Alissa and Wesley’s wedding planning began when the bride starting looking for her dress. She wanted something witchy, romantic and inspired by nature, steering clear of anything too Halloween-y. Her answer was a sheer black gown, made to order by NRT Fashions and covered in hand-applied beading. The dress then set the direction for the entire day. Its botanical detailing fed into the use of trailing vines, overgrown flowers, old books and flickering candlelight.

Designing the fashion became Alissa’s favourite part of the planning process. She worked closely with her designer on her ceremony gown, reception look and each of the bridesmaids’ dresses. The bridesmaids were included in the process, giving everyone an outfit created around their individual style. Then, six weeks before the wedding, FedEx lost Alissa’s gown!

Her designer remade the entire fully beaded dress within the remaining time and Alissa flew to Calgary for a single day to attend fittings for both of her looks. The finished gown was worth the stress. Its sheer black base, fitted silhouette and beaded vines captured Alissa’s version of bridal fashion perfectly.

After such stress in the run up, the couple were pleased the day itself went off without a hitch. The ceremony was arranged in the round, with guests forming a circle around Alissa and Wesley. This brought everybody closer to the vows and reflected the couple’s desire for their families and friends to feel involved. Music was chosen to feel spooky and ethereal. They completed a binding ceremony using a handmade cord, wrapping it around their hands to represent their lives becoming intertwined.

At the reception, four chandeliers hung above the room, each covered with large floral installations made by Alissa and her step-mum. Flowers and vines appeared to grow across the frames. Alissa created almost all the remaining décor herself. She crystallised old books, applied gold leaf to the menus, made the bar signs and built a display using the couple’s engagement photographs. The table arrangements were the only decorative element handed over to a professional florist.

“I knew going in to this I was going to have to do a lot of DIY because alternative weddings are not mainstream,” she told us. “It takes a lot of sitting down and putting together exactly what you are looking for.”

Alissa’s sheer black dress and some of their styling choices certainly attracted questions, but they were never questioned by the couple themselves. The things they chose expressed exactly how they wanted to feel on their wedding day.

“It really does not matter what people think”, Alissa concluded. “If your wedding is true to who you are, let them think whatever they want. At the end of the day, it’s about you as the couple. We are put on this earth to be exactly who we are, not to pretend to be someone else because other people are telling you so. A wedding is the perfect time to say, THIS IS ME, ALL OF ME. Did I think I would get questions or looks because I was wearing a sheer black dress?!? Of course! But I couldn’t see myself wearing anything else but that.”

An oval diamond on a twisting vine band. A pointed marquise with a halo tucked underneath. A starburst cluster with an intricate outline around the centre. You can love all three in photographs and still have no idea which you would choose.

If there’s a plain solitaire saved between them, that doesn’t mean you’ve misunderstood the assignment. Looking for an alternative engagement ring doesn’t oblige you to choose the most elaborate thing in the shop.

The useful part is working out which detail keeps pulling you back, and whether you enjoy it as much on your own hand. That might be the stone’s outline or a tiny feature you can only see from the side. For an unusual lab-grown diamond engagement ring, a few deliberate comparisons will tell you much more than another evening of scrolling.

If colourful rings keep sneaking into your saved pictures, give them a proper chance. Lily Arkwright’s wider selection of engagement rings includes other gemstone options. Check each stone’s properties and care before comparing it with a diamond. You don’t have to stay with the material you first searched for.

Find the diamond shape you keep noticing

Look through your favourites and cover the bands with your thumb. Are the centre stones similar? You might discover that nearly everything you’ve saved has a long, narrow outline, even though the settings are wildly different.

Two fairly simple settings in the same metal colour make that comparison easier. An oval and a marquise are a useful pair: both have an elongated outline, but the oval has rounded ends and the marquise comes to a point at each end.

How much of your finger does each cover? Do you like the sharper silhouette, or keep coming back to the softer one? There is no need to choose a more dramatic shape simply because you’re planning an alternative wedding.

Even two ovals can look quite different when one is shorter and wider. The shape name gets you started; the dimensions of the particular stone help explain why one feels right and another doesn’t.

Decide where you want the detail

For a closer look at the setting, Lily Arkwright’s lab diamond collection offers a useful comparison. Eden and Alya in 18ct yellow gold both use an oval lab-grown centre diamond, but put the decoration in different places.

Eden draws your eye along the band. Its twisting, diamond-set shoulders give it a vine-like shape. Those curves continue to either side of the oval, so a close crop of the centre would miss much of its character.

Alya builds the decoration around the centre. A starburst cluster frames the oval, with further diamond detail along the shoulders. Its outside edge makes a different impression from Eden’s more open outline. Does that whole starburst appeal to you, or is it one tiny detail in the enlarged photograph? It’s worth seeing the complete ring from a little distance.

