The Meaning Difference

Patrick Swayze and the Meaning of Life's Moments

"Whom the gods love, dies young," wrote the Greek playwright, Menander

After waging a courageous, year-and-a-half-long battle with pancreatic cancer, Patrick Swayze, an actor and classically-trained dancer whose leading roles in the blockbuster films Dirty Dancing and Ghost made him a popular movie star, died on Monday, September 14th. He was only 57 years old. "I'm proud of what I'm doing," Swayze told the New York Times last October when he was still filming The Beast, an A&E television series in which he starred as an unorthodox FBI agent. "How do you nurture a positive attitude when all the statistics say you're a dead man? You go to work."

Now how's that for inspiration? And Swayze's words and actions throughout his very personal and, unfortunately, sometimes very public ordeal also demonstrate and underscore that, in all situations, no matter how desperate they may appear or actually be, you always have the ultimate freedom to choose your attitude. This is a core principle of Viktor Frankl's System of Logotherapy, a meaning-centered approach to healing, health, and wellness, and is the first principle that I introduce in my book, Prisoners of Our Thoughts.

I have always admired Patrick Swayze, both as an actor and as a person. In addition, I've felt a kinship with him for many years because we both shared a passion for horses and for the martial arts. Interestingly enough, Swayze and his wife of more than 30 years, Lisa, own a ranch and lived part time not too far from my home in Santa Fe, New Mexico. It is here, in the Land of Enchantment, where Swayze came when he wanted to get some true peace and quiet. "I fell in love with New Mexico when I was shooting Red Dawn," he told Variety magazine. "It's my healing place." The Swayzes even renewed their wedding vows at their New Mexico ranch in May 2008. This precious "meaning moment," I should add, took place in the midst of their campaign to overcome the deadly disease that was attacking Patrick's body.

Of course, we all know people, often people who are very close to us, who have passed on. We may even have experienced the death of loved ones who have also battled against terminal illnesses, like pancreatic cancer, for which no cure yet exists. And, if we are so fortunate, we may know people who, like Patrick Swayze, were inspirations and role models for us in ways that are not always easy to describe. In spite of the personal hardships and formidable challenges that they faced in life, these people, in no uncertain terms, represent human beings at their best, even if the human condition that they experienced was at its worst. Plagued by inescapable forces that robbed them of their physical strength and well-being, we bear witness to the resiliency and unlimited power of the human mind and spirit. We breathe, therefore we are spiritual; life is, therefore it is meaningful.

For those of you who have read my contributions before, you know that they are grounded firmly in the philosophy and approach of the world-renowned psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, author of the classic bestseller Man's Search for Meaning, as well as the meaning-centered principles introduced in my book, Prisoners of Our Thoughts.

To honor Patrick Swayze's life and legacy, as well as the other inspirational role models who have left us more enriched by their presence, I would like here to introduce you to and/or remind you of a meaning-centered principle that requires your immediate attention from this day forward: "Detect the Meaning of Life's Moments." Said differently in Chapter 6 of my book, only you can answer for your own life by detecting the meaning at any given moment and assuming responsibility for weaving your unique tapestry of existence.

In actuality, we don't really "create" meaning, we find it. And we can't find it if we don't look for it. Meaning comes to us in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes it looms big in our lives (like when we are diagnosed with a terminal disease as did Patrick Swayze); sometimes it slips in almost unobserved (like when we are greeted at home by a spouse or child after work). Sometimes we miss a meaningful moment entirely until days, months, or even years go by and then suddenly something that once seemed insignificant becomes a pivotal, life-changing moment. Sometimes, too, it is the collective meaning of many moments that finally catches our mind's eye; as if we weave together a living quilt from patches of moments that, by themselves, would have passed us by unnoticed.

And although we are not always aware of it, meaning, as Dr. Frankl would say, is in every present moment. It goes without saying- - wherever we go. All we have to do, in our daily life and at work, is to wake up to meaning and take notice. And, importantly, we don't have to wait until we face death in the eye to wake up to meaning and take notice (however, often it takes becoming conscious of our own mortality before we recognize this important fact of life!).

