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The Twin Hells, an 1880s prison memoir

simon — Mon, 31 Aug 2026 23:20:50 +0000

READERSVOICE.COM aims to give a few samples from interesting old books I’ve come across.

John N. Reynolds made a positive out of a negative situation. In 1887 he was sentenced to 18 months for using the mails for fraudulent purposes. He served 16 months in the Kansas penitentiary. He dug coal for six months in the prison coal mines. There he talked to many Kansas prisoners eight hundred feet below the surface. He also shared cells with prisoners who had been in the Missouri prison and learned their stories. Later he became a prison clerk. He was allowed writing materials. In the evening he would return to his cell and write down stories he had heard. He used short-hand, so prison officials could not read his notes and did not know what he was doing. He recorded the histories of 500 prisoners. When he was released, he visited the Missouri prison to verify stories. The result is the memoir The Twin Hells, published around 1890. These are factual stories, with fast, uncluttered plots, recording a vanished way of life.

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The Twin Hells p2

simon — Mon, 31 Aug 2026 23:12:03 +0000

A cattle thief and moonshiner…

Doc. Crunk was a Texas outlaw behind the walls of the Kansas prison. The author wrote his words: The way our moonshiner’s nest was found out is very romantic. A young woman came into the district, and tried to get up a school, seemingly, but failed. I guess she did not try very hard to get scholars. At any rate she remained with a family in the neighbourhood for some time, whom she claimed were her relatives. One of my men fell desperately in love with this young woman. He would be out riding with her, and, as none of us suspected anything, he would at times bring her over to our camp, and we taught her how to make whisky. She seemed deeply interested in the business. I told the boys several times that I was a little afraid of that ‘gal,‘ but they laughed at me, and so I said, ‘I can stand it if the rest of you can.’ She even went so far as to become familiarly acquainted with all of us. We all got to thinking that she was a nice young woman, and her lover simply thought he had secured the finest prize in the world. But alas! At the proper time she fixed our camp. She proved to be a female detective from New York City. She gave away our fellows. And soon we were surrounded by a posse of U.S. marshals and their deputies. Her lover was captured and is now in the Texas penitentiary. Several of our boys were killed or wounded, and those of us who escaped made up our minds to go back to the old cattle trade.”

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The Twin Hells p3

simon — Mon, 31 Aug 2026 23:10:19 +0000

A murder for money…

McNutt got his life insured for $5,000, his wife being his beneficiary. It was a dark, stormy night when McNutt and Winner enticed into this paint shop an unsuspecting mutual friend. Here they murdered him in cold blood. They then set fire to the paint shop and took to flight. After the fire was put out, the charred remains of the murdered man were found, and supposed to be those of McNutt, the owner of the building. The wife, cognizant of the awful deed which her husband had committed, followed the remains of the murdered man to the grave, dressed in her garb of mourning.

Shortly after this she applied for the insurance money on her husband’s life. Some doubts were raised as to the identity of the body. Detectives were employed to make an investigation of the case. They made use of a deception, and thus got the woman to confess. They told her that they had found an accomplice who had confessed the crime, and was in jail. They promised the wife that if she would tell the truth they would not prosecute her. She consented. She narrated the sickening events as they had been plotted in her presence and under her roof. Officers were now despatched to find the murderers. McNutt was found in Missouri plowing corn. Winner was found near Wichita. They were brought to trial, convicted, and sent to prison for life.

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The Twin Hells p4

simon — Mon, 31 Aug 2026 23:05:42 +0000

While on a sick bed in the prison hospital of the Kansas penitentiary, the author talked to a former thief of horses and other goods…

The ex-thief was an assistant of the prison physician and tended to the sick. He was highly appreciated. He had stolen nearly two thousand horses until he was caught. The author writes: “In Kansas City he had a suite of rooms fitted up in elegant style, and kept a mistress. Upon this woman he squandered all his money, obtained honestly and dishonestly.”

The author wrote the ex-thief’s words: “One day on the streets of Kansas City I accidentally met an ex-convict whom I knew while in Jefferson City penitentiary. He was penniless and somewhat shabby. He suspected me of crooked work, and wanted to go with me on a ‘horse raid.’ At first I refused to take him with me, as it has always been my rule to go alone when in the crooked business. He persisted and urged me to let him go along. At last I yielded to his appeals, and we stared from Kansas City. I have never been back since. My ‘pal’ was cuahgt on this trip and offered to turn State’s evidence if he could regain his liberty. He was allowed to do this. I was tried and got a ten years’ sentence. He went free.”

