photo credit: CarbonNYC

In today’s modern, fast-paced world it’s really hard sometimes to unplug from the stresses and strains of life to find things that make us happy. As adults we have a lot to deal with; bills to pay, children to feed and errands to run. For many of us it’s really easy to be down and unhappy about life. Sometimes there’s nothing better than just having time dedicated solely to the act of making you happy.

So here’s a list of 10 great things that don’t cost anything that you can do today to make you happy. All they cost is time. You’ve got some of that right?

1. Watch a great film

Pick something you really like. It doesn’t have to be something that makes you really think or even be a tear jerker; it might be just a good fun film or a kids film that takes you back to your youth. Whatever brings a smile to your face will work.

2. Do some exercise

Nothing gets those endorphines pumping through your brain than some exercise. Get yourself up and going. Go for a run, go for a swim, or go for a walk. Hit the gym for an hour or so and burn up those calories that have been hanging around since the holidays. Whatever you end up doing, you’ll feel great afterward.

3. Cuddle up with someone you love

Just sitting and chilling on the sofa with the one you love is a great way to make you feel happy. I love it when I can cuddle up on the sofa with my girls or my wife. We talk or watch TV or simply just sit together and let time pass us by.

4. Listen to some great music

You know the feeling when that great song comes on the radio? It can take you back to a different time, invoking long lost fond memories or can lift you up out of your negativity and put a smile on your face. Personally I love to put on my favorite tracks on during the drive to work on a cold and miserable Monday morning.

5. Be grateful

A sure fire way to fix a smile on your face and give you a nice warm feeling in your belly, is to think about what you’re grateful for. Are you grateful for your family, your kids, your job, your house, your health, your car, your safety, your friends or simply that you have the privilege to take breathe every day? Try thinking about what you’re grateful now and see for yourself how it makes you feel.

6. Read a good book

Find a chair, pick up a page turner and just read. Try that book you haven’t managed to get to yet or reread that classic that you can always immerse yourself in. My favourites are the fantasy novels by David Gemmell. As soon as I turn over the first page, I’m transported away to another time and place. They never fail to make me feel happy.

7. Write

6 months ago, I wouldn’t have put this down on my list of 10 things to make you happy. However, since starting 6aliens.com back in November of 2009 I’ve found the joy that can be found from writing. Even if I’m not writing a post, there’s fun to be had in pouring out your consciousness on to the page, even if it’s to be outlet for all your thoughts. You don’t need to publish anything but just getting your thoughts and ideas out of your head can really brighten your day.

8. Laugh

Go on you know it makes you feel better. Watch a funny film. Go see a comedy show. Or just jump to no 9.

–The Health Benefits of Humor and Laughter

9. Call an old friend

You know that friend you haven’t spoken to in ages? The one you’re always promising yourself that you’ll call? Remember those laughs you used to have, the shared jokes and memories that help to strengthen your friendship? So instead of remembering, pick up the phone and have a catch up with that someone who always makes you smile and has a good laugh with you about old times.

10. Meditate

This one I’ve been work on for a while. I recently tried to reset my mediation habit by making sure that I take time to sit with my thoughts once a day. When I do I always feel happier and more content with things afterward. Try it for yourself. Even if you don’t manage to clear your thoughts in the time you have, just allow yourself to process the thoughts and ideas so your brain can make sense of everything swimming around up there.

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About the Author: I’m Ben Lumley, a blogger from the UK who writes about self development at 6aliens.com. Why not connect with me on Twitter @benlumley6 or if you liked this article then why not subscribe to my RSS Feed?

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The post 10 THINGS TO MAKE YOU HAPPY TODAY first appeared on IL CANTONE.

“Life is like a mirror, we get the best results when we smile at it.”

Life is like a mirror reflecting your feelings, your actions and your thoughts. The idea is that everything you experience in life is a reflection of yourself.

There are three justifications behind this idea:

1. People who you interact with will react to your attitude and behavior

The idea here is that you get what you give.

If you are kind with them, they will be kind with you; if you care about them, they will care about you; if you help them, they will help you, and so on. But, on the contrary, if you are negative, if you hate, if you are angry, if you are tense and so on, all these feelings will lead to undesirable behaviors. People react to your words and actions. People will echo your mood and feelings. In other words, they will treat you in accordance the way you treat them.

2. You are the master of your own destiny

You (your mind) are the cause and, at the same time, the solution to most of your problems.

You create your own obstacles and barriers. Most of the obstacles we face in life are self-imposed. You are your worst enemy. The fear of failure and negative thinking are the cause of lack of confidence and prevent you to reach your true potential. Remember, limits exist only in our minds. You don’t believe me? Then you should watch this inspirational video by Nick Vujicic.

On the other hand, you can create your own success story. I like to think of life as a book, every person has a story behind them. Each one of us is the writer of our own story. You decide who you are going to be in this story, the people who share this journey with you. You are the maker of your own circumstances and your own character. I believe that you can transform everything around you, but first you need to reset your mind, reprogram it and then execute the new program. It’s simple, yet complex at the same time. The key is to be positive and to run towards your fears. Think as big as you like, and don’t hesitate to show the world who you really are, because you are the master of your own destiny.

