Thanksgiving?  Stuffed with history and myth, basted with family drama, sugar-coated with platitudes, but also seasoned with thoughtfulness, it is what we make of it.

Just like everything else. (Breath and Water, November 21)

Shawna Foster objects to [...]]]> Thinking deeper about Thanksgiving

Rebecca Hecking acknowledges that Thanksgiving, even stripped down to the practice of gratitude, is a complicated holiday.

Thanksgiving?  Stuffed with history and myth, basted with family drama, sugar-coated with platitudes, but also seasoned with thoughtfulness, it is what we make of it.

Just like everything else. (Breath and Water, November 21)

Shawna Foster objects to liberal disapproval of retailers open for business on Thanksgiving.

I remember working holidays. Holidays paid a time and a half. It made the extra bills of the season bearable.

Perhaps retail workers themselves would rather be home. At the same time, I am not so sure of outrage on their behalf. (Vessel, November 21)

Fifty years later, remembering JFK

For Deb Weiner, the assassination of President John F. Kennedy was an “end of innocence” for her pre-teen self.

I started peppering my childhood minister, Rev. Wayne Shuttee, with questions about how there could be a loving God in the face of insanity and rage.  About why there was a world where such bad things happened. About how people find courage and strength to carry on in the face of such stuff.  (Morning Stars Rising, November 21)

The Rev. Dr. Cynthia Landrum points out generational differences in how we think about the anniversary of JFK’s death, and suggests a pastoral approach.

So, Gen X and Millennial friends, we need to get over our cynicism and stop rolling our eyeballs.  . . .  [We] need to . . . cut through the surface level, the media level, that we’ll be hearing about, and talk to people about what this moment really meant to them, how it changed them, why they continue to focus on it, what its deeper meaning is. We need to get past the nostalgia and into the real work of the grief and fear, and the way it continues to shape our country. (Rev. Cyn, November 21)

A wider love

Roy King asks, “What if Pantheism were a middle path between monotheism and humanism, between the One and the Many?”

The great divide in our Unitarian Universalist congregations has historically been between those who are theists, namely those who believe in some sort of personal God, and our humanists/atheists who believe that humankind is the ultimate measure of all things. A monotheistic God is a unifying principle, while humanity is a source of rich diversity. (Mediterranean Wisdom, November 21)

The Rev. Dr. David Breeden considers the influence of Hinduism on “Transcendental Humanism.”

If the self is Brahman . . . Sounds a bit like American Transcendentalism, doesn’t it? There’s a reason for that. British philologist (and one of the colonizers) William Jones, better known as “Oriental Jones,” made Hindu thought available to early-Nineteenth Century Americans of a particular intellectual persuasion. People such as the Unitarians inclined toward Transcendentalism—including the Peabody sisters, Thoreau, and Emerson.

Vedanta’s third point is direct experience. The Transcendentalist knew what that meant. They put themselves in the way of lived experience. They lived for those moments. (Quest for Meaning, November 21)

The Rev. Jake Morrill remembers being a “playground atheist,” and the support his younger self received from his UU community.

In all the years since, my theology has evolved. I have taken communion, stopped in awe before mountains. I have prayed till tears come, and sat in meditation for long hours in a dark Buddhist Zendo. But, truth be told, it was as an atheist that I first came to see, in a way that was real and has not failed me since, how I am part of a love wider than my own life, and how that spacious embrace makes itself known to me, most often, through a community like the one that first told me, “You are not alone.” (Quest for Meaning, November 18)

Gender, memory—and grammar

Teo Drake refuses to live in fear.

They did not like me as a girl—they like me even less as a boy.

I am not a straight white man, my queerness invisible to the naked eye.

They tell me they might let me live if I never speak up. If I sit complicit in my silence, while they shout their misogyny, their homophobia, their transphobia—their ugly hate.

If I keep my mouth shut maybe it won’t be me to die today—maybe it will be you. Can I live with my own deafening silence?

No.

I will not live in fear. (roots grow the tree, November 19)

The Rev. Dan Schatz offers a prayer for the recent Transgender Day of Remembrance.

We remember and honor those who walk proudly,
who love themselves and others,
who teach by their being,
and who reach to help others along the way. . . .

This day
and every day,
may all of us,
transgender and cisgender alike,
dedicate ourselves unflinchingly
to respect for every human being,
to justice,
to equality,
and to the transforming power of love. (The Song and the Sigh, November 20)

The Rev. Amy Zucker Morgenstern boldly declares “‘they’ is a perfectly appropriate gender-neutral third-person singular pronoun.”

Whether agender and transgender folk will adopt “they” for themselves is up to them. It’s not up to me, and I will use whatever pronoun a person prefers for themself, but I humbly suggest that it has a huge advantage over “ze,” “hir,” or any of the other neologisms that have been tried. Neologisms do take hold sometimes, but when we already have a word that has worn a path in our linguistic landscape—the way “they” has done for many of us—it’s likely to be the best place to build the road. (Sermons in Stones, November 14)

Babies, mamas, and ministry

The Rev. Tom Schade would like UU congregations to go into the baby blessing business.

Our baby blessing should come right out of our core theology. Each baby is a person, unique and irreplaceable. The baby blessing ceremony should challenge parents and families to respect and honor that child’s own soul. A child is not a toy, a pet, a person who can use to fulfill our own needs. A child is not here to bring you glory, or fulfill your dreams. In all likelihood, a child will not turn out as you expect, or hope.  (The Lively Tradition, November 16)

The Rev. Parisa Parsa charges her colleague to live in the power of both ministry and motherhood.

The world is rife with terrible tales of both bad ministers and bad mothers, and both vocations are subject to images of goodness idealized to inhuman proportions. Short of setting ourselves on sainthood—which is particularly unrealistic in a tradition that abandoned that notion a couple of centuries ago—we have to find other ways to live in the very large landscape between perfect and terrible. The charge I have to offer you this morning is to live in the power of these roles at least as much as you live in the fretting over each of them. (Pastor Prayers, November 21)

Growing—and breaking through

The Rev. Tandi Rogers pulls back the curtain on the process of choosing Breakthrough Congregations.

This is how I want to answer that question:
• Do “religious community” well.
• Be yourself intentionally, joyfully, and impact-fully.
• Live your saving message in bold, generous, loving ways inside your walls.
• Live your saving message in bold, generous, loving ways outside your walls. . . .
[But] I know what most people mean by the original question is really, “How are Breakthrough Congregations chosen?” Here’s how. . . . (Growing Unitarian Universalism, November 20)

The Rev. Thom Belote allows us to eavesdrop on his congregation’s decision-making about one service, or two.

If it was our goal to stay at our current size, I would recommend returning to one service.  If it is our goal to grow, we should probably stick with the two service format.  (Rev. Thom, November 16)

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Unitarian Universalist Association will be closed next Thursday and Friday for Thanksgiving. Interdependent Web will return the following week.

Given the increased frequency with which these catastrophes are happening, . . . it is the responsibility of people with financial privilege . . . to find trustworthy agencies who will ensure that [...]]]> Typhoon Haiyan: how we can help

Karen Johnston discusses how to help when tragedy strikes in distant places—without sending SWEDOW (Stuff We Don’t Want).

Given the increased frequency with which these catastrophes are happening, . . . it is the responsibility of people with financial privilege . . . to find trustworthy agencies who will ensure that the donations serve the people most in need. This is a subjective process. . . . It does require some effort at a discernment process. Yet, there are ways to make it a little easier on yourself. What I do is look to people I respect. (irrevspeckay, November 12)

Among other options, Johnston refers to the UUA/UUSC joint response to Typhoon Haiyan; the Rev. Scott Wells suggests the World Food Program USA (Boy in the Bands, November 12).

Living in community

The Rev. Myke Johnson reminds us of the joy of living in loving community.

