Self-confidence, responsibility, character, and resiliency all find their foundation in the same place. They grow out of the opportunities children create when they make poor decisions and are faced with the consequences that follow.

Wise parents over-ride their own natural tendencies to rescue or to tell kids how to deal with these opportunities. If they don’t, the opportunities are lost. Over a period of time, youngsters start to believe that others are smarter and more capable than they are.

Jake called his dad from college to say that his car had been towed. He tried to explain that it wasn’t his fault because the parking sign was not easy to see.

Dad replied, “Oh, that is sad. What do you think you are going to do?”

“Well, Dad, I was thinking you need to send me $200 so I can get the car out of the impound lot.”

Wise parents don’t rescue kids from their mistakes

Keep reading to find out how Dad responded.

Originally posted 2015-11-11 10:23:34. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Parents are often tempted to look for ways that minimize the pain their children experience, even when that pain was caused by their child’s poor choice. But separating a consequence from an action is not the best way to show love to a child. Minimizing that pain now makes it more likely that the child will experience increased pain in the future as he repeats the same mistake over and over. A wise parent lets their child experience the logical consequences of their choices, and then shows them love through the situation. Said another way, a wise parent “can either stand between his [child’s] bad decision and the consequences, or she can stand beside him, supporting him as he learns from it. She can’t do both.”

Here’s a better response to the class skipper:

“What a sad situation, Toby. How do you want to confess? Do you want to do it in person, in writing, or would you rather have me help you by going with you to the principal’s office? I bet you might like a hug right now. I know that I do.”

Letting a child learn from their mistakes before the consequences become serious is the most loving way parents can handle the problems their children cause.

Read more about this here.

Originally posted 2016-10-18 13:45:47. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Originally posted 2016-06-18 07:02:54. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

To figure this out, one year I looked at the number of minutes of math practice my fourth grade students were completing at Khan Academy, a math practice website. I compared that to a student’s math level. Here are some facts to consider, using data from one fourth grade marking period:

• The average number of minutes the class worked for the entire marking period was 800 minutes. The lowest value was 400 minutes, and the highest was 1750 minutes. So the hardest workers were working 400% more than the lax workers.
• The top 25% of the class was working an average of 1300 minutes with an average math level of 5.1.
• The bottom 25% of the class was working an average of 471 minutes with an average math level of 3.5.
• The middle 50% of the class was right where you would expect them to be, in the middle of minutes worked and math level.

Here’s the data in a table, sorted by the number of minutes worked:

It’s clear from above that the students that are spending the most time working are improving their math levels. The students practicing the least are below grade level.

Here’s the table sorted by math level:

What this table clearly shows is that the students that need the most practice, the lowest level math students, were working the least in the class. However, the average minutes in this table are higher for the bottom and middle percentiles than in the table that was sorted by minutes worked. That shows that some of the lower level students were spending more time trying to improve their math levels. Over time, that practice will pay off.

Two takeaways:

1. Practice time makes a difference. While not a guarantee, the more time your student spends practicing math (or reading or any other subject) the better their level will be. This is why a daily homework time is essential.
2. Grades will follow minutes. If your student has a lower math level than you would like, nothing is likely to change until you find ways for them to practice more at home. It would be great if your student would take initiative and practice on their own. But if they are struggling, it is likely that they are not practicing. You’ll need to step in and help them organize your time if you want to see a change. Over time, more practice will make a difference.

Originally posted 2017-12-04 15:41:19. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Originally posted 2017-02-25 09:47:42. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Originally posted 2018-02-11 13:49:35. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Source 

Originally posted 2016-10-05 06:50:01. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

But that realization doesn’t make lying acceptable. Here’s a way to address the problem:

Very few humans, including adults, are like young George Washington in the cherry tree story. Most people, including children, tend to lie to protect themselves. If the youngster didn’t brush his teeth, and the parent asks, “Did you brush your teeth?” the answer will probably be a lie. So, why ask in the first place?

A better approach might be to say, “I hope you’re protecting your teeth by brushing. I’ve been a little worried for you since I pay for the good dentist reports and you pay for the bad ones. I hope you get a good report from the dentist.”

And yes, a Love and Logic parent would have the child pay for the bad report.

Read more about how to address lying.

Originally posted 2012-05-12 12:54:00. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Originally posted 2018-02-26 13:56:28. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Originally posted 2017-01-21 07:07:27. Republished by Blog Post Promoter