Hey, y’all! Welcome back to The Broke-Ass Bride!  We’ve got a Mommy of the bride here askin’ for our help.  I’ve perused some fairly hideous dresses that the wedding mongers deem “MOB worthy”. I know the Mommas can be a handful when it comes to the wedding planning, the expectations, and their vision of our weddings, but do we have to make them wear frumpy, granny clothes?  I think not!  Here’s what MOB Ce Ce has to say:

Tori,

My daughter turned me on to BAB some months ago and now, I’m hooked! So many great ideas to help create a dream wedding and keep the costs within the realm of reality!  But now, I’m hoping you can help me!

Have you SEEN the gawd awful dresses they put out for mothers of the bride?!! My daughter got the dress of her dreams on a shoestring  budget (many thanks!).  Can you help me find something that: covers the arms, elongates the torso and slims the hips.  Tea length in turquoise or pant suit would be nice and I like pockets.  I’m hoping you can help me find something with Kate Hepburn class and a modern edge.  I’ve been following you and hope you’re allowed to help MOB’s too! We really need it!

Thanks a heap,

Ce Ce

The trick with the MOB dress is to stop looking for dresses labeled as Mother of the Bride!  Just look for knee length turquoise or blue dresses. The other thing is that we want to make sure our moms are swathed appropriately.  There’s nothing more embarrassing than having your mom sashay about your reception in a get up that’s too form fitting, too short, too low cut, or just plain not age appropriate!

Can’t Afford It (more like: Don’t Want It)

Nordstrom $398.00

Get Over It

Alex & Ava Belted Drape Neck Jersey

Nordstrom $59.97

Presley Skye ColorBlock Dress

Nordstrom $54.97

Max & Cleo – Tina

Bloomingdales $118.00

Three Dots Draped Front

shopbop.com $107.80

Maja Two Dress

Shopbop.com $398.00

Don’t box yourself in!  The second you start looking for something as specific as a knee length, sleeved turquoise dress with pockets you set yourself up to fail.  If you can find a dress that has at least 2 of the qualities you are looking for, the rest can be improvised.  You can search for one shoulder, spaghetti strap, or halter style turquoise dresses with pockets and add a jacket, bolero, or wrap of some sort;  problem solved!  Just be more open.  Try on everything!  Even if you wouldn’t normally wear it or choose it, TRY IT ON!  You’ll be pleasantly surprised.  TRUST me, Momma, Ce Ce!

Family Tree!

Greetings BABs! By the time you read this on Sunday, I already will have walked down the aisle to the rousing tunes of the Pipes & Drums of the NYPD Emerald Society. I’ll be stuffed full of mini burgers and candy from our penny candy themed dessert buffet. I’ll have danced my first dance with my new husband, and I’ll be a married woman!

If there’s any theme for our wedding though, it’s definitely family. At the very core, a wedding is most certainly a celebration of two families coming together. For brides and grooms, it’s an opportunity meet everyone and try to find their spot in the wider family dynamic. Families often come with their set of rules of engagement, and their own language. It can take a while to figure out why the Fruit of the Loom jingle is so uproariously hilarious and what balookey means.

For us, our wedding has also served as an attainable goal for many of our family members. Our engagement period has been peppered with quite a few health scares. Various family members have used our wedding as a goal for rehab from broken hips, pacemaker surgeries and chemotherapies. To us, the health of our loved ones is absolutely the very best wedding gift that anyone could possibly give us and we are so excited to celebrate our wedding with some of the people that we never thought would make it to the wedding.

However, we know that after our wedding we are going to get thrown right back into the deep end as life gets back to normal. It’s always difficult to manage the emotional side of family illness, but it can be even more difficult as the newest adult member of a family. It’s a fine line between support, and giving everyone enough space and privacy.

The point was really driven home for us when my Great Aunt died just 2 weeks before the wedding. I hear that she was really disappointed that she wasn’t healthy enough to travel to the wedding, but it means a lot to us that she even wanted to try. I remember her as a bright and loving woman, with a neverending supply of Avon chapstick. When I was a kid, I thought she had the very bizarre name of Sirelen, when in fact people were saying Sara Ellen through a strong Central Pennsylvania accent.

It’s very hard for us to make peace with the realization that our future family may not get to experience some of the great traditions from our childhoods. I don’t know that our family will get to sit at the breakfast bar at my grandparents’ house and sip ginger ale during happy hour, while my grandmother zips around making dinner. However, I can say with certainty that my family will get to sip ginger ale and enjoying snacks at my parents’ house on a Penn State gameday.

