews - The more reviews you have on your business listing the better it will perform. First it provides social proof to your customers or potential customers also it will help to keep your listing near the top.

A good way to do this is to send an email to your new customers asking them to leave a review; this can be done on complete autopilot with an autoresponder or email management service.

Include a link in your email signature inviting existing customers to leave comments, ask people on your Facebook page, and when people enter your shop/store.

2. Other Business Listings - Google scrap information from other business directories to verify phone numbers, address, etc are the same and also places these listings in your Google Places profile. Make sure all the other business listings you create in other directories are consistent.

3. Keywords - This is a very important factor when creating your business listing. If you have a house painting business in Parramatta, Sydney you would want to target keywords like "house painting" "interior house painter" "exterior house painter" "residential painter", etc.

Do not try and trick Google by placing loads of keywords into your company name. For example if you have a house painting business called ABC"s Painting Service then you may want to list your company name as ABC"s House Painting Service.

This way you can get 2 of the keywords you are targeting "House Painting" instead of just "Painting" however if you try and stuff keywords into your company name for example: "House and Commercial Painter, Interior & Exterior ABC Painting Company" just to get more keywords, it may work in the short term but Google quickly picks up on this and it will work against you.
If you would like to learn more advanced tips and methods to get more bang from your Google Places Business Listing them make sure to pick up your FREE copy of Google Place Optimization Guide as a bonus you will also get a FREE copy of Facebook Marketing for Small Business.

Sam Hopkins helps local small business owners use the internet to increase leads and sales while lowering marketing costs.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sam_Hopkins

Small Business Marketing Ideas and Tips

2011-01-28T07:28:00.000+07:00

Small Business Marketing Ideas and Tips
By Rodrigo Olivares

It seems that more and more people these days are starting, or thinking about starting a business. This is certainly not an unexpected situation considering the current recession we find ourselves in (compliments of the government) which has brought massive amounts of layoffs and unemployment.

The act of marketing, advertising, or promoting your small business in any way shape or form, will be (in my opinion) the most challenging task you will have to deal with, not to mention that it can also be very costly in both time and money. So I decided to give you a few tips to get your brain going and maybe spark some new ways of marketing yourself and your biz.

Starting a business

You've heard it all before right?...you need some business cards, a website, maybe some home made flyers, and maybe some form of paid advertising.

All the above are correct, but it's the approach and time you dedicate to each one of these that's going to make the difference.

Let's take the classic way of promoting your business: the invincible business card. If you really want to make a good impression, you must carry around a full color front and back high gloss business card, these are so cheap to make these days that it's well worth it. Make sure that you have a professional designer lay it out for you... the high gloss front and back card is not worth anything without a clean professional design.

Now if you want to take this to the next level of sophistication (and save the earth), then make sure you save a digital format on your cell phone so you can easily text it or email it to a potential client right on the spot. As a business owner I am assuming that you have a smart phone such as a blackberry or an iPhone which will allow you to text images and email as well. Be sure that you have a digital image of your business card, don't just take a photo of your card with your phone, that's not going to give you the right quality. That would be like printing your own business cards at home with the design that your cousin made for you!

Next up, texting. You need to make sure that you establish a way to effectively collect phone numbers from your customers and ask them if they would like to receive occasional text messages from you (your business). If you have an iPhone like me, then you can easily download an app that will allow you to group your customers for massive texting.

Email marketing... yeah, this is still big, and gives you yet another way to "stay in touch" with your existing or even potential customers. I had a customer the other day tell me that some of her old customers that receive her newsletter were calling again to request quotes! now isn't that something.

Put something on your car but make it professional. Car wrapping can be pretty costly, but you can always get some bumper stickers made with your logo, maybe a tag line or mission statement. You can also get some car magnets at a very affordable price, just make sure you do them the right way. Don't try to squeeze 200 words in there! just place relevant to the point information, such as your website, phone number and what you do, for example "Web & Graphic Design Services" or "Painting Contractors". For a regular size car, you will probably need a 24" x 12" magnet, or you may even be able to fit a 24" x 18"

Ah yes... your website (I love this one!). You and I know that any business now a days "will not" survive for too long unless they have a website, it's absolutely vital. This of course will require an entire new post which I will probably work on in the next few days, but for now I can tell you two things: you can either use and pay for one of those do-it-yourself services or you can hire an affordable web & graphic design company. Like anything else, there are pros and cons to both of these initiatives but we'll get into that later.

