As I ‘ve gotten older, wiser, and with the help of therapy I am finally learning how to be…me. Working on being me is like trying to juggle flaming swords while riding a unicycle—except instead of swords, it's family, work, and the ever-present desire to keep being me. Let’s face it, showing up for others in a way that’s true to me without morphing into a people-pleaser is the ultimate balancing act. It’s SO hard ya’ll, but I’m pushing through.

First off, there’s the husband. Bless his heart, he “loves home cooked meals” and would rather eat at home than grab take out.  The problem is, frankly, I don’t have time for that; nor do I enjoy using my weekends to meal prep. My weekends are already full of other exciting adventures like binge-watching TV and perfecting the art of doing absolutely nothing. And so this lands me back on that unicycle with the flaming swords.  Authentically, I would be happy with take out everyday, but I also know that’s super unhealthy and would wreak havoc on our budget.  So I compromise: I cook when I’m feeling adventurous (and usually prepare enough to last a week), and when that’s gone, I wield my enthusiasm and a takeout menu like a pro. That’s me—always trying, never perfect, but perfectly imperfect.

Then there are the kids. My daughter’s volleyball games are an exercise in exaggerated cheering, while my son’s tennis matches test my ability to silently say he’s great without displaying too much emotion or even acknowledging that an event is actually happening. Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing anything right by them, doing my best to show up how they need me. I figure if nothing else they’ll remember I was there.  Always in the stands, maybe not as loud or too loud, but always there, and that is authentic to me! 

For most of my life, I’ve been a people-pleaser. My mantra was simple: make others happy, even if it meant compromising my own well-being. Speaking up for myself or being my own advocate? That was foreign territory. I navigated life by prioritizing what I thought would make others happy, often at my own expense.

But here’s the thing about journeys—they often start with a single, hesitant step. As I venture into this space of self-discovery and personal growth, I’m finding my voice. Now, I won’t sugarcoat it: this voice is soft, quiet, and a bit unsure. Yet, it’s more than I’ve ever had. I’m learning that it’s okay to speak my mind, and perhaps this is what people mean when they talk about being comfortable in your own skin.

For the longest time, I associated speaking up with being confrontational. What if people didn’t like what I had to say? What if they thought I was stupid or, worse, not good enough? These fears used to paralyze me. But I’m discovering that if someone does judge me harshly for expressing my thoughts, they’re simply not my people. The real treasure is finding those who champion my voice and create a safe space for me to share my thoughts and opinions.

Surrounding myself with these supportive individuals has made my once-quiet voice a bit louder and more confident. Sometimes, I even surprise myself with what I’m capable of saying. And you know what? It feels good. It feels liberating not to be constantly bogged down by the pressure of meeting others’ expectations. It feels empowering to know that others value what I have to say.

This process is like shedding a layer that no longer fits me. Each small moment of bravery is a step forward on this path of self-discovery. It’s exhilarating to think that if this small feat makes me feel good inside, there’s so much more I have yet to unlock. The journey is far from over, and I’m excited to see what new discoveries await.

So, here’s to finding our voices, however soft they may be at first, and to surrounding ourselves with those who make us feel heard and valued. These moments of self-discovery remind us that we are capable of more than we once believed.

What about you?

• How do you know you have found your voice on your journey?

• What small victories are you celebrating along the way? 

Listen… stop right now and truly listen. What do you hear? Chances are, there’s never a moment of absolute silence. There’s always some ambient noise—the hum of the central air system, the sound of cars passing by, the TV in the living room, or even the vibrations of your phone. For me, silence is more than just a lack of sound; it’s an uncomfortable void where my mind fills in the gaps with a cacophony of thoughts.

You see, silence makes me uncomfortable. It’s in those quiet moments when my brain seems to run on overdrive. My mind takes advantage of the stillness to mull over a million thoughts: Did I turn on the dishwasher? What will I wear tomorrow? Should I set up my home office now, or wait until I know what I'll need? Did I build up my daughter’s confidence today? The list goes on and on. It’s never-ending, and it’s often overwhelming.