And that pretty much sums up what marriage means to me and Mr. Officer….the opportunity to move forward in life together, and make our own family traditions. We can’t wait to see what the future holds for us, and we’re really excited to do it together!

Today we’re giving a little love to our fabulous partner, Clay Bouquet Shop! We’re a big fan of Clay Bouquet Shop‘s gorgeous, hand-crafted custom clay and brooch bouquets, as well their extensive collection of dazzling wedding accessories. Shop proprietor Jennifer Ferencz-Barato began her career in bridal accessories in the same way that many talented Etsy wedding vendors do – she designed something for her own wedding. “I didn’t consider opening a wedding business until my hair stylist, photographer, and wedding venue manager (as well as friends and family) strongly encouraged me to create wedding bouquets and accessories for other brides…at our own wedding!”

“I create alternative bouquets for brides who wish to carry something unique at their wedding and keep for a lifetime.” says Jennifer. “Brooch bouquets are perfect for the bride who loves sparkle and bling. For those who want flowers that last forever, I create realistic clay flower bouquets, which I create by hand, petal by petal.” Jennifer can customize any bouquet with sentimental tokens, crystals, pearls, and feathers – and she can make a bouquet that perfectly matches your wedding colors!

But of course, the Etsy goodness doesn’t begin and end with bouquets! Clay Bouquet Shop also has a lovely line of affordable wedding accessories like bridal sashes, headbands, and clay hair accessories – all priced from $35-$60! Jennifer loves custom orders – so if you’re getting married this year or in 2013, get in touch soon – her schedule is filling up fast.

Are you enticed by all the shiny baubles at Clay Bouquet Shop? Well this week, we’re giving away a $25 shop voucher, redeemable at either the Clay Bouquet Etsy shop or online store! To enter to win, just visit Clay Bouquet Shop, and leave a comment on this post telling us how you would spend your $25! We’ll be announcing the winner next Friday. Clay Bouquet Shop is also extending a full shipping refund offer on all orders over $75 to all BAB readers through June 30th!

Modern and classic come together!

Looking to add a fun handmade touch to your wedding? Shopping for sweet gifts for your maids? Look no further: Pulp Sushi has you covered with their wedding-ready, gift-ready jewelry!

Started in 2006 as a hobby, Pulp Sushi has bloomed into a business for creative powerhouse Marilyn Sushi. All of the jewelry sold at Pulp Sushi is handmade by Marilyn, and she caters to ladies who enjoy classic retro looks with a bold, modern twist. While she didn’t set out specifically to make bridal jewelry, she’s always excited to learn that Pulp Sushi has played a role in someone’s special day.

Plus, Pulp Sushi is so close to having 600 sales, they’re celebrating by sending a FREE vanilla sakura candle with every order that brings them closer to 600–no promo code required! What better time to treat yourself?

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There were checklists. Timelines and tastings. Deposits and balances have been paid.  Rehearsals will be run. And you are nervous, and you are eager, you are ready to party, and you are ready for your wedding to just get here, already.

It will. And when the big day comes, all I want you to worry about is enjoying it. Here’s five things you need to do that will help:

1. Take a deep breath and look around. Often. Everything is going to move pretty fast, and you might miss something. And I’m not talking about forgetting your bouquet at the hotel (Fear of God alert!). I’m talking about realizing how many people who love you are in the room, whatever room you happen to be in at the moment. And how fantastic everyone looks all dressed up. And all the little things that you planned, that you were so excited about,  have come together, right before your eyes. It happened! And, everything is so pretty, isn’t it?

You Will Thank Me Later.

2. Eat. No, I’m serious. This is going to be a long day. Don’t get married on an empty stomach. If you don’t usually eat breakfast (disclosure: neither do I), eat something small – a piece of fruit, a bagel, a muffin, whatever you can get down. And that goes for the rest of the day, too, because the food – the food that you handpicked – is only going to get yummier. Ask your caterer to bring you a plate of appetizers and some drinks, while you’re taking pictures. And, use one of my tricks for the reception: Go directly to your table, and sit there until you finish eating. Do not look left, do not look right, sit and eat. Get someone to usher you there like the Secret Service, if you have to. Trust me, guests will come to you to say hello, and in the meantime, you can finish the yummy meal you paid for. After you’re done, you can roam around the room as much as you want.  Sit. Eat.

