readersvoice.com

Constance Tomkinson p1

simon — Fri, 03 Jul 2026 12:04:40 +0000

READERSVOICE.COM aims to give a few interesting samples from out of print books. There is a good account of a clown’s performance in Les Girls, a 1956 memoir by Constance Tomkinson (1915-1995). Ms Tomkinson was an adventurous Canadian who travelled Europe performing as a dancer in the late 1930s.

Ms Tomkinson had gone to a drama school in New York in 1934. Then she performed in a pantomime in London. In 1937 she became one of eight singers and dancers in the chorus line of the Millerettes, a singing and dancing troupe managed by Trixie Miller and her husband. They travelled to Sweden but ran out of work in Gothenburg. So Ms Tomkinson and several of her fellow dancers traveled to Paris. She performed with the Folies-Bergère. Later the author joined an English group called the Basil Beauties, managed by Reginald Basil, and they toured Germany, the Netherlands and Italy in the years just before WW2. At one stage they joined a revue in Italy run by a clown named Charlie Rivel. Here she describes the clown’s routine.

Ms Tomkinson writes: When the cast of the ‘Rivel’s Carnevale’ collected in Naples there were no animals among us, but the Rivel family had lived and worked under canvas for so long that they carried the atmosphere of a circus with them. During rehearsals we watched Charlie Rivel, an insignificant little man in a brown jacket, meander about the stage with his fellow clowns, Alfredino and Pauli, muttering a few lines and giving faint indications of mime and movement.

‘It’s pathetic,’ I said, ‘when you think he was once a famous clown.’

‘I don’t believe he ever was,’ Kit was emphatic.

‘He never played Olympia,’ Carol declared. ‘Reggie’s just dreamed that up.’

‘Oh, I think he was something once,’ I insisted.

‘He’s got such a sad face,’ remarked Babs. ‘He knows he’s finished.’

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Constance Tomkinson p2

simon — Fri, 03 Jul 2026 11:55:52 +0000

Farther along in the chapter Travelling Circus, from her 1956 memoir Les Girls, Ms Tomkinson continues her account of a performance by Spanish clown Charlie Rivel (1896-1983)…

Naples was noted for its tough audiences. We listened as we sang for the whistles of disapproval, but they did not come. In the wings we passed Paulina Rivel standing with her younger brothers flushed and eager, waiting to go on. They were only children and for them to go out on that stage seemed like throwing Christians to the lions…

We were in our dressing-room when Charlie Rivel went on, and in the distance we heard a commotion.

‘I knew it,’ said Carol.

‘They’re howling like banshees.’ Kit crossed the room. ‘Poor devil!’ She opened the door and a great wave of laughter rolled in. Stunned for a moment, we looked at each other in bewilderment and then rushed to the side of the stage. We had only to watch Charlie Rivel and his fellow clowns for two minutes to realize the show would probably run forever.

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Constance Tomkinson p3

simon — Fri, 03 Jul 2026 11:53:46 +0000

Constance Tomkinson continues her account of Charlie Rivel circus clown in her 1956 memoir Les Girls…

The little man, who had walked through the rehearsals as if in a coma, was a brilliant clown. You merely looked at the bulbous red nose, bald wig fringed with tufts of frowsy hair, eyebrows curved in an exaggerated arch of astonishment, and you laughed. He wore loose trousers with a bright red jersey, which came down to his knees and his shoes extended beyond his feet like huge flippers. Pauli, in a shrunken undershirt and baggy check pants held up by bits of string, wore an expression of great fierceness under his battered felt hat. Alfredino, a white-faced clown, elegantly dressed in close-fitting jacket, knee-length breeches and white conical hat, carried himself with dignity. He was the ‘clever’ one. When her performed some acrobatic feat with ease and finesse, Charlie overcome by his virtuosity clapped his hands with glee, and skipped around the stage like a child crying exstatically, ‘Acroba-at.’

Pauli attempted to copy Alfredino and clumsily succeeded. It was Charlies’ turn.

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Constance Tomkinson p4

simon — Fri, 03 Jul 2026 11:52:25 +0000

Constance Tomkinson continues her account of clown Charlie Rivel…

After ridiculous preparations he tripped over his flippers in to a forward somersault, knocking down both partners as he landed on his face. Alfredino gave Charlie an angry slap and he and Pauli retired to the other side of the stage to continue their tricks. Charlie rocking back and forth whimpering, ‘Alfredino, fate male,’ was a haunting little figure. But he perked up and giving his tight jersey another tug to bring it down to his ankles he waddled over to the others wistfully pleading to play. They condescended to allow him to join in. Attempting another trick Charlie became involved in ludicrous slippings, impossible recoveries, astounding somersaults, and finally, by what appeared an accident, succeeded. Jumping for joy he did an ‘accidental’ back flip. Behind the brilliant clowning was an amazing acrobatic technique. Nobody had to tell us we were watching a great artist.

