I hope you’re excited, because we’ve got a special treat for you this episode. jPar and I were so absolutely unimpressed by this movie, it was so completely unforgettable, that we could barely bring ourselves to talk about it at all. I’m not even joking. Maybe 15 minutes of this podcast is actually devoted to the movie.

This episode we watched Knowing, “featuring” Nicolas Cage and the end of the world. If any of you out there are actually deluded enough to believe that Nicolas Cage is talented, then you probably shouldn’t listen to this podcast. Actually, I take that back. You should listen so that perhaps your eyes will be opened.

Anyway, I apologize in advance for the rough nature of this particular episode. I promise that we’ll do much better next time, when the movie is at least entertaining in its horrendous badness. Despite how little time is devoted to the movie, it still turned out to be rather long. So, if you’d prefer to jump directly past the shitty movie talk and get to the really entertaining parts, listen to the intro and then skip to about the 20-25 minute mark and listen from there.

Anyway, you can subscribe via iTunes below or download it manually here.

To listen in your browser, click play below.

Lastly, to subscribe via RSS feed or download in MP3 format, visit this link.

And you, and you, and yes… even you.

Also, I wanted to give this moment give a shout out to Aaron Stimpson for being awesome and creating the intro for tonight’s episode. He’s awesome, and though I’ve never met him before, he gets my eternal thanks.

Here it is! The long-awaited return of Two Assholes Watch a Movie! Today we’re going to take you on a journey to the fantastic world of Sharks in Venice. I am not even joking. This movie stars none other than Stephen Baldwin, and uses every last ounce of public domain shark footage they could find.

This time, we’re trying something a little different. I’ve created an enhanced podcast in the AAC format, however, I can’t seem to make it work with iTunes and you can subscribe via iTunes below or download it manually here.

To listen in your browser, click play below.

Lastly, to subscribe via RSS feed or download in MP3 format, visit this link.

EDIT: Attempting to get the Enhanced version of the podcast working with WordPress was one of the most painfully frustrating things I’ve ever done. I’m probably never going to bother with it again unless someone can show me an easier way. I’m going to go punch myself repeatedly in my Baldwin, now. That being said, I will do my best to get the pictures that are on the enhanced podcast uploaded for you to see soon.

EDITEDIT: I’ve figured out how to put .m4a files in properly. For those of you watching this unbearable train wreck as I update and re-update to make AAC files embeddable and iTunes-ified, I do apologize. I believe I’ve got it all ironed out, now.

But that’s beside the point. Anyway, go check them out and be sure to spread the word to all of your friends about our podcast. If you’re super-awesome at recommending people, you may even get a shout out or a guest spot on a future episode. Unless you’re lame. In which case, you’ll probably end up with a permanent spot like us.

Cause… we’re lame… see?

Welcome to the inaugural episode of “Two Assholes Watch a Movie”! The other day, jPar and I watched Quantum of Solace, which sparked a great conversation, post-movie. As a result, we decided that we should record these conversations and share them with you. The catch is that for this first episode, we decided to go see a movie that neither of us had any desire to actually see. And you get to experience it with us! Yay!

Episode 1: Two Assholes Watch Twilight (Short) – 38:29

For those of you that are more masochistic in nature, we have the unabridged version right here for your listening pleasure.

Episode 1: Two Assholes Watch Twilight (Full) – 59:10

For direct downloads or to subscribe via RSS feed, visit this link.

(I apologize for those of you subscribing via iTunes that have the blog title listed before the podcast title. As soon as I figure out how to fix that, I will.)