「妳給我滾！」
　　燈光昏暗。她溫柔地蹲在床邊倒水遞上，他卻隻手一揚打翻。咕咚咕咚。不遠處有人疾步走來。臥榻獨臂男怒目側視，滿臉分明寫著「關你屁事」幾個大字。第九代人類表情識別中樞在三千毫秒之內精準地讀懂了這一幕，智能看護聳了聳肩，便中途折返總台繼續充電。深夜病房大廳再次寂靜如初。

　　晨曦鳥語。靠窗床位的銀髮大爺開始跟早班義工閒聊。
　　「明明女友不離不棄，他還不知足。現在年輕人實在脆弱。唉！」
　　「呵呵。子非魚。他可能只是不想連累別人吧。有空掃掃你自己門前雪，成天貪玩偷跑出院，也不關心一下這幾年的藥費⋯⋯」
　　「怯！反正人生終須轉世，過眼雲煙浪費時間！」
　　「呵呵。像我一樣投胎成人工智能，你願意麼？」
　　「啊⋯⋯」

The post 花期 appeared first on PRINCE AWFUL's.

That night, winking stars decorated the peaceful sky curtain as usual. Our protagonist Audrey was on an ordinary business trip in Manila. She felt hungry all of a sudden, and walked in a nearby local restaurant. She browsed the menu, and found a familiar-looking fish name there, then confidently ordered the dish ‘steamed saba’. Not long, a plate full with steamed bananas was served to her table. She stared at the bananas with a face expecting some magic to happen. Maybe they’re all filled with fish meat, she thought. Seconds later, she realised this story was not a fairy tale or even in fantasy genre. Banana is just banana. Fish! She turned to the waiter with a strong urge to complain.

This isn’t a ghost or love story either, but an awkward moment with cultural misunderstanding. The spoiler? Blame the fish word that sounds similar in two languages, but differs significantly in meaning. Ironically, such a word is named ‘false friend’ in linguistics. Friend? Hmm… Have you heard about the cliche of a British bloke talking about ‘football’ to an American dude… Yeah, that’s the friend. Got it?

When Parker Pen entered Mexican market, it advertised that the pen ‘won’t leak in your pocket and embarrass you’. The phrase was mistranslated as ‘no te embarazará chorreándose en tu bolsillo’, which means ‘won’t leak in your pocket and impregnate you’ in Spanish. Well, is impregnating someone so embarrassing? It’s wonder of life… I don’t believe it’s a true story. But the claimed translator should be embarrassed to mix up Spanish embarazada ([embaɾaˈθaða]), with its English friend embarrassed ([ɛmˈbarəst]).

False friends could be identical twins too. They just look exactly the same. In Japanese Kanji, 手紙 (tegami) means a letter, which is written by hands (手) on paper (紙). Its Chinese friend 手紙 (shou3 zhi3), unfortunately stands for toilet paper, which is paper (紙) used by hands (手) to clean… Shit, hope this won’t lead to another Sino-Japanese war.

Sometimes, the false friend drives you crazy in everyday life. If you’re buying chips in London, you get French fries, although you just want same potato crisps in New York… As George Bernard Shaw famously said, “England and America are two countries separated by a common language”. Even the same language may have different meanings contextually. For Mandarin, if you ask for 土豆 (ㄊㄨˇ ㄉㄡˋ) in Taipei, peanuts will be given as they’re small beans (豆) grown in soil (土); 土豆 (tu3 dou4) in Shanghai? You should expect large beans (豆) grown in soil (土) — potatoes… Yay, potato is such a good friend no matter you’re Chinese, Briton or American.

Back to Manila, where saba in Tagalog language is actually a common cooking banana. Steamed banana is popular among Filipinos. Coincidentally, our poor protagonist only heard about 鯖の塩焼き (Saba Shioyaki or Grilled Mackerel), a seafood entrée in Japanese cuisine. So she couldn’t possibly understand how did her mackerel become banana in that strange starry night.

