There are few things that tear at our hearts more than hearing our kids say, “I’m stupid.”

At first glance the following parent seems to be right on track:

No you are not stupid. Honey, think of all of the things you are good at. How about reading? You’re good at that! And, remember how much you improved in baseball last summer. Stupid kids don’t learn how to hit curve balls like you did. And your art is wonderful. If you were dumb, would you have been able to learn how to create those drawings with such wonderful three-dimensional perspectives? I don’t think so.

At second glance, we realize that this well-meaning parent is actually lending credibility to their child’s “I’m stupid” remark… by spending so much time and energy addressing it.

The Love and Logic approach is much simpler…just ask your student, “Aren’t you glad that I don’t believe that?”

The same response is fitting when a student says, “I can’t do this.” Rather than trying to convince the student that they are wrong, just ask the student, “Aren’t you glad I don’t believe you?” Said with a positive voice and a smile, a student has no choice but to agree with you!

Read more about how to handle these types of negative comments.

Originally posted 2013-10-11 16:53:16. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Originally posted 2017-04-19 18:56:26. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Read the rest here.

Originally posted 2012-03-07 07:14:40. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Sometimes it’s a judgment call about when to keep a sick kid home or send them to school. Kids can’t stay home for every ache and pain, even though they might want to. But sending a legitimately sick kid to school could make matters worse. Here are some guidelines:

When to send them

• A common cold or runny nose.
• A cough not associated with a fever, rapid or difficult breathing, or wheezing.
• Pink eye after symptoms have faded or after 24 hours of treatment from a doctor.
• Watery, yellow or white discharge or crusting eye discharge without fever, eye pain or eyelid redness.
• A fever without any other symptoms. The AAP states: “A fever is an indication of the body’s response to something, but is neither a disease nor a serious problem by itself.” A fever is defined as a temperature above 101 degrees.
• A rash without fever and behavioral changes. (Exception: Call 911 for rapidly spreading bruising or small blood spots under the skin.)
• Lice, as long as the child has started treatment and has no live lice.

When to stay home

• A fever over 100° (Fahrenheit)
• For 24 hours after starting an antibiotic
• For 24 hours after symptoms of stomach flu have subsided (such as vomiting or diarrhea)
• A persistent cough or chest pain, or if your child is having a hard time swallowing
• An earache with persistent pain
• Crusty, draining and red eyes
• An unfamiliar rash, or a rash that hasn’t been examined by a doctor
• Any illness that prevents the child from participating comfortably in school activities.
• Vomiting more than two times in the past 24 hours.
• Abdominal pain that continues for more than two hours.
• Mouth sores with drooling that the child cannot control.
• A rash with fever or behavioral changes.
• Strep throat, until the child has two doses of antibiotic.
• Head lice, only if the child has not been treated or if there is live lice present.
• Chickenpox (varicella), until all lesions have dried or crusted.

See this source for more details. Our school nurse also has more information at her School Health website.

Originally posted 2020-01-09 17:03:17. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Researchers at Stanford created this simple test measure self-control in a student. What they found is that two-thirds of the students couldn’t delay their gratification to wait for something better. But one-third of those students did show self-control.

And after many years, researchers checked-in with those students to see how they were doing. Every single one of them were successful! It seems that their ability to show self-control helped them focus on what was important and to delay gratification. That helped them focus on the “big picture,” persevere through difficulties, and to steer clear of negative choices.

So what can we learn from this? Self-control and waiting for what we want is important. It’s something worth trying to develop at school and home. See if you can find ways to help your student learn to wait for what he wants: TV shows, video games, playing, using technology, snacks. If students can learn to wait for small things now, they may be able to use this self-control in bigger more important issues later.

Here’s another video about this research.

Originally posted 2016-09-19 17:45:28. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Originally posted 2018-02-19 13:55:39. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

What we adults know is that that method usually creates more problems than it solves. But we also know that even adults are tempted to speak harshly or lash out when we feel we have been wronged.

Love and Logic has a great, simple suggestion for boosting the chance that other people will listen to you. Phrase your concern like this:

“I’d like to share what I’ve been hearing and get your thoughts.”

This method gets the concern discussed without putting anyone on the hot seat. No one feels defensive, so the topic will get discussed and probably resolved.

This would probably solve a lot of problems for people that go to elementary school, or for anyone that has ever attended one.

The rest of the article is worth a read.

Originally posted 2018-09-06 17:22:58. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Has someone ever said to you, “Just try it, it’s easy!” and then you found out the task they coaxed you into trying was painfully difficult? Did this leave you feeling exceptionally capable or downright stupid…and embarrassed?

When this happens to the average adult, it doesn’t take long for them to conclude two things:

• This person who’s trying to help me is nuts…and definitely not to be trusted!
• Why should I try if I can’t even handle the easy stuff?

Quite frequently I overhear well-meaning parents and educators using the “Just try it, it’s easy!” approach in an attempt to urge a reluctant child into trying something they’re afraid of. When the child finds the task easy, all is right with the world. When they don’t, they’re confronted with the pain of seeing that they might be so slow that they can’t even do something really, really “easy”!

Originally posted 2011-09-22 16:57:17. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Judy saved her own life. She used to listen when her kids argued with her. She used to fall for their manipulation. When her teen daughter said, “You love Billy more than me!” she used to get upset and insist, “That’s not true! I love you BOTH!”

Now she takes better care of herself. When the arguing and manipulation start, Judy goes brain dead. She doesn’t listen to the words lest she be tempted to do something dumb – like respond.

Originally posted 2011-09-14 16:22:02. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Money wasn’t the only thing he saved. He also stored up lots of energy for when Mom and Dad went out. In fact, so much energy that he wore out every babysitter in town.

Mom finally convinced a sitter to work with her to help Junior realize the error of his ways. The deal: If he was good, Mom and Dad would pay for the sitter. If he wasn’t, he paid. This got his attention.

And I bet you can imagine how the next babysitting session went!

Love and Logic suggests using natural consequences like this to teach responsibility. You might be able to find several places you could use this in your family:

• Parents pay for good dentist visits, and children pay for the bad ones if their cavities are caused by not being responsible to brush their teeth.
• Parents pay students to complete some chores (Dave Ramsey says to call this a commission, not an allowance). What if they don’t do the chores? They don’t get paid. Maybe they even pay their parent or sibling to do the chore that they were supposed to do.

What about paying for grades? People disagree about if parents should do this, with some saying paying for grades is like adults getting paid for work. That’s close, but adults are paid for hours worked, not usually on the results of a certain product. So you probably shouldn’t pay for grades.

But if you’ve already started or committed to paying for grades, research shows that if you stop, your student will likely not work as hard for their grades. So you might need to continue for a while, and if you do, this Love and Logic tip might apply. Parents pay for the good grades, and students pay for the bad ones, especially if you have evidence (missing assignments, students not doing their daily homework time, arguments) that they didn’t try their hardest.

Again, paying for grades should not be your top way to motivate your student. If you don’t pay for grades, don’t start now. But if you do, try the tip from this article. And certainly with other areas of your student’s responsibility, look for ways that a student’s greedy little heart for cash can teach them that their actions have consequences.

Originally posted 2016-10-03 06:18:15. Republished by Blog Post Promoter