So, where do I begin?

I have been living at Posner Hall, the dormitory associated with the Tufts University School of Medicine, since I have moved to Boston in June 2019 to begin my MD/MBA program. It was my first time living in a dorm. I made many friends there, and I can finally say that I have had that dormitory experience I never got in undergrad. I particularly looked forward to spring break, hoping to travel, get some alone time, and visit friends and family I have not seen in years (some since high school). I booked a round-trip flight from Boston to London. I planned staying with a high-school friend for a night in London, then fly to Paris for few days, before going to Istanbul for a night, then reversing the process on my way back to Boston. It was supposed to be a fun spring break. Then the pandemic happened! COVID-19 was the game changer. Students were asked to move out of the dorms and I had to cancel my trip. I felt that I still needed some personal time and the last two places I wanted to be were New York (my state of residency) and Boston (my medical school bubble). So, I decided to go to Durham, North Carolina. I have lived in Durham during my Master of Science Biomedical Sciences program at Duke University, and I knew I could focus and enjoy my solitude there. Thanks to my friend Garfield, I was able to transition smoothly back to Durham. I stayed with my friend Rimel for a couple of days, then I decided to stay in an Airbnb in a house where a couple, their dog, and two cats were "quarantined." I was hoping for some new adventures. 

For privacy purposes, I won’t use people's real names beyond this.

John and his girlfriend of four months, Jane, a naturopath doctor, were my host. John is self-employed, working in construction and teaching at a local community college. He is a middle-aged Caucasian man who is passionate about cooking, traveling, and photography, among many other pursuits. Once John learned that I was attending medical school, he decorated my room to include a frame of Eulogy of the Doctor by Robert Louis Stevenson, a copy of The Graduate by Ernie Barnes, and diploma of his late father, who had completed his orthopedic surgery residency and fellowship at Duke University. For the first few days, I was hardly socially engaged with John. I was still trying to get into my routine of being a medical student and working on my mental health. Our first real conversation was about houses, art, and real estate investment. We talked for hours that day and I learned a lot about building homes. Over the next few days, John invited me to eat dinner with his girlfriend and go grocery shopping.

 As the current pandemic worsened, I have become better acquainted with John, since he works from home. At first, John was very skeptical about the pandemic and did not believe in practicing social distancing. He strongly believed that we must all get sick, so we can become immune to the virus. Those who succumb to its destructive effects simply don’t deserve to live, he reasoned. At first, I was befuddled and did not challenge his thinking. I was merely trying to form an opinion about him. Truthfully, I usually take some time to warm up to people. I prefer the observe and listen mode, trying to decipher their philosophy and values to understand what they care about. Also, I believe it takes a lot of trusts to have a genuine conversation with someone.

One Friday afternoon, we were doing grocery shopping, and John refused to put on a mask that was given to him at a grocery store. I was not really happy about it, but I put on my mask and continue shopping. On our way back home, I avoided chatting with him; then, from nowhere, he asked, "Salim, do you think we should elect President Trump again?” I did not really take that question well, and when a friend telephoned that instant, I told John I did not want to talk about politics. That is not really an answer you would expect from me because I get really passionate about politics. Also, I did not want to describe our country “leader” using the "S" word like I did in my Zoom statistics course this semester. However, I was well aware that John has a lot of conservatives' views, and I had seen him watched President Trump’s press conferences a couple of times.

One day after I finished one of my exams, I decided it was time I understand why John did not want to wear a mask. To be honest, I was very passive-aggressive, asking him that question. In John's words, "wearing a mask is a control device". John actually wrote a "control device" on the mask he was given at the store. I tried to understand more what he meant by a "control device." John later explained that wearing a mask does not really protect him, and he could still get sick despite wearing a mask. I explained to him that wearing the mask is not just to protect himself but also his girlfriend, his mother, whom he loves to go visit, everyone in the store, and myself. I show him evidences why masks are essential to stop the spread of the virus and brought up the fact that he often wears masks in construction, but he maintained his view. 

 Next, I attempted to answer his question about whether Donald Trump should be elected again? So, I asked John this pointed question: Do you think we should re-elect a racist, sexist, and misogynistic leader who flippantly suggests that people could use poisonous disinfectants to treat COVID-19 infections? He opined that President Trump is just ignorant and never says or does such things. I showed him videos where the president said some very controversial and divisive stuff, and he laughingly maintained that Trump did not mean any of it. At that point, I just ended the conversation.

 I did not give up on trying to understand John's view. It was hard for me to accept that this man I respected subscribed to those views. One day, John respectfully asked me if Muslims were good people. I had mentioned that I was celebrating Ramadan. I was actually happy he asked me that question because I'm sure there are many people out there who wonder what it is like to be Muslim. I'm not particularly religious, nor would I characterize myself as a "good" Muslim, so I flipped the question to him, asking instead: Are all Christians good people? He said no. I thought I was finally getting the opportunity to rant about what it is like to be a Muslim and how being a "Muslim" is not a monolith, since there are different branches of Islam and differing beliefs. Muslims live everywhere on the planet, speak different languages, and have different traditions. Instead, I brought up the United States’ hypocrisy toward the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, since John pretended not to know that, as one of our long-standing and strategic allies (since 1933), Saudi Arabia is a country that practices Sunni Islam and is trying to systematically suppress Shia Islam. By the way, my family practices Sunni Islam, so I wasn’t trying to defend Shia Islam but simply denouncing America’s hypocrisy when it comes to geopolitics. Was Iran (95% of the Iranian population is Shia) posing a threat to us earlier this year, or was it that the enemy of our friend is our enemy?