3. The mysterious workings of the universe & the law of attraction

The universe gives you what you ask for (both consciously and unconsciously). I don’t know why or how works, I just know that it works for me and many others. It’s like an invisible force or mechanism. Imagine that you are a magnet that attracts what you think about. I’m sure you’ve experienced it in your life. Maybe you get a phone call from a friend, who you haven’t seen for a while, just when you needed it most. Since the dawn of time, people have been using this law of attraction with their prayers.

That’s the reason people pray, to receive what they ask for. Everybody prays (both religious people and non-religious) one way or another, some pray to God, others, looking for good luck, send requests to the universe. It doesn’t matter to which God, entity or element you pray to. What really matters is to ask for what you want, but not imposing a mandate or ordering a specific result. In order to attract what you ask for, you have to send a clear and realistic request.

The universe is not silent, listen to it: Jupiter sounds, NASA-Voyager recording

How to deliver a clear message

Step 1

Think about what you want; close your eyes and visualize yourself experiencing the desired result, imagine the situation with all its details and feel it as much as you can.

Step 2

Clear the “noise” from your mind. What do I mean with noise? I mean those thoughts not related to the mental image that you are visualizing. You want to keep your message as clean as possible of incompatible thoughts. When trying to visualize the desired situation you will probably come across two kinds of disruptive thoughts:

Blockers: those thoughts that tell you that the law of attraction doesn’t work; you are losing your time sending these mental requests to the universe; it’s ridiculous to expect results from this inexplicable “mechanism” or force of the universe.

Opposite thoughts: those thoughts that tell you that you will not get what you ask for but the contrary. For example: if you are asking for a physical healing this thought can be an image of yourself suffering the same illness or even getting worse.

How to get rid of these disruptive thoughts:

1. Notice them when they appear.

2. Don’t resist them because what you resist persists, just let them pass by and continue focusing on your previous mental image. How to let them pass by? You just realize that all those thoughts are futile and meaningless.

3. Keep focused on your image, keep trying despite all those intrusive thoughts. And remember, practice makes perfect, there is no better instructor than practice. Keep trying because with some practice you will be able to improve your concentration and attention, making easier to reduce, and eventually eliminate, the “noise” from your mind.

Some tips to make your message more effective

Use hook objects. That’s what I do to clarify and strengthen the message:

I use photos and objects anchored to the mental image. In other words, you have to use physical things that bring to your mind that mental image (your request). For example, imagine that you’d like to work for Google someday. You could take a photo of the Googleplex (the corporate headquarters complex of Google) and use it as a wallpaper on your pc, laptop, or even on your mobile phone or PDA. You also can print other related photos and place them around your bedroom or even in your workplace. Seeing these photos of the Google workplace in Zurich I’m beginning to feel the desire to work for them. Larry Page, Sergey Brin or Eric Schmidt, if you are interested to hire me please let me know via email or contact me @DavidCantone via Twitter :D. You get the idea of using hook objects, don’t you? I’ve used it with pretty good results and I’m sure it will work for you as well.

What does it mean a realistic message?

Easy, don’t ask for impossible things. You decide what is impossible or not. Use the common sense. For example, you can’t be millionaire overnight without doing anything. But don’t get me wrong, I also want to encourage you to believe in magic and miracles, have faith. Yes, I know, it seems a contradiction of what I told you above, but believe, it’s not.

And last, and the most important: ACTION, ACTION and ACTION.

The idea here is clear and simple: nobody wins the lottery without having a ticket. If you want to win you have to play, it’s as simple as that. Nobody gives something for nothing. If you want something (more friends, money, readers, fame, a good job, a partner and anything else of value to you) you have to work for it, you have to do your best to get it. Make your dreams reality with persistent action. Fight for what you want every single day of your life and think of the law of attraction just as a tool to achieve your goals faster and easier. It’s like driving to your destination (goal) on a highway instead of taking a single-lane country road. But you always have to keep in mind that you are the only one who can make things happen.

Would you like to know more about the Law of Attraction, check out these great articles:

– The Law of Attraction by Steve Pavlina

– How to Use the Law of Attraction by Henri Junttila

Image credit: René Magritte. Enjoy his paintings: Gallery

Written by: David Cantone

My Twitter: @DavidCantone

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Use the comments section of this post as a forum to share your own experiences, opinions and thoughts on this subject.

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The post LOOKING INTO THE MIRROR OF LIFE first appeared on IL CANTONE.

The amount of new websites that are published every single day is astronomical, but scarily the figure that we need to pay attention to is the amount of websites that fail every single day and by fail I mean websites that are left to dwindle with no fresh content and no traffic. Working round the clock on my site, which is completely ad free, means I have to stay and keep motivated in order to reach my goals. For me motivation is easy because I employ simple techniques that anyone can follow.

There is no ‘secret’ to staying motivated but there are some key components that you need in order to stay motivated for the long haul.

Passion

If you are not interested in your website and only publish content because you think it’s a quick route to success, then you WILL fail. Passion can not be found, it can’t be manufactured. Yes it can be re-light, but passion is deep down in the depths of your belly. It’s a fire that burns so hot, it’ll never completely die. It doesn’t matter how weird or extreme your passion maybe, someone will always be interested in what you have to say or sell. Believe in your product and yourself, the rest will come.