The important thing to remember is that you want to be in touch with your customers as much as you can and as often as possible... just don't take this advice to the extreme and text them or email them all day long!!

Advice: If you are planning on starting your own business, marketing is one of the things that you will have to spend a lot of time on, word of advice, don't neglect this task... ever.
Rod is the owner of iLean Solutions a web design and online marketing company in Maryland.

iLean Solutions delivers powerful website design, but we don't stop there. We want to make sure that your business is a complete success with a total internet integration plan. What good is the coolest website ever if nobody stops by to view it?

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rodrigo_Olivares

Twitter Marketing Tips

2011-01-28T07:26:00.000+07:00

Twitter Marketing Tips
By Veronica Yager

Twitter is a fast growing social networking tool and a microblogging service. Twitter enables you to send tiny little blurbs about anything, using no more than 140 characters. You can send out a blurt (aka tweet) about your day, what you are eating, or a new book your reading. Anything you can think of, you can pretty much say. Twitter can be a great self-promotion tool, if used wisely.

When marketing yourself or your business online, Twitter would be a great addition to your marketing arsenal. With over 105 million Twitter users, and 300,000 users signing up with Twitter daily, Twitter is a must for marketers. I have outlined some core tips for how to market with Twitter. These tips are not limited to the categories below, but they will get your brain thinking about other ways that Twitter can help you market yourself, your service or product:

Retailers, Ecommerce Stores: Tweet your sales and deals. Offering coupons? Tweet them! Here is an example of a tweet, "@ABC Retail Store: 20% off any one item at our store throughout the weekend. Hurry and grab the latest Nike apparel, or Gucci handbags! 50% off all clearance!"

Blog? Tweet a link to your latest blog posts for more exposure. You are sure to attract new readers! Use an URL shortener to fit your long URLs in without exceeding your character limits. Make sure to mix in tweets about you personally if you are marketing yourself in the blog, and not necessarily a product or business. I am not talking about giving out your SSN and Drivers license! I am talking about tweeting about your day, and events throughout your week. Tweet about your likes and dislikes, or about the latest book you are reading.

Business Opportunity Website: Tweet about your opportunity, i.e. "@SuccessWithJaneDoe: Where will you be 6 months from now? Stuck in a financial rut? Join my team and be on your way to success! [link to site]" If you create a special report on say, "Success through Attraction Marketing Online" tweet a link to it! You would want to house it on your site, and have them download it there to get them on your site, rather than having them just go straight to a download.

Keep one thing in mind, don't make it all about business! Your followers will soon tire of your promotional tweets. Focus on at least 20% of your tweets being personal. People want to get to know you to be able to trust you. Heck, you can tweet about how you just ate the best PB&J sandwich ever! Share ideas, ask questions of your followers, share interesting resources! Have fun with Twitter. Also be sure to put your website or blog link on your profile page.
Like the idea of marketing with Twitter, but still want more ways to drive traffic to your blog? Download my special report at my blog on online marketing. Happy marketing!

Veronica Yager, an Internet Marketer and Online Business Mentor, teaches her team members how to use the power of the Internet and become a top income earner online. To learn more about Veronica Yager and to join her team, visit Veronica Yager's website at http://www.AchieveFastWealth.com now!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Veronica_Yager

Sales Presentation Tips

2011-01-28T07:22:00.000+07:00

Sales Presentation Tips
By Christian Underhill

As a sales person the bulk of your working day is spent interacting with customers and giving sales presentations.

Each product has its own features, benefits, and of course background information. Each customer has their own questions, concerns, needs, wants, and of course personality type. As you begin a sales presentation with a customer all of those factors and more come into play.

Despite this variation, there are some areas of common ground that can be applied to most scenarios. If you bear these following points in consideration, you will have a firm foundation for your presentations. Always get your customer to use as many senses as is possible.

All products are of course different, but most can be used to stimulate a customers senses in one way or another. The aim is to dominate their senses with the product.

Touch.