So often when we hear that we should love one another, it sounds like hard work, like a task, like a moral imperative that would be good to follow, but not very pleasant. And I admit there is something difficult about loving one another. But somewhere in the middle of it, comes a surprise. There really is divinity within each person—and when we see it, it is beautiful, joyful, mysterious, and wonderful. (Finding Our Way Home, November 9)

Liz James shares a summer adventure—a story about how communities need both upstream thinkers and wave riders.

Wave riders, as I think of myself, are not just deficient up streamers. We are bad at one set of skills and good at another set. We are the authors of surprise vacations and spontaneous river trips. We are the ones who turn the bedbugs into an adventure and co-author the “stuck on airplane songs” of the world. (Rebel with a Label Maker, November 13)

The Rev. Joanna Fontaine Crawford asks, “Does your church take care of ‘their’ community or ‘the’ community?”

It’s easy . . . to feel the need for “our community,” for a safe place to seek sanctuary for a culture that often feels so foreign, with its emphasis on consumerism, celebrity, and, depending on where you live, fundamentalism.

But it’s not enough for us to make a safe place for “our community.” Our parish goes beyond our walls and we’re called to make that entire parish more loving, more tolerant, more whole. Those other folks out there—they are residents in the Beloved Community, too. (Boots and Blessings, November 11)

Drawing on the words of the Prophet Isaiah, the Rev. Naomi King writes “Hope is ours indeed, when hope is in our deeds.”

My life has changed dramatically in the past few years, and every time I cannot attend a meeting or join friends at a cafe or go some other place because of curbs and steps and crowded narrowed cluttered spaces I have a choice: do I suffer in exile, or do I go ahead and make home, welcoming and meeting others where we can meet, inviting and encouraging my neighbors to want to make our towns accessible to all? (The Wonderment, November 13)

The Rev. Audette Fulbright writes a letter to UU seminarians about the UUMA guidelines as an invitation to spiritual practice.

Guidelines and covenants hold before us high ideals and expectations, but they also are meant to build the bridges necessary for us to reach them. See them as the planks and beams of what helps create good ministers and ministry: relationships of trust and support, some shared expectations, and a system of accountability to hold it all. (Raising Faith, November 7)

Rebecca Hecking asks, “Got baggage?”

Each of us carries the baggage of generations. Each of us does battle with hidden ghosts. Each of us is wounded. Each of us suffers. . . . On a good day, a day when I’m feeling particularly spiritual and enlightenment seems likely, I can see this. I have a namaste moment with all humanity, and those who cross my path. The hidden burden I carry bows to the hidden burden that you carry. (Breath and Water, November 14)

Faith and interfaith

The Rev. Dr. Carl Gregg summarizes a class he’s teaching on alternate Christianities and extracanonical books of the Bible.

The most important point may be that there never was a simple beginning in which all you needed to do was believe in a certain interpretation of the meaning of Jesus’ death. As rediscovered “Lost Christianities” and banned books have shown, in the beginning was diversity, experimentation, and conflict—that has continued to this day—over the meaning of Jesus’ life and teachings. (Pluralism, Pragmatism, Progressivism, November 13)

The Rev. Jeff Liebmann is an atheist, non-Christian follower of Jesus.

Whether he actually existed or resides merely in myth, I admire the person who walked humbly, helped everyone without judgment, and stood up to the authorities of the day speaking out for equality, fairness and mercy. If he walked our streets today, I imagine him decrying our cuts to food stamps, calling out business greed that destroys families and demanding an end to our violence against each other. (UUJeff’s Muse Kennel and Pizzatorium, November 9)

Attending an interfaith dinner and celebration, “Plaidshoes” was most touched by a non-verbal interaction after the event.

I went out to get my jacket and ran into one of the women from the table. I didn’t get to talk to her very much as she was seated further away and had a harder time with English. She was also fully covered in a headscarf and reminded me of a sweet grandma. When she saw me in the hallway, she rushed up to me and took my hand, hugged me and kissed me three times. It was one of the most amazing, touching things I have ever experienced. It almost left me in tears. Friendly, open dialogue truly can make the difference. That is why this work is so important. (Everyday Unitarian, November 8)

The Rev. Dr. Miguel A. De La Torre, a guest preacher, gives an altar call at All Souls Unitarian in Tulsa.

Conversations about masculinity

Doug Muder comments on the bullying accusations concerning Richie Incognito of the Miami Dolphins.

The resemblance to the keep-it-in-the-family view of child abuse or domestic violence (in my opinion) is more than coincidental. Implicit in the criticism of Martin is the idea that there’s only one acceptable way to be a man, and being shy or non-confrontational is not part of it.

. . . . Hazing and bullying is often about group solidarity. And often the ultimate beneficiary of a solid group isn’t a team or teammate, or even the bully himself, it’s a boss or owner. (The Weekly Sift, November 11)

In his series of conversations about masculinity, Adam Dyer writes about the trauma of “culturally imposed skin hunger.”

[There] is one kind of trauma that men in America experience we should be exploring much more deeply. . . . Starvation by touch or what I would call culturally imposed skin hunger. By forbidding touch, particularly touch between males, men in our culture experience life in a world devoid of unconditional human contact. They are in essence ‘starving’ for physical contact and most of them don’t even realize it. (spirituwellness, November 13)

Expanding the Web

The Interdependent Web usually limits itself to explicitly Unitarian Universalist-identified bloggers. This week Jeffrey Lockwood, an entomologist, was featured in Andrew Sullivan’s blog, The Dish. Lockwood was not identified as a UU, but he is a regular contributor to UU World and the UUA has published several of his books; here Lockwood describes a “creepy-crawly” encounter.

Grasshoppers boiled in every direction, ricocheting off my face and chest. Some latched on to my bare arms and a few tangled their spiny legs into my hair. Others began to crawl into my clothing—beneath my shorts, under my collar. They worked their way into the gaps between shirt buttons, pricking my chest, sliding down my sweaty torso. For the first time in my life as an entomologist, I panicked. (The Dish, November 13)

[Interdependence] is, in fact, where the holy resides. The holy resides in our ability to ask for help and receive it. The holy resides in our [...]]]> Help, I need somebody

When his two-day-old daughter will not wake to eat and is admitted to the hospital, the Rev. Dr. Michael Tino learns to say, “Help, I need somebody.”

[Interdependence] is, in fact, where the holy resides. The holy resides in our ability to ask for help and receive it. The holy resides in our ability to hear another’s cry for help and respond. The holy resides in our connections of compassion and vulnerability.

In our willingness to fall to our knees and overcome barriers of theology and pride in order to admit we need some help. The holy resides in our admission that we need somebody else. (Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Northern Westchester, November 3)

For the Rev. Robin Bartlett, newly ordained and a new-again mama, being a parent renews her commitment to “destroy hells so that we can help make a world worthy of our kids’ promise”—even when hell is the seemingly idyllic suburbs.

Hell is in our separation from one another, our loneliness and isolation, . . . our SECRETS IN GENERAL. . . . Hell is in our depression and our inauthentic relationships with the people we are trying so hard to impress. Hell is in our lack of trust of our neighbors; the way we cover up the bad things. Hell is here, and we live in it. . . .

Our mission is to start admitting to each other that parenting is hard, and that we need one another to do it. . . . Our mission is to start telling the truth about what’s real in our parenting and marriages, and to ask for help from those around us.  (Religious Education at UUAC Sherborn, November 6)

Explaining ourselves

Karen Johnston risks asking a new friend, “Why aren’t you a UU?” Her friend turns the question around and asks Johnston, “Why are you a UU?”