-See Constance Tomkinson’s memoir Les Girls, published 1956.

Toowoomba, Strange and Unusual Tales p1

simon — Tue, 02 Jun 2026 00:04:27 +0000

READERSVOICE.com aims to give a few samples from interesting out of print books. Here are a few humorous items from Toowoomba, Strange and Unusual Tales, Volume 1, by Don Talbot and John Larkin, published 2003. Toowoomba is a city in the mountain ranges west of Brisbane. The authors collected the stories of Toowoomba’s past from members of the Toowoomba community.

The stories are a mix of serious and humorous items. Here are some of the more amusing memories.

An Anglican priest loved restoring church organs and making stained glass windows for different denominations. The authors write: He had a great sense of humour and believed that no priest was worth his salt if he couldn’t follow in Christ’s footsteps and do things with his hands.

Father John was enthusiastic in his work. At one time, when he was building an organ in his home, which also served as his workshop, he placed more and more pipes in position and was enthralled by the result. But then his face changed as he realised that the completed church organ was now too big to leave the house through a normal door. A wall had to be removed for the exit.

The book also mentions The Strand which was a movie theatre in Toowoomba. During WW2 many soldiers were based in Toowoomba, including US personnel. Toowoomba can become quite cold in winter. Some of the soldiers would buy hot meat pies and use them as foot warmers during the movie.

Another item concerned the Chinese community in Toowoomba, including the enterprising market gardeners that were in many Australian towns. The Chinese people held traditional festivals and funerals. The authors write: The Chinese always left gifts of food including fruit on the graves and it was not known if they knew of the children watching from behind other gravestones, waiting for the mourners to depart.

And the authors wrote of the steep range on which Toowoomba sits. The authors write: Pioneers in T-model Fords found that first gear was not low enough to negotiate the climb and they would often use the lower reverse gear and drive backwards up the mountain slope.

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Toowoomba, Strange and Unusual Tales p2

simon — Mon, 01 Jun 2026 23:55:10 +0000

The Michaels Store in Ruthven Street…

The book mentions a store proprietor named Nayef Michael George, a member of the Lebanese community in Toowoomba. He ran the Michaels store in Ruthven Street, the main street of Toowoomba, in the 1970s. He was known as George Michael. He was generous to the local churches when they made purchases. He was well dressed. And good at business. The authors say he was a “formidable proprietor whose mood could change on an hourly basis. If Mr Michael was in a good mood he would shower customers with gifts of fruit and vegetables. But if he was out of sorts, he would make everyone queue at the counter and then serve a person half-way along the queue.”

The authors write: On more than one occasion, when a shopper explained that she could buy similar linen from Saba’s down the street, he would berate them in front of other customers and even follow them out of the shop shouting at them not to come back.

And: Then there was the time when a woman wanted to buy a pair of new trousers for her husband. They were kept on a high shelf and Mr Michael called out to his assistant, ‘Jack get the ladder, get the trousers down and show the lady what you’ve got!’

But men were also the butt of the shop owner’s jokes. On one occasion a man, whose wife was in hospital, arrived at the shop to buy her some underwear and whispered his request in Mr Michael’s ear. Mr Michael bellowed over the queue, ‘Jack – three pairs of fleecy-lined bloomers for the gentleman’.

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Toowoomba, Strange and Unusual Tales p3

simon — Mon, 01 Jun 2026 23:50:41 +0000

Some items on the Toowoomba Royal show…

When the Toowoomba Royal Show was operating at the old show grounds in Campbell Street, there was one feisty pig farmer who got very annoyed if his sows didn’t take a prize.

While others were applauding the presentation in the ring, he, with smouldering tension reflected in his face, would take his pigs back slowly down the aisle of covered pens. On the way, he would flick open the latches on the gates of every pen in the aisle. With his own pigs properly penned, he would lean on the fence and watched the mayhem as other famers tried to capture dozens of pigs running loose in the showgrounds.

The authors continue: There was also another stud pig breeder who was noted for his mean habits. On arrival at the show, he would wander round the exhibitors’ pens and talk about the need to improve the diet for his stock. He would take a handful or two from each exhibitor until he had enough feed for his pigs to cover the period of the show. His other complaint was the ‘straw for this pigs’ bedding had been ordered but hadn’t turned up’ and if they could lend him a bale or two it would be great.

