It’s been a couple of days since the bombshell Ville Koivunen extension ($32 million over eight seasons) grabbed headlines throughout the hockey world.

Frankly, I’m still trying to make some sense of it.

It’s one thing to offer a mega-deal to a genuine, can’t miss blue-chipper who you know is going to pan out. I mentioned in a recent article that Oilers stud Leon Draisaitl posted the very same anemic numbers (two goals) as Koivunen during his rookie season. But you knew Draisaitl was going to be a star.

It’s something entirely else (insane, perhaps?) to offer such a deal to a player who is anything but a lock to make it in the NHL. Or as the Tribune-Review’s Joe Starkey so succinctly put it, “Nobody even knows if Ville Koivunen is an NHL player.”

I’m reminded that former Pens GM Ron Hextall was excoriated in the summer of 2022 for extending former first-round pick Kasperi Kapanen for two seasons at a then pricey $3.2 million cap hit on the heels of a down (some would say dreadful) season.

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As the refrain from the old children’s marching song goes, “With a knick-knack paddywhack, give a dog a bone…”

In this case, the pup who wants to be thrown a bone is yours truly.

By my humble estimation, this is not shaping up to be a banner season for the boys in black and gold. On the contrary, with an aging core and an awkward, unbalanced lineup courtesy of POHO/GM Kyle Dubas, I think it’s going to be a transition season in reverse.

Among the most glaring needs, a left-side defenseman and some legit toughness. Especially with the way other Eastern Conference teams, most notably the Capitals and Panthers, have muscled up.

I know a way to plug both holes in one fell swoop. Swing a deal for Canadiens RFA bruiser Arber Xhekaj or sign him to an offer sheet, if you prefer.

I’m only being slightly facetious.

For those unfamiliar with Xhekaj (pronounced JACK-eye), he’s an ultra-rugged 6’4” 240-pound mountain of a left-shot defenseman. The 25-year-old Hamilton (Ontario) hammer is also on a short list of the very toughest hombres in the league.

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That was pretty much my reaction when PP colleagues Other Rick and Caleb DiNatale informed me almost simultaneously the Penguins (or more specifically, Kyle Dubas) had signed RFA forward Ville Koivunen to a whopping, and I mean WHOPPING, 8-year-deal with an AAV of $4 million.

Stunned doesn’t begin to describe my take on the transaction. Honestly, I thought Dubas might let the 23-year-old winger walk, given Ville’s uninspired output during his rookie season. As a refresher, an anemic two goals and seven points in 39 games.

Backing up the truck for a moment, I have two decidedly different takes on Koivunen. I was thoroughly impressed with the wispy Finn during his eight-game cameo at the end of the 2024-25 campaign. I thought he displayed confidence, boldness and exceptional puck skills, to say nothing of vision and on-ice generalship. Attributes that enabled him to pile up an impressive seven assists during those eight games.

I was expecting big things from Ville heading into the ’25-26 season. If you’d told me he would come close to duplicating the 21 goals and 56 points he rang up for the Baby Pens in ’24-25, I wouldn’t have flinched.

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I’ll be honest. With a little over a month left until the start of training camp, I still look at the Penguins’ roster and scratch my head. The overabundance of forwards, particularly bottom-sixers, the abject lack of openings for the kids, and the absolutely frightening makeup of the left side of our defense just doesn’t make sense. To say nothing of a dearth of physicality when other Eastern Conference teams such as the Capitals and Panthers have gone on a muscle-building spree.

Yes, there’s certainly still time to make a trade or two. I’m reminded that today marks the third anniversary of the Erik Karlsson mega-deal. However, it sure doesn’t seem like any trades are in the works. Not for ‘Canes portside defenseman Alex Nikishin, not for Kraken center Shane Wright (especially in the wake of the Tommy Novak extension). Not for anybody.

Of course, I felt pretty much the same way about last summer’s moves. To our POHO/GM’s enormous credit, just about every one paid off in spades, from the signings of twin towers Anthony Mantha and Justin Brazeau (50 goals combined) to the surprising emergence of journeyman defender Parker Wotherspoon in an elevated role.

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Okay, so no one’s ever accused me of being the brightest bulb on the planet. Certainly not my professors at IUP, where I was fortunate to earn a degree. (Still have nightmares that I didn’t.) And I’ll be the first to admit there are nuances that go with running an NHL team that are beyond my immediate ability to grasp. However, some of the Penguins, or more to the point, Kyle Dubas’ moves this summer have left me scratching my head.

Without further preamble, here goes in no particular order:

Extending Tommy Novak

Don’t get me wrong. I happen to like Tommy Novak. I thought he did a really nice job for us, especially after coach Dan Muse slipped him into the second-line center slot between Evgeni Malkin and Egor Chinakhov.

He possesses playmaking skills and smarts and, at least to my eye, wasn’t as timid or perimeter as his detractors make him out to be. Backed by his impressive WAR chart, his underlying numbers were good across the board and some of the best on the team.

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In the wake of a recent Penguins Team Reset and accompanying lineup projection on NHL.com, I thought I’d take my own crack at predicting our lineup (or Dr. Dubas’ creation if you prefer) for the upcoming season.

On at least two occasions I’ve referred to the Pens’ roster as a misshapen Frankenstein’s monster of sorts. A wholly apt description. We’ve got more pieces/parts than we need or could possibly use in some areas and not nearly enough in others.

I close my eyes and envision Dr. Frankenstein and his faithful assistant Igor (Kyle Dubas and sidekick Wes Clark) hovering over the monster, supine and lifeless on a hard metal operating table, concern etched in their faces.

They initially fix their gaze on the head and neck, replete with electrodes and a jagged scar on the forehead from recent surgery (removing 33-goal-man Anthony Mantha). Despite some gracefully aging parts, the least of their worries.

Especially since 39-year-old marvel Sidney Crosby will once again center the top line for battle-tested veterans and long-time linemates Rickard Rakell and Bryan Rust, with Evgeni Malkin and countryman/triggerman Egor Chinakhov flanking Tommy Novak on the second unit.

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