 One of the least frustrating conversations I have had with John was about education. John does not believe in the value of a college education and even encourages his daughter not to attend college. John explained that he took college courses in his adult life but did not complete them. In some of his classes, he was not allowed to fully express his opinions. He believes that education starts at home and, nowadays, we could learn most things online, so why go to college? In his words:

"The education of our children cannot just be the job of schools. Parents must step up and take responsibility for educating our children and for showing them how to navigate and thrive in this world. Parents need to teach their child about nutrition and understand that being parenting is a full-time job, and children need to learn to question everything and have their own opinions, and not just believe everything they are told in school".

I definitely agree with John that education starts at home and that people need to learn to question things, but where do we draw the line? Should we question the protocols and recommendations of the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) regarding the pandemic or the president's ill-advised and often unscientific statements on treating COVID-19? John didn't answer. 

 As we were discussing this, I told John about my first impression of the classroom in the US. Class participation is something that invariably surprises culturally and linguistically diverse immigrant students in America. It is intimidating, especially when your first language is not English and your accent and halting English are subjected to being mocked by insensitive peers. There were many times when I so wanted to engage in classroom discussions but I couldn't find the right words in English. I told John that instead of teaching children to question things, we should give teachers the resources to encourage civic participation in the classroom. In their book, The Political Classroom, Diana Hess and Paula McAvoy argue that schools should be political (though not partisan) to fulfill their democratic mission. In political classrooms, students learn how to discuss topics with multiple, competing views, and practice listening and questioning. In my opinion, students engaging in civil discourse in class should be given time to ponder over an idea before articulating a response. Personally, it usually takes me time to consider an issue before answering. Sometimes I have to formulate my response in French and quickly translate it into English. When I taught in Hong Kong or New York, I always encouraged my students to think before answering a question because I learned that it does not make someone smarter, whether they respond quickly or not.

 As we were having this conversation, I also learned why John does not trust the healthcare system and wouldn't want to receive any care if he contacted the virus. Despite believing that America is the greatest country in the world, John's opinion of our healthcare system is the opposite. John has had numerous bad experiences with the healthcare system as he likes to say. At first, I could not really comprehend why he wouldn't seek any medical care because I knew that his father was an orthopedic surgeon and his sister is a physician assistant working in New York City. As we chatted, I learned that John was more frustrated about the cost of healthcare in America, as well as the inordinate amount of time he had to wait in the ER when he had a carbon monoxide poisoning. I'm definitely aware that our healthcare has many flaws. But I also wanted John to understand that he could depend on reliable care by incredible medical professionals if he were ever to get sick. To my surprise John, rather disconsolately, asked why healthcare workers are so highly regarded in our society? In his words, "A physician has the same value as a janitor or a construction worker to society, and they should be treated and paid the same." I personally don't know how we could define what profession has the most value to society, so I did not have an answer to that. However, I explained to him that different jobs require different skill sets and that being a physician requires a medical education and many years of training, and for some people, a considerable amount of debt and personal sacrifice.

John and I have different views on different topics. At times, I felt frustrated talking to him, but I realized that most people in his life do not challenge his views or have similar views. So, when I have a study break, I try to challenge those views. At first, I tried to impose my scientific beliefs on social distancing and how the pandemic is not a hoax. However, I have learned that the best thing I could do is to listen, not take anything personally, share my views and experiences, show him some evidence, and accept that it is not my responsibility to change his mind.

Despite our differences, John taught me a lot about life, cooking, the little things in life that should matter, and the importance of being a good parent. Despite not having much, he gave everything to his daughter and raised her as a single father. Sometimes, John reminds me of my mother and how she gave up everything for me to become the man I am today. Living with John for 74 days, I learned that despite our difference, we need to listen to each other and have civil conversations. Although these might be difficult, we all can coexist together in this country or this planet that we all call home.

What difficult conversations did you have in quarantine? Please share in the comment or email me at emailme@salimgnabode.com or salim.gnabode@tufts.edu

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The immigrant experience is oft-documented by cultural historians, sociologists, and economists. They delve into the distinct joys and difficulties faced by non-American individuals, journeying to “make it big” in the “land of opportunity.” In today’s rapidly globalizing community, there is another generation of American individuals that requires recognition. There exists a noticeable community that represents the intersection of both the immigrant and native experience, having been born in the States (or spent negligible time in their native land) but growing up with values, traditions, and beliefs that might resemble their parents’ birthplace more than a “typical” American upbringing.

Second-generation immigrants are not immigrants at all, despite the undeniable fact that their parents’ native backgrounds heavily influence their lived experiences – ranging from learning their parents’ native language to adopting similar religious values to engaging in unambiguously cultural traditions. The resurgence of cultural enclaves has laid the groundwork for many to stay the course in the comfort of seeking out other individuals that might look like or hold values similar to themselves, limiting their involvement and exposure to the rest of American culture. On the other hand, second-generation immigrants are also a rapidly budding subset of the American population. They typically fare well socializing with fellow Americans in educational and workplace environments stemming from their early-onset immersion into American culture. The result is a generation of young adults with an embossed stamp of Americanism, attributable solely to their American upbringing. In an effort to assimilate, some of these second-generation folks end up suppressing or even giving up their entire stake in their parents’ native background. 