-See Toowoomba Strange and Unusual Tales, Volume 1, by Don Talbot and John Larkin. It features many more items, serious and humorous, collected by the authors from Toowoomba locals, published 2003.

Dinkum Aussie Yarns p1

simon — Mon, 04 May 2026 07:29:40 +0000

READERSVOICE.COM aims to give a few samples from interesting out of print books. This issue features Dinkum Aussie Yarns by Maurie Fields. Mr Fields (1926-1995) was a vaudeville comedian and actor. In later life he told jokes on a night-time variety tv show called Hey, Hey, It’s Saturday. The show ran from 1984 to 1999.

He was also the jokes editor for Australasian Post, which was a magazine featuring stories about real- life Australian characters. It ceased publication in 2002. Mr Fields’ joke books feature jokes from Australasian Post.

The books, which look like magazines, include Leave ‘em Laughing and Dinkum Aussie Yarns. Here are a few shorter samples from Dinkum Aussie Yarns. It’s well worth tracking down by anyone who likes old-fashioned but good jokes.

THE MINISTER of the local church discovered at the last minute that he hadn’t invited a little old lady to come to his garden party, so he rang her up and asked her to come.

“It’s too late,” said the little old lady. “I’ve already prayed for rain.”

THEN there’s the bloke [guy] who rolls up at work more than an hour late.

“You should have been here at nine o’clock!” snaps the boss.

“Why?” says the bloke, “what happened?”

A PSYCHIATRIST was talking to a woman whose husband thought he was a lawn mower.

“Just be patient for a while,” said the doctor. “It’s a harmless fantasy that will soon pass.”

“I hope so,” said the woman. “I’m getting sick of lending him to the neighbours.”

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Dinkum Aussie Yarns p2

simon — Mon, 04 May 2026 07:21:20 +0000

More jokes from Dinkum Aussie Yarns by Maurie Fields…

A BLOKE [a guy] goes into a chemist’s shop and asks for a cake of soap.

“Would you like it scented?” asked the chemist.

“No, thanks,” says the bloke, “I’ll take it with me.”

A YOUNG hippy bloke was up before the local beak [judge].

“Do you have a job?” asked the magistrate.

“Yes and no,” shrugged the young bloke.

“Well, where do you work?”

“Here and there.”

“Doing what?”

“This and that.”

The magistrate was losing his patience. “When do you work?” he demanded.

“Now and then.”

The magistrate sat back in his chair and said, “Take him away and lock him up.”

“What?” exclaimed the young bloke. “When will I get out?”

“Sooner or later,” said the magistrate.

“IS THAT the fire brigade?”

“Yes, sir, Can I help you?”

“Yes. Come quick! Me house is on fire!”

“Yes, sir, How do we get there?”

“Whadda yer mean, how do you get ‘ere? You’ve got one o’ them big red fire engines, ain’t yer?”

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Dinkum Aussie Yarns by Maurie Fields p3

simon — Mon, 04 May 2026 07:12:07 +0000

More jokes from Dinkum Aussie Yarns by Maurie Fields…

A MAN rushed up to the ticket window at the railway station.

“Quick, I’m in a hurry!” he said. “Give me a return ticket!”

“Where to!” asked the booking clerk.

“Where to?” said the man. “Why, to back here, of course!”

…THE SAME feller gets the sack, so he has a go at busking.

He’s standing there on a street corner, happily playing his banjo, when a copper walks up to him. “Do you have a licence to play the banjo in the street?” asks the copper.

“No,” says the bloke.

“In that case,” says the policeman, “I must ask you to accompany me.”

“Certainly, mate,” says the bloke. “What would you like to sing?”

A FATHER overheard his little boy saying his prayers. The boy said: “God bless mummy, daddy, grandma and goodbye grandad.”

Next day, grandad died.

The father listened to the little boy next night. He said: “God bless mummy, daddy, and goodbye grandma.”

Next day, grandma died.

That night the father was shocked to hear the little boy say: “God bless mummy, and goodbye daddy.”

Next day the father was very careful in everything he did. When he arrived home his wife said: “What a day! The milkman dropped dead on the doorstep this morning!”

-See Maurie Fields’ collections of traditional Australian jokes, like Dinkum Aussie Yarns. His books would be interesting to anyone who likes analysing classic gags. Some of these date to World War One and earlier.