Fin (Hey I’m French, not a part of your fish…).

The post Who’s Your True Friend, Fish or Banana? appeared first on PRINCE AWFUL's.

世界末日那天你在寫詩
窗邊斜陽伴隨筆尖流逝
美景良辰也終有盡時
紅塵兒女將學會懂事
就算相信人生如戲
風雨彩虹仍難預期
看不透追名逐利
誰甘願顛沛流離
若為俗事執著
難免徬徨失措
何須怕落寞
前路比海闊
紛飛勞燕
天涯眷戀
醉幾年
半夢間
癡心
有情
命
定

The post 牽 appeared first on PRINCE AWFUL's.

　　細雨霏霏初春夜，我兩手空空站在澳洲牛奶公司門外，緩緩抬頭仰望皓月星空。鬼話連篇！下雨天上沒有月亮好不好⋯⋯　街對面靠跑車抽煙的西裝大叔看表情估計想衝來掐死我。別以為在香港街頭迷路忘記帶傘手機沒電就可以扮文藝黃金小時代！我鎮定地從袋裡掏出一塊澳洲巧克力餅乾咬了一口。

　　油尖旺一帶永遠燈紅酒綠，冷雨寒夜亦不例外。佐敦彌敦我連走九遍依然熙攘新鮮。疲憊的中產剛放工匆匆行過，焦慮的師奶正搶購最後折扣，徬徨的外勞在街頭閒敘自樂，半醉的洋漢攜友人無處尋歡。我也不清楚自己在幹甚麼，散漫走到街口發呆，幻想轉角會遇見⋯⋯　還沒想好，警察已經過來叫我「唔好阻街」。我尷尬地笑了笑，繼續走下去。

　　香港軒尼詩、上海南京西、臺北忠孝東，我喜歡漫步這些悠長老街。不拍照，不問路，不著急。東張西望，完全瞎逛。賞景，閱人，見世態。這時，耳邊響起那首熟悉的蕭邦夜曲九章二段，配霓虹雨絲夜色，悠揚且浪漫⋯⋯　哦，那是電話鈴聲，我手機在袋裡充電呢。啊，甚麼？不在香港？那我來錯地方了呀⋯⋯　哈哈哈。夜曲真好聽。再仰望一次吧。

The post 小插曲 appeared first on PRINCE AWFUL's.

Everyone has past and future. But not everything has a direction. Thus we can’t travel through time as we like. To refer to a point of time, we have to make use of spatial metaphor to reason it. We convince ourselves, time is on a line: up & down, left & right, front & back. And, here comes interesting cultural difference.

In English, we’re used to past on the left, future on the right. See how dates are arranged in our calendars. Because our words are written from left to right. But that’s not universal. You may heard that, Chinese language is traditionally written from top to bottom. That influenced the Chinese’s mindset of past is on top of now, and future’s lower. Sounds strange? In practical Chinese writing, previous month is referred as ‘the month above’ (上個月), and next month is ‘the month below’ (下個月). Likewise, Hebrew speakers treat time from right to left.

It’s all about how your brain builds the time-space model. There was a research by Stanford University asking people a seemingly simple question: ‘Next Wednesday’s meeting has been moved forward two days. What day will the meeting be on?‘ Monday? Friday? The sequence of dates in your mind already has the answer.

The post Which Direction Is Your Future? appeared first on PRINCE AWFUL's.