As I’ve been working on myself, I’ve searched for ways to find comfort in the silence. I’ve tried various methods(reading, journaling, even exercise) to make the silence less loud and less intrusive. During this quest, I stumbled upon a quote that struck a chord with me: “Confidence is silent. Insecurities are loud.” It was a revelation. The silence I’ve been avoiding, I realized, can only come from a place of confidence.

My silence has often been filled with questions and second-guessing—hallmarks of my insecurities. To find true silence, I needed to work on building my confidence. So now, as I lay in bed, my silence is still present, but it’s no longer as deafening as it once was. I’m learning to lay still, listen to the silence, and manage the “noise” that comes with it. I recognize my insecurities creeping in and combat them with positive affirmations.

Am I good enough? Am I a good enough daughter? Mother? Wife? Friend? Sister? Colleague? Community member?  This is a question I ask myself A LOT.  

I’m a people pleaser so when people aren’t pleased with what I’ve done I begin to ask myself that question. Am I good enough? Now I know the “right” answer is yes. I’m always good enough, but if I’m being honest here. I don’t often feel like I am good enough. I often feel like I fall short of the expectations people have of me. Am I a good enough mother? My kids might say yes, but when I reflect on my parenting I can immediately identify 12+ different areas where I’ve sucked as a parent and struggle to find areas where I am good enough.  Am I a good  enough daughter? This one makes me chuckle because I know my mother would argue that I have no idea of what people actually expect of me so creating a “good enough” meter based on what I think people expect of me is asinine.  Yet here we are. Again if I reflect I can say no. I’m not a good enough daughter. I don’t call my father nearly as much as I should. I get mad when my mother doesn’t respond the way I want her to, and I don’t visit as much as I should.  

I place a lot of my value in being good enough for others. I tell myself if I’m good enough people will find value in me and want to include me in their lives. So I go out of my way to do things for others to prove my value. Writing this right now I can see how ridiculous it is but in the moment; in my day to day life I don’t see that. My whole life is an exchange of what I can do to be good enough for someone.  Which makes me think what makes me good enough for me?  The answer is….I don’t know. I want to say being good enough for me is just being happy. Being happy with my decisions and actions without remorse or guilt.

Now, as I navigate this path of self-discovery, I'm beginning to realize that the pursuit of being "good enough" isn't about achieving perfection in someone else’s eyes. It's about finding inner peace. Each day brings small victories—moments where I challenge old beliefs and embrace new perspectives.

Unlearning old habits is part of this process. I'm letting go of the need to constantly please others and measure my worth by their standards. Instead, I'm forging a new understanding of what truly matters: my own happiness and fulfillment. It's about honoring my needs and desires, even when they diverge from what others expect.

This journey isn't always easy. There are moments of doubt and hesitation, but I'm a work in progress!

I recently listened to a podcast where the gentleman being interviewed discussed his journey to self discovery through childhood traumas. Something he said in that interview blew my mind. He said,  "I did the work to build my smile." 

In a previous blog I spoke about the idea of joy triggers and being intentional about acknowledging the things and moments that bring us joy. I stand behind that but I feel like what was missing from that blog was that... triggering joy is a part of the work to build my own smile. As a millennial, I feel like my generation has done an AMAZING job at identifying and naming the faults or missteps of previous generations but we haven't quite gotten a solid handle on doing the work to build (or re- build) our smiles. Now, let me be clear, in no way am I suggesting that anyone's individual or collective trauma is invalid; but what all of our public discourse doesn't have enough of is consistent or cohesive conversation about life beyond the trauma or the fight for acknowledgement. How do we thrive in life? What/where/how and when do we take off our superhero capes and find peace?

For me, building my smile is about filling my free time with things and people I enjoy. It's seeing my son using his imagination to play independently. It's watching Christmas movies on Lifetime and Hallmark in the winter. It's the million talks a day with my mom and sister. It's the witty conversations with my dad. It's the little bit of excitement I get about my first sip of coffee in the morning. My smile is being built by the little things that happen around me all the time. My smile is about the experience of joy, happiness, and peace in spite of all of the fear, trauma, hurt, and sadness that surrounds us. And so I ask, how are you building your smile?

