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A kayak flipped in 43-degree water off Michigan

Michigan’s Department of Natural Resources said the rescue happened on June 4, 2026, in southern Lake Huron, near the line between Sanilac County and St. Clair County. Conservation officers Chris Kravitsky and Mark Siemen were patrolling about a mile offshore when they saw an overturned kayak and two people hanging onto one boat.

The couple were visitors from Westerville, Ohio: a 32-year-old husband and a 36-year-old wife. They had been kayaking while staying at a lakeside vacation home when increasing offshore winds began pushing them farther from shore, according to the account later shared by the department. The water was 25 feet deep and 43 degrees Fahrenheit.

Neither person was wearing a life jacket. The husband was suffering from cold exposure and was highly distressed when the officers reached them, the department said. Their kayaks had capsized after the wife’s kayak overturned first, and the husband’s attempt to help her left both boats flipped in the rougher conditions.

Officers spotted the overturned kayak and moved in

The rescue came together because the officers were already on patrol in the area and noticed the problem from offshore. Instead of a routine check, they found two people clinging to one kayak in open water, with the second boat also overturned nearby.

The Michigan DNR said the officers got the pair out of the water and brought the rescue to a close without further incident. The department did not report any serious injuries, but it did describe the husband’s cold exposure and the couple’s panic as the wind pushed them away from the coast.

The detail that stood out in the account was the temperature: 43-degree water in June is still cold enough to make an accidental swim dangerous fast, especially when people are several hundred yards offshore. The officers’ patrol route and quick visual spot were what made the difference in this case.

A rescue that ended before the weather did more damage

Lake Huron is a popular summer destination, but this rescue happened in conditions that turned a simple outing into a recovery operation. The officers were close enough to intervene, and the couple were close enough to shore to be reached in time, but the offshore wind had already carried them into a much riskier position.

The department’s account makes the timeline clear: the kayaks capsized, the couple were left stranded, and the conservation officers found them during patrol around 10:30 a.m. The rescue was handled by two named officers, in one specific stretch of water, on one June morning that could have gone very differently.

The Michigan DNR also used the incident to note boat and personal watercraft safety rules in the state, including requirements tied to age and motorized vessels. For the couple in Lake Huron, though, the practical ending was simpler: the officers reached them, brought them in, and the cold water did not get another turn.

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eh'ds everywhere

My Asian girlfriend

So my Asian girlfriend and I are getting pretty serious so we decided to get a dog together. And honestly it's better than you would think

so i wanted to know what was small and cheep

my dad in the middle of dinner says asian hookers

What do you call the Loch Ness monster on drugs

You're high ness

What do you call a Shi Tzu giving a blowjob?

Shit Head.

how do you start a rave in Ethiopia?

you put a piece of bread on the ceiling

How many Chicago Policemen does it take to crack an egg?

None. It fell down the stairs.

When does an astronaut eat his favourite meal?

At launch time.

The Artist

I just saw a group of people who were watching an artist sketch all of them in his book. The man was good too, he really knew how to draw a crowd.

Four girlscout cookie boxes down in a day and I realized I have a problem

… I'm running out of cookies.

What did the socialist use before candles?

Electricity.

Hey baby are you a basic bitch?

Cause you're alkafine!

I thought getting a vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant….

But all it did was change the color of the baby.

I needed to clean my FleshLight, i heard they were dishwasher safe.

But that would Just ruin the load.

A Woman Told Her Husband About Her Day..

"And then she asked I to pick it up! Can you believe that?" His wife said. Confused, the husband asked, "Don't you mean, and then she asked me to pick it up?" She gasped and slapped him across the face. "Pig."

Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs?

A paraplegic in a house fire.

Always wondered why female sentence fragments are so chill

No period

Testicular cancer joke?

Testicular Cancer Society: Hi there, did you receive our email? Me: No… why? Testicular Cancer Society: Maybe you should check your junk.

For a long time I thought I was Jewish.

But it turned out to be psychosemitic.

What's a joke that was funny in early America, but is even more hilarious in…

"Women's rights" *^ba-dum ^ching*

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And the world's largest woman is laid by your dad.

Werewolves are notoriously hard to find…

Otherwise they'd be known as Therewolves.

This is a riddle

This is a riddle. It works well if you let the students ask yes and no questions about the situation, before revealing the answer. Q: A man goes into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The barman pulls out a gun, and points it at the customer. "Thank you" replies the customer and walks out. What happened? A: The customer had hiccups. I've used this in many countries in Eastern Europe. It always works – a shock as a hiccup cure appears to be an international thing.