I am convinced that, in the final analysis, there is no situation that does not contain within it the seed of a meaning...Life retains its meaning under any conditions. It remains meaningful literally up to its last moment, up to one's last breath.--Viktor Frankl

It has been said that it is more important to be aware than it is to be smart. To be aware is to know meaning. Importantly, by reflecting upon our existence and seeking to detect the meaning of life's moments, we also create opportunities to draft our life's legacy, albeit as a work in progress, before it is our time to die and experience what Socrates said "may be the greatest of all human blessings." And thank you, Patrick, for being such an inspiration and role model for all of us. You will be missed but never forgotten.

Meaningfully,
Alex

Alex Pattakos, Ph.D.
author, Prisoners of Our Thoughts
founder, Center for Meaning
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Adapted and reprinted from Alex Pattakos, Huffington Post

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No One Left Behind: Searching for Meaning in Education

“The beginning of every government starts with the education of our youth,” Pythagoras, the Greek philosopher and mathematician, advises us.

The official end of summer is nearing and with it comes the beginning of the new school year. Back to school sales are a familiar sight and last minute family outings try to hold on to time quickly passing by. Whether anyone likes it or not, it’s time to get back to the books, parent-teacher conferences, academic standards, career planning, extracurricular activities, and, hopefully, the joy of learning (as well as an uneventful flu season)!

Yet with all of the attention being paid to the health care reform, or as some would prefer to call it, the “health insurance,” debate, there does not appear to be much concern about reforming another massive human service system that also isn’t working as well as it should. I’m talking about education reform. And one would think, along the lines suggested by Pythagoras, that a focus on improving the quality of education in America, along with an investment in “educating” the public about the fundamental importance of education in creating and sustaining a democratic society, would be no-brainers. Unfortunately, I’m afraid that we have not yet realized-and perhaps do not fully understand-the true meaning and implications of Pythagoras’s profound words.

Last year, I contributed an essay to a book with the powerful and provocative title, Responsibility 911: With Great Liberty Comes Great Responsibility. Importantly, the 56 authors in this anthology make a strong and diversified case for the role that responsibility plays in a free society. The contributors, moreover, represent the gamut of political perspectives, as well as come from the diverse worlds of business, government, and nonprofits, including religion and education. Besides my chapter, for example, this book includes contributions from the likes of George W. Bush, Jack Canfield, Howard Gardner, George McGovern, Barack Obama, John McCain, Pope John Paul II, Ross Perot, Tom Peters, Christopher Reeve, Anita Roddick, Norman Schwartzkopf, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Desmond Tutu, and Oprah Winfrey. You get the picture! The issue of personal (and collective) responsibility is examined from multiple, diverse points of view.

Let me suggest now that the ideals of education reform are closely tied to the responsibility issue. Moreover, unlike the debate surrounding health care, which is treated, more often than not, strictly as a matter of “entitlement,” the aims of education can never be achieved without personal responsibility on the parts of students/learners, parents, teachers, and other involved stakeholders, in addition to the collective responsibility of families, local/state jurisdictions, and other levels of community and society. To be sure, there are also elements of personal responsibility at work in the health care arena, such as those that require “preventive” action to reduce health care costs and counteract the illnesses, diseases, and accidents that require primary care intervention. This said, in a “managed care” and “disease management” culture, health care in America still is based more on a “take care of me,” sickness, entitlement model than it is one based on the notion of personal responsibility for health and wellness.

In the education arena, a “teach me,” ignorance, entitlement model has less chance of observable or sustainable success without a measurable dose of responsibility by those seeking access to and services from the “system.” In other words, while you, as a patient, don’t necessarily have to be “engaged” with health care service providers in order to achieve the benefits that they offer, you, as a student (or parent), do need to be engaged with education service providers, especially teachers, in order to achieve the benefits that they offer. The education process, in the final analysis, is a two-way street. Minus some kind of brain implant like those depicted in science fiction, which is probably something that we would not want to see become reality, the true benefits of education derive as the “return on investment” that is made in yourself and in your future. And this kind of “ROI” can only occur when you become fully engaged and demonstrate that you are responsible for the investment.