Encourage your customer to handle the product. Let them experience the product in a tangible way. Hold the product, press buttons, try it on, feel the weight in comparison to another product.

Handling the product lets the customer experience the features and benefits of the product rather than just see them or hear about them from you.

Handling creates "ownership".

Whatever you can do to get the customer to experience the product using their touch sense.

Sight.

Let the customer look at the product.

Excite their sight sense by tilting the product to make it shine or sparkle. Model it for them to show them how it looks. Compare side by side with another product to show how good it looks.

Do what ever it takes to make the product dominate the customers eyesight and keep them from getting distracted by anything else.

Hearing.

Talk to the customer, explain features and benefits.

Back every feature with as many benefits as you can.

As you do so, excite the other senses as mentioned above and focus all of the customers attention on you and the product.

If the product has sound, or clicks, or beeps, anything to dominate the hearing sense.

Know when to talk and when to listen.

After stating your case for the product let your customer have chance to mention any concerns or reservations that may prevent a purchase so you can counter them as soon as possible to reduce the chance of the customer leaving without purchasing.

If you use the senses backed by solid features and benefits, then address any concerns or questions, you are in the best position to ask for the sale.
If you wish to learn more please read my page on about improving your sales skills.

Christian Underhill is an experienced professional sales representative in the luxury products market in Las Vegas. Read my page on how to have a successful sales career.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Christian_Underhill

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2010-08-15T11:42:00.000+07:00

Turn Your Blog Into a Money Maker

2010-08-13T17:58:00.002+07:00

Turn Your Blog Into A Money Maker

Do you have a blog? Your blog can be turn into a money maker and generate enough money for you to quit your job. Blogging full-time is no longer a
wishful though nor its a privilege for the rich and famous to cash in on their fame. Any body can become a blogger, everyone have something to say.
Starting a blog is not hard. Just ask yourself What are passionate about?, What keeps you talking for hours?, What do you friends and family
comes to you fro advice?.
Once you identified your niche its time to get started. You can start blogging on free platform like Blogger or Wordpress or paid hosts. Once you set up
your blog and establish 10 to 20 post. When writing articles for your blog, use keywords. What are keywords? Keywords are search terms that you
type into a search engines such as Google to look for a desired result.
You want your blog to be found easy found on search engines. Once you have been contributing regularly to your blog, it's time to get more traffic to
your blog. For ideas on generating topics to your blog, read this article on My blog What are the best ways to drive traffic to a blog? When you get a
steady stream of traffic and a loyal group of readers, you need to monetize your blog with Money Makers You may be familiar with Adsense and know
that you can place adsense on your blog to make money but their other better program then Adsense. I use a great variety of program to generate a
wide source of income. I do not put all my eggs in 1 basket in case I dropped the basket.
Finally, making money requires you to put in effort to build a blog thats benefits the web community. A good blog attracts lots of loyal readers and this
translate to more cash. Remember the only reason people fail is that they quit.

Source: http://www.articlecircle.com

About the Author
Bob is a Internet Technology Consultant. He specialize in creating online present with advance web technologies. His blog is located at
wizcodersolution.com

Love Jokes 1

2010-08-11T05:35:00.002+07:00

☻YOUR SMILE
Never frown, even when
you are sad, because you
never know who is falling
in love with your smile.

☻ WHO YOU ARE
I love you not because of
who you are, but because
of who I am when I am
with you.

☻ I'M STILL ALIVE...
TaLk 2 me wHen i'm
boReD, kiSS me wHen i'm
saD, hug me wHen i cRy,
caRe 4 me wHen i diE,
loVe me When i'm sTill
Alive...

☻ IN LOVE WITH YOU
It is not being in love
that makes me happy...
but is being in love with
YOU that makes me
happy.

☻ TRULY LOVE
It’s hard to find someone
whom you truly love,
much less to find
someone who loves you
as much. When the
chance comes, don't ever
let go.

☻ CHER|SH...
Cherish the person you
love, never tell lies or
attempt to hurt them
because you won't know
how important they are
until they are out of your
life...

☻POEM OR RHYME?
Who cares whether this
is a poem or rhyme, I will
love you until the end of
time...