Need

Is there a need for your site? In almost every case, the answer will be yes, but think about what your site delivers, will it enhance someone’s life. Your purpose as a website owner is to educate, motivate or entertain. Whether you sell a product or provide a service, provide something that people need in their lives. This for me is one of the best ways to stay motivated, because the reaction you will get is worth working round the clock, even if one person says ‘Thanks for providing such a great service’ that to me is 100% worth all the effort and sacrifice.

Attitude

You have got to be positive and realistic but don’t let this stop you dreaming. I’m aiming high, bloody high and some say that I’ll struggle to do it, only to come back a week later and see I’m one step closer to it. I love my site, I love the readers, I love visiting other sites and seeing what other people are writing about and their views on everything. I don’t limit myself to only visiting sites that fall within my market place, I stretch out and visit sites and forums that I would never normally think of, why?

Thinking in a more lateral way will help your attitude to your own site and service. Just because these sites or people aren’t in your market place now, they are the people who could come to you one day asking for advice, so get out there and learn about them, contribute and listen.

It can take a long time for someone to reach the level of success they want, but by working hard you can absolutely reach your goal. I set TheInfoPreneur.net up 9 weeks ago, I have been working flat out ever since and now I’m starting to get great results (over 1,400 comments on the 140 posts I have published)

If you really want it, you have to go and get it.

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About the Author: James Richmond writes about blogging, motivation, productivity and entrepreneurship at TheInfoPreneur.net. Check out his website and subscribe to his RSS Feed.

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The post HOW TO STAY MOTIVATED FOR THE LONG HAUL first appeared on IL CANTONE.

“To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.” George MacDonald.

What is trust? Trust is a mental state of reliance on the integrity of a person. When you trust someone you believe that he or she is going to do what you expect.

Why is trust so important? As you probably know the human being is by nature a social animal. We need to develop and maintain relationships with others. We need those relationships to be healthy, to be happy, and to be successful. You probably have many of them but what really matters is not the quantity, but the quality. Trust is the foundation on which a relationship is built. Trust is the ingredient for a healthy relationship. In any kind of relationship (with colleagues, friends, your partner, your family, teachers, bosses, an audience, customers, readers, and so on) trust is a treasure that is hard to gain but easy to lose.

Next, I will share with you the 5 core elements needed to build trust in your relationships:

Truth

Keep your word

Your word has to be as valuable and unbreakable as diamond. If you make a promise, you keep it. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Your word is one of your greatest assets. Please, use it wisely, keep it clean and don’t abuse it, if not, you will regret it for a long time. Follow this advice and you will become a reliable person and, thus, you will build trust in any kind of relationship (customers, readers, boss, partner, friends, and so on). Why? Because they can count on you, they know how important it is for you to keep your promises. They trust you because they know that your word is worth to you more than a fortune.

Tell the truth

You must always tell the truth. Or, in other words: you would never lie about anything. Why? Because if you tell a lie, even a little one, people will lose respect for you. How can they trust you if you lied to them? If people catch you in a lie they will not believe you anymore, they will not trust your word.

– How to Tell the Truth

Be transparent

However, to be truthful is not just to not lie and to keep your promises, it’s also to be transparent with the other person. You have to be yourself, showing who you really are with no deception or tricks. Avoid artificial roles or actions. If people realize that you aren’t being yourself they will distrust you. Regarding trust, natural prevails over unnatural. So, be sincere and talk with your own voice.

– If you are a blogger, this is a good example of being transparent: One Huge Mistake

“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you” Friedrich Nietzsche.

Perseverance

Persistent people who work hard and keep their promises are respected, valued and trusted. Who keep working towards their goals despite the obstacles, difficulties or discouragement will get rewarded for it. Take your work seriously and don’t give up easily because that builds trust. Persistent people don’t like to let anyone down. You know that you can count on them to do what they say they will do. Most committed people are trustworthy because of their competence. Commitment shines through persistent work. Hence, if you want to build trust you need to be persistent and consistent with your actions.

– Some good tips to Develop Persistence.

Integrity

Being honest, decent, respectable, loyal and fair with others build trust. On the contrary, a dishonest person, who only cares about his own interests, inspires distrust and suspicion.

How to build integrity:

• Act fairly.

• Act upon your moral and ethical principles and not just upon material interests.

• Help others to achieve what they want.

Reputation

The reputation and credibility is given by others. You just can’t give yourself a good reputation. That status is given by others when they say positive things about you and your work. Work well done is greatly appreciated and rewarded with praise and admiration. But it takes a long time and effort to gain recognition for your work. You simply can’t attain overnight recognition. The key is to demonstrate experience and expertise every day in your work. Show that you are reliable, honest and trustworthy doing what you said you would do. Another good way to build reputation is doing things for others and treating them respectfully and fairly.

There are two ways to build reputation and credibility:

1- Treating people fairly and equally

Apply the rule: “Treat others as you would like to be treated.” What would you like others to do for you? Do that for them.  For example, imagine that you’d like to receive more comments on your blog: comment on other blogs and maybe you receive some comments from them in return. More RTs to your tweets: RT other people’s stuff. The idea is that you get what you give. Don’t pretend to receive honey when you give nothing. Or in other words, don’t pretend to be appreciated when you are indifferent to others’ needs and feelings. Don’t worry if someone didn’t do anything for you in return.  You don’t have to expect anything in return for your kind and helpful actions, just do them. What is really important is that you did something good for another person.

