One Sentence: Maybe a little too weird.

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: 11-May-2012

Nudity: None

I know this movie just looks terrible.  The previews force this weird feeling of a movie that is a horrible comedy.  I think this movie would be hard to sell and they had to go with comedy.  I guess you would call it a comedy because it isn’t a horror movie, and it isn’t a drama, but comedy is a loose term.  There are some funny parts, but this movie is more weird than anything else.  As with Tim Burton you might expect that, and also with Tim Burton you might get a hit or you might get a miss.  This one is leaning toward a miss.

Johnny Depp is amazing, his timing, movements, and character are wonderful.  He is weird, fun, quirky and wonderfully out of his element.  However there was a story and other characters to this movie, and that is where it kind of got a little all over the place.   If this was a bunch of sketches of Johnny Depps character doing things in the modern world I think it would of been a much better movie.  Instead we have this weird story spanning 200 years, and it just feels a little bit out of sync.  The conflict seems weird, the villain seems confused, and the whole rest of the cast feels like they didn’t need to be there except to fill time and add quirkyness.  I had fun with it, but I didn’t think it was a very well done movie.

The previews are pretty accurate in the feeling of the movie, it is confused, and doesn’t know what it wants to be, and this is how would will feel going to see it.  So I think you can skip it in the theater.  This seems like fans of Burton, or Depp can rent this one and it would be a sort of fun movie for a weekend afternoon.  Just don’t spend a lot of money on it.

One Sentence:  You will be pleased.

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: 04-May-2012

Nudity: None

I was really doubtful about The Avengers, it was going to be too many story lines, too many stars, too much to fit into one movie.  I just had my doubts, I thought it would be good but not amazing.   I was wrong, it was amazing.  It did all the things I thought it could not do.  The things I think everyone was hoping for.  They pulled it off.  They really made this movie a good balance of geeky fanboy fun and a very solid movie that will be good enough for everyone, not just the nerds.

The cast all worked very well together, and it worked just like how I hoped it would.  Comedy, banter, science, Hulk Smash, awesome fight scenes, and Scarlett Johansson kicking ass.  She really trained hard for this and it really showed.  He fight scenes stood out to me as especially good.  It was all put together in a intertwining story that wasn’t confusing, hard to follow or made you feel like anything was left out.  I think if there was something wrong it was that the antognist and the main conflict could have been anything, and that was secondary to the first story of The Avengers and them working together.  Which is probably how it should of been anyway.  I just felt like the enemy was a little lacking, but I didn’t care that much because the rest of the movie was so great.   It was easily my second favorite movie from all of The Avengers cast movies, behind Iron Man 1.

So I think it is pretty obvious that I am recommending this movie for this weekend.  You were going to go see it anyway.  Now there is the matter of 3-D.  I didn’t notice it was in 3-D.  But they do have these custom 3-D glasses for the movie so you can get your favorite Avenger glasses, like Iron Man or Hulk.  I do not think the 3-D or the glasses are worth the extra money so skip the 3-D save the money for something else.  But go see it this weekend.

One Sentence: Not as good as Forgetting Sarah Marshall but pretty damn close.

Rated: R

Release Date: 26-Apr-2012

Nudity: Man Butt

I feel like there hasn’t been a movie in ages that I was excited about writing a review for.  I feel like I haven’t even seen any new movies.  So I am glad this is my first one in a while.  Bringing Jason Segel back to write another rated R comedy along with Nicholas Stoller seems like a good ideal all around.  Forgetting Sarah Marshall was my favorite movie of that year when it came out and I just think that Jason has a knack for this type of writing, a good blend on romance, silly, adult humor that is going to connect with the audience in a very good way.  The Five-Year Engagement does just that.  Bringing together lovely little adult bits, with a great cast and some really sweet and trying moments about love and growth.

This movie really nails everything it needs to.  You feel happy and warm when the couple does, you feel for them when things are a little harder.  It all is put together very well, and there is an amazing cast of supporters that help carry this movie to one of the best romantic comedies I have seen since Sarah Marshall.  Emily Blunt and Jason Segel are great, and work well together, but the supporting cast is mind blowingly great.  They feel like an extended family in the movie and it makes you feel that way as well, you want to be part of their lives and want to know what is going to happen next.  It all makes for a very funny, sweet movie that is a perfect date movie.

I would say run to the theater to see this movie this weekend if you are looking for a date movie, there has been a drought of them lately and this is a good balance for the women and men out there.  This is an own on DVD type movie after you fall in love with it at the theater so I think you don’t want to wait to check this out.  There is nothing that would make you need to see this in the theater, but I think the experience will be best on the big screen.

One Sentence: There is no need to go to your high school reunion.

Rated: R

Release Date: 06-Apr-2012

Nudity: 1 pair of boobs.