☻ 2NITE WITH ME
A sMiLe tO pUt You On
HiGh... A KisS To Set
YoUr SouL ALriGhT...
WouLd iT bE aLriGhT iF I
spEnT ToNiTe BeiNg
LovED bY YoU???

☻LOVE YOU
Never WasTe an
OppOrtuniTy 2 sAy 'I
LoVe U' to Someone u
ReaLLy Like, Coz it is noT
EvEryDaY u'll mEEt tHe
PerSoN WhO hAs tHe
MaGic 2 lEt u fAll iN
love...

☻ TRUE LOVE
True love is like ghosts,
which everybody talks
about and few have seen.

☻ FRIENDS 4 LIFE
Without humor, life sux.
Without courage, life is
hard. Without love, life is
hopeless. Without friends
like you, life is
impossible!

Plakat

2010-08-10T06:28:00.001+07:00

I luv Rossi

2010-08-08T17:54:00.001+07:00

In the front Yard of a Funeral Home

2010-07-29T20:58:00.002+07:00

In the front yard
of a funeral home,
"Drive carefully, we'll wait."
In a nonsmoking area, "If we see
you smoking, we will assume you
are on fire and take appropriate
action."
On a maternity room door, "Push,
Push, Push."
On a front door, "Everyone on the
premises is a vegetarian except the
dog."
At an optometrist's office, "If you
don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place."
On a taxidermist's window, "We
really know our stuff."
On a butcher's window, "Let me
meat your needs."
On a fence, "Salesmen welcome.
Dog food is expensive."
At a car dealership, "The best way
to get back on your feet -- miss a
car payment."
Outside a muffler shop, "No
appointment necessary. We'll hear
you coming."
On a desk in a reception room, "We
shoot every 3rd salesman, and the
2nd one just left."
In a veterinarian's waiting room, "Be
back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
In a Beauty Shop, "Dye now!"
On the side of a garbage truck,
"We've got what it takes to take
what you've got." (Burglars please
copy.)
In a restaurant window, "Don't
stand there and be hungry, come in
and get fed up."
Inside a bowling alley, "Please be
quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."
In a cafeteria, "Shoes are required to
eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat
any place they want."

In the front yard
of a funeral home

In PRISON

2010-07-29T20:55:00.003+07:00

In Prison

In prison you spend the majority of
your time in an 8'x10 cell. At work
you spend most of your time in a
6'x8'cubicle.

In prison you get three meals a day.
At work you only get a break for
one meal and you have to pay for it.

In prison you get time off for good
behavior. At work you get
rewarded for good behavior with
more work.

In prison a guard locks and unlocks
all the doors for you. At work you
must carry around a security card
and unlock and open all the doors
yourself.

In prison you can watch TV and
play games. At work you get fired
for watching TV and playing games.

In prison they allow your family and
friends to visit. At work you cannot
even speak to your family and
friends.

In prison all expenses are paid by
taxpayers with no work required. At
work you get to pay all the
expenses to go to work and then
they deduct taxes from your salary
to pay for prisoners.

In prison you spend most of your
life looking through the bars from
the inside wanting to get out. At
work you spend your time wanting
to get out and inside bars.

In prison you can join many
programs which you can leave at
any time. At work there are some
programs you can never get out of.
In prison there are wardens who
are often sadistic. At work we have
managers.

Employee performanceevaluations:

2010-07-29T20:53:00.001+07:00

Employee performance
evaluations:

The following quotes are reported to
have been taken from actual Federal
(U.S.) employee performance
evaluations:

- "He sets low personal standards
and then consistently fails to achieve
them."

- "This employee is depriving a
village somewhere of an idiot."

- "He would argue with a signpost."

- "A prime candidate for natural de-
selection."

- "Some drink from the fountain of
knowledge; he only gargled."

- "Takes him two hours to watch 60
minutes."

Source: AjokeAday.com

Funny Bumper Stickers:

2010-07-29T20:50:00.001+07:00

Funny Bumper Stickers:

· Your kid may be an honors
student, but you're still an idiot.

· We have enough youth, how
about a fountain of Smart?

· He who laughs last thinks slowest.

· Lottery: A tax on people who are
bad at math.

· It IS as bad as you think, and they
ARE out to get you.

· Auntie Em, hate you, hate Kansas,
taking the dog. Dorothy.

