One for the Road!

This blog post that is! :p

One fine day, my dad showed be a cheque of 20k plus and said we are buying you a two-wheeler!! It just came out of the blue like a blot of lightning. I was super excited and at the same time worried. I mean I could hardly ride a bicycle, how could I zoom on a bike?!

Now don't laugh at what I tell you next. I took lessons to learn a two-wheeler. Like a driving school it was a riding school in Pune. I was a part of a crowd which mainly had middle aged aunties tried to get their groove back. I actually learnt to ride a luna on a huge ground and came out unscathed. With my brilliant sense of direction there were always adventures once they let me loose on the road, but with my "Have tongue, Will ask" attitude, I managed to get back on the ground safe! :p

Then we went to buy the "Scooty". It was among the first targeted to women gearless two-wheelers after Kinetic Honda which was still lot heavier and difficult to manage. I picked a navy blue one and dad rode it back with me a pillion rider. The day arrived for me to take my bike alone till Bandra, a good 10kms plus, for my french classes. My mom was worried and even dad wasn't in town. Going weak in knees took different meaning when I went down the steps that day. AS i kick-started the bike and moved ahead tentatively and before I knew i was ZOOOMMIINNGG along.

I have loved the heady feeling of freedom on my bike since then. I love the way you can conquer the roads, the way you can go from one place to another on your own time, how i don't have to depend on horrid auto guys to get home and the adrenalin rush I get occasionally when I overtake a bus perhaps.

Smita wrote this very cool post about her two-wheelers fundas which covers almost everything i could have said. What I want to write about is "species" of people you come across while on the road. These are the people who make me go raving mad and cursing in the most unladylike fashion as I go to and fro work now on M's beloved Dio which incidentally is waayyy better than my Scooty.

High beam Hooligans - These are the WORST of the lot. In Bombay we used to hardly come across cars that drove with high beam. But in Bangalore, it's like a disease. How can someone who drives him/herself NOT understand that they are BLINDING the opposite person for those few seconds. It's scary how you cannot see ANYTHING when someone is flashing lights in your eyes. I go nuts trying to make sure that I am not hitting any human being who is crossing like a headless chicken while the idiot coming from opposite side thinks HE is getting better visibility with his beloved high beam!

Anarchist Autos - If I ever suffer from high blood pressure in young age this species is to blame. As if it not enough that they drive me up the wall with their refusal to go just about anywhere and tampered meters charging atrocious amounts of money, to suffer their rash driving day in and day out is unbearable. They refuse to maintain a lane and even worse insist on driving in the middle of the road with their 10km/hr speed not letting faster vehicles move past them. Worst is when they are doing this while cruising LOOKING for a fare which they will anyway refuse.

Mobile Monsters - Mobile phones are hardly a status symbol in this day and age. So, WHY do we insist on showing it off and talking on it even while riding / driving. How difficult is it to realise that it's terribly dangerous?! That you cannot be holding phone with one hand and steering / handle with another. I have seen so often people even smsing while driving! WTF! That you are talking with handsfree i can still understand, but most don't even seem to use that. These are the people who don't even realise how randomly they are driving because they are concentrating elsewhere.

Sufferers of SSS - The full form would be Sudden Slowdown Syndrome. These are the people who are cruising comfortably at a regular speed everyone seems to be and then well... they suddenly slow down. No rhyme or reason. The best part is they are completely unaware about the chaos created by them due to this unfathomable action. They are usually at their irritating best when they manage to cross the signal with 10secs to go and people behind are struggling to cross the orange light! Aaarrgghhhh!!

The Ferrari Syndrome - These are the people who think they are participating in a Grand-Prix at Monaco. They honk and keep weaving in and out of the traffic in such a dangerous fashion, that I often tell M and myself, "Jaane do! Isse lagta yeh chaand pe pohonch jaayega aur thoda fast jaayega toh!"

Horny Devils- How does honking LOUDLY and incessantly help? I am guilty of this at times, but it's only when someone is going too slow / overtaking me from the wrong side. How will few seconds of staying silent and keeping that impatient hand away from the horn delay you by hours?! We are not crazy to wait at the signal when it's turned green. When it is a line of vehicles, they will take some time to move!

Spineless Police - Most of these things won't be such a big problem if police had SOME authority in this city. It's ridiculous to see policemen manning a signal and asking people to stop and at least 10 cars whizzing past before he can actually get semblance of order. No wonder most signals are worse off when being "managed" by police. People have absolutely NO fear. The only thing they diligently do is catch riders without helmet and generally keep harassing two wheeler guys without rhyme or reason. Of cos, since helmet is the only reason you get fined for, thankfully 95% people are wearing helmets!! So, good going there!

There are many more peeves which you face when you are pretending to rule the road, but the post is already too long. I can't stop without telling girl with pretty hair and great skin to please tie her hair and a scarf if possible for long term wellness. To the hunk (??) riding without helmet that you will NOT get noticed while zooming past on your bike. Even if they do, it will be just to say "Look at that idiot riding without helmet!" The guy who muffles his silencer to make that horrific sound such bikes do, Grow up, Dude! That noise is just about the UNCOOLEST thing ever. To the uncle who opens the door of his expensive Octavia to spit I can just say EWWWWWW! Money really cannot buy class.

What's your traffic story?!

And the week ends on another happy note! One more person in the ENTIRE blogosphere thinks I am Brilliant. Thank You Snippets & Scribbles. It means a lot to me. The rules are there to read on the previous post. Since I get another chance to pass on this award I am very kicked! And the award goes to;

Puja - she rarely writes long rambling posts, but those few lines pack a punch and make you think.

Gauri - The tiny-tidbits of her life never leave me without a smile or a thought.

Maami - Her words to put it in one word are Magical. Witty and sensitive. I just love reading her blog.

Dee - No use of fancy words. This woman writes with her heart!

Toon Factory - this dude's passion for Cinema is obvious. He walks, talks, sleeps and thinks movies. A veritable encyclopedia of Bollywood! :D

Couch Papaya - I used to think I read enough, till I came across this woman. Read her reviews to know whats readable and what can be just dumped without a second glance.

Suma - I WISH I could be that sensible and level headed. Though I have just started reading her blog, i totally love it.

Sue - This one thinks a lot and deep and then expresses it so well. Honest, thoughful and thoughtprovoking.

Spread the cheer people!! Have a super weekend!