It had been 6 months since I had found the then dime size lump. Out of denial, I had let it go until it was now an inch and a half wide. Because of newer research and science technology on cancer treatment, I knew it wasn’t an instant death sentence anymore but panic still rose. My health insurance had lapsed that year as I was 47 years old, divorced, living with roommates and had needed the extra monthly money. I was also alone. With mom passing of brain cancer in 2009 and dad in assisted living, who would be there to help me? I had already overcome, on my own, so many hurtful events and emotional pain during the short years of my life on this earth. SureIy I could get through this? But the all too familiar fear and deep emptiness slowly began seeping in.

Starting out as an artist in high school with detailed pencil/ink drawings of landscapes, wildlife, and mountains; art had been a powerfully healing part of my life. I was a quiet, awkward introvert with few friends that always took to being made fun of and outed for being different. This had lead me to feel worthless a lot of the time. Academically and athletically, I had nothing going for me, so art gave me new strength and identity. My art teacher was so proud and supported me fully. God had made me different to be an artist that can see and feel things deeply. However, at the time, some of my family considered art as just something “nice” I did with my spare time. They saw artists as destined to a life of poverty, loss and struggle. That really hurt me. I felt rejected by those that I loved. Fine art was the true desire of my heart, even though eventually I found the field of graphic design as a way I could make money and still work at a job that I love.

The manufacturing company hired me after I had graduated with a degree in 2016. Design work for print and advertising was what I was great at. Design was a language that I instantly understood and loved. It made so much sense to me. However, that degree had been hard fought for. After high school in the early 90’s, I had tried to study at various colleges for years to be a graphic designer, including in Colorado. Trying again and again to reach degree level at several different types of schools was harsh, as I moved around a lot always chasing a broken dream. At the time, graphic design courses were not standardized in curriculum and did not transfer over. So one had to start completely over in Design 101 at each new college. Financial situations always left me broke, in and out of bad relationships, and also just life would happen where I would have to put art aside like marriage, a child, and being a mom for awhile.

Depression happens when you’re an artist that doesn’t create. Eventually I stopped even drawing. Without being able to reach my goals or to be creative in some way, I was left torn apart and empty inside. I had been working in retail for 20 years. Even though I finally received that degree and in my first professional position, still my heart was really not in it anymore. I wanted to create beautiful artworks not stale, old, boring on-brand marketing.

On that horrible day that I had received the phone call at work in fear, but how was I to know that something amazingly transforming was about to take place. Through prayer and faith, I surrendered that fear and let it go along with all of the internal struggle that had held me hostage all my life. Starting off with the chemotherapy, there was God’s peace and light that grew inside of me while the cancer shrunk to pea size. I knew in my heart all was good. Never once did I get sick or weak even during the strongest injections of the chemo that usually the body can not handle.

The tumor was removed and I have been in remission for 9 years. Spiritual healing came to me inside and out and changed everything. That light of goodness, joy and bravery overflowed into every part of my life with a new perspective internally that glowed radiantly from my very being.

Through a new calling and purpose, I left my well paid, soul draining design job and began to create again on canvas. This unleashed a flood of love, forgiveness and imagination. My hand was being lead by a higher source and there was no turning back. I married a wonderful new husband in 2021. Then a year latter we moved to Colorado to bring that dream of having my own art studio into reality. In summer, I show my mixed-media, textured canvas art at market festivals then year around in local galleries. I now stand as a whole woman that shares the light of truth and grace with others through art and creativity. I walk through the mountains, among pines, aspen and stone, full of connection to life itself and to my true identity as a healed artist.

My artist journey always begins by spending time walking in nature with God, my creator. While listening to what is spoken to my heart, I hope my work will reflect light-filled intent and the ability to change atmospheres or spaces for good. On a weekly basis, hiking in the mountains and exploring connects me with the powerful life force of God present in the Earth. I constantly long for the deep woods, rocky overlooks and snow capped peaks. It is a hunger for discovery both as an artist and adventurist that is never quite satisfied. Endless ideas and journeys await me!

Secret Places in the Woods
While on some of my favorite hikes in Colorado, such as St. Vrain west of Longmont; Racoon Loop trail in Golden Gate Canyon Park; and Bear Lake in the Rocky Mountain National Park, I search for groups of trees sitting back away from the path where hidden worlds can be found in the brush. A shady, secret nook back inside the aspen, pine and rock beacons to me in hushed knowing whispers, revealing forgotten truths. I crawl inside. It is a quiet calm there smelling of cool damp earth, fresh and rotting needles and wet granite heavy in the air from a rushing mountain stream nearby. The slight wind hushes through blue spruce boughs as a black and white Magpie rustles in the limbs above me. I am safe, inside the womb of the woods, deep within my hiding place where I am at home. God speaks softly to my heart, calming my mind, and silent prayers are heard. His love cradles me with comfort and with so many simple, abundant blessings found in the Rocky Mountains. Here, I take out my leather bound journal and begin to take note of these deep perceptions that I can share with my readers on my blog latter. I long to remain here always in the woods and to maybe be part of the elk tribe that roam the Rockies, but adventure calls me back to the trail for now.

Back on the trail
The spiritual flow of the rough landscape is so overwhelming underneath the vast bluebird sky with sunshine drenching my shoulders. The Earth is so alive! With all of the beauty God adorns the Rocky Mountains in, it is evident that he loves them as much as we do. I desire always to express artistically with such need the textures and colors I find to experience their depth in my very being. The vertical definition of lines found in the tall trees and peaks against the horizontal ruggedness of the stretching landscape, delights my eyes with inspiration.


My heart and mind can not hold all of the intensity at once and is overflowed onto canvas and paper. Such an incredible process! Bringing the unseen essence of forest, mountain and earth into existence so that God’s living beauty, life and light can be seen and understood visually. Every texture and pattern in nature contains purpose filled emotional intent that expresses designed order in rugged chaos!

The truth of these realities can be found when you open your heart and mind to new perceptions of light. I encourage you to journey fully into this unknown world with me. Sunlit adventure and beauty are waiting just right outside the hidden lines!