Benefits for doing something good for others:

• Feel better by doing something good for others.

• People are incredibly appreciative: Do something for others and they probably will do something for you. When you do something for someone else without expecting anything in return, you create an invisible tie with that person. People will feel they owe you something, it’s like an imaginary debt, in other words, people feel they should “pay” for what they received. Again, don’t worry if they don’t do anything for you in return, do it without expecting anything from them.

• If you do something for someone else without expecting anything in return you build a good reputation among others.

2- Doing a job well done

Your work is your calling card. Your work is a reflection of who you are. What does your work say about you? Do always your best. Don’t accept less than the best.

– How to Use the Web to Build a Powerful Reputation in Any Industry

Satisfaction

Anyone who comes in contact with you has an expectation of what will happen. If you satisfy that expectation you build trust. If you exceed all expectations you win admiration and, of course, you build trust and credibility. But if you don’t satisfy that expectation you lose credibility and respect from those who have a relationship with you personally or professionally. Trust depends on keeping commitments. But the key here is to satisfy that expectation over and over again, day after day, year after year, and so on. Yes, I know it’s a lot of work, you have to put forth effort to build trust, but it is worth it. So, to build trust you have to satisfy the expectations with perseverance, not do so just once, but again and again. The more times you meet other people’s expectation on you, the greater the trust you will get from them.

And remember, trust is hard to gain but easy to lose. It may take a long time until the other person trust you, but it just takes one misstep to ruin a good reputation.

Written by: David Cantone

My Twitter: @DavidCantone

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Now, I’m looking to you for some wisdom:

Use the comments section of this post as a forum to share your own experiences, opinions and thoughts on this subject.

Share your thoughts & ideas and enjoy what others share with you 🙂

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The post HOW TO BUILD TRUST IN 5 WORDS first appeared on IL CANTONE.

I love to share music on Twitter, above all new age music but not only. Lately I’ve received some emails from twitter friends asking me for my favorite music.

–

I thought that it would be great to share an extensive and complete list of all my favorite new age music.

I’ve always been a nervous guy. As time passed by, my nerves led to anxiety, sleep disorders, headaches and some other negative effects of the stress produced by our modern world-system, daily life challenges and some unexpected and disruptive events of life. Throughout my life, I’ve been looking for good relaxing music to sooth my nerves and calm my restless mind. Then, one fine day, I saw the amazing movie of Blade Runner by Ridley Scott, in fact, it was one of the reasons why I studied filmmaking. I was amazed by the plot, the characters, the beautiful images, the dark future and its post apocalyptic atmosphere but, above all, I was fascinated by the music of the film; I had found a priceless treasure: the music of Vangelis. But, I had found much more than a fantastic album and a great musician: I had discovered a new world of sensations. He was the first new age composer I knew but, after a while, I started to know many others (Brian and Roger Eno, Constance Demby, Alva Noto and so on). Each of them have their own style but they share something in common: the good quality of their music.

Benefits of listening to this new age relaxing music

• Reduces stress and anxiety

• Induces sleep

• Reduces negative emotions

• Many other related health benefits

Reduces blood pressure, boosts the immune function, improves body movement and coordination, reduces the feeling of fatigue, decreases heart and respiratory rates, and a long etc.

• Improves productivity

• Improves memory performance

• Boosts concentration

• Unleashes your creative potential

I listen to this music while working, above all when I need to be creative, in fact I’m listening to it right now.

• Brings joy into your life and makes you experience new emotions and sensations

In fact, I’ve been moved to tears several times by some of these songs, but don’t tell it to anyone :P.

Next, an extensive list of my favorite relaxing music across the universe:

Note: If you wish to purchase a copy or copies through the links below I would get a commission (4% of the final price). It doesn’t affect the purchase price and you can help support this blog.

You can listen to samples of the songs from each album clicking the link I provide. Once in the Amazon Store you will see, just below the image of the album cover, a “Listen to Samples” link, follow it and voilà!

I’m always looking for new music, so stay tuned because I will keep updated the list.

ALVA NOTO (+ Ryuichi Sakamoto)

• Insen

AMORPHOUS ANDROGYNOUS

• Tales of Ephidrina

ANUGAMA

• The Lightness of Being

APHEX TWIN

• Selected Ambient Works Volume II

ATB

• Trilogy

• Addicted to Music

BILL LASWELL

• Dark Massive/Disengage: Ambient Compendium

BIOSPHERE

• Substrata

• Insomnia

BRIAN ENO

• Ambient 1: Music for Airports

• Music for Films

• Neroli

• Apollo

• The Shutov Assembly

BROKENKITES

• Fugue State

CENTROZOON

• Blast

CHRIS BOCAST

• Trough the Airlock

CONSTANCE DEMBY

• Aeterna

• Light of This World

• Novus Magnificat: Through the Stargate

• Sacred Space Music

• Set Free

CRAIG ARMSTRONG

• As if to Nothing

DR. JEFFREY THOMPSON

• Inner Dance

ERIK WOLLO

• Emotional Landscapes

FENNESZ (+ Ryuichi Sakamoto)