“What became of the woman?” I asked.

“When in jail in Leavenworth and in need of money to pay my lawyer, I wrote her a letter informing her of my trouble, and begged her to send me some money. She forgot to answer that letter, and I have never seen or hear from her since that time.”

He said: “When I get out I am going to lead an honest life and take care of my money. It does not pay to get money by crookedness. Such money never does one any good.”

Having imparted this information he bade me good night and went over to another part of the ward, where he took his place beside the cot of a dying convict.

-See The Twin Hells by John N. Reynolds, published 1890. A copy of the book can be read for free on the internet at a couple of sites.

Time to Laugh, 1944 p1

simon — Tue, 04 Aug 2026 10:12:36 +0000

READERSVOICE.COM aims to give a few samples from interesting out of print books. This issue features a British joke book from WW2, Time to laugh by Maurice McLoughlin and John Cameron. Jokes, Stories, and howlers. Partridge Publications, London. This was a small paperback, almost a magazine. No publication date, but there is an ad on the back cover for Yeast-Vite Tablets, with testimonials written by satisfied customers in September 1944. There are a lot of wartime gag cartoons in the book.

Time to Laugh includes some of their single panel cartoons which had appeared in Punch, and in the sister publications Tatler and Bystander (1903-40). Bystander merged into Tatler in 1940. Here is a selection of their gags, some of which are still heard in various forms today.

***

A WEALTHY-looking man walked into the saloon bar of a public house. “I’ll give five pounds to anybody who can drink five pints of beer in two minutes.” Everyone laughed except one small man in a bowler hat, who pushed through the crowd and went out of the door. After about five minutes he returned and went up to the wealthy man and said, “Is that offer still on?” “Yes, if you can do it,” came the answer. The little man then proceeded to order five pints and drank them up with ten seconds to spare. The wealthy one was amazed, and paying over the five pounds said, “Good gracious. How ever did you manage to do it?” The little man replied, “Well, I wasn’t so sure, so I went over to the ‘Red Lion’ and timed myself.”

MINISTER: “What was the reason for your husband rising and walking out during my sermon yesterday?”

Mrs. Mackenzie: “You shouldn’t take any notice o’ that. He can’t stop himself from walking in his sleep.”

“JUST think, three thousand seals were used to make fur coats last year.”

“Isn’t it wonderful that they can train animals to do such work!”

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Time to Laugh, 1944 p2

simon — Tue, 04 Aug 2026 10:06:16 +0000

Some more WW2 British humor…

THE works manager was interviewing a new lad.

“What’s your name my lad?”

“Ford, sir.”

“And your Christian name?”

“Henry, sir.”

“A very well-known name if I may say so,” said the works manager.

“Yes, sir. I’ve been delivering groceries around here for two years now.”

PRETTY CUSTOMER: “May I try that dress on in the window?”

Assistant: “Oh, no, Madam. The manager would not like it. But you could us the private fitting- room.”

THE Royal Mint is what the King and Queen put on their roast lamb.

WE REMEMBER hearing, somewhere or other, that they had to discontinue the Roman holidays because of the overhead. The lions were eating up the prophets.

A MAN called into a theatrical agent’s office, and asked if his two performing dogs could have an audition. The agent told him to let them go ahead. After they had gone through all their tricks, the smaller dog turned to the agent and said, “Well, how did it go?” The agent jumped out of his chair, turned to the dog’s owner and said, “Good Heavens! Does that little dog talk?” “Of course it doesn’t,” answered the trainer. “The bigger dog is a ventriloquist.”

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Time to Laugh, 1944 p3

simon — Tue, 04 Aug 2026 10:04:19 +0000

Some more wartime jokes, some of which are still told today.,..

A MAN applied for a job at a circus. The owner said there was nothing doing, unless the man would care to dress up in a monkey-skin and play about in the next cage to the lions, to amuse the customers. The man thought this would suit him, so he climbed into the skin and climbed into the cage from the back. He started shaking the bars and jumping about, until quite a crowd gathered around. Suddenly he saw two lions in the corner of the cage. He had climbed into the wrong cage! Immediately he started yelling for help. One of the lions walked over and having cornered him, opened his mouth and said, “Keep quiet you fool! You’ll get us all the sack!”

THE wife of Noah was Joan of Arc.