Being explicitly supported on a spiritual path that had no creedal box was surprising at first, then utterly empowering. . . . Coming from an understanding that faith requires an imposed box, this is a freeing understanding, but also an immature, if necessary, one.  I know now that understanding myself to be Unitarian Universalist frees me and binds me, enables me to be on a spiritual path of belief and obliges me to be engaged in spiritually responsible actions to and with my fellow creatures. (irrevspeckay, November 4)

The Rev. Ron Robinson shares his answers to frequently asked questions about Missional Church.

Missional comes from the Greek word missio (to be sent). It is about being Sent, being called, to be with and for others, especially those hurting for whom my heart breaks. It is not about having a spiffy mission statement, especially one that is all about one’s own faith community. (Missional Progressives, November 3)

Asking, “How would you drive if everyone knew who you were?” the Rev. Andrew Weber reminds us that actions speak louder than words.

Usually when we go through life—and especially while driving—there is a sense of anonymity. We don’t need to think about how our actions affect others because we don’t know them, they don’t know us and we probably will never meet face to face. . . .

Let go of the anonymity in life. Live as if everyone you interact with is your friend! (How to Drive Like a Minister, November 4)

The nature of the human heart

The festival of Diwali reminds the Rev. Jake Morrill of a lesson learned at the local Hindu Community Center.

In this old world, at all times, dark abides. Wherever you can be found—ancient India, maybe, or else only off an American highway where untold travelers, rapt with fear and desire, purchase sex toys and guns and the dream of new life in a golfing community—wherever it is, the dark will be welling up into the light, and the brightest of lighting will not put it out. Instead, light and dark in a life will at long last forge union. (Quest for Meaning, November 2)

Andew Hidas looks at inconsistent views of human nature held by liberals and conservatives.

[We] need to ask conservatives: Given what you know and espouse about human nature, why would you favor deregulated markets? . . . [We] must ask liberals: By espousing tightly regulated markets, haven’t you essentially bought the darker conservative view of human nature? . . . Liberals want to watch bankers like hawks but often go all soft and sympathetic on welfare fraud. Conservatives watch every food stamp transaction at the checkout stand to make sure the recipient isn’t buying cigarettes with the leftover cash—while imploring regulators to get off capitalists’ backs so the “magic” of the free market can be unleashed. (Traversing, November 3)

Writing at his new blog, The Liberal Pulpit, the Rev. Meredith Garmon begins a new series of posts, “Why Not Evil?”

Unitarian Universalists read the papers more than average. We know what’s going on out there, and we know people aren’t always filled with kindness and compassion. We have a pretty clear sense of human capacity for evil. Just ask a typical UU how much she trusts the board of Monsanto to do what’s best for their workers, their consumers, or the planet. (The Liberal Pulpit, November 5)

Belonging is complicated

Childhood experiences of dislocation make the Rev. Myke Johnson value belonging to community.

We start out in relationship, and our unique individuality grows out of that circle of relatedness. Not the other way around. We all need each other in order to flourish and to thrive in life.

To give Locke and others their due—the philosophy of individualism was created in rebellion against the authoritarian structures of an earlier age, the tyranny of church and monarch. To affirm relationship is not to deny the importance of human dignity and freedom. But we must recognize that relatedness comes first, and within that circle of relatedness, we find our inherent worth and dignity. (Finding Our Way Home, November 6)

The Rev. Amy Zucker Morgenstern defends people who stay in a religious community, even when they no longer believe all of that community’s tenets.

People may stay for a lifetime in a religion that is not a perfect fit, because it’s the best fit. We don’t get to create religions from scratch, not if we want things like 5,000-year-old roots; we choose from a limited list of options. I’m really no different today than anyone who chooses an imperfect religion (or job or place to live or marriage or . . . ). Unitarian Universalism suits me very well, but not perfectly. Just the same, I’m staying here. Does that make me insincere? Of course not. (Sermons in Stones, November 2)

June Herold struggles with finding a congregational home, and a way to use the gifts she brings to our faith.

The opposite of a famous UU citation seems to be true in many places: We think alike but we don’t love alike. No one seems to be considering whether the reality of what we say in church community is actually the opposite of what is transpiring.

Early on, a minister told me that people go in and out of church communities throughout their lives for many reasons.  I understand that now.

I’m a UU but I’m wandering. (The New UU, November 7)

Pirates, peaceniks and radicals

The Rev. Dan Harper disagrees with the idea that we become more conservative with age.

I find myself getting more radical with age. The older I get, the more I realize how foolish and unproductive and morally bankrupt war is; the more I feel we have to protect our kids from war and violence. And increasingly I think most radical thing we can do is turn our kids into peaceniks. (Yet Another Unitarian Universalist, November 4)

For “UU Clicker,” radicalism began in a childhood commitment to defending a loved one.

I knew I couldn’t convince my father he was mistaken, but I resolved to study hard so when I grew up I would have a comeback. I would be on the side of people like Bernice. People whom my father dubbed “The Great Unwashed.”

You can see that from an early age, I didn’t believe everything I was told. I was a radical, one who looks at the roots of things. In middle age, I became a Unitarian Universalist, hoping to continue as a radical with like-minded people.  (Clicking UU Life, November 5)

John Beckett recommends piracy for working within an unfair system, while also working to change that system.

Piracy is playing the game intelligently and exploiting the rules to your advantage.  The rules of our mainstream society were developed for the benefit of those with money and power.  If we are excluded from the decision making process and denied a fair share of the benefits of the system, we should not feel constrained by the rules of the system. (Under the Ancient Oaks, November 5)

I won’t make CD’s of all the music associated with [...]]]> The solace of the Sox

Living far from Boston but a life-long Red Sox fan, the Rev. Tony Lorenzen writes that, “In a world beset by many painful, disruptive, and disorienting events from divorce to terrorism, the Red Sox provide a connection, a home, and some peace.”

I won’t make CD’s of all the music associated with the Red Sox. . . . But I have pulled those songs onto a play-list and will listen to it thinking about how the Sox make my life a little brighter, whether it’s by sending me down memory lane thinking fondly of my grandfather listening to the game on the radio while hunched over the kitchen wastebasket shelling and eating peanuts or reflecting on how the Sox are a commonality that bring me closer to friends who hold opposing, as in polar opposite, political views. . . .

This year the Sox reminded of who I am, where I’m from, and the people who love me. Sometimes that’s as much solace as we get, and possibly as much as we need. (Sunflower Chalice, October 31)

Precious as the stars in heaven

Remembering Martin Luther, the Rev. James Ford pins five theses to the cork board in his kitchen, including one that echoes the first UU Principle.

Its good to remember you are as precious as the stars in heaven. You are absolutely unique. You will never be repeated. And, you’re as passing as the morning dew. Take care of yourself, it’s a sacred obligation to your mother and father and the holy one. (Monkey Mind, October 31)

Christine Slocum’s new UU congregation is a wonderfully baby-friendly church.

It’s the little things: people approaching me to express how much they love hearing a little baby coo in the services, the woman next to me holding open the hymnal while my arms are full, and strangers stopping to smile and talk to my little one. My baby is probably convinced that the standard operating procedure for meeting strangers consists of smiles and declarations of wonderfulness and beauty, because that’s all she experiences. (Christine Slocum, October 28)

The Rev. Jake Morrill tells the story of meeting a Good Samaritan—a tired exotic dancer in Hattiesburg, Mississippi.

A magazine I once read had a feature on “Southern hospitality.” I remember the photos: a big porch with white pillars. A carved wooden pineapple hung by the door. Inside, some plump sofas and delicate curtains. A life of plenty and ease. I’d be willing to be pampered in a setting like that. But, to me, “Southern hospitality” will always look less like that mansion, and more like a one-room apartment in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. (Quest for Meaning, October 26)

The Rev. Diane Dowgiert, echoing another blog post from last week, suggests that we need to re-examine the stereotypes about who Unitarian Universalists are.

