Your acting career doesn’t follow the rules.  

It’s an “I can't breathe I’m so excited” joyride that body slams you with an unexpected, hairpin-turn email that says they’ve gone in a different direction.

It’s as fickle as a cat who only wants to snuggle when you’re sitting on the toilet.  

It’s as brazen as Prince’s raspberry beret wearing crush who walked in through the Out door.

In through the Out door!  Who does that?

You do.  Because you’re an actor. And the unknown is totally thrilling.  

If you're like me, there's one phrase that really gets on my nerves. Wanna take a guess what it is?  

I'll give you a hint.

It's not "You're released" or "They went a different direction." Those are annoying, too, but in more of a %#&$^! way. 

Yippee! You have an audition!   

Then, dread. It’s a one-liner.

I know what you’re thinking.  How will I stand out? How will I let the CD know what a good actor I am and that I can cry on cue?  What about my Meisner Training?

Throw it all out the window!  (But not too far.. you’ll need all of this when the guest star auditions roll in).  

Let's Start a Revolution.

Who's with me? Wouldn’t it be incredible if we could take the entertainment industry by storm and move it from a fear-based, nebulous entity to one where we all speak the same language – a language of strengths, self-certainty and positive growth?

That’s the kind of revolution I’m talking about.

I got a great question recently from an actor named Josh Berresford and wanted to highlight it here, because I think this is one that comes up for a lot of people... including me.

Here’s what he asked:

How do we deal with all of the bloggers, educators etc. out there, and be able to extract what will help us most and not be inundated with so much and so many to choose from?

Here’s my (very stream-of-consciousness) response:

Several years ago, I experimented with facial waxing at the most inopportune time.  

I was about to take my biggest client to New York to meet all of my bond trading partners.  It was a huge deal and I wanted to look professional.

So, naturally, I searched high and low for the perfect outfit and waxed the hell out of my upper lip.  

Aaaaand, it turns out that while my outfit kicked butt, the lip wax...not so much.

I ended up with inflamed hair follicles which meant that I sported a screaming-red, pimpled mustache on the trading floor.  Take that, Wall Street!

Today is my 15th wedding anniversary, so I decided to do break from my normal blog and do something a bit different.

You may or may not know this, but I was born and raised in Hawaii. And I got married there as well.  

Another thing you may not know is that it's a tradition in Hawaii, for a bride to dance the hula for her husband.  

Lucky for me, I grew up dancing and used to perform with my hula halau (hula troup) at various festivals around the island.

As humans, we need each other.  

For companionship, for love, and definitely for goals.  

Because we all have strengths and things we’re good at, but we also have the things we’re not so good at. 

This could look like a person who has a million great ideas but never finishes one before she’s off and running with the next thing. 

Or it’s the person that’s who takes so long weighing all the pros and cons that they never make a decision. 

I’m highly aware of what my talents are and also very aware of alllll the things I don’t do well.   

Enter strength-based partnerships. 

One of the things I’ve learned from creating The Magnetic Actor Method is to not take things so personally.

In the beginning when someone unsubscribed from my list, I'd feel sick to my stomach for a while.

Now, I smile because I know it means I’m getting closer and closer to finding my people.  

It’s kinda like dating.

One of my Most Embarrassing Story happened in the bathroom.

It wasn’t that someone walked in on me.

It wasn’t that I tucked my dress into my pantyhose.

It was about karate.

Many actors tell me they struggle with embodying or connecting with their characters. 

So today, I want to teach you an added layer of character development you can use for your next audition. 

First, I'll give you my 3-Step Framework, and then I'll walk you through an example.

Grab a frothy latte or your beverage of choice and tuck in.

Here we go!

Pop Quiz! 

Guess what beloved TV character is described in this breakdown: 

Droll. Dry. A wry observer of everyone’s life. And his own. Works in front of a computer doing something tedious in a claustrophobic cubicle in a nondescript office building. Gets by on his sense of humor. And snacks.

Any guesses?

You may have noticed by now, but I blog a lot about the importance of knowing your strengths. I also talk a lot about what it’s like to start a business.

And all the ways it’s rewarding. Aaaaand all the reasons it’d be so easy to quit.

It’s a lot of work. And I like naps.  

I dream about watching an entire season of Westworld in one day.  But I can’t.

I could…I suppose. But just for one day.  If I want to have a full day where I do nothing “productive," eat popcorn and watch TV, I should be able to do that.  
As long as I know my Why.

I dreamed of being an actor for a long time. But no one knew it, and I didn't pursue it.

Instead, I chose to bury my passion in exchange for a full-time sales & trading job at a Wall Street Bank.

I still tried to act when I could get away with it. But it was hard.

REALLY hard.

I was at an weekend retreat recently and wanted chocolate. No surprise there.  

What was surprising was that when I walked into the meeting room a bit later, it was like someone had read my mind. There were bags of Ruggedly Handsome Cowboy Bark all over the table!

Oh wait…

I used to have a massive crush on Jon Bon Jovi.  

Who didn’t?  

That hair. The swagger. How his lips lingered on the microphone when he sang…

He was the ultimate heartthrob and he made me want to be a singer. Because then I had a chance of touring with him.  

Why not dream big, right?

Have you ever complimented a friend and they deflect and say something like, “This old thing? I’ve had it for years.”  Or “Thanks but I need to get it cut.”

It almost makes YOU feel lame for saying something so ridiculous.  

We’re taught from a young age to not be boastful so we’ve gotten the accepting compliments thing beaten out of us.

For me, it presented itself in the way I handled relationships early on.  God forbid I actually *show* someone how much I liked them.

And then, my acting teacher noticed something that changed everything for me.   

I recently got back from 3 weeks on Oahu, which is where I grew up.

My childhood home is about 100 yards from Kailua Beach, and one of my favorite activities is to get up early and amble down the lane to watch the sunrise over the ocean.

On my first morning, I got down to the beach extra early and dutifully watched for the sun behind a cluster of clouds on the horizon.  

It was the weirdest thing, though. The sky kept getting brighter and brighter, but still no sun.

Hmm.  

You’re not going to believe this, but I just listened to my first episode of This American Life about 6 weeks ago.

And oh.my.god.  Where has this been all my life? 

The episode I heard was Act One of "The Breakup," with special guest Phil Collins. It was a cascade of belly laughs, tears and or warm fuzzy feelings that took me right back to the 80s. 

Because Phil Collins was a big part of my life back then.