When I was eight, I came down with the flu. Coincidentally, it was about the same time my Twilight DVD was delivered so, for two and a half weeks, I watched that movie obsessively – the deleted scenes, the commentary, every little detail. It was my first real introduction to the idea of love as an unwavering, never-ending commitment. And when I got engaged in August last year, Bella and Edward’s wedding became my inspiration. From the flowers to the music to the idea that love can be an intentional, loving choice between two people.

Throughout my life, I’ve been incredibly independent. I was the only girl among my brothers, watched my mum work on her own organisation, and shared so many similarities with my dad. Growing up, I learned the value of self-reliance, hard work, and carving my own path, and these lessons have guided me to finish college early, work at UNICEF, build trauma-informed programs, and even modelling in campaigns – all on my own terms. Those experiences taught me that independence and partnership can coexist; I can pursue my passions while also sharing a deep, intentional connection with someone I love. And now, they guide me into this next chapter of becoming a bride.

Being a feminist and a bride sometimes surprises people. When I shared my excitement online, I heard everything from “choice feminist” to “fake feminist.” Some suggested that wanting a wedding somehow negates the work I do every day. But feminism has always been about choice. It’s about the freedom to decide what’s right for you while advocating for the rights of others. Loving my fiancé, planning this wedding, and celebrating this new life doesn’t conflict with my values. In fact, it reinforces them.

For me, planning a wedding is about more than fabrics and frosting flavours, it’s about reimagining the institution itself as something that reflects choice, partnership, and agency. I want every part of the day to feel intentional and authentic. For example, my dad isn’t “giving me away”. Instead, I’ll walk down the aisle to meet my partner, where we both stand as equals. We’re also writing our own vows, selecting music and flowers that resonate with us, and exploring fashion that expresses who we are. Even the decision about changing my last name was mutual – a meaningful compromise rather than an obligation. 

Ultimately, weddings don’t have to follow a one-size-fits-all script. They should be a celebration of personal values, shared decisions, and the freedom to create traditions that actually reflect the people at their centre. For me, celebrating love and partnership in my own life reminds me how vital it is to fight for that same freedom for girls everywhere. According to UNICEF, 720 million women alive today were married as children (compared with 156 million men), and every year, 12 million girls are married before their 18th birthday. That’s a girl every three seconds who is forced into a life she didn’t choose. Child marriage steals education, health, and economic opportunity, leaving girls without the chance to determine their own futures. That’s why we’re including  VOW for Girls in our registry, to ensure girls have access to education, leadership training, and most importantly, choice. It’s a reminder that joy can coexist with responsibility. 

For me, feminism has always been about autonomy. Whether that’s choosing how to express myself, whom to love, or how to live my life, it’s the power to make decisions without being confined to someone else’s idea of what’s “appropriate.” And it’s important to me that other women know being excited about your wedding doesn’t make you any less of a feminist. It makes you human.

So yes, I’m a feminist. And yes, I’m a bride, too. I love planning this wedding, I love the chance to celebrate our partnership, and I love that I can use this moment to shine a light on girls who don’t yet have the same freedom. Feminism isn’t about rejecting weddings, or tradition, or partnership. It’s about ensuring that every girl, everywhere, has the power to say yes (or no!) to the life she wants.

About the Author

Synclaire Alexandria Warren is a dynamic Gender Equity Leader, Communications Strategist, Certified Full Spectrum Doula, and United Nations Foundation Keynote Speaker dedicated to advancing intersectional feminist principles.

With a Master’s in Humanitarian Studies specialising in Gender Equity, she combines academic rigor with professional experience and lived insights to develop impactful initiatives and shape public discourse. Synclaire’s approach is rooted in storytelling, using her platform to challenge outdated narratives, spark advocacy, and create lasting change. She is passionate about normalising conversations around girlhood, positive masculinity, reproductive rights, and gender-based violence, fostering understanding and empathy through nonviolent communication. Synclaire’s unique “feminist fairy brand” aesthetic and genuine connection with her audience have made her a trusted voice in the space.

Kelly and Andy chose Pioneertown, specifically the Desert Soundstage, as their October wedding venue. They and their 144 guests travelled out to the desert to eat, drink and be married! The couple wanted the day to feel cosy, unique, interactive.

They are both artists – Andy works in props for film and TV and Kelly is a photographer who also paints. They approached the wedding like a big art project. “My inspiration was heavily taken from the aesthetic of the Madonna Inn”, Kelly said. “I love vintage, and I really wanted to have a warm and cosy wedding. Even though we didn’t tell anybody, the wedding theme was based around the idea ‘everything and the kitsch-in-pink’. For us this meant a maximalist styled wedding saturated in colour and kitschy flair. Our theme was also flavoured by the location which added a rustic western edge.”

Andy created a ‘Tunnel of Love’ that told their story and ended with an instant photo setup. Kelly built a photo booth and they collected vintage ceramic animal vases for the tables. Two large tarot banners framed the stage, hand painted with the Two of Cups and Ten of Cups.

They made changes where they wanted to. Kelly walked down the aisle with her dad but did not want to be handed over, so she handed him back to her mum. They ended the ceremony as ‘partners for life’ rather than ‘husband and wife’. They also skipped the bouquet toss and did a T-shirt toss instead.