I hear the kinds of questions newcomers get asked. For example, “What do you do?” The person answers, “I work at Raytheon.” And the questioner responds, “Oh, so you must be an engineer.” This leaves the newcomer, who is actually a janitor, wondering, “Would you still respect me if you knew what I really do for a living?” (Transforming Times, October 24)

Diving deep

The Rev. Myke Johnson risks talking about her heart’s spiritual hunger.

Today, when I venture inside my own heart, I still experience deep longings, these hungers that feel almost like pain, or sometimes like restlessness. It is difficult to feel this and I am tempted to read a book, or find something else that might fill up that empty place. But instead of escaping or fixing it, I invite myself to try to be present with it. I breathe into the longing and let myself experience the hunger. (Finding Our Way Home, October 27)

The Rev. Erik Walker Wikstrom has a spiritual encounter with “holy ground,” but then cannot find its borders.

[As] I began to put my shoes back on I found myself wondering about where the boundary was around this “holy ground.” Was there a circle of some as yet indeterminate diameter that was holy ground with everything beyond being more mundane? . . . Where does “holy ground” end and “unholy ground” begin? I have to say, I’ve still never found that demarcation. (A Minister’s Musings, October 31)

The Rev. Ken Beldon announces the beginning of Wellspring’s annual “Thirty Days of Gratitude,” and invites participation: “Over the month to come, we’ll be working with beginning, intermediate and advanced steps that can help us grow in gratitude.” (Thirty Days of Gratitude, October 30)

Margaret Sequeira compares the intersecting roles of psychotherapy, spiritual direction, and coaching when life calls us to “dive deep.” (Scattered Revelations, October 30)

Observing Samhain

For John Beckett, Samhain is a time of “the thinning of the veil between the worlds,” when we can hear the spirits of Nature speak—if we listen.

What might they say to us, or at least to those of us inclined to hear with more than physical ears?

Away, come away.
Come away from your antiseptic bubbles and dig in the dirt.
Come away from your high tech glamours and make your own art.
Come away from your isolation and greet your neighbors—all your neighbors.
Come away from your masters and follow your heart.
Come away from your arrogance and revere our Mother.
Come away from your greed and embrace enough.
Away, come away. (Under the Ancient Oaks, October 27)

For guest blogger Irene Jericho, Samhain “speaks to the spark within the darkness.”

The loved ones that exist beyond death. The light within us that shines on the darkest of days. The comfort of a warm hearth on a cold night. This is the gift, and the lesson, of this season. That the Wheel of the Year turns, and we turn with it. That a journey into the night is not something to be feared. It is simply a part of the cycle. (Pluralism, Pragmatism, Progressivism, October 30)

Making choices

The Rev. Dan Harper shares a reflection by Samuel Erickson about being a Unitarian Universalist and a conscientious objector.

As for this Unitarian Universalist church, I know we do not specifically teach pacifism, but I believe what we do value directs itself to such. . . . [Pacifism] is when we stop and think about any situation, you and I realize that violence will never accomplish anything, death will not solve problems. When we extrapolate our actions from there and to the rest of our lives, that is what means to be a conscientious objector. (Yet Another Unitarian Universalist, October 27)

The Rev. Dr. Cynthia Landrum thinks about whether she will go to see the movie Ender’s Game, based on the novel by Orson Scott Card (who actively opposes marriage equality).

[The] old Orson Scott Card fan in me really wants to see it, and the activist in me wants to boycott it. . . . If I go see Ender’s Game, then I will give the amount of my ticket price directly to an organization working for same-sex marriage or liberal politics to offset the gain in Card’s pocket, much like offsetting a carbon footprint. (Rev. Cyn, October 30)

Freethinkers’ groups

Sarah, a Unitarian in Scotland, has enjoyed becoming involved with the new atheist Sunday Assembly in Edinburgh.

Church, if you set aside the religious element, is about congregating with others to take a bit of time out from busy lives and reflect on life a bit; to be uplifted together; to reach out and do some good to others. There are many people who want all these things, but are just turned off by the God part. (Meaning and Truth, October 26)

An earlier blog post describes Sarah’s first experience with the Sunday Assembly, and compares it to services in the Unitarian church. (Meaning and Truth, August 18)

In his sermon, “We Already Exist,” the Rev. Stephen Kendrick voices the thoughts of many UUs about the Sunday Assembly and other new freethinkers’ groups.

Around the Web

After a trip to Paris, the Rev. Tom Schade writes that “travel is now the great humanist pilgrimage.”

I am not referring to humanism as atheism, but as the great humanist turn in Western thought when ordinary life was placed at the center of consciousness and thought. . . .

How to illustrate this great turn away from the divine toward the ordinary and human? Consider the Cathedral at Rouen, begun in 1200. It was built to last, a place to worship the everlasting God by His everlasting church. In 1890, Claude Monet painted a series of paintings of the Cathedral’s facade, each one capturing the impression on his eyes made by the ever shifting light shining on the unchanging stones. (The Lively Tradition, October 29)

As Americans struggle to adapt to “Obamacare,” the Rev. Elz Curtiss suggests that we all need a bit of pastoral care.

Now that the Affordable Care Act has provoked the unavoidable controversies, I find myself missing true religious leadership during this process.

You might be liberal or conservative, in either your theology or your politics, but as a clergy-person, you are taught to stand with your people during times of change, and reassure them that, “Yes, change is hard. Yes, change is scary. When familiar things get rearranged, it feels like you’re under attack.” (Politywonk, October 29)

Are you lavish Are you liberal Generous to a fault? Is your mind open Do questions make You want to sing Songs of maybe so? (Sermons, Poetry and Other Musing, October 23)

The Rev. Tom Schade links the goals of political liberalism [...]]]> Liberal people of faith

Reminding us that “labels can mislead,” the Rev. Theresa Novak spins out the meaning of the word “liberal.”

Are you lavish
Are you liberal
Generous to a fault?
Is your mind open
Do questions make
You want to sing
Songs of maybe so? (Sermons, Poetry and Other Musing, October 23)

The Rev. Tom Schade links the goals of political liberalism and universalism.

Universalism is not just a Christian doctrine of salvation. . . . Universalism is, I suggest, a concrete historical process, an unfolding process within which we are only in the middle. . . . Universalism is the process by which the subordinated human beings claim their full power, throw off the habits of deference (and entitlements) and see their universality, in all their diversity. (The Lively Tradition, October 23)

Gracia Walker Basham tells her “UU Salvation Story,” of finding in Unitarian Universalism a liberating and empowering message.

Who’s welcome here?

A widely-shared post by Lee Walton calls our liberal credentials into question. Walton conducted a survey, asking one simple question: What are you afraid to admit at a UU church?

I first became aware of this issue when a close friend and committed Christian said to me, “Lee, I wanted it to work.  I really tried. I wanted to be a part of Unitarian Universalism, but my faith is just not welcomed there. I couldn’t take the scoffs anymore when I’d talk about my faith nor the pot shots at my beliefs from others in service. It was just too much. I’ve decided to not go anymore, which is real shame because I don’t know where else to go.” (Tallahassee UU, October 22)

Mindful practice

Invited to mindfully chew a raisin—a food she detests—Jordinn Nelson Long learns lessons in patience and presence.

Take this thing that you recoil from the mere thought of, and engage with it. Don’t eat around it, or pretend it’s not there, or swallow it whole. Take it on. Do precisely that which makes you uncomfortable, and continue to do it until the feared object disintegrates. (Raising Faith, October 19)

Karen Johnston visits the New England Peace Pagoda, and circumambulates the stupa.

[When] I walked around the stupa, I calmed nearly immediately. It is a meditative act that requires my walking to slow. I make sure each step is a step of intention. I put one step on one cement tile and the next step on another cement tile.  (Irrevspeckay, October 19)

The Rev. Alex Holt outlines the mindfulness practices that have helped him lose weight and become more fit.