Comparing the same metal and similar centre-stone dimensions will help you judge the settings fairly. Otherwise, the biggest pictured diamond can steal the whole conversation.

You might prefer the simplest ring from above and enjoy the detail underneath. You might want a cluster you can spot from across the table. Either gives you a more useful starting point than trying to decide whether a ring is unusual enough.

Get clear on the diamond itself

A lab-grown diamond is a diamond grown in a controlled environment. Moissanite is a different gemstone. The distinction matters when similar-looking rings turn up in the same search.

Lab-grown diamonds generally cost less than comparable natural diamonds, but individual stones still vary in quality. IGI’s consumer guide explains what to consider. Knowing the origin alone won’t tell you how a particular diamond will look.

An independent laboratory report helps you understand the centre stone you’re considering. Ask to see it, check its number with the issuing laboratory and have the jeweller explain anything unfamiliar. It is most useful alongside the actual diamond or a video of that stone. You still get to decide which one you like looking at.

The way a diamond is cut affects its appearance, too. If you love geometric jewellery, try an emerald cut beside a radiant. The emerald cut’s stepped facets give broader reflections, while a radiant’s brilliant-style facets create a busier pattern of sparkle.

If responsible sourcing matters to your choice, ask for evidence about the particular diamond and metal. Lab-grown origin on its own does not establish the environmental impact of the finished ring.

Spend on the details you would miss

A bigger centre stone can quietly eat the budget you meant to spend on the setting. A spending limit for the complete ring helps keep those decisions in proportion. The specifications beside each price should include the metal and any changes you’ve requested.

Carat figures need a closer look, too. A one-carat centre stone and a cluster with a total diamond weight of one carat describe different arrangements. Neither number tells you the width of the finished ring.

Carat measures weight, so the centre stone’s dimensions in millimetres are useful for judging size. With a cluster, the overall dimensions of the setting matter as well. That is the outline you’ll see on your hand.

Product photographs can complicate things. The ring pictured may have a different specification from the option selected in the menu. An on-hand photograph of a comparable size, or a sample with similar dimensions, gives you more to work with than an enlarged close-up.

If the price goes beyond what you want to spend, change the part you care about least first. If the twisting band is the reason you love a ring, compare smaller centre stones in that setting. If you mainly want the pointed silhouette, try the same shape in a simpler design. Keep the feature that made you stop scrolling.

Take your shortlist off the screen

Three contenders make a manageable shortlist. Beside each, jot down the feature you would miss if you chose another ring, then the question that still needs answering.

“Love the oval and twisting shoulders; need to see the setting height in profile” gives a jeweller much more to work with than “something unusual”. The design name, metal and stone dimensions will help you find the same version again.

At a try-on, wear the jewellery you normally wear and see how the ring feels alongside it. A look away from the brightest display lighting is useful, too. Relax your hand rather than holding it in a permanent proposal-photo pose. Tell the jeweller how you use your hands at work, so you can discuss the setting’s height and any exposed points.

If you’re buying an engagement ring online, take time over the retailer checks as well. Before ordering, get the resizing, returns and customisation terms for your chosen specification confirmed in writing.

Then go back to the note beside each contender. The elaborate setting you loved online may feel like too much on your hand, while the quieter ring keeps catching your attention. You can keep admiring the first one in photographs. Ask to see the favourite again in the metal and stone size you would actually order.

Sharon and Stevie Morotti’s first date was a walk through a cemetery. Years later, they engraved the words Until We Are Ghosts inside their wedding bands. When it came time to get married, they chose Bean Town Receptions in Plantagenet, Ontario, where woodland, water and open space gave them the country setting they both wanted.

Stevie, a member of Canadian metalcore band Obey The Brave, and Sharon grew up in small towns and share a love of the outdoors. They also enjoy an excuse to dress up so both things influenced their wedding aesthetic.

The ceremony was kept small, with Stevie’s bandmates, family and close friends gathered around them. The couple chose a non-religious service, wrote their own vows, and exchanged rings with the phrase Until We Are Ghosts engraved on the inside. “Writing our own vows was really special, not only for us, but for those who attended as well”, Sharon said. “We had a very small number of guests at the ceremony portion and that made it feel really intimate and special. Our baby was also able to be there. We were so happy to have her there but she was not happy about the heat – and let everyone know it!”

Black ran through the wedding party’s outfits, giving the country setting a bit of edge. Sharon also made her own crown and designed the rest of the décor, which was assembled by the team at Bean Town Receptions. The gluten-free cake was baked by the bride’s grandmother.