I’ve had the good fortune of sharing my meaning-centered message with public school systems and other educational entities and speaking at conferences where the pursuit of excellence in education was the primary theme. For example, I’ve keynoted the National Quality Education Conference in the USA, as well as addressed some 10,000 teachers in Canada. Most recently, I had the opportunity to be the convocation keynote speaker and conduct in-service training for teachers and administrators representing an independent school district in Texas. Importantly, the topic of my engagement with the local school district was “Meaningful Improvement: Engaging Minds, Achieving Results.” In other words, education “reform,” to be truly effective and sustainable, needs to be both meaningful and engaging. And the power of full engagement, in all of life’s pursuits, stems from the search for meaning, which is the primary, intrinsic motivation of human beings. This basic tenet, moreover, applies to everyone involved in the educational process-students, parents, teachers, administrators, and the community-at-large.

No person can be left behind if we really expect to see meaningful improvement in our education “system,” broadly-defined, become a reality.

Meaningfully,
Alex

Alex Pattakos, Ph.D.
author, Prisoners of Our Thoughts
founder, Center for Meaning
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Adapted and reprinted from Alex Pattakos, Huffington Post

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The Lost Feminine

The subject of this post surfaced during my most recent visit to Crete at the end of last month. As a Greek-American of Cretan heritage, who has been actively engaged in the process of reconnecting with my roots, I found the standing and role of women in Greek culture and society, both in their religious and secular senses, to be a very meaningful topic; one that deserves serious attention. And I would even go so far as to suggest that it is time to rediscover what has been called the"Lost Feminine" in so-called modern civilization by looking deeply into the ancient, and uniquely Greek-Cretan, past through a meaning-centered lens.

In this connection, I'm referring explicitly to the Minoan civilization, a culture that arose and flourished on the island of Crete from approximately 3650 to 1450 BC. This Bronze Age civilization was later destroyed by natural and man-made forces that are still under debate, and its remains, for better or worse, were replaced or dominated by Mycenaean Greek culture. Rediscovered at the beginning of the 20th Century, most notably through the work of the British archaeologist, Sir Arthur Evans, Minoan Crete took its historic place, as Will Durant said in 1939, as "the first link in the European chain."

It's hard to imagine anyone who has visited Crete who doesn't know about or who hasn't visited Knossos (Κνωσóς), the archaeological site deemed to be the epicenter of the Minoan civilization and culture. And is there anyone who does not believe that the Palace at Knossos is the source of the myth of the Labyrinth, an elaborate maze-like structure constructed for King Minos of Crete and designed by the legendary artificer Daedalus to hold the Minotaur, a half-man/half-bull creature that was eventually killed by the Athenian hero, Theseus?

However, this is not the part of Minoan (pre)history or mythology that served as a catalyst for this particular post. Nor is it the cultural attribute that best describes the centerpiece influence of women on all aspects of life and living at the time the Minoan civilization flourished. In his well-researched book, In Search of the Lost Feminine: Decoding the Myths that Radically Reshaped Civilization, Craig Barnes, who also happens to live in my hometown of Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA, challenges the inevitability of our commonly-held notion of patriarchy by examining the mystery of the Minoan civilization, traces the collapse of the Minoan world, and describes the emergence of the "warrior" civilization and its implications for surviving in the "postmodern" era.

According to Barnes, the story of Western civilization has been told for some thirty-five hundred years with a "political slant" that worked for the cause of the victors of the Trojan War. This particular story, he argues, effectively shortchanged human nature and disparaged our deepest instincts toward peace-making and reconciliation, as well as toward nurturing and the cycles of the season. In contrast to the uncivil forces (i.e., the suppression of "civil" in civilization) and oftentimes brutal results of patriarchy, Barnes underscores that the alternative values glorified by the Minoan civilization, what he refers to as the "inner feminine" aspect of human nature, have always provided a light of hope into the patriarchal world and illuminated, as well as elevated, the human spirit across the ages and especially throughout Western history.

The foundations of Western civilization, moreover, can be found in the myths, ancient stories, artifacts, and encoded messages left after the decline and subsequent disappearance of Minoan culture. Indeed, over the last one hundred years a great deal of new information about the Minoans and their way of life has been unearthed (both literally and figuratively). As a result, we now know that the status of women was vastly different before the emergence of patriarchy and the mythical storytelling that was used to support, rationalize, and justify its dominance as the guiding paradigm for "civilization." Women in the Minoan era were portrayed as benign rather than dangerous, the latter being a presumed characteristic that has plagued humankind to the present day. Moreover, in what has been called a women-centered, egalitarian, and peaceful society, the "ancient" Minoans, as further proof of their matriarchal mindset, were also conscious of a need to worship the goddess within (or feminine mystique), along with the goddesses who symbolized a very different cultural orientation than, rightly or wrongly, we hold in the contemporary era.