· Time is what keeps everything
from happening at once.

· I get enough exercise just pushing
my luck.

· Montana -- At least our cows are
sane!

· Reality is a crutch for people who
can't handle drugs.

· Where there's a will, I want to be in
it.

Source: AjokeAday.com

Fun Things To Do In An Elevator

2010-07-29T19:15:00.000+07:00

Fun Things To Do In An Elevator:

1. Crack open your briefcase or
purse, and while peering inside ask:
"Got enough air in there?"

2. Grimace painfully while smacking
your forehead and muttering: "Shut
up, all of you just shut UP!"

3. Whistle the first seven notes of
"It's a Small World" incessantly.

4. Sell Girl Scout cookies.

5. On a long ride, sway side to side
at the natural frequency of the
elevator.

6. Greet everyone getting on the
elevator with a warm handshake
and ask them to call you Admiral

7. When at least 8 people have
boarded, moan from the back: "Oh,
not now, motion sickness!"

8. Meow occasionally.

9. Wear a puppet on your hand and
talk to other passengers "through"
it.

10. Draw a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the
other passengers that this is your
"personal space."

Source: AjokeAday.com

Notice to Employees (Includes PartTime Workers)

2010-07-29T19:12:00.003+07:00

Notice to Employees (Includes Part
Time Workers)

SICKNESS

We will no longer accept your
doctors' statements as proof.
We believe if you are able to go to
the doctor, you are able to work.

LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR SURGERY

We are no longer allowing this
practice. As long as you are
employed here, you will need all of
whatever you have and should not
consider having anything removed.
We hired you as you are, and to
have anything removed would
certainly make you less than we
bargained for. Anyone having
operations will be FIRED
immediately.

PREGNANCY

In the event of extreme pregnancy,
you will be allowed to go to the first
aid room when the pains are FIVE
MINUTES apart. If it is false labor,
you will have to take an hour's leave
without pay.

DEATH

This will be accepted as an excuse,
BUT we would like two weeks
notice, as we feel it is your duty to
teach someone your job prior
to . . . or after death.

This new benefit program started
yesterday.
The Management

Source: AjokeAday.com

How To Get a Cell Phone Caller 's Name and Address

2010-07-29T07:25:00.002+07:00

How To Get a Cell
Phone Caller's Name and
Address

(Fri Jul 23rd, 2010, by Josie
McEachern)

Are you searching for the best and
quickest way to get the name and
address of a particular unknown
wireless number? If you have done
any searching on this kind of thing,
you may be fully aware by now
that this information is not easily
obtained without a price being
attached to the results.
And you may wonder why that is.
It's because wireless numbers are
not classified in the same manner as
landline numbers. Landline
numbers are a matter of public
information. This means that
personal information connected to
these numbers is freely obtained.
Wireless numbers, on the other
hand, are not a matter of public
information. They are privately
owned by the wireless carrier that
owns and services the number.
So if you want to find a name,
address, past addresses, family
member names, age, occupational
status, and a long list of other
personal details connected to an
unknown cell phone number, you
are going to have to access this
information from a reverse cell
phone lookup directory that
purchases this information directly
from the wireless carriers.
So, the next question becomes:
how do you select a good directory
to work with.
Here is what to look for in a good
reverse cell phone directory:

1. Provides information for over 200
million wireless numbers. (This is
over 90% of the wireless numbers
in the whole country.)

2. Continually updates its database.
(This is paramount when doing a
cell phone trace because mobile
numbers change hands frequently)

3. Allows searches of VoIP, fax,
listed landline, and unlisted numbers
in addition to cell phone numbers.

4. Allows free and confidential
searches of its database.

5. Operates a secure web site. This
is another highly important factor.
You need to make sure your
personal information is protected
against identity theft. Look for the
VeriSign and MacAfee verifications.

6. Backs each results report with a
full money back guarantee.

7. Does not demand that you
disclose your personal information
in exchange for results.

8. Offers searchers the option to
have the personal information
connected with their wireless
numbers to be removed from the
directory's database.
Any reliable directory will display all
of these characteristics. So, next
time you need to perform a cell
phone trace, just keep in mind these
simple tips. You may just find a
great resource that you will access
again and again for years to come.