It began with a friendly pat on the belly—mine, to be exact. . . . Whether that gentle pat was real or just my imagination makes no difference as the karmic law of cause and effect brought me through all the hundreds of miles walking, mindful eating, tracking calories with high tech software, and most of all the support of those who urged me on to this place of better health. (Living Life Well One Day at a Time, October 24)

In his marriage, the Rev. Sam Trumbore has discovered the courage to be wrong.

What has made the most difference . . . is cultivating courage. In the face of . . . disapproval and in the certainty or uncertainty of my own position, sensing the danger to the well-being of our relationship, I take a breath and strive to be present to what is happening. If I feel discouraged, shamed, or threatened, I strive to stay put and not attack or run away. . . . For me, courage requires examining the flood of chemicals being pumped out by the amygdala, honoring their primitive intention to protect my body from harm, and allowing them to calm down before acting. (Rev. Sam Trumbore, October 18)

Around the web

Despite her best intentions, the Rev. Dr. Victoria Weinstein sees her younger self in the story of a 24-year-old teacher allegedly murdered by a student.

I don’t like the narcissistic tendency to make tragic stories all about “Wow, that could have been me” or “What would I feel like if that was my kid?” or any other such projection. . . . In my opinion, the only appropriate response is to pray for the victims, to pray for the broader community affected, to reach out where possible to offer support or help. But this time, I indulged myself simply because the memories came back unbidden, fast and full of feeling. I pray for them all, such pain. Lord have mercy. (Facebook page, October 24)

Now that her children are almost grown, Tina Porter looks back at how her home has served her family’s needs.

[This] house has stood and kept us bound to each other with its four small, yet brightly-colored walls. And it has billowed and withered as needed. . . . I see now that it [is] a magical house, an accordion house, that looks small from the outside, but holds—and has held—so very much within. (Long Thoughts, October 20)

Kat Liu objects to the term “fitness privilege.”

When we talk of privilege we need to be moderate in our use of that word lest it come to mean nothing. There is a difference between the privilege that gives you access to the resources to help you succeed at whatever you set out to do, and “privilege” being thrown as a weapon against someone who has succeeded at something. (Reflections on the Jewel Net, October 23)

The Rev. Dan Harper has published a series of reports from UNCO13 West, “a gathering for people who are doing creative innovative things with religion and technology and churches reaching out to people under 40.” One aspect of this “unconference” that he most enjoyed was the welcome extended to children.

The service was not dumbed-down to kid level; there were no “moments for children,” no talking down to children during the sermon. Everyone accepted, with love, the autistic five year old who needed to run around (and occasionally be corralled by his parents) during the services. Yes, it could get a little chaotic, but between the love in the community, and the seriousness of purpose, it all worked out. I want to belong to a church that worships like this every week. (Yet Another Unitarian Universalist, October 24)

Advice for prospective seminarians

Jordinn Nelson Long and friends have collected words of wisdom for anyone hearing a call to ministry.

Gather all of the financial resources you have available; if you can liquidate some assets, even better. Place them in the center of a large circle. Light them on fire. Dance around it, singing “We are the flow, we are the ebb,” or other Pagan chant of your choice, while filling out form RSCC-6 detailing financial plans for your future ministry. (Raising Faith, October 22)

The instant feedback taught me a lot about writing; if I said something clumsily, people would misunderstand me and we’d be [...]]]> Remembering UUs-L

Before blogs and social media, the UUs-L mailing list was an important way for UUs to bridge geographic distances; learning that the list will be shut down, Doug Muder remembers its heyday with gratitude.

The instant feedback taught me a lot about writing; if I said something clumsily, people would misunderstand me and we’d be off on some ridiculous argument that would never have happened if I’d just been clearer. That daily back-and-forth taught me how to write not just to make sense to myself, but to make sense to other people. (Free and Responsible Search, October 15)

Human(ist) blogging

Sharing stories of ordinary, daily life is an important component of blogging; Unitarian Universalists, for whom “everything is holy,” blog human experience as spiritual practice.

It took three months, but I finally found the strength to tell the story of my daughter’s birth.

Less than eleven hours start to finish, half-naked outdoors, excruciating pain, a wild-and-crazy ambulance ride, no meds—and I did it, with the help of a great partner, her mom, our doula, the EMTs and the doctors and nurses. (Nagoonberry, October 15)

Sarah MacLeod’s new love asks her, “What are you thinking?”

I’m thinking about growing old with you. I am hoping to know you when our hair turns white and our faces are etched with decades more love and laughter and, because this is life, sorrow. My father says all marriages end. Whether by divorce or death, they end. He’s not generally the gloomy type, but the Eeyore-esque comment reminds me of the impermanence of our day-to-day lives as well as our very existence as well. Marriage ends. Life ends. And still, I think about growing old with you. (Finding My Ground, October 14)

Tina Porter dreams about her father, and when she wakes, remembers that he is dead.

Tonight, as I lay me down to sleep, I’ll pray my father comes again. And maybe he’ll have a basket of black walnuts and take a seat on the porch instead of speeding off in his El Camino.

And then maybe I’ll sleep deeply and well, as he watches. (Long thoughts, October 14)

The Rev. Meg Riley thinks about life and death in her autumn garden.

Some people believe that we’re perennials, that after our deaths, our souls reside eternally in one place or another. Some say we’ll be back, though perhaps in a different form. Whatever is and will be, I live my life as if I’m an annual—acting as if, if some part of me is to survive, it will be in the growth of the seeds I have sown in my lifetime. (Quest for Meaning, October 15)

Using all our sources

The Rev. Theresa Novak shares a poem about the six UU sources.

Have you checked
Your sources?
Do you know
Why you believe
What you believe? (Sermons, Poetry and Other Musings, October 16)

The Rev. Dr. David Breeden is a humanist—who’s weary of all the “ist” labels.

Oh, that labeling thing! Why do we have to be an “ist” this or an “ist” that? I don’t want to be an “ist.” Being an “ist” is about being a follower. I don’t have any interest in that. . . .

If I’ve got to be something, I’ll take “everythingist.” (Quest for Meaning, October 17)

Rabbi Rachel Barenblat visits the pulpit of the Unitarian Church of Montreal, celebrating the Canadian Thanksgiving holiday.

When we give thanks, we place ourselves in relationship to something greater than ourselves. Our prayers of thanksgiving and mindfulness carve channels of gratitude on our hearts, and the more frequently we carve those channels, the more easily our spirits flow in those directions. (Velveteen Rabbi, October 13)

Karen Johnston lights Shabbat candles at a gathering of UU seminarians.

One might think it strange to be lighting Shabbat candles when there is no intention of setting the day aside. Not to mention that the candle will be lit well after sundown, just given the schedule of events. When the roles for worship were handed out, no one volunteered for this element and it almost got take out of the liturgy.  I think the lack of interest largely had to do with lack of familiarity. Which doesn’t seem like a good enough reason to not include such a beautiful, resonant ritual.

So, given that I am not Jewish, but that I am Jew-ish . . . I volunteered. (irrevspeckay, October 11)

Navigating interdependence

Liz James, traveling to attend the same gathering of seminarians, experiences the viral nature of interdependence, writing, “to be human is to be an agent of contagion, which leaves none of us without some small piece of both power and responsibility.”

Michelle was the name of the woman who was in charge of scanning your boarding pass and pointing you to a line to go through security [at the airport]. . . . As she worked, she joked with passengers, shepherded people who needed assistance, and wished people Happy Thanksgiving (if they were carrying a Canadian passport). . . . By the time I reached the front of the line, I was grinning broadly from watching the process of her transforming each traveller, as I awaited my turn for a blessing. I wasn’t disappointed. With a huge smile, Michelle took in my grinning face and said “Now, Honey, that is what I like to see!” (Rebel With a Label Maker, October 17)

Rebecca Hecking shares her strategies for avoiding “global-bad-week-spillover syndrome.”