Questions about one cultural identity or the other develop into cognitive dissonance, resulting in conflict, often at the expense of at least one cultural identity, sometimes both. Second-generation immigrants can often attest to not quite “fitting in” with general American society, unable to understand 4th of July fanfare and Thanksgiving traditions. They then realize, in a rude awakening, that they are undoubtedly dissimilar to, and sometimes even rejected from, their parents’ native cultures. This often materializes when visiting their parents’ native “motherland.” Growing up in the diaspora does not lend itself to changing with the times. From the ashes of the aforementioned arises a sort of immigrant-American culture, a third paradigm that is unequivocally bicultural. The most prominent feature of these individuals is the shared experience of managing this balance between two cultures.

I will concede that my writing is not to identify to anything novel. My descriptions are likely extremely common among individuals that genetically have their foot in two arenas, such as an American-born child with an Indian mom and an American dad. Here, the term “biculturalism” seems to miss the point of that third identity. Triculturalism? 2.5-culturalism? However, taking this a step further, what about an American-born child with an Indian mom and a German dad? Are they quadri-cultural? American, Indian, German, and a 4th cultural identity that exists at the intersection of the three?

I personally wrestle with this constantly. My identity is always in flux with my strong affinity for both Korean and American culture. This experience exactly is the crux upon which my “multicultural identity” lies.

Jacob is a Tufts University School of Medicine Class of 2023 MD Candidate. He is also pursuing an MBA at the Heller School of Social Policy and Management at Brandeis University. In his free time, he enjoys running, playing volleyball, and exploring new places.

I always believed that growing up in Africa presented unique challenges. Many Africans, particularly West Africans, believe this to be true. Terms such as ‘poverty’, ‘corruption’, ‘hunger’, ‘disease’, and ‘death’ often infiltrate conversations regarding my home. Oddly enough however, I felt that I lived a rich life in Benin. I grew up surrounded by love, wealth, integrity, happiness, and vivacity. My parents always ensured that my four siblings and I never lacked anything. They pushed us to further our education and to be contributing members of society.

Upon moving to the US, however, I realized that we did not have it all. 

Coming to the US was an entirely humbling experience. Though I knew that great opportunities lay ahead of me, having to learn English, integrate into American culture, live in different conditions than I was accustomed to, and face the backlash of being a black, Muslim, immigrant man was quite difficult. My confidence plummeted as I navigated life in my newfound home. Of these experiences, however, learning English was the most humbling.

As my thick Beninese accent infiltrated every English word I spoke, I was constantly reminded of the fact that I was an outsider and needed to work even harder to prove myself in the US. The ease at which I made friends in my West African community was not translated to the US. I had to learn to define myself in ways that made sense in an American context. I was no longer comfortable communicating with strangers. The French and Yoruba twang of my speech gave me away. As I progressed in my English as a Second Language Class at the International Center in New York, I learned to listen. I learned to take the knowledge where I could find it and use it to better myself. With my father’s continuous disapproval of my education in the US and my mother’s death, I had to learn about resilience and humility on my own. 

Being an outsider in the US truly prepared me for a career in medicine. I find that communication is incredibly important while working in the medical field. Upon arriving in the US, I relied on the patience and kindness of strangers while I tried to explain myself in a language I did not fully understand. I can be that person for others. Whether that language is one not often spoken in the US or quite simply the scientific jargon that the average person may not understand, I hope to provide every patient with the respect that was often given to me. Through this experience, I am able to truly empathize with people who are feeling vulnerable and out of place. I also find that I can better serve individuals who identify as immigrants and as people of color.

To most Africans, moving to a first world country is a synonym for happiness. My experience living in the US proved this wrong. I have found that because of my personal experience, I will be able to engage in patient interaction and care in ways that many others cannot. Being humbled by my migration to the US was truly a blessing. 

If so, you’re in good company. These feelings are known as impostor syndrome, or what psychologists often call “impostor phenomenon.” An estimated 70% of people experience symptoms associated with impostor syndrome at some point in their lives. I have been asked by one of my followers on Instagram to share my experience regarding how I dealt with imposter syndrome, which has precipitated the following.

First of all, what exactly is imposter syndrome?

The imposter syndrome is a psychological term referring to a pattern of behavior where people doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent, often internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud. Not an actual disorder, the term was coined by clinical psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in 1978, when they found that despite having adequate external evidence of accomplishments, people with imposter syndrome remained convinced that they don’t deserve the success they have.

Megan Dalla-Camina

I have to admit that I did not feel much like an imposter in my undergraduate program. I was surrounded by people who looked and sounded like me or had similar life experiences as immigrants. As an immigrant from Benin, at York College in New York City I was surrounded by people I could relate to, I was not self-conscious about the little things like other people being unable to understand my accent or that I did not belong. Although I was the Premed Club president, I avoided the cutthroat Premed students. I found that hanging out with the non-premed student and joining other organizations to be more relaxing. However, the feeling of being an imposter grew more as I began to leave my comfort zone, my undergraduate program, and began to do research and internships at other institutions.

I think when I really felt the most like an imposter was in graduate school during my Master of Biomedical Science at Duke University. I honestly didn't know what imposter syndrome was until we had a guest speaker lecturing about her experience dealing with imposter syndrome in higher education. That day, not only did I realize that imposter syndrome was a thing but I also learned that many of my classmates and I also were experiencing the symptoms of imposter syndrome. At the end of the presentation when the lecturer asked us in the audience if we have ever felt like an imposter, nearly everyone raised their hand.

