call HART crazy .. but

A joke …

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack’s minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

“I realize it’s terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I’m recently widowed,” she explained. “I’m afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.”

“Don’t worry,” Jack said. “We’ll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we’ll be gone at first light.” The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, “Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago ?”

“Yes, I do.” said Bob

“Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?”

“Well, um, yes !,” Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, “I have to admit that I did.”

“And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?”

Bob’s face turned beet red and he said, “Yeah, look, I’m sorry, buddy. I’m afraid I did.” “Why do you ask?”

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“She just died and left me everything..”

(And you thought the ending would be different, didn’t you?… you know you smiled…now keep that smile for the rest of the day!

Source: My eMail INBOX

call HART crazy .. but

SUMMER CLASSES AT THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM. HERE ARE THE DESCRIPTIONS FOR EACH OF THE 14 SUMMER CLASSES BEING OFFERED TO BOTH MEN AND WOMEN.

Summer Classes For Women

Class 1

* Up in Winter, Down in Summer — How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..

Class 2

* Which Takes More Energy – Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours? — Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3

* Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping? — Group Debate. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4

* Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase — Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5

* Curling Irons – Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet? — Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6

* How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program — Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7

* Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos? — Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8

* Health Watch – They Make Medicine for PMS – USE IT! — Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9

* I Was Wrong and He Was Right! — Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10

* How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim. — Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.

Class 11

* Learning to Live – How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield. – Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12

* How to Shop by Yourself. — Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13

* How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy – Remembering To Take a List To The Store, Avoiding Separate Trips for Each Item Needed. — Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14

* The Stove/Oven – What It Is and How It Is Used. — Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Summer Classes For Men

Class 1

* How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays — Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2

* The Toilet Paper Roll — Does It Change Itself? — Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00for 2 hours.

Class 3

* Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? — Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4

* Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. — Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5

* After Dinner Dishes — Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? — Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6

* Loss Of Identity — Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. — Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7

* Learning How To Find Things — Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. – Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8

* Health Watch – Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. — Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9

* Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost — Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10

* Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? — Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.

Class 11

* Learning to Live — Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. —
Online Classes and role-playing. Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12

* How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion — Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13

* How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy — Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You’re Going To Be Late. — Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14

* The Stove/Oven – What It Is and How It Is Used. — Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

SOURCE: my INBox // FWD to me..

call HART crazy .. but

I am a HUUUUUGE Tenacious D / Jack Black / Kyle fan … and have been for a very long time. I’ve always like their song “Wonder Boy” .. which, is probably one of their best musically accompanied song i.m.o. .. although they are all great!

So .. I can’t wait to see the movie YEAR ONE, and TROPIC THUNDER is coming to MovieChannel tonight and I will be watching!

So .. in the meantime – I was blip’n today trying to listen to a bunch of Tenacious D songs and noticed an entry of the Wonder Boy song – with lyrics – backwards!

I think this great that someone took the time to make this effort, and I don’t know .. it kind of sounds like the lyrics presented .. what do you think?

Wonder Boy – by Tenacious D – Backmasked

From the YouTube description

Recently I’ve been checking out some “backmasked” songs, songs that contain a message when reversed. I realized you can make any song sound “backmasked” if you listen closely for words – in other words, you hear what you want to hear. Check this backmask of Wonderboy by Tenacious D out, it’s quite interesting.

By the way, I made the video as well as the lyrics. Original song by Tenacious D.

Wonder Boy – by Tenacious D – Normal Pace

Tenacious D – Drive Thru – Just for fun (NSFW / swearing)

This is quite funny! Although, it’s not a song .. more like a skit.

call HART crazy .. but

Awkward! I wonder if these families actually sent out these pictures as their annual Christmas Greeting Card!??

SOURCE: My eMail iNbox

Update
It has just come to my attention from the help of a fellow ’stumbler’ that most (or all) of these photos may have originated on http://AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com … and it looks that way! Check out their site for lots more pictures like this and more!

call HART crazy .. but

Well .. as GILLETTE says in this commercial .. be adventurous and have some fun! .. I must say that I feel adventurous enough and my tree is already quite tall

FOUND AT: Booty Cache

Get shaving tips on how to best shave your groin. From Gillette.

call HART crazy .. but

The show is called .. “Goldmind” with Haim Goldenberg … and the show airs every Sunday .. CHECK IT OUT~! It’s fascinating to watch some of the ‘tricks’ and feats that he does!

George Stroumboulopoulos had him on his late night “CBC” show as a guest back in April, when the show was debuting .. and it a good introduction for you – if you are not familiar with Haim Goldenberg.

The Hour with George Stroumboulopoulos – Part 1

The Hour with George Stroumboulopoulos – Part 2

Watch 14 Consecutive Clips With Mentalist Haim Goldenberg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEoG582-bu8&feature=PlayList&p=7499D2AD4D5A0405&index=0#

Check Out The Goldmind YouTube Site For New Videos

http://www.youtube.com/user/Goldmindshow

call HART crazy .. but

It was just a few months ago in March 2009 that I finally received a new camera that I was proud to display pictures around my network of sites. It was only last weekend, that I discovered that my camera can not only record video .. but it can record sound too! Here’s a sampling at the 10km Air Force Run event May 31, 2009 taken where my wife participated. More videos can be seen on HART’s YouTube Account

Cool, eh? Anyway .. this all got me thinking ….

Examples Of Things That I Do NOT See Out Of My Window

Somedays .. I look out of my window and day dream .. rather than multi-tasking .. and imagine I see some exotic places and scenery out of my back window!

SOURCE: Flickr (click on image for links)

Examples Of Things That I DO See Out Of My Window

Here are a few pictures of what I see when I look out of the back patio door in our condo. We have a backyard, but it’s just a patio for the BBQ and place for the dogs to do their business. We thought summer was on its way this spring but we did receive a flash snowstorm Mid-April 2009 and looked like below!

SOURCE: From HART’s Camera!

What Do You See Out Of YOUR Window?

Regardless of whether you see exotic images or plain jane scenery out of your back door or window .. Check out Anthony McCune’s “What I See Out My Window” site and submit a picture of what YOU See out YOUR back window! You can even submit a few paragraphs and give a great and personal description about your picture.

In the meantime .. here are some examples from the site sent in from various readers.

SOURCE: Click any image to see detailed postings

call HART crazy .. but

Okay .. So, I received these FWD’ed to me … from a person who it was probably Mass-FWD’ed .. from a person who probably found it on http://feels.ru (which is a cool russian site) ..who probably got it from http://TheHornyRabbit.com (some greeting card site or script?) .. which carries eCards from http://NobleWorksCards.com .. or something .. and .. I dunno //

.. these are still “Funny Cartoons” ~ Enjoy!

SOURCE: FWD’ed to me via eMail ..

call HART crazy .. but

…and we all know “who” gave it to him…

call HART crazy .. but

Awesome Ending!

YouTube Description

Former swordplay trainer to the stars and Star Wars fanatic Jeremy Flynn recently opened “Jedi Gym”, a fitness center in Torrance, CA where members channel characters from the Star Wars film series to work out, meditate, and improve their lives.
“Star Wars is all about the Hero’s Journey, and so is working out,” says Flynn, ” you leave home, battle your demons, and hopefully return home stronger.”

Instead, Flynn and his students learn, first hand, about how powerful the Dark Side can be…

Found at: Star Wars Humor Page