How do you find Will Smith in a snow storm?

Look for the Fresh Prince.

A husband goes home from work…

…to find his house with the lights dimmed down and candles surrounding the bed in the bedroom. He finds his wife there, laying abroad with sexy panties and a pink bra, and her bangs covering her left eye. She smiles. "Tonight," she says. "Is going to be the sexiest and most passionate night of your life, sweetie." The husband smiles as his wife gets up and unties his tie for him, and unbuckles his pants. He can't wait. "Lets try role playing." she says. "I'll be your slutty little daughter, and you'll be my father who needs to teach me… discipline…" He grins widely, liking where this is going. His wife grabs him and pulls him down to the bed. She whispers in his ear. "I'm so horny…" The husband enjoys this and decides to follow along with the role playing. He then whispers back in her ear. "Hi, horny. I'm dad."

A Muslim guy dropped his wallet

A Muslim guy dropped his wallet today so I ran after him and handed it to him. He said, "Thank you so much" then he added in a low voice, "don't go to the next Manchester United game" "Why?" I asked. "Because they're boring and shit”

There are 10 types of people on this subreddit…

Those who know binary and those who don't.

You know what channel The Republican debate is on?

I don't know man, maybe check Comedy Central?

I was fired from my job as a mortician after I was caught having sex on the job

I guess it was the final nail in the coffin.

A cop sets up a speed trap on a lonely highway.

A cop sets up a speed trap on a lonely highway. After hours of waiting, he finally sees a car speeding down the highway towards him. He clocks the car at nearly double the speed limit, quickly pulls him over and walks up to the driver. Cop: "I've been waiting for someone like you to come around all day, boy." Driver: "Well I'm sorry officer, I got here as fast as I could!"

King's Landing

Tommen put the king's landing in King's Landing

A joke my dad said about black people!

I said, Dad do you like black people? He says, "Yeah! I think everyone should have one or two!"

What's the difference between Batman and a Black man?

Batman can go out at night without Robin

What do you call a Bacon Lettuce Tomato sandwich at a gay pride parade?

An LGBLT

Sarah, i understand that you are a feminist…

…but you can't end your prayer with "awomen" instead of "amen" credits to an anonymous facebook post of which i was too lazy to read the name

How many internet users does it take to change a light-bulb?

I dunno. Let's just sign a petition so that hopefully somebody will do it.

I forgot I had an ambien in my back pocket

Now my ass is asleep

It was getting crowded in heaven….(Kinda long)

So God decided to make a new condition that in order for someone new to get into heaven, they must have a bad day when they die. The rule was told to the gatekeeper so he could follow it from here on. The first person who died had stepped up to the gate. The gatekeeper then proceeded to say, "Well sir, before I could let you in, I need to ask. How was your day today?" The man said, "Well to tell you the truth, it was absolutely terrible! I had suspicions that my wife was cheating on me for some time now, so I decided to come home from work early to see if I could catch her in the act. I got up to my 6th story apartment building, unlocked the door and thrust it open as fast as I can, to see my wife laying in bed half naked with a whole bunch of clothes on the floor. This makes me furious, as I go rampaging across the apartment trying to look for the bastard. I looked basically everywhere, until I see him hanging from the balcony of the story above us. I go out there and start socking him in the chest and stomach as hard as I could, trying to push him off, until he finally loses his grip and falls 6 stories down. I thought that would be the end of it, but I saw that he managed to break his fall on the way down by landing in a tree. So I went inside, grabbed the fridge, and hauled it out the balcony, where it fell right on top of em, killing the fucker! I was so exited and mad and pumped, that I had a heart attack from it, and now I'm here".The gatekeeper, fascinated by the story said, "Wow, you really did have a bad day didn't you? Go on through sir. The man obliged, and went on his way through the pearly gates. The second man finally approached the gate, and the gatekeeper was eager to hear his story. He asked him how his day was to which he responded, "Well at first it wasn't too bad. I was starting out the day by getting an intense workout done on my 7th story balcony. But then I kinda got a little carried away a bit and found myself hanging from the outside of my balcony. To make matters worse, I see this crazy pissed off guy on the story below me thrust the door open, and started jabbing at my torso. I couldn't hold on any longer, and fell down about 6 stories to where a tree broke my fall. The last thing I remember was laying on my back in massive pain when I see a little dot start to get bigger. As soon as I could tell that it was a fridge, everything went black and I ended up here. The Angel told him, "That truly is a terrible way to go! Make your way through sir, i'll open the gates for you." The man proceeds through while the gatekeeper says to himself "I could get used to this. Hehe." The the third guy goes up to the gates and the gatekeeper then says, "Hello there sir, before I could let you in, I must ask, how was your day?" The man then tells the gatekeeper, "You're never gonna believe what happened to me. Picture this, I'm naked, in a fridge…"