• Cendre

GLEISBERG

• Buddha Lounge, Vol. 2

HANS ZIMMER

• Gladiator

• Regarding Henry

• The Last Samurai

HAROLD BUDD

• Ambient 2: The Plateaux of Mirror

• The Pearl

• The White Arcades

• The serpent

JAMES HORNER

• Braveheart

JOHAN JOHANNSSON

• Englaborn

LIQUID MIND

• Relax: A Liquid Mind Experience

• Liquid Mind V: Serenity

• Liquid Mind VI: Spirit

• Liquid Mind VII: Reflection

• Liquid Mind VIII: Sleep

MANEKI NEKO

• Auracle

MARSEN JULES

• Les Fleurs

MARKUS GUENTNER

• 1981

MICHAEL MANNING

• Public

MICHAEL NYMAN

• Gattaca

• The Piano

MICHAEL WHALEN

• My Secret Heart: Romantic Meditations for Ambient Piano

NINE INCH NAILS

• The Downward Spiral

PASS INTO SILENCE

• Calm Like a Millpond

• Pop Ambient 2006 (Various Artists)

ROBERT FRIPP

• The Equatorial Stars

ROGER ENO

• Voices

• Between Tides

STARS OF THE LID

• Tired Sounds of Stars of the Lid

• Refinement of the Decline

SYSTEM SEVEN

• 777

TY BURHOE

• Invocation

VANGELIS (my favorite composer)

I’ve written a special post about Vangelis, check it out.

The list is ordered by preference with the date of publication of each album. If the album is a compilation you will see a “C”.

1- Blade Runner (1994)

2- Reprise (1999) C

3- The city (1990)

4- Antartica (1983)

5- 1492 The Conquest of paradise (1992)

6- L´Apocalypse Des Animaux (1973)

7- Direct (1988)

8- Chariots of Fire (1981)

9- Oceanic (1996)

10- Alexander (2004)

WILLIAM BASINSKI

• Melancholia

That’s all, but stay tuned because I will update the list regularly. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do 🙂

My Twitter: @DavidCantone

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The post MUSIC TO DREAM: An Extensive List of my Favorite Relaxing Music first appeared on IL CANTONE.

I’m sure you’ve heard some of these phrases related to fear: overcoming fear is crucial to your growth as human being; fear is limiting you to achieve your true potential; fear is killing your opportunities; fear is the most important barrier to your success and so on. Well, let me say you that all of them are totally true.

But, what is fear? And, above all, what’s the cause of fear? Fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat. So, the cause of fear is a threat. It’s a survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific thread of danger. Hence, the key to overcome your fear is to realize that it’s irrational. There’s no real threat of danger or, at least, the threat is less dangerous or serious than you thought. It’s a bug in your mind that needs to be fixed. Throughout my live I’ve learned and developed some mental techniques to eliminate or to reduce the cause of fear, that is, that irrational threat of danger. Some of these techniques can seem weird or surreal but using them I’ve got pretty good results.

You can’t let fear run your life. If you don’t know how to beat that sense of fear that causes you to freeze and to not move ahead with your goals and dreams, don’t worry, because I’m going to share with you my 5 secrets to conquer fear:

Put things into perspective

Think about your challenges and fears, or treat them, as relative because nothing is too bad or too important. Do you remember how nervous you were when you took your driving test? Or when you took your final exams in high school? Now, many years (or not so many) from then, you can see the real importance of those situations. If you fail don’t worry too much because life will always offer you a second chance and, most of the times, a third and a fourth. So focus on do your best and don’t worry too much about the consequences of your acts.

Focus on doing your best

Don’t think about the consequences of your acts, just do what you have to do, and do it as well as possible. The idea is to avoid thinking negative thoughts while doing a feared activity. The key to free your mind from those annoying thoughts is to enter into a deep level of concentration. This technique is commonly used by sport athletes, drivers, riders, soccer players, and so on. But you can use it in any situation to free yourself from all the worries and fear that threaten your success. Just as an example, you can use this technique to overcome your fear of public speaking. Try not to think about yourself and your appearance. Focus on the content and the way you deliver it. Try to express your thoughts as clear as possible. When you try your best to express clearly your message you get a deep state of concentration and you pay less attention to what others are saying or thinking about your speech. So, focus on your message and you will say goodbye to your fear of public speaking. Well, as I said, this can be applied to any fear.

Life is just a dream

In fact, life is your dream and it belongs to you. This is a powerful tip to overcome any fear you face in your life. People often overestimate the consequences of their acts. Have you ever had a lucid dream? A lucid dream is a dream in which the sleeper is aware that he or she is dreaming. When the dreamer is lucid, he or she can actively participate in. When you are lucid dreaming you can manipulate the experiences in the dream environment. It’s as real as life. Well, when you are experiencing a lucid dream you are totally free of fear because you know you are in a dream, you don’t worry about the consequences of your acts. Then, you treat your experience like a game or an experiment. You want to feel your experience to the fullest. What I’m telling you is to change your mind when facing challenges, treat those challenges like if you were in one of your dreams. Do your best and don’t worry about what others may think or say of you. Remember, you are in your dream/life and it belongs to you.