As an incoming medical student, I realize that the feeling of being an imposter will never leave me. I will most likely feel like an imposter for the rest of my medical education. So instead of worrying about it, I use it as a motivation.

After I was able to define what imposter syndrome is and realize that I have experienced it at different institutions, I now know that it is more important to believe that I belong at those institutions--after all, I was accepted because of my hard work. When I don’t fit in with the "cool kids", I find other people I can relate to and hang out with.

Throughout this process, I also learned that it is more important to be patient and believe in myself.

I, like many others, am an intersectional being. I am an African man. I eat Yoruba and Egun food and speak with a French/African accent. I have known extreme poverty and extreme wealth. I have experienced racism, anti-muslim rhetoric, and xenophobia across the world-- France, Hong Kong, Benin, and the US. Of all the characteristics that identify me, my name, Salim Adewale Gnabode, encompasses my self identity in ways that I would never have expected.  

When a child is born in the Yoruba community, they are usually named seven days after their birth. On the seventh day of my birth, I was given the name ‘Salim’ meaning ‘safe and healthy’ in Arabic. I have found an irony in the name. While my life has been filled with instability, pain, and loss, my name has brought about a sense of hope for the future. It is also a constant reminder of the work I hope to do--break about safety and health to those around me.

My second name, Adewale, means ‘the king or crown has arrived home’ in Yoruba. This name also proves complex in that the idea of home is often misconstrued. Though I grew up in Benin, my time living in different places on the planet has molded me; and at some places where I lived, I have being reminded of the fact that I did not belong. This feeling, and the true meaning of my name, allows me to see how the external world can truly impact the lives of people.

Gnabode is a word in the Fon language that I do not understand. Oddly enough, my lack of knowledge regarding my last name is informative. After the loss of my mother and the abandonment by my father, there has been a blank space in my family and in my life. Gnabode serves to remind me that there are spaces in my life that I know nothing about. There are places for me to grow, within my own identity and outside of it.

My names remind me of my background. They remind me of where I came from and their interpretation will soon prove to be different as time passes. My life, much like my names, has been complex but has taught me important lessons about who I am and who I want to be.

Around this time last year, I was also dealing with many family issues, and I was worried about how I'm going to manage my MCAT studies along with my graduate school coursework. Besides, someone recommended that I should consider nursing instead of medicine because as a nursing student I would be able to have a job while I’m in school as I was having financial difficulties. I thought it was a realistic and honest suggestion as the person knows me well, but I’ve never considered nursing as a career choice (I could talk about why I’m interested in becoming a physician in another blog post). The good news is that I have received an acceptance to one of my top medical schools (yay). I feel like I have accomplished some of the goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year; thus, before setting myself new goals for the upcoming year, I would like to reflect.

To sum up, 2018 has been an excellent year for me and it has allowed me to learn more about myself: strengths and weaknesses.

However, Let’s take a step back into seven years ago…

Around this time seven years ago, I have been living in the US for about three months, and I was eager to pursue my goal of becoming a physician. As I arrived here, I quickly became aware that terms such as ‘poverty,’ ‘corruption,’ ‘hunger,’ ‘disease,’ and ‘death’ often infiltrate conversations regarding West Africa. However, I felt that I lived a rich life in Benin. I grew up surrounded by love, wealth, integrity, happiness, and vivacity. My mother (RIP) always ensured that my four siblings and I never lacked anything. She pushed us to further our education and to be contributing members of society. Upon moving to the US, however, I realized that we did not have it all. Though I knew that great opportunities lay ahead of me in the US, having to learn English, integrate into the American culture, live in more impoverished conditions than I was accustomed to, and face the backlash of being an African immigrant man was quite difficult. My confidence plummeted as I navigated life in my newfound home.

I think it is important to remember where you came from and what you have been through. Sometimes, when I'm having a bad day, thinking about where I was years ago helps me remember that I can overcome the issues and fix the problems that I have now. This incredible feeling of knowing how far you've come in life has no match with the feeling of being defeated.

Now back into 2018,

I believe my experience moving to NYC at 17 had helped me to quickly adapt when I moved to Durham, NC for graduate school and when I was working this summer in Hong Kong. When you live in a city like NYC where everything and everyone is constantly on the go, you learn that it is essential to maintain effective self-care routines and a strong social support network. However, you also learn to keep your circle small.

Keeping my circle small has been an essential aspect of my year. From my experience during my undergraduate years, I have learned that I don't need a million friends in my life to feel supported and happy. Friendship is so valuable to me, and I am so grateful to the friends I have in my life. If I consider you one of my really good friends (even if I don’t talk to you often), know that I trust you, respect you, and I am loyal to you as a friend. I don't need the fake people in my life, and neither should you.

If you are in the same situation like I was in undergrad (I had a lot of friends back then huh) and find that distancing yourself from some people might benefit you more than harm you, then do it.

In my case, I try to stay away from some of my friends who do not understand their privileges--especially those who don't understand why unlike them I must have two or three jobs to survive. We all have privileges and what hurt me is when some people don't acknowledge their privilege or worst--deny it. I'm also privileged. I speak multiple languages; I have unique experiences growing up in Africa. I'm a heterosexual, cis-gender, Beninese-American; I have a master degree from Duke and I'm going to be a physician...Understanding my privilege has given me the opportunity to put myself into someone else shoes and realize what hoops they have to go through to be successful.