Want support to help you build your smile? Schedule a free 30-minute Strategy Session to discover how to build your smile.

Trigger Warning: JOY

American culture has an obsession with hurt, pain, sadness, depression, and drama. At every turn we’re hearing bad news, we’re getting warnings and amber alerts. There is an almost constant stream of negativity and fear mongering messaging directed at us. And as a collective society we are often left to process those messages and traumatic experiences without support, or common language we can use to share how we're being impacted on the individual level. The experience of peace, happiness, and joy on a daily basis seems like a luxury only afforded to our favorite reality stars (and even those experiences are short lived).

I don’t like this frame of the world. Lately, I find myself feeling suffocated by the never ending noise that doesn’t make me feel good. I feel myself carrying the stress of the world, it's in the nights that I toss and turn all night, or the days when I feel like I’m in a never ending brain fog. The impact of all of this is feeling EXHAUSTED and just plain over it! And as a result, I struggle to show up as the best version of myself. Nor is this how I want to experience life. Instead I want to experience joy! I want to feel like I have spaces in the world that are peaceful, safe and HAPPY! I want the people who are on this life journey with me to be a part of this joyful, peaceful, safe experience. So to remedy that, I’ve decided to be intentional about identifying the things in my life that trigger joy for me.

For me, this looks like an exercise of pausing in moments when things feel good (like deep down in my soul, inexplicable, genuinely putting a smile on my face, GOOD) and paying attention to what it is about that moment that is triggering joy for me. For example, I feel joy being triggered in the time I take to walk my child into school in the morning or when there's sweet or funny moments in the romance novel I’m reading. I hope to continue to add to this list of joy triggers over the next several weeks. My goal is that I am so filled with these daily occurrences of joy that I begin to feel lighter and more present in the moment. I also want to share with everyone around me trigger warnings for how something they did or said brought me joy.

So I’m hoping you will join me on this journey! What are some of your joy triggers? If you can’t think of any, how are you going about finding your joy? 

Want support to help you find joy? Schedule a free 30-minute Strategy Session to discover how to find your joy triggers.

By Courtney Sutton

I’ve been on a journey in the last few years really trying to discover my value. I say this not because I don’t believe or feel that I have value—but more, how are the things I do showing up in alignment with the things I say I value. I think if I searched this on Google or social media it might be coined “intentional living”. 

So let me backup a little bit. I became a mother a little over 4 years ago. Taking on the role of being responsible for raising another human has literally waged an aggressive war on everything I thought I knew about who I was and what life was. Having become a mother in my 30s I thought surely I’ve got this. I had grown through my teens and early adulthood and felt like I’d taken the steps I needed to be “established”. Then one random Wednesday morning in March a doctor handed me a baby and everything I thought I knew was…over.

Something about being responsible for this child made me think differently and look at things differently—and that's been going on for about 5 years now. As a mother, I want my child to have all the things. And as a parent with some privileges, I can within reason, give my child all of the things. I can buy the toys, we can take trips and have experiences—and we’ve done that. Yet, in the midst of doing all of that I still find myself not feeling fulfilled. Or even like I’m giving my child the lifestyle that I think they are deserving of. In fact, what I find myself feeling is empty, unfulfilled, exhausted and stressed. I realize that no matter how many things I buy, or how many experiences I can afford for my child or myself, having access to things doesn't actually add value to our life experience.

When I really think about it, I think I've lived a life where I use the consumption of things to create a sense of connection and community that doesn’t really exist. And as my child becomes more aware of our “budget” and consumption of things, I’m also noticing how my behavior is demonstrating value. When my child is planning for their next trip to the store, or is happy to  donate or throw away the thing because they know we’ll just replace it with another—it highlights for me that I’m not sending the message I want them to have. Mind you this is the child who regularly expresses their desire not to change our multi generational living arrangement because they “just love their family so much!” I can’t help but ask myself,  what am I doing?