About the Author:
For a fast, easy, and accurate way
to do a Reverse Cell Phone Lookup,
all you have to do is visit this site to
Catch a Cheating Boyfriend with a
cell phone search.

60 above

2010-07-29T07:14:00.002+07:00

60 above - Floridians wear coats,
gloves, and wooly hats.
Chicago people sunbathe.

50 above - New Yorkers try to turn
on the heat.
Chicago people plant gardens.

40 above - Italian cars won't start.
Chicago people drive with the
windows down.

32 above - Distilled water freezes.
Lake Michigan's water gets thicker.

20 above - Californians shiver
uncontrollably.
Chicago people have the last
cookout before it gets cold.
15 above - New York landlords
finally turn up the heat.
Chicago people throw on a
sweatshirt.

0 degrees - Californians fly away to
Mexico.
Chicago people lick the flagpole and
throw on a light jacket over the
sweatshirt.

20 below - People in Miami cease to
exist.
Chicago people get out their winter
coats.

40 below - Hollywood disintegrates.
Chicago's Girl Scouts begin selling
cookies door to door.

60 below - Polar bears begin to
evacuate Antarctica.
Chicago's Boy Scouts postpone
"Winter Survival" classes until it gets
cold enough.

80 below - Mount St. Helen's
freezes.
Chicago people rent some videos.

100 below - Santa Claus abandons
the North Pole.
Chicago people get frustrated when
they can't thaw the keg.

297 below - Microbial life survives
on dairy products.
Illinois cows complain of farmers
with cold hands.

460 below - ALL atomic motion
stops.
Chicago people start saying. . ."Cold
'nuff for ya??"

500 below - Hell freezes over.
The Chicago Cubs win the World
Series.

Gemma Piscotti -
Chicago - IL - USA.

HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AND DRIVE OTHER PEOPLE INSANE

2010-07-29T07:06:00.000+07:00

HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL
OF INSANITY AND DRIVE OTHER
PEOPLE INSANE

Submitted by Jonalee Echols from
Bullard Texas.

1. Page yourself over the intercom.
Don't disguise your voice.
2. Find out where your boss shops
and buy exactly the same outfits.
Always wear them one day after
your boss does. This is especially
effective if your boss is the opposite
gender.
3. Put mosquito netting around
your cubicle.
4. Every time someone asks you to
do something, ask if they want fries
with that.
5. Put your garbage can on your
desk and label it "IN."
6. When driving colleagues around,
insist on keeping your car's
windshield wipers running during all
weather conditions to keep 'em
tuned up.
7. Reply to everything someone
says with, "That's what you think."
8. Highlight irrelevant information in
scientific papers, then cc them to
your boss.
9. Finish all your sentences with "in
accordance with the prophecy."
10. At lunchtime, sit in your parked
car and point a hair dryer at passing
cars to see if they slow down.
11. Specify that your drive-thru
order is "to go."
12. Go to a poetry recital and ask
why the poems don't rhyme.

Writing Tips to Increase Website Traffic

2010-07-28T09:07:00.001+07:00

Writing Tips to Increase Website Traffic

By: John Michaels

If you're not doing so already, you may want to consider writing articles about your website's topic. Writing copyright free articles is a great way to:

Establish your credibility and build your reputation and brand
Establish yourself as an expert in your field
Increase your exposure on the internet
Gain laser targeted traffic to your website
Increase the number of one way links to your website, which should help your website in the search results.

Writing articles about the topic of your website is a fantastic way to demonstrate your expertise and credibility and at the same time allows you to build your reputation and your brand. Submitting your articles to the various free article sites gives your articles the opportunity to be picked up by other webmasters for their websites and newsletters. When your articles get used on these other websites they must be used with the author bio section un-edited. This means that you can generate one way links to your website, which in turn leads to greater exposure and better rankings in the search engines. If the readers of your articles on other sites click through to your site, you gain targeted traffic.