I also learned this past year to not take things personally. For example, I have had people telling me that I would not become the successful fashion model or influencer I thought I was going to be a couple of years ago. Although, I initially didn't appreciate it, I'm grateful that they have told me that--more importantly, I'm thankful for the experiences and the opportunities I was able to get as an aspiring fashion model. My “short modeling” career has allowed me to get out of my comfort zone, meet and work with amazing and passionate people.

I’m excited about going into this new year knowing that I’m getting closer to my dream of becoming a physician. Thus, I have to set myself new goals. My only goal for 2019 is to be happy because one of the lessons I have learned in 2018 is that having a lot of goals can reduce my overall happiness. Therefore in 2019, I'm just trusting the process and enjoying my journey.

To all of you, Happy Holidays and Best Wishes for 2019!

Coming to the USA at 17 years old, speaking no English, I did not know what to expect. I had a lot of ambition, but I was also very realistic... While applying for college in the USA I was only looking for a school that would accept me, a school I could attend, and where I would receive an excellent education. I came from a modest background and I lacked guidance when it came to selecting a college. I chose York College, a public school in New York. It was not the best school around me, or the closest, but it was the only place I felt conformable. Not everyone I met at York was supportive or believed in me, but there were people who did. One of these people who I’m the most grateful for is Dr. James Popp. Dr. Popp is a particle physicist who works at Fermi Lab. He gave me the opportunity to be his Teacher Assistant after taking my first physics class with him. I had never liked physics before taking this class. I remember him jokingly tell me that if I wanted to become an orthopedic surgeon I should be able to get A's in his classes. That was my motivation. Dr. Popp knew about my interest in medicine but his mentoring was more focused on particle physics. In my sophomore year of college, I got accepted into the Early Medical Education at SUNY Downstate College of Medicine which gave me a guaranteed acceptance into their college of medicine once I graduated and to get a certain percentile on the MCAT. The same summer Dr. Popp wanted me to work with him at Fermi Lab but I was required to take classes at SUNY Downstate. This was a large dilemma, but I followed my heart and my passion. I want to become a physician, so I chose to attend Downstate that summer. I did not do very well on the MCAT. But that experience helped me realize that not everyone needs to understand why you make the choices that you do as long as you are happy.

I believe everyone has a purpose in life. I believe my purpose in life is to become a physician. By having this purpose, my life is going in a direction with meaning. Once I do something with purpose, I do it with determination. I see every obstacle or bad situation as a catalyst for growth, as an opportunity to enlighten myself, and to shape me into the person I’m meant to be.

The past six weeks have been an eye-opening experience for me. Moving to a new place and adapting while also trying to keep up academically and socially can be a very challenging experience. I have never seen myself doing a masters program before heading to medical school, but now that I'm here at Duke, I know how prepared I will be for medical school and beyond. This is my seventh week living in Durham and I am still missing home (New York City). I’m missing my family, my old lifestyle, and in particular the NYC subway since I don’t drive here and basically, you can’t get around here if you don’t have a car. However, having a roommate, a classmate, a friend and someone to talk to has been very helpful.

I had a lot of expectations coming to Duke. However, one of the things I was not expecting was having to read eight chapters of my Emergency Technician textbook and completing assignments  the weekend before the first day of class. My first week of class was not the best. Moving to Durham two days before orientation and trying to settle in was a big mistake. If I have to do this over again, I would probably have moved here ten days before classes started to allow myself the time to settle in and get to know around me. One thing I like about being here though is that people have a genuine interest in you. That is definitely something I was not used to in New York. Because of the Duke Master of Biomedical Science (MBS) program’s emphasis on team based learning, I was able to meet and get to know at least half of my classmates by the end of our two-day orientation. That also allowed me to get out of my comfort zone and go to Shooters II (Duke student’s favorite salon night club), a place I wouldn’t naturally go (LOL).

One of the reasons I chose to spend my gap year doing a masters program was self-growth. I have been getting a lot of biomedical knowledge since I’ve been here, but I am also growing as a person. One of the things I have learned since being here has been that being the loudest in the room does not necessarily make you the strongest. Being humble and acknowledging when you do not know things or when you make mistakes, make you the strongest. I’m not necessarily saying that being quiet makes you the strongest, but it also doesn’t make you the weakest. Everything is a balance, and sometimes it is more about being able to understand the level of perception of others. Another thing I have learned in my previous life that still applies to my new professional life is not to takes thing personally. Taking things personally is a sign of low self-esteem. When you take things personally, you might be sensitive to the words or actions of others, or you negatively interpret things. Perhaps someone says something which you take as an insult or you assume a person doesn’t like you if they walk past without saying hello. Taking things personally may cause you to feel inadequate, ashamed, or even angry at yourself or the other person. It’s disempowering and can worsen your self-esteem. However, you can build your self-esteem when you stop taking things personally. 

I’m trying to make the best out of this experience, making new friends, growing as a person, and be where I need to be career wise. Another reason I’m here is that I just don’t want to become an Radiologist, I want to be a good one. I have learned that great things take time, so I’m trying to get the most I can from being here in Durham. I’m also trying to keep up with creating new good content which actually takes time (something I don’t have right now), but I'm trying… Stay connected!