Think about the immensity of the universe

If you are worried to face a challenge due to your fear of failure use this method: think about the immensity of the universe, think about the planets, even beyond the Milky Way galaxy, think about these millions and trillions of stars, and above all, see how little you are in this complex and immense world. Feel the immensity of the universe and feel your insignificance in it. Why? Because feeling your insignificance in the universe you will understand the stupidity of being worried about facing challenges and its possible consequences. Yes, it may sound weird but I assure you it works. Give it a try. I usually apply this technique the night before an important exam; I look at the stars out my window trying to feel the immensity of the universe; once I’ve realized how little I’m in this magnificent universe, my problems, worries and fears get smaller and lighter.

Think about death

Death is inevitable and unpredictable. No one can escape death. “Death” and “I think, therefore I exist” are probably the biggest truths of life. You may ask yourself: “Why do I need to think about death?” Death reminds us to live our life to the fullest and with no fear to face challenges. It’s not enough to think about death in a superficial way. You have to feel it; you have to think about the void and the emptiness. But don’t misinterpret me, I don’t want to depress you with negative thoughts. Thinking about death will give you the courage to fight for what you really want. Why? Because it’s now or never; you only have the present moment, the future is uncertain. You have to be realistic about your destiny. You can die anytime and anywhere. You can die 40 years from now or you can die tonight while sleeping. People are dying every day, every minute: old people, young people, children and babies, and the majority of them deserved to live as much as you do. Hence, you have to do what you want to do right now despite what others may think; live the moment without stupid fears and don’t rely on tomorrow because it may no longer exist.

But thinking about death is much more than a simple mental technique to be proactive in life. I’m talking about facing the humanity biggest fear every single day of your life. Remember, the only way to overcome a fear is facing it with courage over and over again. Samurais knew this secret, I took it from them and now I share it with you.

Written by: David Cantone

My Twitter: @DavidCantone

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Now, I’m looking to you for some wisdom:

Use the comments section of this post as a forum to share your own experiences, opinions and thoughts on this subject.

• How do you deal with fear?

Share your thoughts & ideas and enjoy what others share with you 🙂

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IL CANTONE is now a 4 month and a half old. During this period I’ve made some good friends and, above all, I’ve learned a lot and shared it with all of you.

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I have many wishes and plans for the next year, but there is just one clear goal on the horizon: to keep growing. That’s what I really want for me and for all of you: just to keep growing, to keep going forward from where we are now, one step at a time but always moving forward.

I want to thank all of you for your support this year.  I wish you a joyous holiday season and a happy and prosperous new year. If you are looking for something to read, here are some of my favorite articles:

• Creative Thinking: 10 Ways to Boost Your Creativity

• Do You Want to Live Longer and Better? Top 20 Tips for a Healthy Heart

• How to Manage Urban Stress

• How to Improve Your Luck

• 7 Habits That Can Change Your Life

• How to Overcome Any Challenge You Face || 4 Steps Method

• How to Develop Persistence

To your success in 2010 and beyond,

David Cantone

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This post is the next part of How to Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking (Part I), with another 6 effective tips to conquer your fear of public speaking once and for all.

But, first of all, I recommend you to read or refresh the original post.

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And here is the continuation of the list of How to Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking:

1. Free yourself from the anxiety caused by the fear of failure

The fear of failure is probably the main cause of your anxiety when trying to speak in public. You don’t want to seem stupid in front of all these people; you don’t want to screw it up in front of your boss or your teacher; you don’t want to disappoint your audience; and so on. What you really want is to be perfect; you want people to respect you, to love you for your speaking skills and unique knowledge. Let me say you something, perfection is just impossible, above all if you are not an expert on what you do and you have not mastered your speech. So, don’t worry if your early speeches are not going exactly as you dreamed. Don’t worry to make some mistakes when you speak in public. Mistakes are normal and even desirable because we always can learn something valuable from them. Things don’t always happen as planned. The only way to overcome a fear is facing it with courage. Don’t worry too much about the result of your speech. Relax and keep your own mind as clear as possible focusing on the main points of the speech. Be confident and try your best.

2. Relax yourself before the speech

How to control nerves before the speech? Here some tips to relax and avoid nerves.

Ask yourself: What’s the worst that could happen?

Imagine the worst scenario possible. It’s not so bad. Then, once you’ve imagined the worst scenario possible you have to think what you would do to deal with the consequence. What? You get fired? Well, I don’t think you can get fired because your speech, but if you get fired for it you always can get another job, don’t you? Maybe you can find a better one. Or even better, you can start your own business. Is your audience laughing at you? I don’t think your audience do that, but if someone does don’t worry, relax, make a pause of 5 seconds and concentrate to deliver your main message as much clear as possible.

Be positive. visualize yourself giving the speech and doing it great. Optimistic thoughts will help you to boost your confidence. So, develop a positive mental attitude before your speeches and you will feel better.

Relax your body doing some exercises before the speech: stretch your muscles: legs, arms and mouth.

Take deep breaths, close your eyes and try to calm down. The breath can do wonders. Breathing exercises are an ideal way to relieve stress.