Now, let me explain what I mean. If you ask me (or my child) about our happiest moments, those moments and experiences have very little to do with things that I brought. Our happiest moments are not connected to the designer bags, the newest Apple products or toys. Instead, our happy moments are on the holidays when all of our family is spending time together just playing games or listening to music and talking. It's  our drives to school in the morning listening to podcasts, or our dance parties and singing along to the Trolls soundtracks. It's going on playdates with friends. What I realize is our happy times are related to being in a community- real community, not scrolling through social media, not shopping for things, but enjoying our time with and around people…dare I say, we like people?!?!?!

What I’m discovering is that our optimal life is a lot slower and less flashy. Neither of us really find joy in having stuff but rather with the simple things in life. And as a mother (and just generally as a person)  I want more of that for myself and for my child. I want us to have a robust community that feels real and authentic. I want to have dinner parties with friends, I want my child to have more planned and by chance playdates, I want to be able to have simplicity and ease in our day to day experience. I want to be able to enjoy our life without feeling like we need to be on vacation. And I’m realizing that attaining this life is going to require a significant shift in how I go about curating our life.

Which brings me to the question, am I ready for this? Am I ready to be intentional about doing the things that align our lives to our values? Am I ready to slow down and think before I buy the shoes/ or other trendy item? Do I say no, to the instant gratification of the purchase? Am I going to be bold enough to say no, if the promotion does not align with us being able to be present and active in our community? Are we ready to experience the “loss” of people whose values don’t align with who and what we’re becoming? Am I strong enough to keep going when I feel scared or uncomfortable? 

I don’t have the answers to this, but I’m ready to start our transition. In the comments, share what you are contemplating being ready for. What helps you persevere when transition feels uncomfortable? One tool I am finding very helpful is the values exercise. Transitions are a great time to re-evaluate what is important to you. 

Want to give this a try with support? Schedule a free 30-minute Strategy Session to discover how to incorporate values into your life.

By Courtney Sutton

Sometimes I feel stuck in my own growth.

If the world around me is an indicator, I would think everyone is deep into their journey of self awareness, self care and mental health. Yet, I often find myself in social settings feeling like perhaps my understanding of growth, self care, and wellness is misaligned with the world.

When I talk to my peers, I feel like I’m speaking a different language. I hear people talk about self care as asking for help, or confronting people about problematic behavior/opinions, maintaining beauty regimes or quitting a job for entrepreneurship. And maybe that is the work.

The more I work on myself, the less the journey seems to be about acquiring things, or generating revenue, identifying other people’s faults or even portraying an image of having it all together. The more I grow comfortable in my own skin the more I am learning that being uncomfortable and unsure is par for the course. The more I know about me; the less I realize I know.

Which brings me back to trying to find my space in the world. I am in a moment in life where I am in search of community. I am looking for my peers who share similar interests and don’t mind having deep authentic conversations because being vulnerable is how relationships grow. What I am finding in all of my attempts, are people who are good at saying the buzzwords; but when you listen closely that’s really all they’re saying. Repeated talking points from social media without much thought or even original perspective doesn’t make for much conversation, or even really getting to know someone.

So how do we learn to get to know ourselves and be authentic in space if the world around us seems unavailable and unwilling to truly engage and participate? When I am working with clients who are feeling stuck, I often ask them to spend some time in stillness. Square Breathing is a tool you can  use to create space and stillness. 

If this is something you would like to work on, schedule a free 30-minute Strategy Session to create a plan to get unstuck.

By Courtney Sutton

There’s something about a plant that is giving me new energy…dare I say, triggering joy.

Growing up we always had plants in the house. In fact, when I think back on it, every significant house of my childhood (grandmas, aunts, close family friends,etc) had plants in them. I honestly paid them no attention at the time nor did I consider what the plants being in those spaces could signify for me. As an adult, I am keenly aware of the nostalgia I associate with plants being in the house. 