I love to dress well whenever I can. That's obviously something you already know by now. I sometimes feel too dressed up for some events, and people have told me that. However,
the most important thing about dressing up for any occasion is to feel comfortable in what you are wearing. It is also good to step out your comfort zone sometimes.  I'm usually a trousers' guy meaning I love wearing pants rather than jeans. I honestly own few jeans. The reason being my previous jobs requires me to dress professional, and I also like dressing professionally when I'm meeting clients for my freelancing jobs. Sometimes, I also want to be well dressed and be casual as much as possible.

I picked up this suit from Zara for my graduation. It is deep blue because that is my favorite color. It is an outfit you can wear for any occasion. The size of the blazer is 34, and the trouser is 29. I decided to pair the suit with a sneaker and a polo which I also purchased from Zara. I usually pick up Zara for my apparel because their stuff are good quality, durable, fashionable and affordable. They also care about what they customer wants in term of fashion trends, that's one of the reasons they are largest fashion retailers in the world by sales. They are currently making a summer sale, make sure you check them out.

On the other hands, I pick up my accessories for this outfit from Classy Men Collection (CMC). You can read my previous blog post about CMC and don't forget to use the exclusive discount code "SalimGnabode" to get 20% off for all the order you make with them.
 

But did the game change my perception of the American football culture? Well, you have to read this article to find out. Be aware that I'll be using the word football and soccer interchangeably in this article).

Soccer or Football (whatever you call it) is the most popular sport in the world. I would personally say it's the best sport and the statistics are there to back me up. It's consistently played by 265 million professional around the world (which is roughly the 4/5 of the US population), unlike American Football which is played only in the US. The rules are pretty simple. It's about getting the ball in the opposite net without using your hands. Also, you don't need some special equipment. Shoes are cute but not a necessity. With a ball and cones, you are ready to go, and you can play almost anywhere.

The US definitely has the infrastructure to implement soccer as a major sport, but we are still far behind compared to Europeans and South Americans countries.  According to Doug Andreassen, the chairman of US Soccer’s diversity task force, one of the reasons we are behind is because "the system is not working for the underserved community." "It’s working for the white kids.” He got a point though because when you considered a country like France which has some of the best prospects in the world you realize what is missing. Some Americans are even against the idea of playing foreign-born Americans in the National team because they might not be patriot enough but I'm sure those people are not against the idea of enlisting foreign-born Americans in the military. Mr. Andreassen also can’t ignore the fact that last Women’s World Cup winners were almost all white, or that several of the non-white players on the US Copa America roster grew up overseas. The talents of some of America’s best young players are being suffocated by a process that never lets them be seen. My point is, if the US want to become great football nation, they need to make the game accessible to everyone in the country.

When the world highest paid and the world most famous athlete is Cristiano Ronaldo, a soccer player, you would expect Americans to start embracing the beautiful game since Cristiano Jr (Ronaldo's son) is an American born citizen. But, why Americans are not entirely embracing the beautiful game?

Maybe it is because we are not good at it and we are not used to playing the role of underdogs (Yes that is what we are when it comes to football). Or is it because Football is not ours like Baseball, Hockey, Basketball, and Amerian Football are? Anyway, whatever the reason are, we need to realize that football is more than a game it is also a way to unite people around the world even if it every four years.

When it come to my initial question, I would say the game I went to watch at the Yankee Stadium change a little bit my perception of the soccer culture in America. The main reason for his change is that it was raining that day and people were still focused on the game. They were chanting under the rain, screaming, drinking, and eating. This is exactly what you would see in some of the biggest European stadium. However, I wish the stadium was full, and I also wish a football game was not being on a baseball field. That is really not attractive and is not the best way to promote the game and attract best players into the MLS.

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]]>Why Should Americans Embrace Football (Soccer)?EducationLifestyleSalim GnabodeWed, 07 Jun 2017 23:53:51 +0000https://www.salimgnabode.com/blog/askyourself58ebda3a893fc0148f28da45:58ebdb879de4bbb5bb23ab46:58fc36de20099eb9a721d661What did you do today? Why did you do it? What did you enjoy? What bothered you? And why did it bother you?

I have learned so much more about myself these past few months than ever before in my life. That's because I used to live without a plan and without being aware of the countless daily events and experiences. I wanted to travel the world, learn new languages and volunteer but these are not a priority for me right now.

Life has taught me that I need to prioritize things- the first being to get my degree. I will always have time to learn a new language, travel the world and volunteer. Life has also taught me to enjoy every single moment on my path to success, whatever that path is, wherever it leads and however I define success. Five years ago, I thought I couldn't survive college and that four years of school was too long. Five years later and here I am, with my Bachelor of Science in mathematics, with a minor in physics and planning to start a master’s program in about a month and, hopefully, medical school, sometime in the near future. Instead of worrying about how long it will take me, I'm takings thing slowly, while trying to enjoy every single moment of my journey. Patience is very rewarding. You can never skip some major steps in life because it might come back to haunt you. Don't rush anything. I'm very confident that when the time is right, it will just happen. I would have done the heavy lifting.

If you ever think that you might have offended me, you must know that I don't take things personally, but I also don't forget what people say or do. I believe what someone says about another individual tells how much he or she values that person and their relationship. I don't forget, but I forgive. There have been many times in the past two years when I have had to deal with hypocrisy and jealousy and it has definitely been a learning experience. Don't invest too much of yourself in people that don’t appreciate you. Don't waste your time and feelings on the wrong people.  We all make mistakes, but what make us different is how we deal with our mistakes. When you offend someone on purpose or not, the right thing is to apologize. At least, you will get that off your chest. The person whom you offended also has the right to accept or reject your apology, and you must respect that but, at least, first, do the right thing!

