Slant Pattern Quick Hitches

Welcome to the latest in gimmicks/running items that I won't stick with. Actually, this one has a better chance of making it than most, because it's just like the old Slant Pattern Blackjack, where I cover a range of scattershot topics rather than focusing on just one. The problem with Blackjack, however, was I had to stick with 21 topics. That's a lot. I think I'd like to write more and cover less.

"Quick Hitches" was about my fourth choice of title for this gimmick. I considered "Quick Hits," "Quick Outs," and "Quick Reads," but all three of them are already taken by mainstream media outlets for similarly themed blogs and columns. FOXSports.com owns the latter two. Apparently, their strategy to bring in readers is to copyright all cute column names.

Then I considered "Kwick Hits." That's taken, too, sort of. It's used by a regular Joe Shmoe blogger who calls himself the Krusty Konservative. I was going to use it anyway when I realized he deserves no respect because he substitutes a "k" for a hard "c" in all of his writings, even when he is quoting (kwoting?) somebody. Ultimately, I remembered that intentional misspellings are stupid and never funny, so "Quick Hitches" it is.

Last year, I chronicled what a rough year it was for the teams I root for, mostly because they were mostly very good, but none could quite grab the brass ring. One of those teams is Ohio State.

But man, when you're a fierce partisan in the biggest sports rivalry in the United States, and your rival lays an egg of unprecedented proportions, that's incredibly tasty. I'd rather Ohio State win than Michigan lose, but a loss like Appalachian State ranks higher than most OSU victories I could imagine.

There's more Schadenfreude in my body than blood right now. I lustily consume the Michigan blogs and message boards to watch them stagger around in a stunned daze. Even if Appalachian State is better than many Division I-A programs (and of course they are), when you compare the resources and history of the programs, then this is absolutely the biggest upset in college football history. It's going to be decades before Michigan completely lives this down, and that's even if they win a national title every other year. That's the thing about taking clear, unambiguous, unprecedented loss. I'm sure you've heard a top-25 team has never lost to a I-AA school, let alone a top-five school like Michigan.

The capper: I'm not above patting myself in the back. While I didn't quite "call it," I had my doubts about this game and I wrote as much in my last column:

"On the other side of the 1-AA spectrum is Appalachian State, they are 1-AA National Champions two years running and widely expected to three-peat. Michigan only managed to squeak by a mediocre Ball State squad (that probably wasn't as good as App State) 31-26 last year. If you want an absolute shocker in Week 1, this is your best chance."

This week's upset pick is not nearly as earth-shattering, but I think my Buckeyes are going down in Seattle on Saturday. For the life of me, I can't understand why Tyrone Willingham was (at least going into this season) considered by so many to be on the hot seat. He inherited a 1-10 team that was winless in the Pac-10, got them up to two wins in his first season, and in his second season (last year), the Huskies mustered five wins — and they were one stupid, now-retired rule from potentially beating USC in Los Angeles. Those aren't big enough strides? I'm happy they are off to such an emphatically great start this year.

I'm not sure there is a BCS team worse than Iowa State at this point. They have dropped their first two games to Kent (not exactly the class of the MAC) and Northern Iowa (I-AA), at home, and neither game was within a single possession margin. I will be taking 17.5-point favorites Iowa against them this week, rivalry game be damned.

Another intriguing game is Fresno State at Oregon. I was ready to lay on Oregon — they are on a rush — against a Fresno State team that has to be deflated and exhausted after losing to Texas A&M in triple overtime. But 16 points, the current spread, is an awful lot. Fresno State lives for these high-profile BCS games and then tanks against WAC opponents. Oregon beat Houston by 21 at home, and I say Fresno State is more than six points better than Houston, even considering the Texas A&M aftereffects and Oregon momentum (which so often turns into overconfidence, as we saw last year when Rutgers beat Louisville and then turned around and lost to Cincinnati). Yep, I'm going to go the other way and take Fresno State, though only 32% of gamblers agree with me at this point per Covers.com.

Bet you didn't know the Rugby World Cup is going on right now, and the United States is in it. They even put on a respectable show against reigning World Cup champs England, losing 28-10 in a game that could've been closer (rugby union scores are roughly equivalent to American football scores, so use that as a gauge).

Unfortunately, they are in the Group of Death. In addition to England, they have South Africa (ranked third in the world), Samoa (10th), and Tonga (14th). The United States are ranked 15th, believe it or not. But there's a huge gap between top eight and the rest of the world. I was hoping United States would knock off Samoa and Tonga, and play respectably against South Africa. They lost to Tonga, however, 25-15.

Qualifying for UEFA Euro 2008 is heading down the home stretch now, as most teams have only three or four matches left. If qualifying ended today, the most surprising non-qualifier would be World Cup runner-up France, who have been stung by a sweep at the hands of surprise group leaders Scotland. World champions Italy are second in the same group (the top two teams from seven groups qualify). World Cup semifinalists Portugal are also fighting for their lives, lying third behind Poland and Finland, though they have a game in hand to try to catch up. Draws at Armenia and home to Serbia have hindered them.

But there's still more significant events going on you weren't aware of: Eurobasket, the European basketball championships, are entering the quarterfinal stages, and the tournament doubles as an Olympic Qualifying event. The only real surprise there is Darko Milicic's Serbia, ranked fourth in the world, got bounced in the group stage after going winless.

The most interesting aspect of Olympic basketball qualifying is that the also-rans from each continent's qualifying competition will enter a wildcard tournament less than a month before the Games to see through three more teams. Canada and Puerto Rico are among those who will try to qualify via these pre-Olympic Olympics. If you're looking for a last minute bet, Spain plays Germany in the fourth quarterfinal today at 4:30 Eastern, and I like Spain, who has been tearing it up, at -14.5 against Germany, who has struggled.

Leave a Comment

Featured Site