“Traditions are kinda weird… like why does the father of the bride hand his daughter to the groom?” Kelly said. “Isn’t treating the bride like property, I don’t know, kinda archaic? I think it’s worth questioning traditions because ultimately those out-dated rituals influence the meaning of your ceremony!”

A live band played for the ceremony and cocktail hour and friends handled the DJ sets after that with a playlist that moved from disco to an EDM remix of Circle of Life. The night ended with everyone singing along to All I Want for Christmas Is You. “Our friends circled around us and it just felt really magical” Kelly said.

They even brought in a tattoo artist, who created a custom flash sheet. Over 20 guests got tattoos during the day – for many of them it was their first tattoo!

They saved money where they could. Flowers were DIY’d with family two days before the wedding. “The wedding industry has a tendency to emphasise that this is your ‘one perfect day’ and that’s too much pressure to live up to”, Kelly concluded. “My main advice is to know yourself. Lean into your personality and what will make it feel truly like you and your partner.”

AJ and Pedro got married by the sea in La Manga del Mar Menor, a narrow sandbar in Murcia, Spain, which separates the Mediterranean Sea from the Mar Menor lagoon. They are both archaeologists, and their work and love of books became the starting point for the theme.

Pedro is an author, and AJ also translated that idea into the visual side of the wedding. She designed everything herself, from stationery to signage to décor, keeping it consistent across the whole day.

Guests were asked to wear black with orange and pink accents. The choice raised a few eyebrows with some guests, but they knew how they wanted the day to look and stuck to it.

The Flemish bride and Spanish groom also wanted to include both their backgrounds into the day. “Since we have different nationalities, we needed to find a way to make the wedding ‘us’ without making one of those backgrounds step over the other”, AJ said. “So we chose a middle way between the more formal/traditional Spanish weddings and the more informal/laid back Flemish weddings.”

The day started with a first look at the lighthouse of Cabo de Palos. From there, they headed to their ceremony together. They chose to walk down the aisle together, as the bride didn’t want to be given away. Their mothers walked down the aisle together to Bohemian Rhapsody. The ‘BeerBoys’ followed, who were four friends handing our drinks to the guests as Drink by Alestorm played. AJ and Pedro then entered together to Another One Bites the Dust!

The reception began with a bang too. The band played and the couple were accompanied from the ceremony to reception led by Romans in full costume, honouring their shared passion for history and archaeology!

DIY was a big part of this wedding. AJ created the welcome board, bilingual menus, ceremony signage and small printed details across the day. The invitations were handbound books, written by Pedro in two languages, combining their story with practical information for guests. “The DIY was basically everything!” she laughed. “Crafting it all was the best part of the planning for me.”

However they kept the focus on the atmosphere and the people in the room. “Seeing everyone together, with good weather, good mood, good music, good food and better drinks was a real highlight”, they concluded. “Our advice to others? Just have fun and plan YOUR party, not anyone else’s!”

Although they live in Columbus, Ohio, Casey and Johnathan chose to travel to Salem, Massachusetts for their wedding festivities. As Halloween enthusiasts and lovers of the paranormal, their really was no other option! Johnathan had even proposed there, right in front of the famous Witch House.

They went for a dark, romantic theme and there were black accents everywhere – the bride and groom both wore black, and the the cake and the florals had black elements to. There were plenty of spooky accents throughout the day. They drank from glasses with skeletons hands on, and had glass skulls, spiderweb covered florals, black candles, and skeletons on the tables.

“Our wedding theme was a mixture of moody, eerie, spooky, and dark romance with an alternative music twist”, Casey said. “Being in Salem with The House of the Seven Gables as the ceremony backdrop really helped us lean into our theme. We chose to have our reception at Colonial Hall. It was a costume party because we wanted an element of silliness and lightness that our day to balance everything out. We never take ourselves too seriously and we didn’t want our big day to feel ‘serious’ in that sense either.”

The ceremony opened with the bridal party walking in to a piano version of Welcome to the Black Parade. Casey followed to The Only Exception. They chose not to include religion in the ceremony. Both families are religious, but they are not. They wrote their own vows and Johnathan’s incorporated 25 of their favourite song lyrics which made Casey literally laugh out loud!

After the ceremony, guests had time before the reception to explore Salem and return to the second venue in their costumes. The wedding party arrived dressed as figures from The Lord of the Rings, complete with cut-outs of their cats in matching costumes. Emo music played all night and their their first dance was a stripped-back version of Still Into You. “We incorporated many of our favourite songs throughout the day. We made sure that the mosh pit was in full swing, like it would be at any good emo night!”

“At the end of the day, it is your wedding and you should do whatever the hell you want”, Casey advises. “The wedding should represent you, as a couple, and does not need to cater to your family, guests, or other people’s thoughts and opinions. You also don’t have to play the same reception music as everyone else. Your guests will still dance and enjoy themselves if you play what you like, as long as you bring the energy to back it up. Our favourite part of the wedding day was dancing and singing alongside all of our friends and family, whom we love so deeply. The pressure was off following the first dance and speeches, so we could really let loose and soak it all in.”