The challenge was to stay grounded. To hold center. To not allow the tension in the wider world to gel into a knot between my shoulder blades. I was not completely successful (or maybe I’m just stiff from resuming my yoga), but that’s okay.

What helped was consciously choosing where to spend my mental and spiritual energy, instead of being swept up in the national dysfunction. (Breath and Water, October 17)

Odds and ends

The Rev. David Pyle has discovered that ministry is energy intensive, rather than time intensive.

I have moved away from thinking about time management, and am now focused on developing for myself good patterns of energy management. It is a far more complex project, the management of energy, because energy is far more complex than time.  (Celestial Lands, October 17)

Adam Dyer shares an overview of, and his perspective on, the gathering of seminarians also attended by bloggers Karen Johnston and Liz James.

“What was that?” I find myself asking. The first Continental Gathering of Unitarian Universalist Seminarians (CGUUS) over the weekend of October 11-13 was a group of about 50 people ranging in ages, races, orientations and social locations that descended like a tsunami on Harvard Divinity School and First Church Boston where we shared and learned and taught and explored many of the various sides of where we are headed as future Unitarian Universalist ministers. (spirituwellness, October 15)

The Rev. Dr. Carl Gregg shares his hopes for “a gender liberated world.”

The need for greater gender freedom in our society is, likewise, as clear to me as the need to create a world in which no child is every again made fun of for their natural gender expression—whether masculine, feminine, both, or somewhere in between.  (Pluralism, Pragmatism, Progressivism, October 15)

The Rev. Dan Harper sees, in the government’s budget deadlock, “a battle between two competing theologies.”

On the one side, the possibility of salvation is understood to reside primarily in individual humans. To put it another way, fighting sin is primarily the responsibility of an individual. . . .

On the other side, the possibility of salvation is understood to reside both in the individual and in social institutions; however, in practice the emphasis tends to be on social salvation and social sin, since social sin is perceived to be so much more powerful a force than individual sin. To put it another way, fighting sin is primarily a battle that must be fought in social institutions. (Yet Another Unitarian Universalist, October 11)

If you’re charismatic, your charisma doesn’t belong to you, wretched mortal individual that you are; it is ageless; it belongs to humanity; so don’t take credit for it—this is the religious [...]]]> Charisma is a gift

The Rev. Dan Harper acknowledges that religious liberals are skeptical of charismatic leaders, even though they “drive institutions and make things happen.”

If you’re charismatic, your charisma doesn’t belong to you, wretched mortal individual that you are; it is ageless; it belongs to humanity; so don’t take credit for it—this is the religious liberal’s attitude. We religious liberals can tolerate charisma only when it is combined with serious humility. (Yet Another Unitarian Universalist, October 6)

The Rev. Terry Davis enjoys an opportunity to hear the Dalai Lama speak.

Coupled with his delightful red and yellow robes and a red visor to shield his eyes from the glaring stage lights, the Dalai Lama came across as highly approachable, wise and cool all at the same time. He was, in a word, charismatic. . . .

Whether it was divinely conferred charisma or personality charisma, His Holiness had this gift of grace in spades. He gave my spirits a lift that carried me the rest of the day. (NWUUC, October 9)

Haunting churches

Crystal St. Marie Lewis, who identifies as both Christian and UU, wonders if liberal Christians draw a circle that exiles her.

Is our circle wide enough for those who, after careful consideration of all facts and evidence, cannot believe what they once did? . . . Is there a bridge that can lead Christianity’s Jesus-loving doctrine doubters home from exile? (Crystal St. Marie Lewis, October 9)

Barry Sanders tells the story of a young girl who loses her love for baseball, using it as a metaphor for the experience of those hurt by churches.

Some people’s experience with church has been similar to Karen’s experience with baseball. They’ve been yelled at. They’ve been hurt. They’ve been made to feel like they are no good. They’ve given up.

For those of us who have discovered that we can love the game again, how do we share that love? How can we show them that there are coaches who don’t yell and teams where all the kids are nice? How do we let them know that practice can be fun, not hurtful?

How do we convince those who have given up to give it another try? (Gathered by the Fire, October 9)

The Rev. Theresa Novak shares the text and video of her sermon, “Haunting Church.” (Sermons, Poetry and other Musings, October 6)

Justice strategies

During the government shutdown, The Rev. Scott Wells examines the differing roles of government and private charitable institutions.

Baked into the conflict is what the proper role of government should be . . . . Which makes me question the natural churchly impulse to private, charitable solutions to social harms, like hunger. Isn’t that just playing into an anti-government script? Especially since churches can barely keep their doors open. . . .

But there’s also the difference between a regularly-operating government and a crisis. Today we have a crisis and so today we have a responsibility to give more to charities that pick up where government initiatives fail. (Our task tomorrow is to push the vandals out of office.) (Boy in the Bands, October 7)

The Rev. Andrew Weber questions a sensationalist focus on UUs who get arrested for their activism.

Do I need to have a criminal record in order to have my voice heard? Is the goal of social justice activity to be handcuffed and carted away? Is this the sort of activity we want to promote to our congregations, members and religious leaders? . . . Our focus is dangerously skewed toward the negative and sensational.

Let us instead focus on the positive of the civil disobedience and what others can do to make a difference. (How to Drive Like a Minister, October 9)

Spiritual experiences

Andrew Hidas writes about six life-changing kinds of experiences; as a new parent, I was drawn to his description of how life changes when we have a child:

Unless we completely relinquish all claims and care for our children—and even that decision would haunt all our days and thus not absolve us at all—we are now bound in a new way to the ground of existence itself, to the generativity that is in our very genes and so deeply embedded in our psyches as to be instinctive, driven and whole. Life cannot possibly be the same afterwards. (traversing, October 6)

The Rev. Dr. Victoria Weinstein writes a “love letter” to Matilda the Musical, addressing in particular Tim Minchin, who wrote the words and music.

Well, excuse me Tim Minchin, but for all your atheistic protestations, I would nevertheless like to thank you for putting a child’s mystical experience to music. I think you have written one of the most deeply spiritual musical numbers I have ever heard on the musical theatre stage. (PeaceBang, October 8)

Waking from a nightmare, Terri Pahucki examines her relationship with fear.

I realized this morning that I have been holding fear larger than life, like some faceless monster. I see the changes I might be moving into, and a part of me panics: Am I up to this? Can I do this? In this sea of change, what holds me and keeps me from falling into the river? Or perhaps I am yearning to fall—as in the words of Mary Oliver—Are you living just a little and calling it a life? . . . Fall In! Fall In! (Walking the Journey, October 7)

Odds and ends

Writing to other seminarians facing roadblocks, Shawna Foster shares wisdom gleaned from delays in her journey toward ordained ministry.

Whoever you are, reading this as you have been postponed, I love you. I have been you before. . . . You are not alone on the path, and in time, you will be what you were meant to be. (Writings, October 10)

The Rev. Lee Richards answers the question, “Is UUism a movement or a religion?” by saying, “Neither. And both.”

We are a religion, absolutely, because we are dependent upon forming communities of faith. While it is possible for a lone individual to be Unitarian Universalist in principle, one only blossoms in the company of others. (Pullman Memorial Pastor’s Blog, October 9)

Lori Stone Sirtosky begins a new blog, in which she plans to document the progress of a liberal religious community of “free-range Unitarian Universalists.” (Worthy Now, October 5)

The Rev. Dan Schatz, whose parents were federal employees when he [...]]]> Teach us to be nimble

As a government shutdown drew near, and became reality, UUs had quite a bit to say about the situation. We’ve selected a few representative posts below, and you can find more with a search on UUpdates using a word like “shutdown.”