I became a plant mom before I became a real mom. I actually got my first plant after moving solo to a new state and city and starting a new job. That move being the first time I felt like my apartment needed to feel like a home for me. When I got a plant, it did something I can not explain that just enhanced the energy and peace I felt in my space. I won’t say that I paid it a significant amount of attention or even did ample research on what to do with the plant, it was just my happy little science project at home. When I moved to another new city and state, the plant moved with me. The move was a little bit of a challenge for the plant and me (I was pregnant), but I was able to water it back to health. The plant and I continued our relationship throughout my pregnancy. I actually kept it up and did very well up to the point that my child was born and my life unexpectedly did a warp speed transition. My life change took a toll on me and my plant.

Now a little over 4 years later, I am rediscovering what and who I am, what I want, what things are for this version of me. After some time reflecting and trying on different things, I realized, having to care for my plants, in the most inexplicable way, is just my thing. The presence of that one little plant I had in those big moments of transition, grounded me, and became an intricate part of my wellness. I realized that I’d lost that part of my wellness in adding the responsibilities of motherhood into my life and I missed it. So I started buying new plants. What started as one quickly became a small collection that now adds greenery to just about every room in my house. Caring for these plants has become the life lesson I didn’t expect. Life is consistent in throwing unexpected plot twists. Maintaining my plants continues to demonstrate my ability to to pivot and redefine things when I need to for the health of my plants. And let me be transparent in saying, that is a consistent struggle, that sometimes feels burdensome, but I know that adjustments are needed for my plants to thrive. Much like my plant collection needs different space, and watering patterns at different times of the year, I realize that me and my needs tend to have a similar cycle. Some weeks or months, I need time to slowly blossom into a new way of being, while other times, I am in full bloom and ready to take on the world. Over the course of this relationship with my plants, I’ve noticed that holding the space for my plants to thrive, also helps me to honor the space I need for my own growth. Just the task of having to water the plants forces me to slow down, and be in the moment- which I often need, but also don’t always allow time for. 

Beyond just caring for the plants; the plants themselves give me an appreciation for the beauty and simplicity of nature. Just seeing plants in a space, for me, serves as a reminder of the simplicity of what it truly means to be alive. That to be alive and growing, does not require a lot of fancy gadgets or accolades-but that  life can be just as good and fulfilling with just some water, fresh air, and good company. Plants remind me  that I can be energized and renewed by the little things- the memories of my childhood, the innocence of my child discovering the world. What plants provide is a reminder to remain grounded in what really matters to me.  

These plants are my bridge between who and what I have been and who and what I am becoming. Plant care, albeit new to my adult life, feels like a testament to my own evolution. My plants remind me that no matter how the world around me changes, I, like my plants, don’t need much to adapt and continue to thrive. 

I invite you to reflect on what are some things that help you adapt? What re-energizes you when you need it? What do you need to feel alive and well?  Check out The Voice of Self Care for some re-energizing tips.

By Courtney Sutton

No seriously, can you answer the question about what you like? And how do you know you like what you like? 

I’m currently in the midst of a day where I feel….even. I suppose one could even describe this feeling as balanced or joy. For me, joy is simplistic, on the emotional spectrum, it's not too far right or left—it's not an overt feeling of extreme happiness or extreme upset; but rather the midpoint between the two; the balance of emotion. If I had to describe it, I would imagine this being the way it feels for a balloon to be released and to float aimlessly through the sky; a peaceful joy...Simply being.

I think days like this are the best time to notice the events or combination of moments that lead to this feeling. As I write this blog I am thinking of all the things that contributed to me feeling at ease today. So what were/are the things that I liked? I like having days that are slow paced and not packed with appointments and activity. I like mid-day dance/giggle breaks with my son. I like listening to podcasts on a morning walk. I like conversations that challenge my thinking and allow me to reflect on my understanding of something. I like to sing along to my favorite songs on a drive. I like to laugh. I like making space to rest when I’m feeling tired. I like to try new things. 

As I reflect on this moment, what I notice is on the days when I’m emotionally imbalanced; I tend to lose sight of the things I like. On those days, I can absolutely tell you what I don’t like (even if the emotional imbalance is positive); but I can’t recite the things that I like.