Let’s be honest for a second. When guests look back on your wedding years from now, they’re probably not going to remember the exact shade of your napkins or whether the centrepieces had eucalyptus or olive branches. But they will remember if they had to wait forty minutes for a watered-down gin and tonic. The bar is where your wedding either becomes the party everyone talks about for years, or the one where people slipped out before the cake was cut.

The good news? Building a bar experience that actually wows people isn’t about spending a fortune. It’s about the intention behind it, adding some personality, and making a few smart choices that most couples never even consider.

Start With a Story, Not the Menu

Before you pick a single bottle, think about what your bar is going to feel like. Is it a smoky speakeasy tucked into the corner of an industrial warehouse? A sun-drenched garden cart stocked with elderflower spritzes and crisp rosé? A moody desert lounge with mezcal, smoked salt rims, and candles flickering everywhere?

Your bar should feel like an extension of the wedding theme, not a generic hotel setup with a plastic sign that says “Signature Cocktail.” When the vibe comes first, every other decision – from the glassware, the garnishes, even the music playing nearby – gets easier.

Signature Cocktails That Actually Mean Something

Two signature drinks is the sweet spot, one for each of you. Have one that’s a little sweeter, and one that drier or more herbal and there will be something for everyone without overwhelming your bartenders or your guests with too much choice.

Name them after something personal – maybe the dog you adopted on your third date, the tiny bar in Lisbon where you got engaged or the terrible karaoke songs you sang on your first night out. Put a little card next to the drink explaining the story, and suddenly a cocktail becomes a memory your guests get to taste.

A few ideas that tend to land well: a smoked rosemary paloma, a lavender French 75, an espresso martini with a cheeky name, or a spicy mango margarita with chili salt. Just make sure whatever you choose can be batched in advance. Your bartenders will thank you, and your line will move twice as fast.

Hire People Who Know What They’re Doing

This is where a lot of couples try to save money and end up regretting it. A cousin with a cocktail shaker and some YouTube tutorials is not the same as a professional, and you will feel the difference the second your reception hits peak hour.

Good bartenders do so much more than pour drinks. They read the room, keep the line moving and cut people off gracefully when they’ve had too many! They handle spills, swap out kegs, and somehow remember which drink goes to which aunt by the end of the night. If you’re getting married in the desert, for example, Deluxe Wedding Bartenders know exactly how to keep a Vegas crowd happy through the heat and the late hours. Or if you’re looking for a team that can handle everything from intimate backyard ceremonies to full ballroom affairs, check out Encore Bar Service who can bring that same level of polish wherever you’re celebrating.

The rule of thumb is one bartender per fifty guests, but honestly, one per forty is better if you can swing it. Nobody has ever complained about a bar line being too short.

Details That Make People Take Photos

Want your bar to end up all over Instagram the next morning? Think about the details nobody expects.

Custom ice cubes with edible flowers frozen inside.
A neon sign with a lyric from your first dance song.
Vintage coupe glasses collected from thrift stores.
A tiny garnish station where guests can add their own dehydrated citrus wheels and fresh herbs.
A chalkboard menu hand-lettered by a local artist.
Champagne poured into a tower of glasses at exactly the right moment.

None of these cost a ton, but all of them turn a bar into a scene.

Don’t Forget the Non-Drinkers

This one gets overlooked constantly, and it matters more than ever. Offer something beautiful for guests who aren’t drinking alcohol – and not just diet coke and water! A real zero-proof cocktail that feels like it belongs next to the signature drinks. Some ideas could be:

A hibiscus spritz with fresh mint.
A ginger and grapefruit shrub over crushed ice.
Something smoky with a salted rim that looks just as good in photos as the boozy version.

Your pregnant friend, your sober cousin, your guest who’s just driving home, they’ll all notice and remember being included.

Think About the Flow

Where your bar lives physically can make or break the energy of the night. Tuck it too far away and people miss cocktail hour. Put it right next to the DJ and nobody can hear themselves order. The sweet spot is visible from the dance floor but not so close that the line blocks it.

If your venue is large, consider two smaller bars instead of one big one. It spreads out the crowd, creates two gathering points, and gives you the chance to theme each one differently. Maybe one does classic cocktails and the other does something more experimental. Guests love having options, and it keeps the whole room feeling alive.

The Last Hour Is Everything

Here’s a tip nobody talks about – the final hour of your wedding is when the bar becomes the emotional centre of the night. People are tired, a little tipsy, and full of feelings. This is when you want something special waiting for them.

How about:

A late-night espresso martini cart.
A tray of mini cocktails paired with greasy snacks.
Hot toddies in winter, frozen palomas in summer.
Something that feels like a gift.

Your guests will drift over, order one more, and the photos from that last hour will be some of your favourites of the whole day.

Make It Yours

The best wedding bars aren’t the fanciest or the most expensive. They’re the ones that feel completely, unmistakably like the couple getting married. When you treat your bar like a love letter to your guests instead of a checklist item, people feel it. They linger longer. They laugh louder. They remember.

And really, isn’t that the whole point of throwing a wedding in the first place?