The Rev. Dan Schatz, whose parents were federal employees when he was a child, points out the pain a shutdown inflicts on government workers.

We don’t hear very much in the national media about the people who will be directly hurt when the government shuts down. This isn’t just about whether we’ll be able to visit a national park or go to the Smithsonian; it’s about ordinary working people’s lives. Nobody should have to lose their credit rating, or heaven forbid their home, or go hungry, because a group of politicians decide to throw a temper tantrum. (The Song and the Sigh, September 30)

The Rev. Thom Belote, writing from a conservative district, shares the lessons he learns from his representative’s Facebook page.

Let’s face it: Remember those promises about cutting spending and reducing the size of government, about standing up to Obama and working to repeal the Affordable Care Act? Those promises are being fulfilled by the sequester, by the shutdown, and by whatever the House has planned when it comes time to raise the debt ceiling. All those calls for members of congress to go without pay during the shutdown are misguided. The members of congress responsible for the shutdown are simply doing the job they promised they would do when elected. (RevThom, October 2)

The Rev. Jude Geiger offers a prayer for times of economic hostage-taking.

Teach us to be nimble where we are stiff,
Open where are closed,
and to lean toward love when our hearts are hard. (Rev. Who, September 29)

We can’t afford not to

The Rev. Kristin Grassel Schmidt shuts down the myth that some people “don’t need” health insurance, reminding us that we all need help sometimes, and that we are all in this together.

Insured Americans are already subsidizing the system; they are already paying for coverage they “don’t need” because it’s actually money going to cover other people who thought they “didn’t need” it. . . . This inflation of fees and insurance premiums then makes it all the more difficult for the nation’s poor and working classes to afford insurance. (Wanderingfollower, September 30)

Drawing on personal experience, Jonah Eller-Isaacs urges his fellow young adults to get insured.

i find it best to not dwell on it.

but the sad fact is, it’s more than likely that i could have avoided the agony of living with cancer the last five-plus years had i gone to the doctor when i first noticed the unusual mole on my thigh.

but i didn’t. because i didn’t have health insurance. (groinstrong, October 1)

The Rev. Scott Wells asks if participating in the UUA health plan still provides tangible benefits, and the Rev. Richard Nugent explains why continued enrollment with the UUA plan is the best option for most people.  (Boy in the Bands, October 1, and PNWD News, October 1)

Whine—and be happy

After declaring a “Whining Day” on her Facebook page, the Rev. Dr. Victoria Weinstein celebrates the outpouring of complaint.

You all keep up that whining. Go right ahead. Be my guest. I hope it feels good to get it out somewhere. I hope it feels good to be in such good company. And if anyone tries to make you feel better by saying something like, “Count your blessings!” tell them that every dog needs to put its head back and have a good howl now and then.

And invite them to join you in a nice whine. (PeaceBang, October 2)

Rebecca Hecking suggests an alternative strategy—making a happy list.

Feeling like the world is spinning out of control? Me too.
In response to the current madness,  I offer my personal list (in no particular order) of ten simple things  that make me happy. . . . Make your own list.
It will bring a moment of sanity and peace in a world gone mad. (Breath and Water, October 3)

Faith formation

As his congregation nears its tenth anniversary in their building, the Rev. Dr. Carl Gregg points out the spiritual benefits of stability.

Although I will be the first to admit that some people, communities, and places are more toxic than helpful, there are many good people and places out there. And in our transient, globalized, instant-satisfaction age of designed obsolescence, there is a transformative power of committing to a long time in one good place, among good people—allowing yourself to know and be known. (Pluralism, Pragmatism, Progressivism, October 1)

The Rev. Joseph Santos-Lyons lists some of his spiritual practices related to a sense of place.

One of the rituals I formed as a young adult was to do my best to always consider my physical place and ask about the people who called it their home in the present and past. I always learn something new. Another ethos I developed is around only traveling to places where I have a relationship and invitation. . . . Lastly, I have sought to intentionally be present in places where there have been terrible injustices and great transformations.  (Radicalhapa, September 29)

The Rev. Erik Walker Wikstrom asks, “What if the DRE ran the church?” (A Minister’s Musings, October 3)

Living with open hearts

Evin C. Ziemer responds to a critic who says that Brene Brown’s approach to shame victimizes those already oppressed.

The double tragedy of the shame that we learn when we live with oppression is that the shame weighs us down and disconnects us from ourselves at the same time it disconnects us from others. There may be those who will never connect with us, but there are many people who will, if we can show up wholehearted, vulnerable, and open. (Wholehearted Spirit, September 28)

Theresa Ines Soto illustrates Ziemer’s point with a tale of two bus drivers.

The biggest challenge ableism presents for me is not whether I am included or excluded, or even whether I am judged. The biggest challenge ableism presents is the temptation to shut the doors of my heart and not open them unless the situation seems safe. (Inexplicable Beauty, October 1)

Swimming in Christian waters

The Rev. Dr. David Breeden suggests five options for a non-Christian living in an overwhelmingly Christian country.

I think there are five options: convert, pretend, reinterpret, admit you don’t believe but allow for doubt, resist. (Quest for Meaning, October 3)

Andrew Sullivan posts a response by an unnamed Unitarian Universalist to the question of grieving as an atheist—or, more accurately, providing support to someone who is grieving.

Here’s what you can say: “I hear you.” “I brought you some supper.” “I’ll put it in the refrigerator.” “I’ll help you with the acknowledgement notes” “Yes.” “You’re right.” “Let me give you a hug.” “I know she loved you.” “I know she knew you loved her.” What the bereaved says and the bereaved needs determine what you say, not your religious beliefs. (The Dish, October 1)

There is goodness, right here, in this apartment that I am tidying [...]]]> Endless seconds of good

When the Navy Yard shootings happened too close to home, the Rev. Heather Rion Starr learns a lesson from a Boston Marathon bombing survivor: focus, not on the few seconds of evil, but on the endless seconds of good that follow.

There is goodness, right here, in this apartment that I am tidying up, in the child and parent that are sleeping peacefully in the other room, in the beauty of the fall day that will unfold tomorrow and that has the possibility, still, of being transformative, in a good way, for all of us. (Quest for Meaning, September 20)

Things we lost in the fire

Through the lens of her seminary experience, Jordinn Nelson Long explores what transformation feels like, when it seems like everything will be lost in the fire of change.

Here is my family’s answer: we will hold tight to each other, release everything else, and lean into the flames. We will find out what is fireproof. . . .

We see it coming over the horizon, bright, hot, bigger than we imagined. We do not run.

Instead, we take one more step. We crouch low. We hold hands. (Raising Faith, September 24)

God talk

Judy C. Foster begins a series of posts reviewing Daniel Dennet’s book about religion, Breaking the Spell.

Why does he define religion so narrowly. . . ? [Dennet] seems to propose to subject fundamentalist, literalistic religious belief . . . to an exhaustive scientific study but not the kind of religion that itself takes into account science and rationality or the kind that resists claims of certainty but simply maintains a mindset that is open to exploring the possibility of a supernatural reality . . . or dimension in the universe. (Your Brain on Books, September 26)

Faced with the question of why God doesn’t stop bad things from happening, Roy King suggests that perhaps God has PTSD.

If God were all-powerful, then he could of course, in principle, intervene; if God were empathic, the she would cry over incomprehensible pain and loss. I choose empathy over power; loving awareness over detached principles. A traumatized God is preferable to an indifferent deity, if we are created in the image of the Divine. (Mediterranean Wisdom, September 23)

Sarah MacLeod responds to the question, “If you don’t believe in God or some greater purpose to the universe, how do you find comfort in times of trouble?”