　　我放緩腳步，佇候在金沙煩囂走廊邊。望過去，對臺鋪滿國際影展紅毯，正私映一齣文藝好戲。恰逢導演也在場，筆挺俊朗，面帶微笑。他自稱姓趙，係緬甸華裔。在南洋遇上趙姓華人，我總一廂情願地臆想他們血緣可上溯宋代宗室。雖說南宋末年皇族逃難或有流亡安南緬甸暹羅諸邦，但世間已過千年，頗難考證。厓門海戰後趙氏多數留居廣東，只可惜不少後人在文革浩劫中丟了族譜。依「禮失而求諸野」一說，海外遺珠確有可能。法國畫家趙無極，香港藏家趙泰來皆自居宋王後裔，姑且信之。

　　戲中講述緬國華裔非法移民泰國打工的血淚史，想必定有趙導親歷或耳聞摻雜。片名取作《再見瓦城》，可全劇至終絲毫未提「瓦城」，實在蹊蹺。瓦城乃緬甸古都，古往今來皆屬重鎮，地位僅次仰光。三百多年前，南明永曆帝避清逃至此地，獲緬王收留。不巧緬王之弟弒兄篡位，平西王吳三桂又追兵臨城。新緬王無奈獻出永曆歸降。此時京城韃子皇帝染天花駕崩，幼主繼位是為康熙元年。吳氏擄永曆回昆明後，為免夜長夢多，旋即處死。南明就此劇終。大批遺老遺少隨王赴緬，但終究事與願違，只好留下世居緬北，由清廷任命楊姓土司管治。兩百年後，大清式微，被迫簽約將此邊陲交由大英帝國種植鴉片，從此毒禍蔓延，氾濫至今。

　　如今緬軍政府可不管你趙錢孫李祖宗十八代，在北部撣邦就算是土生華人也拿不到公民身份。有志青年若不想靠販毒發家，最好考慮南下鄰邦泰國闖蕩一番。拿不到護照，當然得偷渡，合情合理。趙導便來自撣邦樞紐臘戌，自幼勤學，高中時舉闔家之力半年籌得數千美金，孝敬層層官員，換來緬國護照，終可留學臺灣。他後來師從名導侯氏，近幾年獨立製片書寫緬華悲歌，送展歐美獲獎一二，倍受人文份子關注。他用一口流利的臺灣國語對我說，這部商業片只是談情說愛而已。

　　當然並非如此。影片故事很簡單，劇中主角蓮青從臘戌偷渡曼谷打工，千辛萬苦甚至賣身籌款，只為走險換一紙泰人身份。前半段紀實平鋪乏味日常，接下來不慌不忙托出戲肉。蓮青一心盤算著拿泰國護照後或遠走臺灣新生。可男友阿國只想在工廠賣力攢夠錢回老家做小生意。「去臺灣還不是打工……」他的疑惑簡單直接，卻是一道深奧的人生哲學題。

　　我告訴趙導，自己曾籌謀要浪跡花旗。登上新大陸後，我自立中產，娶妻生子。小女彈古箏，犬子揮書法。沒過幾年我投資失利妻離子散，接著潦倒酗酒，每月被前妻追討贍養費，每年僅寒暑得見兒女。他們完全不會華文，只懂嗑藥飆車不務正業。去年我看完賈導近作《山河故人》，頓感心有戚戚焉。那部片不過是講社會變遷，家庭悲歡，和異鄉情結。後半段主角已移民澳洲，全程均以英語對白。而《再見瓦城》片中主角皆是華人，交流自然會用通行緬北的西南官話。趙導雖已入籍臺灣，但應該還記得怎麽說家鄉話吧。我接著講，其實我也是從小聽講西南官話長大的。趙導笑了笑，並不作答。

　　滿清貴族鈕祜祿氏後人豆導前年有一部作品《軍中樂園》談金門軍妓史。其中一幕侍應生阿嬌因故被操山東口音的國軍士官長老張激怒，她無情地用閩南口音還了一句：「你們這些外省仔，一輩子都回不去啦！」其實我們需要回去嗎？我正想問趙導，可不知何時他已不見蹤影，或許他根本就不曾來過。我環顧金沙華麗四圍，彷彿大夢一場將醒，心裡思量：山河故人空念遠，何不重整衣冠，踏步塵世再向前……

定稿於丙申冬月廿一

The post 幾度月明 appeared first on PRINCE AWFUL's.