3. Don’t be a hero. In other words, don’t suffer unnecessarily on your wedding day. If your high heels are uncomfortable, switch to flats, or kick your shoes off entirely. If you’re nervous, do a shot or have a beer before you go down the aisle. If you don’t want to sit at a sweetheart’s table and have everyone stare at you, how about a long wedding party table, or sitting at a guest table with your friends? Whatever you do, make sure that you’re comfortable doing it.

4. If you’re not having fun, no one else is going to have fun.  I read Katie’s post, and she’s not alone – most brides worry that guests aren’t going to have a good time! The clue is to have a good time, yourself, because where you lead, your guests will follow.  If the dance floor isn’t full enough, grab your new spouse and a couple of bridesmaids and boogie down.  If no one has hit the candy buffet, be the first to grab a scoop and a bag. Jump into the photo booth. Find a corner and hang out with the crew from your college dorm floor. Laugh and smile when you are given opportunities to do so. Tell people how glad you are that they were able to come.  You’re not just there for show, you’re there to have one of the best days of your life. What does that look like to you? Go for it.

The proper response to a glitch. You'll get that glass on the second try. (Courtesy of Micah and Megan Photography)

5. Let it go. There will be little things that might go wrong along the way, like…forgetting your bouquet at the hotel. Or not being able to smash the glass on the first try. Or your mother disappearing right before you’re about to walk down the aisle. Or you’ve run out of glasses, run out of plates, and it’s started to rain.  I know, Fear of God again. The point is, whatever happens, nine times out of ten, it’s not a disaster, and there is a solution. Focus on the fix, not the problem, and then make haste to the dance floor. Repeat steps 2 – 5, as needed. Fun and happiness are both waiting for you on your wedding day. Keep an eye out for them!

So, which one of these tips do you think is going to be the hardest for you? And is there something specific you’re worried about? Let me know in the comments, and we can work it out together.

See you at the end of the aisle,

One of my favorite summer activities is watching the huzface cook up a frittata, sipping on a mimosa and enjoying the summer sun and the company around me. There are few things that make me feel more glamorous. So I figured, if this makes me feel all “I can be amazing and light and airy and graceful and comfortable and free,” why not translate it into a wedding? The plus side: Brunches can be done on the super cheap, whether it’s actually at brunch time (which saves you money on the whole Saturday night deal) or it can be held at night and be a whimsical escape into morning loveliness.

Whether you decide to have your brunch-themed wedding at the standard brunch time or shift it into the evening for a quirky twist, there’s some amazing, brunch-tastic wedding inspiration out there.

I perused my own (and, let’s admit it, EVERYONE’S) Pinterest feed and came up with some pretty snazzy ideas.

Via Pinterest via Bleu Soiree

OBVIOUSLY, since it’s a brunch, you’ll need mimosas. No brunch is complete without.

But why not also do a bloody mary bar? Save on bartending costs (if your venue will allow) and buy bulk bottles of vodka, big old jugs of tomato juice and stock up on some Tabasco sauce. Arrange with platters of celery, pickled asparagus, limes, lemons and whatever else you deem necessary and let the guests mix up their red bevs to their own desire.

Since you have all that tomato juice, why not get some cheap beer (or a keg?) and do red beer? Heck, you also have some orange juice, so brass monkeys (equal part beer and OJ) could also be on the menu.

But what about noms? Well for brunch, quiche and fritattas are the smack-you-in-the-face answer. Some of my personal favesies recipes come from Epicurious.com. And they’re great because you can make them a couple of days ahead of time. Get your whole brigade to chip in and you could feed ALL THE PEOPLE!

Via Pinterest via The Family Kitchen

But, um, you’re going to have some DUDES at your shindig. Chances are you’ll need MEAT. So … how about some bacon cups? These would need to be made soon before consumption, but I can tell you from experience: Soooo goooood.

Once I started rolling with the idea of personal servings, the options became endless.

A muffin bar would give your guests a plethora of options. Put them in nifty cupcake wrappers, and advertise the options with sweet little signs.

Take any of your favorite foods and make it mini! Little French toast corners served in a cup with maple syrup. Same goes with pancakes and waffles. Stick a toothpick in ‘em and eat up!

Speaking of France, you could set up a crepe station. Have a stack of crepes and spread out an array of fillings — onion, bacon, berries, you name it. Make sure you have a canister of powdered sugar to top it all off!