So it’s 13 years later, I am now 34, I was 21, am I the target for this movie?  Am I the guy who is thinking boy, I sure want to know what happened with the people from American Pie.  I don’t care what happened to them.  So I can’t figure out who this movie is for.  I can’t think of anyone who really wanted this movie to happen.  I couldn’t even get someone to go with me to the free movie.  Everyone said the same thing, I don’t care about that movie.

It was just as bad as you think it is.  Nothing cool happens, it is all just a bunch of grown up people without special lives, getting back together to have a mediocre party, while acting like the people they dated in high school were true loves.  It was like a bad adult prom movie.  With jokes that were set up to be knocked down.  It wasn’t witty, funny, or really anything.  It was as awkward as you running into someone you didn’t want to run into 13 years later and they tell you they have fallen on hard times as the broken glass factory they worked at closed.  The men were idiots, the women would fly off the handle without considering their partners and their history, it was all just really badly done.

If I had to pick out something good, John Cho was awesome in his very small part.  He was the funniest part of the whole movie for me, and he was in it very little.

So I would skip this movie completely.  There is no reason I can find to see it, I don’t know anyone that was really asking for this movie to happen, and I just think it did not work.  It isn’t a renter, or streaming or anything.  Just stay away.

One Sentence: CG fest is full of CG.

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: 30-Mar-2012

Nudity: None

Right from the start they have made this movie better than the original.  They filmed this movie in 3-D instead of doing post production 3-D enhancement.  This makes a huge difference in the quality of the 3-D and the color of the movie while wearing your indoor sunglasses.  So I at least got some indication that they were going to try to make this CG fest a little bit better than the original which was awful.  I stress, a little better.

Wrath Of The Titans is exactly what you see in that poster, lava, flying horses, god weapons and crumbling columns.  There is not much more to it, and you really don’t need it either.  I think pretty soon I will get tired of the very good CG movie with the very thin story that shakes out to a long CG battle, but right now I am ok with it.  As long as they are not trying to trick me into making the movie good.  They didn’t with Wrath Of The Titans and I am ok with that.  It is adventure and action in a CG package with lava creatures and gods.  That’s it, and it does that well enough that I can at least get behind this movie just a little bit and say that it is watchable.  A lot more watchable than the first one, that is for sure.  It is like a stopping point in a longer story, just a fight, that was done well, I can chomp popcorn and not care about what they are saying because I care about what it looks like and ooh is it pretty.  They did say some things but I didn’t care about it, it didn’t matter, there were 3-D lava monsters.

So yes, Wrath Of The Titans is probably exactly what you thought it was going to be, and so I think you can make the guess yourself if you want pay to see that.  I would skip the 3-D though, as it isn’t even noticeable anymore.  I am not sure if they are making the depths of the 3-D less or I am just getting used to it more, but I never notice 3-D anymore.  So go in the afternoon save some money and don’t see it in 3-D and if you think you will like it you probably will.

One Sentence: I am going to go see this movie again and pay for it.

Rated: R

Release Date: 16-Mar-2012

Nudity: None

I think what the problem is.  It is that all the comedy is rated R, so the previews are very limited in what they can show.  So it is making for a movie that looks really really bad.  I was not looking forward to this movie at all, my girl friend skipped the screening completely.  I am glad I went, though because this movie is one of the funniest movies I have seen in a long time.  A great rated R buddy cop movie.

It has everything you want.  Some action, comedy, feeling, Ice Cube, drugs, good solid high school jokes, it just delivers everything.  Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum are perfect.  They both really fit in their parts and it just worked so well.  I thought Brie Larson was weird casting, but everyone else I thought was perfect.  Everyone was on pace with the comedy and action, it just keep delivering comedy, and action and story.  I just loved this movie, and I really want to go see it again.  Ellie Kemper is in it, in a small part, but she is just awesome.  A wonderful little addition that just added to this great movie.

Yes, this is a reboot of an semi-ok TV show from the 80′s but they do it so well.  I can not recommend this movie enough.  I am going again to see it this weekend and I think you should go see it too.  Full price, date night, buddy time at the movies, whatever just go see this movie, you will be glad you did.

One Sentence: It was like Phantom Menace and Stargate had an ugly baby and named it John Carter.

Rated: PG-13

Release Date: 09-Mar-2012

Nudity: None

I was hopeful.  It was a Disney 3-D movie that looked like they threw a lot of money at.  I am sure it is at least pretty good.  Fun, creating a new franchise I might care about a little.  Maybe it will be so popular that it will show up in the parks later as a ride or something.  Trips to Mars.  Fun things like that.  I was so hopeful, and so very very wrong.

Ugh, it was sooo long and soo boring.  This movie is almost 2 and half hours long.  There are so many conversations about these things they don’t explain very well.  This blue light thing, which I still don’t get why it was important.  Which doesn’t make sense, since all they do in the whole movie is talk about things.  Lets stop and have this conversation or that conversation.  The action is weak and not exciting.  The CG is mediocre, and I just don’t care about you John Carter, you are unlikeable, and I don’t like you.  The 3-D was very weak, it wasn’t bad and take away from the movie, I just didn’t notice it being used at all.  I could of done without the 3-D.  You really don’t need it.