As is often the case in war-time, the football team were a man short. The captain asked a spectator if he would play in goal for the team. The spectator agreed, and having changed, took up his position in the goal mouth. The first time the opposing forwards swept down they put the ball in the goal without the keeper seeming to make any effort to stop it. The next time the same thing happened: the captain became angry, and addressing his substitute goalkeeper said, “Why on earth don’t you try and stop the ball!” The goalkeeper replied, “What do I want to stop it for? There’s a big enough net there, then I’ve only got to pick it out!”

-See Time To Laugh by Maurice McLoughlin and John Cameron, Partridge Publications, London. 1944.

Constance Tomkinson p1

simon — Fri, 03 Jul 2026 12:04:40 +0000

READERSVOICE.COM aims to give a few interesting samples from out of print books. There is a good account of a clown’s performance in Les Girls, a 1956 memoir by Constance Tomkinson (1915-1995). Ms Tomkinson was an adventurous Canadian who travelled Europe performing as a dancer in the late 1930s.

Ms Tomkinson had gone to a drama school in New York in 1934. Then she performed in a pantomime in London. In 1937 she became one of eight singers and dancers in the chorus line of the Millerettes, a singing and dancing troupe managed by Trixie Miller and her husband. They travelled to Sweden but ran out of work in Gothenburg. So Ms Tomkinson and several of her fellow dancers traveled to Paris. She performed with the Folies-Bergère. Later the author joined an English group called the Basil Beauties, managed by Reginald Basil, and they toured Germany, the Netherlands and Italy in the years just before WW2. At one stage they joined a revue in Italy run by a clown named Charlie Rivel. Here she describes the clown’s routine.

Ms Tomkinson writes: When the cast of the ‘Rivel’s Carnevale’ collected in Naples there were no animals among us, but the Rivel family had lived and worked under canvas for so long that they carried the atmosphere of a circus with them. During rehearsals we watched Charlie Rivel, an insignificant little man in a brown jacket, meander about the stage with his fellow clowns, Alfredino and Pauli, muttering a few lines and giving faint indications of mime and movement.

‘It’s pathetic,’ I said, ‘when you think he was once a famous clown.’

‘I don’t believe he ever was,’ Kit was emphatic.

‘He never played Olympia,’ Carol declared. ‘Reggie’s just dreamed that up.’

‘Oh, I think he was something once,’ I insisted.

‘He’s got such a sad face,’ remarked Babs. ‘He knows he’s finished.’

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Constance Tomkinson p2

simon — Fri, 03 Jul 2026 11:55:52 +0000

Farther along in the chapter Travelling Circus, from her 1956 memoir Les Girls, Ms Tomkinson continues her account of a performance by Spanish clown Charlie Rivel (1896-1983)…

Naples was noted for its tough audiences. We listened as we sang for the whistles of disapproval, but they did not come. In the wings we passed Paulina Rivel standing with her younger brothers flushed and eager, waiting to go on. They were only children and for them to go out on that stage seemed like throwing Christians to the lions…

We were in our dressing-room when Charlie Rivel went on, and in the distance we heard a commotion.

‘I knew it,’ said Carol.

‘They’re howling like banshees.’ Kit crossed the room. ‘Poor devil!’ She opened the door and a great wave of laughter rolled in. Stunned for a moment, we looked at each other in bewilderment and then rushed to the side of the stage. We had only to watch Charlie Rivel and his fellow clowns for two minutes to realize the show would probably run forever.

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Constance Tomkinson p3

simon — Fri, 03 Jul 2026 11:53:46 +0000

Constance Tomkinson continues her account of Charlie Rivel circus clown in her 1956 memoir Les Girls…

The little man, who had walked through the rehearsals as if in a coma, was a brilliant clown. You merely looked at the bulbous red nose, bald wig fringed with tufts of frowsy hair, eyebrows curved in an exaggerated arch of astonishment, and you laughed. He wore loose trousers with a bright red jersey, which came down to his knees and his shoes extended beyond his feet like huge flippers. Pauli, in a shrunken undershirt and baggy check pants held up by bits of string, wore an expression of great fierceness under his battered felt hat. Alfredino, a white-faced clown, elegantly dressed in close-fitting jacket, knee-length breeches and white conical hat, carried himself with dignity. He was the ‘clever’ one. When her performed some acrobatic feat with ease and finesse, Charlie overcome by his virtuosity clapped his hands with glee, and skipped around the stage like a child crying exstatically, ‘Acroba-at.’

Pauli attempted to copy Alfredino and clumsily succeeded. It was Charlies’ turn.

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