After the speaker worked away at his answer, I turned to my pew mate who had lost her husband to cancer not too long ago. Before I could form the question, she answered, her eyes wide: “If there had been a purpose, that would have been worse!” (Finding My Ground, September 26)

Rebecca Hecking identifies as a “none of the above” because her religious beliefs don’t fit into any easy boxes.

Without a sanctioned holy book to dictate meaning, and without magic-big-daddy (or mama) in the sky, my search for meaning leads me back to my home ground: Earth. With its rhythms and seasons, its diversity and abundance, there is plenty to draw on for inspiration, even for the scientifically minded secularist. (Breath and Water, September 21)

Atheist church

Unitarian Universalist reactions to the Sunday Assembly (the so-called “Atheist Church”) amuse the Rev. Scott Wells.

[The] whiff of impinged ownership I hear from some Unitarian Universalists—that the Assembly should align with us, or that Assembly-goers should go to Unitarian Universalist congregations instead—makes me chuckle. As Unitarian Universalists, I’ve noticed that we lack the capacity to make a grand, new religious expression—Humanist, Christian, Plural, something else—and even create practical and ideological barriers to success, but then get bent out of shape when anyone else does what we could or should be doing. Or simply pretend that the other effort is a clone of what we do (or think we do.) The flourish of theological universalism among Christian Evangelicals comes to mind. (Boy in the Bands, September 24)

The Rev. Tom Schade looks at UU reactions to the Sunday Assembly as mimetic rivalry—“a relationship in which the other party in the relationship is both your rival and your model.”

I’ll be blunt here: I think that our ‘rivals’ succeed when they change lives and equip people to live more connected and responsible lives. I think Unitarian Universalism succeeds and fails on exactly the same grounds.

It is possible that creating a “community of like-minded people” doesn’t help people change, but actually shelters them in a place of resistance to a changing world. . . .

And all of us, the evangelical megachurch, these new Sunday Assemblies and the UU congregation that may be your spiritual home, can easily fall into that temptation. (The Lively Tradition, September 23)

Short bits

Liz James jettisons the seven UU principles on a summer road trip with a seminary colleague. (Rebel with a Label Maker, September 20)

The Rev. Dan Harper provides a responsive reading of a text from Unitarian theologian Charles Hartshorne, calling it “a scientific and theological take on nature, humanity, and freedom.” (Yet Another Unitarian Universalist, September 20)

The Rev. Carl Gregg connects the UU Water Communion service with David Foster Wallace’s Kenyon College commencement address, “This is Water.” (Pluralism, Pragmatism, Progressivism, September 26)

The Rev. Erik Martínez Resly urges, “Don’t stop believing!”

[The] solution must be additive, not subtractive. Instead of banning beliefs, broaden [...]]]> Belief: the enemy of faith?

The UU blogosphere was abuzz this week with reactions to a UU World article written by UUA President Peter Morales, in which he claimed that belief is the enemy of faith.

The Rev. Erik Martínez Resly urges, “Don’t stop believing!”

[The] solution must be additive, not subtractive. Instead of banning beliefs, broaden them. Get curious, and get honest: Why do you hold that belief? How have you struggled with that belief? How does that belief inform the rest of your life? (Rev. Erik, September 16)

Responding to Martinez Resly, the Rev. Tom Schade makes a distinction between beliefs and sects.

I think that he collapsed two different questions: one is whether we are sectarian and anti-sectarian and the other is whether we have a particular UU faith, or are a multi-faith spirituality. The more I thought about this, the more I saw them as a grid, which I offer for all of your exploration.  (The Lively Tradition, September 17)

Kim Hampton points to the words of Sophia Lyon Fahs: “It matters what we believe.”

At some point, my dear UU friends, UUism must stop being a negative religion and actually articulate a positive vision. When will we . . . start to celebrate/encourage belief in the same way that we celebrate/encourage doubt? . . . If doubt is an important companion to faith, why isn’t belief just as an important companion? (East of Midnight, September 17)

The Rev. Dawn Cooley concludes that the conversation is based on a false dichotomy.

Belief and faith are not opposites. They are in tension with one another, though. So if one is not the opposite of another, if one is not the enemy of the other, then where does this tension come from?

I think the answer is humility.  As I understand it, the difference between belief and faith is the level of humility or arrogance with which I hold an idea. (Speaking of, September 19)

Karen Johnston despises frays, but feels compelled to enter this one—embracing both sides.

Morales calls UUs to pivot and respond, using our “faith beyond belief” to play a historic role in “a new interfaith, multifaith spirituality [that] is struggling to be born.”  He is right to some degree—I do believe we, in the creative tension we have intentionally encountered in making home for theists and non-theists alike, we have something important to contribute. . . .

And in heeding the advice of Martinez-Resly to be additive, rather than subtractive, I encourage us to think beyond words/conceptions like inter- or multi-faith, since this impulse is trans-(scending)faith. (irrevspeckay, September 19)

The Rev. Dr. Victoria Weinstein comments indirectly on the topic, recounting her history as someone whose beliefs and practices do not fit into neat little boxes, and noting how common this has become.

[Syncretism isn’t] weird any more. It’s quite ordinary, and many mainline Christian churches I have attended in the past decade would not think twice before incorporating elements of this ritual into their liturgy.  Some call that heresy; I call it progress. (PeaceBang, September 19)

Human connections

The Rev. Evin Carvill-Ziemer confesses that being neighborly is harder than it sounds.

I don’t really think calling the police is the answer, but I’m not doing so well on my own. So if you start seeing signs on my street like “Slow the f*ck down!” or “If you’re older than 12, ride your bike on the d*mn street” or in a few months “Shovel your sidewalk like a grownup!” blame me. I’m still trying to figure out how to be a good neighbor. (Wholehearted Spirit, September 13)

For new parent Christine Slocum, her daughter gives her a different perspective on the world’s news.

It seems that bravery is an under-discussed skill of parenting. I do not mean the sort of bravery that is featured in newspapers when feats of great valor are committed. I mean a banal bravery that requires claiming peace when the most precious facet of your life coexists with a very dangerous world. (Christine Slocum, September 14)

As she walks on the beach, Sarah MacLeod finds a metaphor in the beach grass that holds down the dunes.

During the too-many years of the disintegration of my marriage and changes on their other home front, the sands shifted, and my children needed overt stabilization from me.

I realized I was their beach grass. I did it overtly, keeping existing routines in place and creating new ones for our changed family. I did it silently, sleeping next to children weary of change. And like the beach grass, when I, too, was covered in sand and sorrow, three feet under, I survived, and so did they. (Finding My Ground, September 18)

Courageous congregations

The Rev. David Owen-O’Quill reviews a new book by Michael Durall.

The book paints a compelling choice that congregations encounter in the search process. The choice is between finding someone who “fits” the congregational culture as it has been versus choosing the minister that can lead the church into the future. I would agree with Durall’s analysis that for most established churches this tension between the comfort of what is, even if it’s apparent that it’s not working, and the choice to step boldly into a visionary future paralyzes most congregations. (News from the Underground, September 19)

The Rev. Dan Harper weighs the price and pleasure of being a growing congregation.

Kids are happier and think our congregation is more fun; that alone would be worth it. Parents and guardians are happier because their kids are happier. From my point of view, then, as someone who cares about kids and families with kids, as someone who thinks that one of the primary functions of a congregation is to help raise up the next generation—yes, growth is totally worth the inconvenience. (Yet Another Unitarian Universalist, September 16)

The Rev. Joanna Fontaine Crawford writes that a church with heart “does not have a mission, a mission has [the] church.”

Mission takes you on adventure, and adventure is wild and joyous and thrilling, but the one thing adventure is not is “comfortable.” Mission shoves us out of our comfort zone because there’s something bigger, another place we need to get to, and Mission understands that life will be better for all of us once we get there, so just hang on to your hat and enjoy the ride. (Boots and Blessings, September 16)