Of course you never want to leave out sausage. It’s a breakfast and brunch staple. Enter pigs in a blanket: Easy, cheap, and always a favorite.

For the more health-conscious, fill small mason jars with fruit, yogurt and granola for an individual parfait. Decorate the jars and they can double as wedding favors.

Via Pinterest via Reluctant Entertainer

To get more ideas and inspiration, feel free to check out my Pinterest board.

What theme ideas do you have in mind? Would you be down for doing a brunch wedding?

xoxo

-Christen

Now that we are only one week away from the big day, it seems people have been asking me the same two questions almost everytime the subject of our wedding comes up. The first question is inevitably, “Are you getting excited?” Well, duh….I think we’d have kind of a problem if I were approaching my wedding day with a feeling of dread instead of excitement. Then the follow up question, is almost always “Are you getting nervous?” Usually I just tell people that, no, actually I’m cool as a cucumber, but in fact I am a little nervous. 

If you’re just starting to think about your dream wedding, you probably think I’ve lost my mind. I admit, I totally watched wedding shows back in the day and thought “what’s there to be nervous about?” However, if you think about the minor jitters that you get whenever you throw a little cocktail party for your friends, multiply that feeling by 100 and then throw in some public speaking, lots of crying relatives, and a major life change….you might start to understand how it could be a little nervewracking. For example, here’s a little glimpse of all the random things that have been circling my brain lately:

1. What if Mr. Officer has a Mr. Big style bout of last minute cold feet?

2. What if I’m making a weird face in all the pictures? What if I have a double chin in all the pictures?

*Please don’t let me look like this in all of the pictures*

3. What if I’m so worried about worrying that I forget to enjoy the day?

4. What if I can’t get used to my new last name, and keep writing the old one by accident?

5. What if people have a terrible time at the reception, but are too polite to tell me that it sucks?

6. What if our first dance is lame, and we end up looking like two sixth graders at a middle school dance?

7. What if I start crying during the ceremony because I see other people crying and then I can’t stop?

8. What happens if I can’t walk like a normal person in the heavy wedding dress and I trip going down the aisle?

9. What if Mr. Officer and I end up getting a divorce after 25 years of marriage? Will I have to use some sort of fifty+ dating website, or will we have moved on by then to futuristic fifty+ dating holograms?

10. What if I can’t sleep the night before the wedding and I spend the entire day in an exhausted haze?

So there you go, that’s just a little peek at how my mind works. Luckily for me, Mr. Officer immediately got to work on talking me down off the ledge. For the record he is not experiencing any cold feet, and he doesn’t care if our guests have a terrible time, because it’s our wedding and it’s going to be awesome. Oh and also, he told me that if it seems like I’m making a weird face, he’ll make an even weirder face so that people won’t notice my weird face. Ladies and gentlemen, that’s love! You know, sometimes there’s something to be said for having a partner that can tell you when your being unreasonable. So now that I’m back to being me (a.k.a. a relaxed, non-stressball), so here’s my list of things that I am most excited about leading up to the big day:

1. Seeing all of our friends and relatives, all in one place at the same time. Our parents haven’t had a chance to meet yet, so we’re really excited for everyone to meet each other.

2. Wearing my awesome dress, because dude, it’s pretty amazing!

3. The fact that my dress has already been taken in twice (thank you basement elliptical machine and Netflix).

4. Spending the week before the wedding at my parents’ house in Pennsylvania. Side note: one of the best, and most unexpected, side effects of getting married is that you end up spending a lot more time talking to and visiting with friends and family during wedding planning. Maybe I’m just a hermit, but I’m so thankful for all the time that I’ve been “forced” to spend with my parents, soon to be in-laws, and bridesmaids during our engagement.

5. Our awesome band.

6. Burger sliders during the cocktail reception.

7. Raiding the candy buffet after I’ve worked up a fierce appetite on the dance floor.

8. The strawberry-basil-vodka lemonade that I’ll inevitably spill on myself at some point. Are you noticing a food theme here?

9. Making fun of the outdated animatronics on the Carousel of Progress during our honeymoon.

10. Spending the rest of my life with my own, personal Prince Charming!

This week, I took it upon myself to see how many BABs there are out there who are brave enough to rock a short white frock for their big day. In my CAI/GOI research I’ve run across some totally adorable, beautiful, sexy and sassy short dresses that would be awesome for a reception dress or as “The Dress” if you have the cajones!  So, do you have the guts to rock a Little White Dress for your wedding day?