De Phallum Dei

As everyone educated in philosophy knows, the ontological argument purports to prove the existence of God by reason alone. The argument goes as follows: 1) God is the greatest possible thing, exemplifying all positive characteristics. 2) God can either exist only in our understanding, or both in our understanding and in reality. 3) God would be greater if he existed in both our understanding and reality. 4) Therefore, God must exist in reality. Another way to state that God is the greatest possible thing is to say that for every positive trait, he holds it to the highest degree. That is to say, God is perfectly good, wise, powerful, etc. In fact, for any positive property P, God must exemplify it. Therefore, it follows that God has the greatest P-ness in reality.

True story

A woman suddenly said to the man who was in bed with her, "Get up, quick! I heard the noise of my husband's car, which is so rotten that you can hear it from half a mile away. He has just braked in the driveway. You just get up!" The man got up and he said, "But where am I to go?" She said, "Jump out of the window!" Fortunately it was not a sixty story building — it was just the ground floor — so he jumped out. But he was naked and it was raining. But fortunately a group of joggers was passing by so he joined them, finding no other way; otherwise, standing there naked, he would be caught. He mixed with the two dozen joggers, and in the darkness of the early morning he managed well. Just one jogger by his side saw that this man looked naked. He could not resist his temptation. He asked, "Do you always jog naked?" The man said, "Yes." Then as darkness was disappearing and a little light was coming up, the jogger recognized that the naked man was nobody else but the bishop. And in that small light he saw that he was not just naked, he was wearing a condom. He said, "Father, do you always wear a condom when jogging?" The bishop said, "No, not always; only when it is raining."

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Not bad actually, he got high 'C's.

Why did the zombie get a gym membership?

Gaaaainsss

Why do meth addicts prefer to do it doggy style?

So they can both look out the window.

What do feminists and Redditors have in common?

They both have multiple triggers that will cause them to down vote those who don't think the exact same way as them.

The difference between birds

A new study from a renowned bird journal found the difference between crows and ravens. Apparently, aside from size, their wings are made differently. The common crow has six pinions per wing, while the raven has only five. The conclusion: It is only a difference of a pinion.

Welche vier Flüsse kennt jede Blondine?

Rhein, Inn, Main, Po

During a family lunch…

The youngest son asks his father, 'Daddy what's the difference between *potential* and *reality*? The father turns to his wife and asks her, 'Would you sleep with George Clooney for 1 million $?' 'Certainly, I would never waste such opportunity' tells the wife The father then turns to his teenage daughter and asks her, 'would you sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 million $?' 'Surely! He is my fantasy, his posters are all over the walls of my room.' she replies. The father then turns to his eldest son and asks, 'Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for 1 million $!' Eldest son thinks a little and replies: 'Why not? Imagine what I could do with that money. So yes, I would sleep.' The father turns back to his youngest son and explains him: 'You see, potentially we are sitting with multi-millionaires but in reality we are sitting with two prostitutes and one gay…'

A milestone

Is one mile closer to the stone.

Friends are like snowflakes

If you pee on them, they disappear.

A nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word…

First a little girl says, "The sky is definitely blue." The teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can sometimes be gray, or black." A second little boy says,"Trees are definitely green." "Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown." Then little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks, "Does a fart have lumps?" The teacher looks horrified and says, "Johnny! Of course not!!!" "OK…then I DEFINITELY just shit my pants!"

Q: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%?

Q: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%? A: Her wedding cake.

Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics

Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.

A Pirate Joke that doesn't end with "ARRRR."