We know, Mr. Mark Zuckerberg was trying to please the world’s largest market, where unfortunately the government blocked his most valuable property for years. Once, he even claimed he’s Chinese during a trip to Mainland China. By marrying an American lady of Chinese descent, he really thinks he’s a little more Chinese than ever, although he probably cannot tell the difference between China Proper and Greater China. Actually it doesn’t matter. No Chinese will take his phony statement serious at all, because it’s universally acknowledged that it’s almost impossible to turn a Caucasian into a real Chinese.

With narrow definition of Chinese as People’s Republic of China citizen, it won’t be difficult to acquire such identity for rich man like Mr. Zuckerberg, by simply throwing greenbacks in some poor Chinese faces. Next, he could hire some senior professors from Peking University to coach him to master spoken & written Chinese in 30 days. Last, he should learn to conform to the government’s will, by never visiting any blacklisted websites such as Facebook.

No. No. Nope. This is just Chinese stereotyping bullshit. Sadly Mr. Zuckerburg has almost zero chance to be recognised as Chinese in lifetime. However, his daughter, Max, could be considered as Chinese, no matter she cares or not.

The post From Yankee to Chinaman appeared first on PRINCE AWFUL's.

　　大清帝國內閣李總理於光緒廿二年率團訪美，成就了北美招牌中菜「李鴻章雜碎」。英文稱chop suey，以粵音輔義，譯得不錯。幾年後，大清叛臣廣東人梁啟超逃來新大陸，嚐過這道經典李氏雜碎，非常不以為然。^【註一】在花旗民間，雜碎早贏盡人心。於流行文化中，最知名莫過於爵士樂大師路易阿姆斯壯（Louis Armstrong）自創雜碎短號（Cornet Chop Suey）演奏。後來更有爵士樂手錄製一曲《我不在時，誰人為你切雜碎（Who’ll Chop Your Suey (When I’m Gone)）》，光看歌名就知深情款款。

　　英文收錄外族詞彙並非罕有。譬如英文自古稱「幫助」為help，到中世紀後期貪圖舊法文assister和aidier高雅，引入寫作assist和aid。其實兩詞舊法文源自拉丁文assistere和adjuvare。拉丁文在中世紀等同於歐洲共同語，與英文關係千絲萬縷，三言兩語說不清。後來英王國遠征殖民大獲全勝，英文隨日不落帝國席捲全球，成為今日世界官話，當然也順道掠來不少外文為己用。

　　至於華文借入，不過近幾百年的事，零零碎碎，以收入牛津字典（Oxford English Dictionary）纔算有了名份。先行者皆是異數，如陰陽（yin / yang (1671)）、風水（feng-shui (1797)）和道（tao (1704)）等東方玄幻，以及人參（ginseng (1654)）、茶葉（cha (1616) or tea (1655)）和箸（chop-stick (1699)）等稀奇珍品。後來乾隆爺為難英使叩頭之風波，令叩頭（kow-tow (1804)）一詞隨花邊家喻戶曉。^【註二】百年前宣統帝遜位，大清雖終結但民國征戰連年，好在有曾入美籍的國父孫文及一幫庚款書生大力促進文化交流。^【註三】國粹也在此亂世聲名遠播，如「旗袍（cheongsam）」、「點心（dim sum）」、「麻雀（mah-jong）」等。^【註四】二戰美軍借用「工業合作社」簡稱「工合（gung-ho）」一詞，代稱通力合作全力苦幹之精神，還拍成同名勵志電影。這跟幸運曲奇（fortune cookie）類似，看似中華傳統，卻只有美國人會懂。再稍晚入典的最佳代表必屬「功夫（kung-fu）」，不用想都能猜到是當年由美國李姓演員發揚光大。