3. Avoid those situations that make you feel nervous

Don’t be late to deliver the speech. Why? Because being late and feeling rushed will make you feel nervous.

Test your equipment and be prepared to any unexpected event.

Please, don’t apologize when you make a mistake or when you feel nervous. People don’t want to hear any excuses, they just want to learn from you. So, instead of giving apologies try to focus on your message and deliver it as clear as possible.

4. Avoid negative thoughts

They lead to negative emotions and with a negative mood you are more likely to get nervous and screw it up.

5. Act as you’d like to feel

Act confidently and the audience will think that you are confident. Besides, if you act confidently you will eventually become more confident.

6. Be yourself

People love transparency and those who are genuine and authentic. If you seem artificial and unnatural your audience will feel tricked.

“Always do what you are afraid to do.” Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Written by: David Cantone

My Twitter: @DavidCantone

*  *  *                                  *  *  *                                *  *  *                               *  *  *

Now, I’m looking to you for some wisdom:

Use the comments section of this post as a forum to post your own experiences, opinions and thoughts on this subject.

Share your thoughts & ideas and enjoy what others share with you 🙂

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The post HOW TO OVERCOME YOUR FEAR OF PUBLIC SPEAKING (part II) first appeared on IL CANTONE.

The ability to deliver a good speech in public is a skill highly valued. In fact, you can’t expect to be a leader or named as an influencer if you can’t face your audience and grab their attention effectively. You can use public speaking for many purposes such as persuasion, motivation, influence, informing or simply entertaining people.

But, what do I mean with public speaking? In my opinion, the meaning of public speaking contains a very broad range of different possibilities: telling a story to your friends in a bar; raising your hand and speaking in your class; speaking up in a meeting with customers; speaking in the workplace in the presence of your colleagues and boss; speaking in the court of law; talking with some of your employees; Speaking in front of 10/100/1000/10000 people; but even being interviewed by a TV or a radio reporter or being interviewed in a podcast by a blogger buddy could be considered as public speaking.

Each one of these situations generates a sense of fear that we experience as anxiety with a different degree of intensity, depending on your own circumstances and the situation itself. This anxiety can ruin your speech and holding you back from achieving your goals and dreams. This sense of fear is blocking your true potential. Free your life from this fear, reach your audience effectively and become the person you’ve always wanted to be.

If you have always been terrified of public speaking don’t worry because I’m going to share with you all my secrets to overcome this sense of fear.

1. The Socrates advice

The story tells about a young Alcibiades, at that time disciple of Socrates, who wanted to speak in public but he doesn’t know how to do it. He was extremely nervous. “How can I speak in public and express exactly what I feel and all what I want to say?” Alcibiades asked. Socrates, very calm, as usual, told him: “Do you talk to the blacksmith?” Alcibiades replied “yes.” Socrates continued: “Do you talk to the carpenter?” Alcibiades said “of course”. “Are you afraid of talking to the soldier?” “No.”“So then? What is it to you to talk to all of them at the same time?”

2. Be prepared: study and learn

You need to know what you are talking about. Learn as much as possible about the subject of the speech. But don’t be too broad with your learning. Spend your time on mastering what is really important. Ask yourself: What is the audience expecting from me? What are the essentials or the main points of the speech? Remember always this principle: It’s much better to know less but better than to know more but worse.

My advice: don’t memorize every single word of your speech. If you attempt to memorize every word you are more likely to forget things, you would start of making inconvenient pauses, your nervousness and anxiety would start to grow and your mind would go definitely blank. Memorize just the main points of your speech.

So, to avoid your anxiety, nervousness and tendency to panic when speaking in public be prepared.

3. The Demosthenes method: Practice in your home

Learn from Demosthenes, the best orator of all time, who built an underground study where he exercised his voice, shaving one half of his head so that he wouldn’t be drawn into the involvements of society. What a great and hilarious idea: shaving one half of his head in order to avoid going outside and get distracted from the important thing: the speech.

Besides, Demosthenes had a speech defect, “an inarticulate and stammering pronunciation” that he overcame by speaking with pebbles in his mouth and by reciting verses when running. It’s incredible. Isn’t it? The world’s famous orator of all time had a speech defect. It proves that with hard work, perseverance and determination everyone can achieve success in almost any life endeavor.

Demosthenes also corrected any facial distortions by practicing in front of a mirror. So, you can master your ability to speak in public in your own home, where you feel comfortable and with no pressure. Study your speech and then practice in front of a mirror, as Demosthenes did, or even better take a video camera and film yourself. I prefer the last one because you can focus on your delivery and once you’ve finished your speech you can check how you did it over and over again. When watching the video you have to take note of every gesture, every weakness of your delivery and ask yourself: How can I improve it? How can I deliver my message more effectively? Answer these questions and then implement your new ideas over and over again, check the result until you feel confident enough to speak in public.

4. Become resistant to fear

How to become resistant to fear? Challenge yourself and take any opportunity to speak in public. Once you feel confident enough you have to face your fear of public speaking, because the only way to overcome a fear is facing it with courage. My advice and what I’ve been doing since I was a child: challenge yourself; take any opportunity that comes your way to speak in public. Is your teacher asking a question? Raise your hand and answer it. Are you in a conference with an audience of 1.000 people and the speaker welcomes questions? Great! Raise your hand, take the microphone and ask an intelligent question. The bigger is the challenge the greater the learning is. I’ve spoken in front of large groups of people many times; I’ve been interviewed on TV several times; some radio interviews as well; etc. The idea is to take the opportunities to speak in public whenever you come across them, every single day of your life, until you become the speaker you want to be.