And, remember, this societal and cultural view manifested itself well before--literally several millennia before--the feminist "movement" surfaced in the USA and abroad. Just think for a moment, by way of example, how far it pre-dates feminist author and activist Gloria Steinem, who became a leader of the women's rights movement throughout the 1960s and 1970s AD! Whatever your political, social, religious, faith-based, or cultural persuasion, and whether or not you agree with Mr. Barnes's assessment of the Minoan worldview and how it effectively challenges the inevitability of patriarchy, you have to wonder (at least I do) what human history would have looked like if the "feminine" as espoused by Minoan culture had not been lost. One giant step forward, how many steps backward?

Meaningfully,
Alex

Alex Pattakos, Ph.D.
author, Prisoners of Our Thoughts
founder, Center for Meaning
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Adapted and reprinted from Alex Pattakos, Huffington Post

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Swine Flu and the Paradox of Intention

I recently returned from Greece and while I was abroad, I learned about the "Swine Flu," also known as the H1N1 virus, which emerged in Mexico and began spreading to other countries. On my way back to the United States, the concern about this unpredictable virus and whether it would become a pandemic, was evident at the Washington Dulles Airport, which was the first place where I observed passengers wearing face masks for fear of contracting the virus. When I returned to my hometown of Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA (not to be confused with "Old" Mexico) I even saw a woman wearing such a mask while driving her car!

Alright, I'm all for being taking precautions and being hyper-vigilant whenever a potentially dangerous situation arises. I remember well the SARS epidemic in 2003 which killed more than 800 people around the world. And I know that the World Health Organization hiked its alert level to 5 from 3 -- the last step before a pandemic -- due to the flu's spread and the threat that it could target poor and disease-prone communities. At the same time, I would not go as far as Vice President Joe Biden who raised the alarm even further by recommending, albeit by implication, that people not fly or ride public transportation!

To be sure, this is a time for being attentive and for remaining on our guard. Likewise, it is a time for common sense. As scientists are still trying to assess this new virus and develop a vaccine for it, we also must recognize that "regular" seasonal flu strains kill between 250,000 and 500,000 people around the world every year. In the U.S. alone, to put the new "crisis" in context, about 36,000 people die every year from flu-related causes. And U.S. health officials are cautiously optimistic that this new swine flu isn't as dangerous, relatively-speaking, as first feared, while recognizing of course that commonsense precautions are still necessary.

Let me underscore that it is important and reasonable to be hyper-vigilant as this complex human drama continues to unfold. At the same time, I'm reminded of the dangers that lurk behind the watchful eye of the beholder. Remember the period immediately after the attacks of September 11, 2001, when we were also called upon to be hyper-vigilant? Good intentions aside, because we were afraid of "terrorists" and were on high alert, in our mind's eye we increased the likelihood of "seeing" suspected terrorists even if they were innocent people who just happened to fit a predetermined "profile!"

The Paradox of Intention
This behavioral phenomenon, which is closely related to hyper-vigilance, can effectively lead to working against ourselves. In my book, Prisoners of Our Thoughts, I describe this meaning-focused principle as "paradoxical intention," that is, we become so obsessed with or fixated on an intent or outcome that we actually work against the desired result. In the case of post-9/11 terrorism, we became obsessed with or fixated on finding terrorists, and guess what? We began to "see" potential terrorists everywhere we went! Now, in the case of the swine flu, many of us have become obsessed with or fixated on the symptoms of the disease, and guess what? We begin to observe in others or manifest in ourselves these symptoms whether they/we actually have the flu or not! Consider the case of Mexico having to charter a plane to bring home 70 of its citizens from China who were seized at the airport and quarantined, declaring that the swine flu epidemic was no reason for "repressive and discriminatory measures." Hyper-vigilance or over-reaction, you decide.

