Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson started seventh and immediately was faced with a tight-handling car. On lap 96, race leader Carl Edwards put Johnson a lap down, and the No. 48 car never returned to the lead lap. Johnson still finished 15th and now has a 106 point lead over Edwards in the Cup standings.
"Sure, 106 points can vanish in the stock market in two weeks," says Johnson. "Heck, it could be gone in two seconds. But this isn't the stock market, and unless Carl Edwards is Alan Greenspan, I don't see my 106 points going anywhere."
2. Carl Edwards — Edwards had the car to beat in Texas, leading 212 of 334 laps, but his victory hinged mostly on a bold four-tire pit stop and a gentle foot on the gas pedal near the race's end. With a huge lead, Edwards was able to slow considerably and conserve fuel, leading to his second straight win, which cut 77 points from Jimmie Johnson's points lead.
"I really looked stupid last week in Atlanta after winning the race and not realizing that Johnson was right behind me," says Edwards. "I looked stupid in Texas, too. Not because I didn't know where Jimmie was; I just looked stupid in a cowboy hat and racing suit."
"Now, was it me, or did it look like Jimmie got more air time despite the fact that he was a lap down and I was leading the race? Sounds like 'race-ial' discrimination to me."
3. Greg Biffle — Biffle finished third in the Dickies 500, gaining 45 points on Jimmie Johnson, who finished 15th. Biffle was forced to pit for fuel on lap 322, while eventual race-winner Carl Edwards stayed out. After the race, Biffle was mystified as to why the No. 99 car was able to get such better mileage.
"Carl went eight more laps than I did on a tank of fuel," says Biffle. "Unless he's Fred Flintstone, or that team has really done some new, amazing things with an oil lid, then I'm totally baffled."
4. Jeff Gordon — Gordon won the pole for the Dickies 500, but his time out front was fleeting as the handling on the No. 24 DuPont Chevy quickly deteriorated. Gordon fell a lap down on lap 213, but received the "Lucky Dog" free pass when David Gilliland wrecked Juan Montoya. From there, Gordon shrewdly conserved fuel and, like race winner Carl Edwards, was able to go the distance. Gordon's second place finished gained him one spot in the standings to fifth, where he trails Jimmie Johnson by 255.
"As opposed to his choking incident with Carl Edwards," says Gordon, "I guess you could say Edwards was 'easier on the throttle' this time."
5. Clint Bowyer — Bowyer powered his way to a fourth in Texas, leading 36 laps to claim his sixth top-five finish of the year. He is now sixth in the Sprint Cup point standings, and trails Jimmie Johnson by 267 points.
"I've got two more races in the Jack Daniels car before I move to the No. 33 car next year," says Bowyer. "Hopefully, I'll be able to lead a lap in Phoenix or Homestead, and give announcers one final chance to say 'liquor in the front.' Even better, if I'm leading and Carl Edwards is in last, they can say 'Liquor in the front, choker in the back.'"
6. Jeff Burton — A loose No. 31 AT&T Chevy left Burton no choice but to try and grind out a respectable finish on the fast Texas Motor Speedway track. With Jimmie Johnson facing early troubles, it looked like Burton could make up significant ground on the points leader. However, Burton's finish of 13th was only two better than Johnson's 15th, and Burton trimmed only six points from Johnson's lead.
"While Carl's been back flipping," says Burton, "I've been back 'sliding.' While 212 points is a lot to make up in two races, we remain confident. We never say 'never,' although I just said it twice."
7. Kevin Harvick — Harvick battled a loose-handling car in Texas, and despite numerous adjustments, never found a setup that firmly gripped the TMS track. He finished a solid seventh, yet dropped two places in the point standings to seventh, where he trails Jimmie Johnson by 279.
"Edwards has been on a tear lately," says Harvick. "I know what he's thinking — he should choke me more often."
8. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth battled loose handling conditions all day, but fought his way to a ninth in Texas, as Roush Fenway Racing placed all five cars in the top 11. Kenseth gained one spot in the point standings and is now eighth, 393 out of first.
"It's the strangest thing," says Kenseth. "Every week, we're fighting an uphill battle, but we always seem to end up going downhill. That defies the laws of physics, as does one Roush car getting way better mileage than the other cars in the garage."
9. Kyle Busch — After winning his 10th Nationwide race of the year on Saturday, Busch finished a solid sixth in the Dickies 500, which moved him up two spots in the point standings to 10h. He is 428 out of first.
"That's a fifth and a sixth in my last two races," says Busch. "I'm on a hot streak. I fondly recall a time earlier in this year when those results would have been considered a slump for me."
10. Tony Stewart — Stewart blew a tire in Saturday's first practice session, forcing him to start at the back of the field in his backup car. Stewart made up ground early in the race, but got no higher than 16th, where he eventually finished, one lap down. He fell one place in the points to ninth, 404 out of first.
"It wasn't my best day in Texas," says Stewart. "But some of my greatest triumphs have come in Texas. Some took place on the track, but most took place in my hauler. Just like all of George Strait's exes living in Texas, most of my 'Xs' were in Texas."
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