A pirate walks into bar and sits down. The bartender notices that he has a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and a patch over one eye. The pirate orders a beer, and while he's pouring it the bartender asks "So what's the story with the leg?" "Well it were many a year ago," says the pirate. "I were walkin on the deck a me ship and a rogue wave swept me overboard, and a shark swum up and bit me leg clean off! I swum ashore and were fitted fer a peg leg that very night." "That's terrible," says the bartender. "What about the hand?" "Well it were the very next day," says the pirate. "I were walkin on the deck a me ship and a rogue wave swept me overboard again, and a whale came up and bit me hand clean off! I swum ashore and were fitted fer a hook that very night." "Wow," says the bartender. "So what about the eye?" "Well it were the very next day," says the pirate. "I were walkin on the deck a me ship, and I were lookin out fer rogue waves, and a seagull flew over and shit right in me eye!" "Oh man," says the bartender. "And that blinded you?" "Well no," says the pirate. "But it were me first day with the hook."

Somebody told me that today literally adds up

But that's silly, 8+8 =/= 2016

This old guy's sitting in his easychair, reading the newspaper, when his…

She tears the bathrobe open and loudly proclaims, "Super Pussy!" The old guy, barely glancing up from his paper, says, "I'll have the soup."

An elderly lady would always bring flowers she picked from her garden to a…

One day a worker was installing a new sign in the lobby when a metal bar from his scaffolding fell. He was harnessed in to the part that didn't fall, but the bar hit the elderly lady with the flowers, killing her instantly. Two years later the maintenance guy was walking down a corridor after hours when he faintly smelled flowers. He was instantly reminded of the flower lady. After that he heard a faint "psst" as if someone was calling for him. He started jogging and the smell became stronger. The same whisper beckoning him was louder. When he reached the end of the corridor he stopped dead in his tracks. A mist began to fall over him and the smell was overwhelming. He looked up and saw…. An air freshener. [via](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/22urz1/what_is_your_favourite_urban_legend/cgqtph8)

Ten Science Jokes for Nerds

* I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down. * I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum. * Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don’t believe in higher powers. * Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t. * Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell. * A group of protesters in front of a physics lab: “What do we want?”. “Time travel” “When do we want it?”. “Irrelevant.” * What does a subatomic duck say? Quark! * A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies “For you, no charge”. * Two atoms are walking along. One of them says: “Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.” “Are you sure?” “Yes, I’m positive.” * An optimist sees a glass half full. A pessimist sees it half empty. An engineer sees it twice as large as it needs to be.

I got a new job working in an underwear factory

I'll be pulling down 800 a week

The boiled water died

It shall be mist

Roses are red, I'm feeling blue

There's one less gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo

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One day a young zookeeper was working the night shift a a zoo. He was doing his routine work, cleaning, feeding, and talking to each animal as he passed by them. On this day however he heard a voice calling to him from a young giraffe. *Psssst zookeeperrrrrr! Pssst over here!* *What is it giraffe?* *Zookeeper, Please let me out of my cage!* *And why should I do that?* *Well because I'm gunna die tomorrow! Please!* Reluctantly, the zookeeper releases the giraffe to roam the zoo in its final hours of life but not long after the giraffe asks the zookeeper for another favor. *Zookeeperrrr!* *What is it this time, giraffe?* *Zookeeperrrr, can we get some ice cream?* *No, we cannot* *Awwwwww, but I'm gunna die tomorrowwww!* *Alright, fine!* The zookeeper and the giraffe go to get some ice cream as midnight draws near the zookeeper starts to worry and they go back to the zoo. But shortly after the giraffe is back at it again. *Zookeeperrrrr!* *What do you want, giraffe?* *Can we go drinkinnnng?* *NO! Absolutely not!* *Awwww, but I'm gunna die tomorrowwww!* *Fine, but this is the last time!* So the zookeeper and the giraffe get a taxi and they go to a bar. They drink and get very drunk and the next day the zookeeper wakes up in the bar with a dead giraffe next to him. The bartender is cleaning glasses and wiping tables, he notices the zookeeper wake up. He looks over at the dead giraffe and the woken zookeeper and says, *Hey you can't keep that lyin' around here!* The zookeeper yawns. *That's not a lion, that's a giraffe.*

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?

Hell if I know!

why does a prostitute make more money than a drug dealer?

she can clean her crack and sell it again

Hey North Carolina, watcha doin' this weekend?

Nothing

Knock, Knock…

The creator of the Knock Knock joke should get a Nobel Prize.

Why do they call it a "waist"?

Because you could easily fit another pair of tits down there.

I want to give a shout out to liver

thanks buddy for keeping all those bad influences out of my life

What's big, green and cries in the corner?