As I continue on my journey of triggering joy, what I’m learning is, the ability to trigger joy is about being able to return to a feeling of balance. The things I like, the moments that trigger joy, are what I need to be able to reset to my emotional baseline. For me that might look like something as simple as finding something to laugh at, or putting in my headphones and listening to an audiobook or music. The benefit to all of this for me is, feeling joy helps me to respond and react to life in the way that feels the most authentic to me. It also helps me when I am feeling over stimulated; I can pick from the things I like to help me reset. 

So I’ll leave you here to reflect on what you like. How does finding your joy triggers help you? Leave your responses in the comments and let’s start to share our joy triggers out loud; perhaps your joy trigger can be a catalyst for someone else’s joy! Also, check out the Values Exercise to help you clarify what is most important to you.

By Adrienne Lynch

As a wife, mom, former educator, and dare I say middle aged women. I have finally taken a step back from being all things to everyone and decided I wanted to do something for myself.  But then - I was stuck. I mean the idea sounded great in my head…but what does “something for me mean”???? Self care? Like getting my nails done, going to the spa, or joining a Pilates class? I quickly decided that was NOT for me. So, I figured I'd try out this thing called a hobby. Again, cue the mental gymnastics: What exactly qualifies as a hobby? Do I have enough free time between volleyball practices and grocery runs to even contemplate one? Should I just invest my time and money in a backyard trampoline for instant fun? In my typical fashion of making life decisions, I consulted my trusty friend Google. Lo and behold, the list of hobby suggestions left me more puzzled than my kids trying to understand why I can't fix the Wi-Fi.

 Which led me down a path of reflection. What is a hobby? It’s something people enjoy doing. Something they do just for the love of it. What do I love most of all? Laying in my bed, eating delicious foods, and watching reality TV.  If I’m able to do all of those things simultaneously that’s a trifecta in my book!! So why are those not hobbies???? Now that I see these words on a page I can recognize that while this amazing trifecta feels great in the moment it is a temporary fix.  What I’m seeking is something to balance out the chaos that is part of  life.

So back to my Google laundry list I went. Do people really climb rocks for fun? That sounds like a workout I'd rather avoid. I struggle enough climbing out of bed some days! As I scrolled through the list, I saw options like painting, cooking (not my cup of tea!), scrapbooking, playing an instrument. It was then that I started to wonder: am I missing out because I don't have a passion for rock climbing, cooking, painting, or playing an instrument? None of these activities seem to match up with what truly brings me joy. It’s a question that continues to linger challenging me to redefine what brings fulfillment and happiness in my own unique way. It’s very clear to me now that hobbies are deeply personal choices, driven by individual passions rather than external suggestions.

One day while talking  to my sister about my quest for a hobby- it came to me!  A few months back I stumbled onto an Instagram video showcasing miniature stuff. Mini foods, mini office set ups, mini everything. Intrigued, I found myself watching more and more of these miniature Instagram reels. Suddenly, it clicked—building and decorating a dollhouse could be my hobby! I really enjoy those miniature reels and this is a hobby that would get me out of my bed and is probably much kinder to my waist.  And bonus I can still binge watch all the Bravo shows while I do it!!! So, armed with my newfound hobby excitement, I headed to Amazon and added a dollhouse to my cart.  Who knows where this journey will lead, but I think I found a hobby!

Since I’ve spent some time researching hobbies I thought I’d share some of the things I did to find a hobby.

• Personal Reflection and Exploration: Discovering a hobby is a journey of hope and self-discovery. Hope hinges on the anticipation of positive outcomes in various aspects of life. This Nurturing Hope Workbook was instrumental in guiding my personal reflection and may help you uncover your next passion too.

• Online Hobby Directories and Websites: Websites like HobbyHelp, HobbyLark, and Hobbyist Forums provide lists and descriptions of various hobbies. They often include reviews, beginner guides, and community forums where enthusiasts share experiences.