Can’t Afford It

Monique Lhuillier

$2,000.00 – $3,000.00

Get Over It

Heloise Dress

J.Crew $425.00

Embroidered Lace Sheath

Cache $198.00

BCBGMaxAzaria- Alice mixed lace Sheath Dress

Bloomingdale’s $248.00

Adrianna Papell

Nordstrom $178.00

JS Collection Petal

Nordstrom $131.90

Rebecca Taylor Sequin Bodice Strapless

Nordstrom $159.90

A.B.S. by Allen Schwartz

BlueFly.com $245.oo

Sue Wong

BlueFly.com $263.00

Diane von Furstenberg Zarita Dress

Shopbop.com $325.00

Halston Heritage One Shoulder Tiered Dress

Shopbop.com $425.00

So, BABs, how brave are you?  Would any of you rock a short dress to say your I Dos?  Would any of these make an appearance at your reception or another wedding related function?  Let me know what you think!

Two pieces of lavender. Simple, and beautiful.

Most of my brides come at the whole wedding flowers thing in one of two ways:  They know exactly what they want, or they have no clue. They’re either focused on one particular tree or overwhelmed by the forest. And yes, I made a little botanical metaphor there.

The funny thing is, both end of up changing their minds.  Certainty slides into flexibility, while cluelessnes gives way to very firm choices. And it’s the same process – finding out what they don’t want, which leads to deciding what they absolutely do want.  Do yourself a favor right now, and #1 – Accept that there is a process. #2 – Don’t be afraid of it!

Start before you even meet with a florist and pull all the basic numbers. How many guests are you having? Divide that by 10 (or 8 or 12 depending on the size of your tables), and that’s how many centerpieces you’re going to have.  You need a bouquet, your bridesmaids need bouquets,  and all the groomsmen need boutonnieres. Do you want your parents to have bouts or corsages, too? How many of them are there? How about the flower girl or ring bearer? These are the same questions any florist is going to ask you, but writing it down beforehand is going to make you feel a little bit more in control, and it’ll bring up  questions that you haven’t thought of, like, what size tables your venue has. Smaller tables = more tables = more centerpieces. But then again, smaller tables can mean smaller centerpieces, too. Something to ask the florist about if your budget is a consideration. And if it is, write down whatever 5% of your budget is. That’s what you want to try and stick to flowers-wise.

Another idea...

If you know what you want right now, collect pictures to bring to your floral consultation. Print them out, bookmark them on your smartphone/tablet/computer, but bring the visuals. If you’re not sure what you want, then ask yourself this:  what don’t you want? Do you hate roses, do you hate peonies, does the thought of a cascading bouquet give you hives? What’s your color scheme, or what is it definitely not going to be? Nine times out of ten, going through this exercise is going to give you a little more clarity.

And, now, it’s on to the florist.

The great thing about florists is that they actually know what they’re talking about! If you say you want white flowers, they can point you in the direction of ranunculus, dahlias, tulips, and half a dozen other blooms that you never even thought of. A lot of times, they have examples of each of these flowers in their shop. Ask as many questions as you can, and definitely ask all the questions that you have. Don’t worry about what isn’t possible, just find out what is.

Get a proposal or estimate, if you can. A good rule of thumb is to stick to the basics. Personal flowers and reception flowers. The florist is probably going to ask if you need any arrangements for your ceremony, or for the place card or gift table. A small vase for the bar? Remember, you can always add these later, if you want. But, don’t get sucked into any of it now!

And most of all, enjoy it. Enjoy all the pretty, embrace all the options you have, because there are a lot of them. There is no way you won’t find what you need to have the beautiful wedding that you want.

So, did your wedding flower vision change after you got started? Or, what finally pushed you to realize what you really wanted? Or, are you still stuck and could use some help? This is the place to share – let us know in the comments below!

See you at the end of the aisle,

All the best web advice in handy paperback form!

You’re a team now, so why does it seem like you’re doing all of the wedding planning while your manly counterpart plans out his game-watching schedule for the week? One way to get him engaged in wedding planning is with a copy of Be the Man: The Man Registry Guide for Grooms.

Armed with a copy of Be the Man: The Man Registry Guide for Grooms, grooms will stop feeling lost  and overwhelmed by seemingly inscrutable wedding etiquette and traditions, and will be able to step up to the plate, be part of the process, and own the day: after all, it’s a hugely important day in his life, too!

This week, one lucky BAB will win a copy of Be the Man: The Man Registry Guide For Grooms!

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