Some Article Writing Tips
To get the greatest benefit from your article writing endeavors, try to keep the following article writing tips in mind:

Try to stay away from turning your article into a sales pitch. Give your readers credit - they will be able to distinguish a sales pitch right away. Once they think they're just reading another sales pitch they will quickly click away from your article. I can just about guarantee that no one will pick up your sales pitch and use it on their website, unless it's one of your affiliates.
Don't include too many hyperlinks within the article body and stick to only one in the author bio section. Most webmasters will not pick up an article, no matter how good it is, if there are too many outgoing links. I would recommend not having any links within the article body but sometimes this is unavoidable.
Which situation would you rather have: 1 article with 1 outgoing link to your website that gets picked up by 1,000 webmasters or 1 article with 10 outgoing links that gets picked up by 10 webmasters?
Check, re-check and then check your article again for typos and grammatical errors. Have someone else proofread it for you before submitting it. Nothing says amateur more than typos and grammatical errors.
Write articles that complement the topic of your website. Don't write about something totally unrelated to your website. Remember, you want to establish your credibility and expertise. Write about what you know.
When adding that one link back to your site, make sure to include a keyword targeted link back to your site. I'm talking specifically about the words between the anchor tags. For example, this is how you should structure the link back to your website: keywords go here .

When the search engine robots come across this link they will index the anchor text and it will help you with those keywords in the search engines. Do not waste this valuable link by just having your website address (www.website.com) as the anchor text unless you have your main keywords in the website address. Try to vary the keywords a little as well when creating this link. There is speculation that having too many "uniform" links to a site may hurt you - just something to keep in mind.
Do not place a copyright notice at the top of your article. This leads to confusion and may cause webmasters to stay away from posting your articles on their website and in their newsletters.
It may be a good idea to write completely new content for your articles. Some writers just copy and paste parts of their websites and put them into articles. This may lead to a "duplicate content" penalty and may end up hurting your search engine results. I would recommend that you should play it safe and come up with totally new content for your articles.

How Many Articles Should I Write?
The number of articles that you will have to write really depends on how good your competitors are. If you're competing against many highly optimized websites, then you may have your work cut out for you. On the other hand, if you notice that your competitors are not all that great at the SEO thing, your road to article writing will be much shorter. Any way you look at it, writing articles can bring too many benefits that are yours for the taking.

Author Bio
John Michaels is a part-time editor for ArticleGeek.com. John has developed many websites over the years in many different business areas. He is a professional web developer/designer/architect. ArticleGeek is a free website content resource for publishers and webmasters and a place where authors may submit articles for FREE!

Article Source: http://www.ArticleGeek.com - Free Website Content

Do They Have The Fourth Of July In Other Countries? Sure They Do!

2010-07-28T00:10:00.002+07:00

Do They Have The
Fourth Of July In Other
Countries? Sure They Do!

It's The Day After The
Third Of July!
(Sat Jul 3rd, 2010, by Robert
Surowiec)

Here is a fun joke or perhaps more
specifically a riddle:

Q: "Do They Have The Fourth Of
July In Other Countries?"

A: "Sure They Do! It's The Day After
The Third Of July!"

It seems that the simplest riddles
and jokes are the funniest ones, and
some of them have been around for
a very long time. We all learned a
riddle or two when we were
children, or perhaps a joke, and
some of them are still funny today.

"Why did the fireman wear red
suspenders? To keep his pants up."

That one is probably older than
anyone living today. Sometimes the
simplest things in life are the best
things in life, not just with humor or
entertainment, but with many areas
of life.

Think about it...eating a really good
piece of Apple Pie, watching a really
great sunset, hearing a few minutes
of awesome life music, having a
loved one tell you something really
nice about yourself...these are all
some of the things that make life
worth living!

You might have a great bath or
shower, and it can make your
whole day. Bathtubs, showers,
bathroom vanities, or great big, well
lighted bathroom mirrors can make
your day more enjoyable! After all, what do you miss most when
camping? Certainly it's NOT the
television!

Sometimes helping kids do
homework, or doing an artistic
project as a family on the kitchen
table (thank goodness there is the
kitchen sink nearby to wash the
hands of glue, glitter, paint, clay, et
cetera) are the most enjoyable and
memorable times.

Many people who own a home,
enjoy taking part in various do-it-
yourself projects, such as painting,
replacing the kitchen faucet and sink,
or fixing something that has broken.

When it comes to kitchens and
bathrooms, you can go online to
order the faucets, sinks, fixtures and
such, that you need, at a place such
as www.MasterFaucet.com where
they have a huge selection that you
will love.