The Incredible Sulk

A man has a sore throat and goes to the doctor…

Doctor: "Your tonsils gotta come out." Patient: "I want a second opinion!" Doctor: "Okay, I don't like your haircut."

When the time comes, I want to go out like my grandfather did, peacefully in…

And not screaming and panicking like his passengers.

This Dad joke is so good it escaped from DadJokes and found its way over…

On an old railway line there was a town named Urelia. And the two conductors on the train could not agree on how to pronounce this name. So everytime the train pulled into this town, one conductor standing at one end of the passenger car would shout something that sounded llike "You'realiar", whereupon the conductor standing at the other end of the car would shout something that sounded like "Youreallyare".

What does a baby look like in a microwave?

I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.

Ice cream man (NSFW)

My friend Steve was mowing his lawn on a hot summer's day when the icecream truck comes around. Steve decides to get a popsicle, so he walks over and approaches the icecream man. Then Steve says to the icecream man "i'd like something good but not to sweet". Icecream man says "i've got just what you're looking for, a clitpop, "CLITPOP!!" Steve screamed in disbelief. Icecream man continues " yes sir, you heard me right and they're only a dollar a pop. The man buys the clit pop takes of wrapper and takes a huge lick without thinking twice. Right after the lick Steve complains that the popsicle taste like shit and the Icecream man says "well just flip it over stoopid"

What do you call a black guy who flies a plane?

A PILOT, YOU RACIST!

How are an alcoholic and necrophiliac similar?

Both enjoy cracking open a cold one.

Two men sit in a bar when a guy with a bunch of knives comes in..

.. one of the guys turned to the other and said: "See that guy with all those knives? He's *Knife Bill*" Some time later a man with 8 guns on his belt comes in and again the guy turned to the other and said: "See that guy with all those guns? He's *Gun Bill*" An hour later a guy with 5 arms and 3 legs comes in and the other guy asks: "Who is that??" "That's *Cherno Bill*"

Why won't Lion win Best Picture?

Starving Indian children has always been a naan-issue.

Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?

He was outstanding in his field.

New Girlfriend (49)

(*pensively*): Hmmm, I guess things are really getting serious between me and my girlfriend, uh, Peggy Sue, because I just added the song "Peggy Sue" to my favourites playlist. (*lightheartedly*): I mean, I don't even particularly like that song. **(*Laugh Track*)** (Joke sponsored by Al Tebehalah's Discount Lobotomies)

What do you do when your Apple device gets warm?

Ask apple to open the backdoor.

The post Joke: The Zookeeper and the Giraffe. appeared first on DailyLaughs.com.

# #OfficeHumor #humor

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The challenge

Count the total number of individual cubes in the 3D structure without missing hidden depth or counting the same cube twice.

A reliable way to approach it is to split the shape into two parts:

• the four matching arms that extend outward
• the central column rising through the middle

Two errors can throw off the total. One is counting only the cubes that are visible from the front and ignoring cubes set behind them. The other is double-counting cubes where sections meet.

How to check the pattern

Each of the four arms contains 15 cubes. With four identical arms, that gives:

15 × 4 = 60

The center adds a separate vertical column of 6 cubes.

That means the full structure is:

60 + 6

The solution

The structure contains 66 cubes in total.

The count works as follows:

• Four arms: 15 cubes each = 60
• Central column: 6 cubes
• Total: 66 cubes

The post How many cubes make up this structure? Look twice before you answer appeared first on DailyLaughs.com.

The challenge

Two of the children are building a snowman while the boy looks off into the snowy background. Nothing seems unusual at first glance, so the clue is easy to miss.

The key detail is not near the snowman or in the foreground. To solve it, focus on the side of the scene the boy is looking toward and examine the background carefully.

How to check the scene

This puzzle depends on a small hidden detail rather than an obvious action. Scan the trees in the distance and look for a shape that does not blend naturally into the winter setting.

The surprise comes from something concealed rather than something happening openly in the snow.

The solution

The boy is surprised because a deer is standing hidden among the trees.

The hidden deer appears between the trees in the background.

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You never listen to me.

You only hear what you wanna hear

Him:

Sure, I'll have a beer

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This sum bullsh*t.

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how will I know when I meet the right girl?

Oh you'll know son, you'll know.

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My kid needs a step dad

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I'm not that type of girl.

15 minutes later:

wanna try the other hole

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#WorkFromHome # #humor

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“Send me that picture we took last night, we probably look so good!

The picture:

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