• Social Media Platforms: Platforms such as Instagram, Pinterest, and YouTube offer a wealth of hobby-related content. 

• Meetup Groups: Meetup.com is a platform where people organize gatherings based on shared interests, including hobbies. Join local groups or start one yourself to meet others who enjoy the same activities.

• Books and Magazines: Look for books and magazines dedicated to hobbies. They can provide inspiration, guidance, and in-depth information about different activities.

• Online Courses and Workshops: Platforms like MasterClass, Udemy, Coursera, and Skillshare offer online courses on various hobbies, from photography and cooking to gardening and coding.

• Outdoor and Adventure Clubs: If you're interested in outdoor activities like hiking, cycling, or birdwatching, consider joining local clubs or associations that organize group outings.

What helps you find space and reconnect with joy when life throws you off balance? Drop us a comment below.

by Adrienne Lynch

My kids play a game called Among Us.  The object of the game is for multiple different colored characters to move about trying to discover which of the characters is the imposter. Starting a new job is very similar to that.  In my new position I’m suffering hard from imposter syndrome. The idea that one day one of my colleagues will discover that I’m the imposter.  After spending a decade in the world of education I finally decided to make the leap from the career field I thought would be my forever.  When I entered education I entered as a lifer.  I just knew I was destined to do this forever, but burn out had other plans.  10 years later I found myself in a spot where I knew I could no longer bring the best of myself to my career, so at the end of the school year I packed it all up knowing I wouldn’t return again.  I began a new career where I knew I would be happy and would be able to highlight my skills again but I wasn’t ready for the steep, unforgiving learning curve.  To wake up everyday not knowing what you’re doing, sitting in meetings that sound like a foreign language and not knowing your place in it all is SCARY! The best course of action for me was to intake as much knowledge as I could and then from there-fake it til I make it.  I would spend my days trying to pick up on things/terms being used hoping that no one noticed I’m the newbie who has absolutely no idea what I’m doing or even what is going on.  I’m the imposter!  For me it’s hard being the “imposter” because I start to feel inadequate and vulnerable.  I don’t like it. So I go extra hard trying to consume any and all the knowledge that I can, hoping it will propel me from this space of  imposter to a space of belonging.  Then I think back on my kids game and how every round the character who is the imposter changes.  Which leads me to wonder could it be that we are all an Among Us character’s milling about in our lives each taking a turn at one point or another being the imposter.  

In my quest to overcome some of the feelings of imposter syndrome I have come up with some strategies that I’ve found helpful:

• Freedom Cycle: I am often my worst critic.  If everyone around says whatever I did was absolutely perfect I can find at least 45,000 things wrong with it.  The Freedom Cycle helps me recognize what is happening and learn to be ok with it.

• Awareness, Alignment, Action:  It can be difficult to identify the moment an imposter voice begins to get loud. To regulate the imposter voice, it is helpful to learn the signs that activate imposter syndrome. When imposter syndrome is activated, I choose to find time to stop and reflect on the experience so I become aware of the signals that will help me get ahead of the imposter voice before it takes over.

• Celebrate small wins:  We often focus on big wins and forget about the little things, but a win is a win!  Celebrate them all!

• Challenge limiting beliefs with evidence:  Our mind is such a powerful thing and it can make us hold strong to beliefs that may not necessarily be true.  We have to fight against those beliefs using real life evidence.  For example, I thought for the longest time I thought no one carried about my opinion or what I had to say.  Now I recognize when people ask me for my opinion and take my advice.  The evidence has helped me challenge my limiting beliefs. 

• Ask for help: We can all use a shoulder to lean on, or someone to support us.  Don’t be afraid to reach out and seek support when you need it.

• Journal: Write it out!  I LOVE writing and sometimes just getting those imposter feelings out on paper is all I need to release it!

• Grace:  Giving myself grace is probably the hardest thing for me to do but is so necessary.  I have to give myself the space to make mistakes and still know it’s going to be ok. 

Leave a comment below and tell us some of the strategies you use to cope with imposter syndrome? Let’s help each other out!