Life is too short to deny yourself the
simple pleasures, such as having a
bathroom that is like a spa in your
home, or enjoying a rainy Saturday
afternoon doing finger painting with
the kids at the kitchen table! Enjoy
your life and keep smiling!

About the Author:
Robert Surowiec works at a
fabulous kitchen and bathroom
supply retailer called MasterFaucet
and they are the "Masters of the
Universe" when it comes to
plumbing fixtures, faucets, basins,
sinks, shower panels, accessories,
and just about anything else that
you might need for a remodeling
job, or a complete renovation!
They will even ship by truck, UPS,
or FedEx to almost anywhere in the
good 'ole USA! Visit them at
www.MasterFaucet.com

Top PC Hardware Accessories to Boost your Gaming Performance

2010-07-27T07:42:00.002+07:00

Top PC Hardware Accessories to Boost your Gaming Performance

Admit it; your home computer isn't just about work, paying bills, and emailing out resumes, is it? You sneak off from time to time to play the newest
computer games, and that is certainly okay. So you probably also know that sometimes you just need certain accessories to fully enjoy the gaming
experience. That is especially true with games like flight simulators that are a lot more enjoyable if you have joystick or sports games that are easier
with a game pad. In that spirit, here are five hardware accessories that will boost your performance.

First of all, you are probably going to want a joystick. If you are going to do it, though, you might as well go all out and not cheat yourself. Some of the
best have as many as 8 programmable buttons on them, and usually include gaming extensions software to allow you to program the joystick to
whatever game you are playing at any given time. Look for something that allows you to adjust head tilt, palm rest, and all of the other movable parts
for your comfort. Look for something that hooks up easy, like via USB and that can be used on whatever type of computer you have.

Second, make sure you have a good mouse. A good wireless optical mouse is best for your gaming needs. An optical mouse determines motion by
imaging the surface it is gliding on over and over again. It then compares the successive frames to determine motion. This will give you a much
quicker advantage over competitors when playing games on the internet. Try to find something that connects via USB. The one thing to be aware of
with optical wireless mice, though, is that they run on batteries that tend to die fast. So, think about rechargeable batteries with your mouse.

Third, you will need a game pad, especially if you play console games. Many are set up just like the ones for home game systems. Find one with a
comfortable grip, so if you have a long gaming session you won't find yourself with tired hands. Most will be easy to install and will connect through
your USB connection. Try several out in the stores to make sure it is one with which you will be comfortable and will be able to use effectively.

The fourth must have hardware accessory for your gaming needs is a 3-piece computer speaker set. You don't need the fanciest set in the world, but
a set of two speakers and sub woofer will have excellent quality for you. Look for a set where you will simply need to set the speakers up on your
computer desk, put the subwoofer under the desk, and start gaming. Good speakers like this will enhance your gaming experience by bringing the
sounds and effects of the game right to you. Along with your speakers you may consider headphones. Headphones will let you escape to another
world and allow you to play late at night without waking up the entire household. Find some that fit you comfortably and that will not distort sound if
turned to a moderate volume and you will find your gaming experience enhanced and perhaps improved.

Fifth, every gamer worth his salt knows that the best way to fully enjoy gaming is with lots and lots of random access memory (RAM). If you enjoy
graphic intense games (and who doesn't?) then you know that they are resource hogs. The more RAM you have the better your games will be. In fact,
if you notice some of the games you are playing now seem to be slowing down, RAM will very likely help. Most of the time, RAM can be increased via
a simple hardware piece you plug into your motherboard. However, consult your computer manual to find out the best way to increase RAM in your
particular PC.

Gaming can be a lot of fun on your PC. You have access to the internet and unlimited opponents and teammates, plus it's a good way to get away
without actually going anywhere. Healthy competition and just good old fashioned fun, but to really enjoy it you may want to consider some hardware
purchases or upgrades. By making these few adjustments you can enhance your gaming experience and perhaps improve your performance.

Source: http://www.articlecircle.com

About the Author
Gregg Hall is a business consultant and author for many online and offline businesses and lives in Navarre Florida. Get PC gaming accessories at
http://www.advancedtechnologystore.com