Paradoxical intention, in this regard, involves two other "hyper" behaviors that, again, are related to being hyper-vigilant. One is called "hyper-intention," that is, the obsession with or fixation on a result or outcome. Put differently, the end justifies the means, since we are intent on achieving our aim no matter what (even if it is unrealistic, improbable, or not even necessary). And the other is called "hyper-reflection," that is, the obsession with or fixation on "seeing" something in ourselves or in others. Isn't it amazing how frequently we "see" things that we are intent on seeing even if those things are not really there? You know, our mind has a funny way of playing tricks on us when we allow it. Paradoxically, in combination the dual forces of hyper-intention and hyper-reflection serve to work against even our best intentions. In other words, we actually work against ourselves and, as a result, may exacerbate the situation at hand rather than resolve it!

The Antidote
What is the antidote, you ask? Let me suggest first that you try to let go and lighten up about the situation you are facing -- be it concern about the swine flu or anything else in your personal or work life. This will help you temper your need for hyper-vigilance and put the situation into a more reasonable and workable context. In turn, this shift in attitude and perspective will help you avoid the human tendency to "hyper-intend" and "hyper-reflect" (and for some, even to "hyper-ventilate!") when dealing with crisis situations. Trust me, I have used this advice many times in my own life, as well as have observed it work effectively in the lives of others. Without hesitation, I can assure you that it helps. In the final analysis, it is also more than simply "hype!"

Meaningfully,
Alex

Alex Pattakos, Ph.D.
author, Prisoners of Our Thoughts
founder, Center for Meaning
Learn more

Adapted and reprinted from Alex Pattakos, Huffington Post

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Adapted and reprinted from Alex Pattakos on Huffington Post

LOVE IS THE ULTIMATE AND HIGHEST GOAL

This seems a timely topic to revisit.

"Love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire....The salvation of man is through love and in love. I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the comtemplation of his beloved." Dr. Viktor Frankl wrote these words in his classic bestseller, Man's Search for Meaning, a book that was first published in German in 1946 under the title, Ein Psycholog erlebt das Konzentrationslager (From Death-Camp to Existentialism). For good reason, Man's Search for Meaning remains one of the most important books of modern times (the Library of Congress named it one of the ten most influential books in America). Indeed, Frankl's personal story of finding a reason to live in the most horrendous of circumstances--Nazi concentration camps--has inspired millions.

So, it is against this personal backdrop that Dr. Frankl's quote about love must be considered. And considered very seriously. You see, although Dr. Frankl was blessed with surviving his horrific ordeal in four different Nazi death camps, including Auschwitz, his mother, father, wife, and brother were not so fortunate. And even though he had been stripped of everything, down--literally--to the bare bones of his humanity, Viktor Frankl experienced moments of bliss, especially when he thought of his beloved--his wife, his parents, his brother, and others who were dear to him. In no uncertain terms, Frankl learned unequivocally that love was his salvation and that, among all of the values that offered him a source of personal meaning, it was love that proved to be the "ultimate and highest goal to which he could aspire."

I would like all of us to reflect seriously upon the above passage from Man's Search for Meaning, along with Dr. Frankl's personal, love-affirming experience--today, tomorrow, and forever.

There are two online self-learning exhibits at the Global Dialogue Center that help to bring Viktor Frankl ideas to life:

Viktor Frankl: The Man, His Message, His Principles
at the Knowledge Gallery. Also be sure to watch the excerpt from
Joel Barker's Power of Vision video filmed in Auschwitz.
Light in the Dark: A Tribute to Viktor Frankl
with a poem by Sara Robinson

Consider these questions...
What do you think about Viktor Frankl insight? How does it make you feel?
How and in what ways are you bringing and weaving love into your life? Into your work?

Why not make now the time to affirm too that "love is the ultimate and highest goal" to which we all can aspire?! For more information about this topic, and to learn how it relates to the Will to Meaning, see Chapter 5, "Realize Your Will to Meaning," in my book, Prisoners of Our Thoughts: Viktor Frankl's Principles for Discovering Meaning in Life and Work. And, of course, let me know--either through this blog or directly--if you have any questions or comments!

Meaningfully,
Alex

Alex Pattakos, Ph.D.
author, Prisoners of Our Thoughts
founder, Center for Meaning
Learn more

NEWEST EDITIONS: Prisoners of Our Thoughts
New edition of Prisoners of Our Thoughts in paperback, Audiobook CD, and digital download formats! Learn more

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