Every day presents an opportunity for growth. Every day is also an opportunity to learn more about yourself and the world. Whatever ideas you have, don't be afraid to share them. Perhaps, if you don’t, there may come a time when someone else might implement the same ideas first and you have to deal with the sinking realization that you have lost.

Finally, don't forget that life doesn't stop at your workplace or your school; it goes beyond that. The impressions you make on people could be lifelong. However, you can't force friendships. Some relationships are just not meant to happen.  Remember how far you have come. Remember life is a journey. Remember everything you have faced- all the battles you have won and all the fears you have had to overcome.  And … more importantly, embrace the future.

Here are two brands I frequently use for my accessories:

• Hextie

Hextie is a luxury brand. Their ties combine old fashioned elegance with an eclectic outspoken design. They are located in New York. They also offer other time of accessories for men such as bracelets, timepieces, sunglasses, jewelry, etc...They usually offer some good sales, make sure to create an account with them to not miss it out.

• Classy Men Collection

The idea of CMC came from the fact that it is very hard for men to find high-class accessories & clothing with affordable prices. They decided to build a store where you will find all men's essentials in one place, and better yet, for a reasonable price. CMC make the shopping experience as easy and pleasant as possible - with well working and simple page, secure checkout, and free worldwide shipping. Their products are very classy and simplistic and thus are fitted for multiple different looks. Whether you're looking for classic pieces to upgrade your wardrobe with or something more special to make your style unique - you've come to the right place. CMC  started with a set of accessories for men, including watches, belts, sunglasses and other essentials. They have plans to upgrade their collection with more variety and create a collection for women as well.
Use exclusive discount code "SALIMGNABODE" to get 20% off on all your order from the Classy Men Collection.

I have been treated in different ways by the same people on many occasions such that I can control the way that I want to be treated depending on how I present myself to people. There was a time when I was in Queens looking for the address of a student that I was going to tutor. I went to the wrong address. The guy who came out let me know that it was three blocks further and even proposed to walk me there. Before that, though, I met a man on the street who came up to me and asked why I looked so lost. I told him where I was going, and he told me where to go. However, I didn't listen to him. On my way home, I started asking myself the reasons why I did not listen to the first guy but to the second. Was that because of how they presented themselves? I figured out that I judged the information they had provided to me based on their appearance rather than the content of the information.
A similar situation happened to me another time. I was walking in the airport in Istanbul, going to my hotel, when this English-speaking tourist came to me and asked me for directions. I was surprised because I didn't know any place in Istanbul. Then, I realized that she could have asked any other person in the waiting room, but she came directly to me. At that moment, I felt good about myself, but I also started wondering if she would have come to me if I had been less well dressed. I wasn't able to help her find her way, but I appreciated that she thought I could.

I'm one of those who believe that the way you dress says a lot about how you want to be treated by others. So why does the way you dress matter?

Well, it matters because if you believe in yourself, people will believe in you. Taking care of yourself and dressing well makes other see that successful part of you. You don't need to wear expensive clothes to dress well. All you need is to find your style and be consistent with it. You need to look your best in whatever environment you are. This is because when you look your best consistently, you look like you have your life together. That is what you want to show to your employees, employer, students, teachers, customers, etc.
When I talk about the importance of dressing well, I am not just referring to the professional aspect. It is something that extends to all areas of your life since your clothes are a large part of who you are as a person. Not only does it make you feel good, but it can also largely influence your daily and long-term interaction with people.
There are many reasons why you should dress well, but here are few reasons that will help make my case!

• Science says so!
  A study by Lefkowitz, Blake, and Mouton (1955) proved that business suits portray a form of authority. In an experiment, they had someone in a city cross the street on a red light. When he was dressed in a suit, three-and-a-half as many people followed him than when he was wearing a work shirt and trousers. Also, Columbia University and Cal State Northridge published a study that examines how clothing may affect one's thoughts. The results found that wearing formal clothes can free people from concrete thinking while boosting their ability to think more practically.
• First impressions count, and you never know who you might run into.
  Imagine you get the job of your dreams at a big law firm in Manhattan, but you are still fresh from college, and your old college attitudes have not left you. You dress like a recruited Greek-affiliated student. This might lower your chance of being noticed and promoted.
• Formal wear keeps you productive and develops self-respect.
  Dressing in very comfortable clothes gives you a competitive edge and helps you break stereotypes. Stereotypes affect others' opinions on your abilities and intentions any time you're dealing with people from different ethnic or age groups, cultures, or the perceived "norm." If someone is harboring a negative stereotype, consciously or unconsciously, it can be very hard to get off on the right foot with that person. If you dress well, you are not just going to be impressive during your job interview but also help you to gain new businesses or opportunities.
• It shows your attention to detail.
  Putting time and effort into your outfit, with matching accessories, can demonstrate your attention to detail. How can this be an advantage? If you take pride in how you look, you will also take pride in the work you do. It also signifies that you can stand behind your job, which could give you an edge.
   

For those like me who can't afford to own a car in this concrete jungle of New York City, public transportation is the best way to get around. But sometimes, even a subway ride can be a burden on one's bank account. It would be great if we are paying to have a quality service.

Why isn't anyone protesting about the poor New York City subway service? (I guess we are all too busy doing our thing.)