　　前些年牛津新晉備選了一批華文入英，包括「大媽（dama）」、「戶口（hukou）」和「土豪（tuhao）」等，聽來似乎頗有嘲諷之意。個人向來偏好以韋氏拼法（Wade-Giles）作漢字名詞音譯，因為從字形上更符合英文拼寫規則。由慣用英文的大眾看來，chop suey比漢語拼音za sui順眼多了。這並非貶低周老前輩漢字拉丁化之創新^【註五】。只是漢語拼音方案未免過於著重國人自用，顧此失彼，混入正統英文略顯不倫不類。當然數百年前英文若混入正統拉丁文也可能會被貴族譏笑醜陋不堪。其實漢字何必要拉丁化自尋煩惱，正體原裝方塊字美感十足，用於羅馬字間勝過插圖。要音譯的話，留給洋人自己解決就好。

註一：梁任公於光緒廿三年戊戌變法後敗走海外，並結識孫文諸輩。他混跡日本多年，曾赴美考察民主，後撰寫《新大陸遊記》比鑒中美，毅然放棄共和。他遊美期間嚐過雜碎，稱「然其所謂雜碎者，烹飪殊劣，中國人從無就食者」，此話恐怕屬有意貶低李氏。

註二：大清帝國鼎盛時期，英使馬戛爾尼伯爵(George Macartney, 1st Earl Macartney)赴京賀乾隆爺八十大壽順道簽約通商，禮部以為小國朝貢，便要求覲見時行三跪九叩之禮。馬伯爵不從，遂起爭執，後協議改單膝下跪，不必叩頭。之後兩國通商事宜未果，馬伯爵回國反省，認為錯失根本在於行程中兩國翻譯低劣而致諸多誤解。

註三：廣東人孫文早年遠渡檀香山打工，順道購得當地出生證明，後來赴美時以此獲得美國護照。他長年流亡海外，不斷拉攏美國僑民黑白兩道，以助革命大業。八國聯軍庚子年出兵中國獲賠款四億五千萬兩，後來美英皆部分退款，教育部便以此為外派留洋經費。當時不少高材生得以考取官費赴英美留學，如胡適、錢鍾書、童第周、楊振寧等，一眾後來皆成當世名流。

註四：旗袍，原意指「旗人之袍」，南方稱「長衫」。按粵語音譯為cheongsam。點心屬廣東菜，自然按粵音譯。麻雀，乃江南人棋牌遊戲，按吳語發音譯為mah-jong。今亦稱「麻將」。

註五：周有光先生年少曾留學日本習經濟，後任職銀行，業餘研究文字改革。中共建政後受邀協助漢語拼音方案。他鑽研北京官話，提議採用j，q，x標示ㄐ、ㄑ、ㄒ發音，並引入德文常用字母ü。該拉丁化方案更適於官話發音，符合中央一統國語之政策，遂獲全力推行。威妥瑪（Wade-Giles）則依國際音標準則，可用於官話、閩語、粵語、吳語等拼寫，更便於英語受眾讀寫。

The post 雜碎英文 appeared first on PRINCE AWFUL's.

Apparently you’re not an infant if you’re reading this. Then why should you be one? Though it sounds reasonable, learning a new language like an infant is actually not what you think.

Does an infant acquire a new language in order to pass an exam? Probably not. For them, it’s more about better communication to survive. Infants learn to speak from words they hear all around them. The statistical frequency of particular sounds affects the infant brain.

Nevertheless, simulating such influential environment for adults isn’t easy at all. Listening to BBC for 24/7 won’t help you master RP like King George, but getting sick of British politics instead. Research shows, infants fail to learn a language naturally if they’re only exposed to that language by television or radio, other than live speakers. Human interaction with social context is contributing to the learning process significantly.

Don’t be naïve. We’re grown-ups. Travel to the origin land, live in a neighbourhood, eat local dishes, and date a native speaker. You’ll be definitely learning the language much better than any infant.

The post Learning Language Like Infants? Forget It. appeared first on PRINCE AWFUL's.