As the evening continued and guests enjoyed the dance floor, fire pits and sitting by the pond, a taco bar arrived to much excitement from everyone! After refuelling, Sharon and Stevie headed to a tiny island for a private first dance, with fireworks exploding above them. “It was magical!” Sharon remembered.

“Do it the way you want to do it, and enjoy the ride!” the couple advise. “It’s the first big test for the rest of your life, make it fun and do it together!”

Alishia and JC met at a grocery store, discovered they lived in the same apartment complex and married just three months later! A year on, they gathered their friends and family at Longwood Historic Community Building for the full wedding celebration.

The couple spent $6,500 on the day that was inspired by the bride’s love vintage whimsy. Her wedding dress originally belonged to JC’s mum, who wore it in the 1980s. Alishia had it altered, then styled it with a tiara, vintage jewellery and PUMA Speedcat Ballet shoes. Her tattoos and piercings stayed firmly part of the look; there was no way she was going to cover them.

“To anyone who feels like they need to hide their tattoos for their wedding, take out their piercings, or dial down their unique look… don’t!” she said. “I do not regret a single thing about how I portrayed myself!” Alishia’s also chose to stand on the right during the ceremony because that was her good side. Wedding customs were welcome to stay, provided they worked for them.

The day’s playlist featured an eclectic mix of beabadoobee, Deftones, Linkin Park, M83, Tigers Jaw, Turnover and Harry Styles. At the reception, tables were filled with objects that meant something to them. On their first date, Alishia and JC bought Happy Meals and kept the small toy clips that came with them. Both clips were placed on their wedding table alongside Calico Critters and other collected trinkets.

JC replaced the garter toss with a Pokémon booster box toss. The couple also received card packs as wedding presents and opened them during the celebration. Drinks included Four Loko, BuzzBallz and beer, while karaoke supplied the evening’s live entertainment.

Alishia created the welcome sign, while JC’s mum built the ceremony arch and decorated it with Alishia’s favourite flowers. She also prepared much of the catering, helping the couple keep within budget.

“Give me the vintage dress, Pokémon cards, karaoke, Calico Critters, random trinkets, and a cool historic building over a traditional wedding any day,” said Alishia. “Our wedding was definitely unconventional, but it felt true to us and every single one of our guests could see that. I think that’s what weddings should be about.”

The couple did find some parts of planning stressful, particularly navigating the endless lists of wedding ‘must-haves’. “It’s your day, and you should prioritise what you and your partner enjoy”, she concluded, “A lot of people would be very hesitant to do half of what we did but that’s exactly what makes it ‘us’!”

Inspired by Pam and Tommy, a Poison music video, the 80s and early 90s, strippers and rock ‘n’ roll, Jay and Kate’s wedding was wild, free and so very them. It happened in Las Vegas at Sure Thing Chapel, although they told their friends they were attending their joint bachelorette trip! At 3:30pm, after an hour of photos around town, the group found themselves standing outside a wedding chapel. Their photographer had ‘just happened’ to suggest stopping there, but inside Lady Elvis was waiting to marry them.

They walked in together to 99 Problems by Jay-Z as their friends laughed and cheered. “We walked in to this song because we’ve certainly got 99 problems but a bitch AINT ONE!!!”

They skipped exchanging rings. Both already had awesome vintage engagement rings which they didn’t feel needed another band. Instead, they had custom grills made in Korea and engraved with the number 13. “We were engaged on Friday the 13th and married on October 31st so we liked that the 1 and 3 could be read front to back or back to front and still represent our ‘love days’,” they explained. “We also skipped the whole have your dad walk you down the aisle thing, NO BOYS ALLOWED! We chose our mothers and Kate also had her best friend by her side.”

Afterwards, everyone returned to their Airbnb just outside the Strip. It was mid-century modern, with a pool that became the centre of the weekend. Music played constantly while people drank, swam, talked, disappeared, came back, and went out again. “Honestly, we feel like we did it all right,” they said, “We focused on being present and there was no people pleasing. We did everything we wanted to do; it was OUR day after all. We had people who smoked, didn’t smoke, heavy drinkers and sober people… Muslims, meat eaters, gay people, bi people, and the straights, folks in their 20s, 30s, 50s and 60s… Nobody felt like our party excluded them. There is space for all of us and we really like that it felt like that.”

“Our support,” they said, when asked what stayed with them most. “Being LGBTQ+, we don’t always feel widely accepted, but there we were, surrounded by our friends and mums, people with very different backgrounds, celebrating together. Our win feels like a win for all of us!”

“This is your life, your marriage, your memories,” they concluded. “Do everything the way you want because there are no rules. Do the cringe thing, go to Taco Bell, be as insane as you want to be. Your happiness is genuinely the only thing that matters. If people complain they don’t have to come or you can just do it alone. It is about you and your love!”