5. Build confidence little by little with small successes

If the fear to speak in front of 1000 people is too big and you just can’t face it you should start with little challenges and build on that, reaching, step-by-step, the goal you want to achieve. Maybe you could speak in front of 10 people and once you feel confident enough you can face bigger challenges. Build your confidence little by little. Build your courage facing your fear of public speaking again and again, but do it bit by bit. So, take the next step and keep on going and going after your true potential as a public speaker.

“Fear of failure must never be a reason not to try something.” Frederick Smith.

Face your fears, beat them, become a master of public speaking and live your dreams!

I will publish “How to Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking (Part II)” in the following days.

Stay tuned 🙂

Written by: David Cantone

My Twitter: @DavidCantone

*  *  *                                  *  *  *                                *  *  *                               *  *  *

Now, I’m looking to you for some wisdom:

Use the comments section of this post as a forum to post your own experiences, opinions and thoughts on this subject.

• How do you handle public speaking?

Share your thoughts & ideas and enjoy what others share with you 🙂

————————————————————————————————————–

Did you enjoy this article?

Please, share it on Stumble Upon or Twitter. I would really appreciate it. Thanks 😉

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This post is the next part of How to Develop Persistence (Part I), with another 6 effective tips to become a persistent person.

But, first of all, I recommend you to read or refresh the original post.

And here is the continuation of the list of How to Develop Persistence:

1. Divide and rule

Maybe the goal is too complex and can make you feel overwhelmed and discouraged; you don’t feel capable to conquer this challenge and you quit.
My advice: break your goal into smaller goals or steps and then focus on each one at a time. One little step at a time is not so hard. Besides, when you finish a task, although it’s a little one, you feel good and your confidence increases. Every time you finish a task you feel good and it’s this feeling that motivates you to do more. Finished the first mini-goal or step you can go back and pick the next task on your list. Then, after taking a rest, you can try to do the next task.

2. You need action

This is probably the most important piece of advice to become a persistent person: Intention without action is useless. Once you have a plan you have to start doing what you have to do. Work until you’ve finished your task (or your small piece of it). Don’t wait! Stop making excuses and start doing your task now!

3. Develop the action habit

This is a crucial step. Form the action habit working every single day on your task (taking daily breaks or rest periods between days of work). My advice: avoid distractions and start doing real work, until you’ve not finished your high value work you can’t get rewarded. Follow this piece of advice every single day of your life (again, taking proper rests). Once you’ve done real work you can get distracted with low value tasks (checking email or rss, reading blogs, books, magazines, calling friends, using twitter, facebook, watching videos on youtube and so on).

4. Reward yourself for accomplishments

After you finish each task, reward yourself. The reward has to be in accordance with the importance or the difficulty of the goal achieved. If the goal is a little one you can have a snack or take a break, watch a movie, call a friend, go outside, eat an ice cream, and whatever fits best at that moment. If you’ve achieved an important goal the reward can be a big one too: buy a car, take exciting vacations around the globe, rent a sailboat and sail the seas for a month, and so on. You should find a balance between productive work and rewards.

5. You have to overcome obstacles and setbacks

If you want to develop persistence you have to hold on even if you feel like quitting. Even when you are not in the right mood you have to work; if you feel sick you have to work; if you fall in love you have to work; if you are depressed you have to work. In other words, you have to work despite all your problems. You need to develop the ability to disregard your emotions and feelings. You have to work with your mind free of distractions. So, don’t wait for the right mood to start working on your tasks because you can waste too much time waiting for it to come. Don’t think about tomorrow. Don’t postpone your dreams. Be present – Today is the right time to start doing your task.

6. Close your mind against negative influences

Don’t listen to those who say you never will succeed. Don’t get discouraged by no-sayers. Be confident enough to do what you love and keep trying. It’s your life not theirs. Usually is your own family who discourages you with negative statements or attitudes. Don’t listen to your “friends” if they want you to
break up.

If you are a blogger check out this inspirational article: What to do when your idol tells you to quit.

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Money, fame, honors, success, love, happiness, and everything that’s really worthwhile in life takes effort. So, don’t try to lie to yourself, don’t raise false hopes for instant and effortless success. No great achievement is possible without persistent work.

Persistence is a key success factor. You can be talented but if you don’t put a persistent effort into your daily tasks you never will fulfill your dreams or your potential as a human being.

“Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragement, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak.”– Thomas Carlyle.

Written by: David Cantone

My Twitter: @DavidCantone

*  *  *                                  *  *  *                                *  *  *                               *  *  *

Now, I’m looking to you for some wisdom:

Use the comments section of this post as a forum to post your own experiences, opinions and thoughts on this subject.

Share your thoughts & ideas and enjoy what others share with you 🙂

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Did you enjoy this article?

Please, share it on Stumble Upon or Twitter. I would really appreciate it. Thanks 😉

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