It is with regret that I must say that John Carter is a dud.  I am having a hard time finding anything I liked about it.  You don’t need to pay to see it and you for sure do not need to pay for it in 3-D.  This is not Disney’s next great movie or franchise.  I would skip it completely.

We grabbed a seat on the patio, an Austin TX must have for any great restaurant, and started eating.  This is the best food I have ever had at an Alamo Drafthouse.  This place is highly recommended just to eat, but you can hop right over to a movie afterward.  It’s awesome.  So let’s check out what they have.

The Alambres – A Grilled skewer of NY Strip, bacon and poblano peppers on an avocado tomatillo hatch with cotija.  This thing was so good and I want to go back and order so many more.  One of my new favorite dishes in Austin right now.

Sonoran Hot Dog – Bacon Wrapped Hot Dog, flat grilled with green chili salsa, lettuce, white beans, pickled onions, tomato, jicama, cilantro mayo and cotija in a bolillo.  This is the best Hot Dog I have ever had in my life.  The bread was wonderfully soft, the hot dog and bacon with all the other condiments was perfectly balanced.  It was amazing.

Torta Ahogada – Carnitas, pickled onions, refried white beans, and cotija on a toasted bolillo drowned in arbol sauce topped with fresh oregano and served with chips.  This was another amazing dish, the heat from the arbol didn’t get you right away. It snuck up on you slowly with a wonderful heat and another great balance of flavors.

There was a lot more to eat and drink.  Lots of tequila inspired cocktails that were delicious. The Paloma was my favorite, a blend of Tequila, grapefruit soda and  a pinch of salt.  Very tasty.

The 400 Rabbits is attached to an Alamo Drafthouse, which features seating with tables, making it comfortable to dine while watching a movie. We were also allowed to explore the theater after our meal.  All of pics of the new Alamo Drafthouse are in the Gallery.  I highly reccomend checking out this theater and the 400 Rabbits cocktail lounge as soon as possible.

One Sentence: Not the fun type of part movie.

Rated: R

Release Date: 02-Mar-2012

Nudity: Lots of boobs.

When I left the theater after watching Project X, I let out a sign of relief.  The stress was finally over.  I could let it go.  This party wasn’t a good time.  Maybe it is my nerdy, orderly personality, but I wasn’t thinking about the sex, or drugs, or alcohol.  I was thinking about the house, and the neighbors, and the destruction.  I was fearful of the kids, and as I write this sentence I realize I am fucking old, and this movie wasn’t made for me.

Project X is a Cloverfield style movie about the chaos that ensues when 3 high school kids throw a party.  It has almost no plot, is not shot very well, and is only humurous to the point of a slight smile.  It gets into some scary dark areas and made me feel uncomfortable, not like I was having a good time.  I didn’t like the kids, didn’t like the “romantic,” storyline, and just wanted it to be over.  I really didn’t have a fun time watching it.  I felt like it was perfect for the 18-25ers, but this one was just not for me.  It was the extreme reality version of Superbad with no one you cared about, and not nearly as funny.

I think most of you could skip this movie.  I don’t think there is much here for anyone.  It feels forced and that it is attempting to be cool, and on trend, and by doing so, feels too fake and overdone.  I personally wouldn’t even rent this one, but I think some of you might like it, so if you think it looks good, I would wait for it and get this one at home.  No need to pay full price.

One Sentence: A visual treat.

Rated: PG

Release Date: 02-Mar-2012

Nudity: None

Whoever was the person who gave this movie it’s look.  The color choices, the eyes on the characters, the faces, the city.  Taking Dr Seuss’ book and converting it into the 3-D movie I saw this weekend is a genius.  They understand what we like, like to see and has the ability to paint an amazing moving picture that is visually stunning.  I just loved the way this movie looked, I loved it so much that I might have missed out that the movie could be a little too wordy.  My gf said it was boring.  I just didn’t notice because every minute of the movie I was taking in every inch of the beauty on screen.

I wouldn’t say this animated movie was very funny.  Traditioanlly they are quite funny, or at least attempting to be funny.  This movie didn’t seem to go that route and that could be why I am hearing that others thought it was boring.  It stuck more to the book and the story.  Telling the tale about the trees and nature and beauty.  So while it might not follow the other movies that have come before doesn’t mean it wasn’t a good movie.  I thought it was great and I think it is a great movie for the family.  You just might need to change your idea of what you are going to see when you check this movie out this weekend.

I would take everyone this weekend to check out The Lorax in 3-D.  I thought it was a great movie for everyone.  I think it is well worth the price in 3-D and is one of the best visual experiences every created in 3-D.  I hope you like it as much as I did.