My experience with the New York City subway is awful, and I'm sure many riders have similar experiences. Do I need to mention the number of times I have been late to work or class because of the delays? I don't see the point of increasing the fare if the service is not getting better. Since I have been living in New York City in 2011, the fare has risen from 2.25 to 2.75. It is only a 50 cents increase, but the service has not gotten any better.
I have taken the Paris subway on many occasion, and it is cleaner and more reliable. Well, some would say the Subway in Paris doesn’t run 24 hours. But, is Paris the city that never sleeps? No! New York is. So, we deserve a subway system that runs 24 hours, but more importantly, we deserve an excellent service. Our subway is more than 100 years old. So it is time we do something about this because the greatest city in the world deserves a more reliable subway system. Anyway, it is good that New Yorkers are now getting a “free public education,”  but we also deserve a better subway system.

I have many stories to tell about my subway experience from my first show-time experience, seeing couples doing couples thing or random people argue about politics or this lady who threw up on me last new year's eve. But I’m sure you all have similar stories to tell, so instead of me telling you my stories, I would let you comment yours in the comment. However, I would like to share some interesting facts about the New York City Subway that you might not know.

Fact 1:
In 1993, 16-year-old Keron Thomas posed as a train conductor and drove an A train for three hours and safely delivered passengers to their destinations before he accidentally triggered an emergency brake on a fast curve.

Fact 2:
There is a secret train platform underneath the Waldorf-Astoria building that incredibly rich people could use. President Franklin Roosevelt used the station to help hide the fact that he used a wheelchair.

And there goes to my favorite fact which I hope will help some who are reading this…
Fact 3:
The MTA will email or fax you a "late letter" if a train delay causes you to be late for work or school.

I was born in the Benin Republic. Formerly known as Dahomey, Benin is one of Africa's most stable democracies. It is a small country located in West Africa. Since I have been living in the USA, many people I have come across have told that I'm the first Beninese they have met. Sometimes they don’t even know where the country is and  I have to locate it on the map for them.

Benin's shore, known as one of the Slave Coast, used to be a major point for slaves to be shipped across the ocean Atlantic. Voodoo is known to be originated from Benin. It represents an  important part of Benin's culture that the country's authorities have dedicated a day annually to celebrate it. Other elements of Benin culture brought by slaves are still present in the Americas.

Benin was a former French West African colonies until its independence on August 1st 1960. The official language of the country is French. But other major language spoken in the country are: Fon, Bariba, Dendi, and Yoruba (which is my native language). The country capital is Porto Novo also known as the city with three names (Porto Novo, Hognonou, Adjatche is where I was born. Porto Novo is right in the middle of the Yoruba land. Other notables cities of Benin are:

• Cotonou: It is the largest city and economic center of Benin. It is the home to most of the country's government buildings and diplomatic services. The city is a major port and home to an airport. Cotonou has become a crossroads of West African commerce, with much trade moving here from Abidjan  enabling trade with the countries of the African interior, such as Mali, Burkina Faso and Niger.

• Abomey: also known as the "Royal City",  is the capital of Dahomey, the ancient Kingdom. It has one of the most impressive museums of Africa. It's artists and craftsmen, be they weavers, jewelers, wood carvers, iron and brass workers are famous far beyond the boundaries of the country.

• Ganvie: Africa's unique floating villages built on stilts. It was added to the UNESCO World Heritage Tentative List on October 31, 1996 in the Cultural category. Motorboats or dugouts are available for the trips across the lake to the Ganvie. During the trip, there are Akadjas made of stakes and bushes in the shape of open circles or triangles driven into the bed of the plantless Lake. Seeking shelter among the foliage, the fish can thus be easily caught or kept for breeding.

My experience living in Benin was great. Beninese are far from being perfect but they are peaceful people. I have received a wonderful education that makes me who I am today. I have also met wonderful people throughout my time growing up there. Some notable Beninese you need to know are (of course Salim Gnabode first):

• Angelique Kidjo:  She is a Beninese Grammy Award-winning singer-songwriter and activist, noted for her diverse musical influences and creative music videos. She has been dubbed  "Africa's premier diva" by Times Magazines.The Guardian has listed her as one of its Top 100 Most Inspiring Women in the World and Kidjo is the first woman to be listed among "The 40 Most Powerful Celebrities In Africa" by Forbes magazine. Kidjo’s now resides in Brooklyn, New York City where she is an occasional contributor to the New York Times. She has received Honorary Doctorates from Yale University, Berklee College of Music and Middlebury College.

• Djimon Hounsou: He is a Beninese-American actor and model. He was married to model Kimmora Lee Simon with who they have a son Kenzo Lee Hounsou. Djimon Hounsou gained recognition for his roles in Beauty Shop (2005) as Joe, Blood Diamond (2006) as Solomon Vandy,  Guardian of the Galaxy (2014) as Korath, Furious 7 (2015) as Mose jakande,  The Lezend or Tarzan (2016) as Chief Mbonga.  He has been nominated for a Golden Globe Awards, three Screen Actors Guild Awards and two Academy Awards.

• Bertin Nahum: He is a Beninese entrepreneur residing in France, President and Founder of Medtech, which designs and markets the medical robotic technology ROSA. He holds a Master of Science degree in Robotics from Conventry University (UK). In September 2012, he was classified 4th in top 10 of the most Revolutionary High-Tech Entrepreneurs in the ranking of the Canadian magazine Discovery Series, positioning just behind Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg and James Cameron. His company Medtech was elected Frost & Sullivan’s European Company of the Year for surgical robotics in 2013.