Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast

DQYDJ Ep 235: You're The Yoko Ono Of DQYDJ!

Wed, 15 Mar 2017 02:05:10 +0000

Welcome to episode 235 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie discusses her new book and chatting on Twitter with charming actors from Westworld, Patrick waxes rhapsodic about his upcoming visit to New York, and Nathan is budy working on his new play. Did we mention this is the last episode of DQYDJ? This is the last episode of DQYDJ. We love you all!

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DQYDJ Ep 234: Don't You DARE Take Carrie Fisher, 2016!

Sat, 24 Dec 2016 01:07:35 +0000

Welcome to episode 234 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie threatens to hunt down 2016 if it even breathes wrong near Carrie Fisher, Patrick and Nathan are out sick with sinus infections, and Jerry is busy recording videos for work. You know what that means--A LITERARY SHOW! So we have the lovely and talented L.D. Blakeley and Epilonious on hand to discuss being big in France, Two Thrones fanfic, and why men who take their clothes off in the name of Art are blessings to hardworking writers everywhere.

L.D's holiday romance The Power of Peppermint

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DQYDJ Ep 233: All I Want For Christmas Is HRT

Sun, 18 Dec 2016 23:13:05 +0000

Feliz navidad and welcome to episode 233 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie details the joys of perimenopause brain, Patrick is NOT in the mood for holiday hijinks, and Nathan plans what he's going to say to Bette Midler next year in New York.

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DQYDJ Special Ep 7: We Love You, Joe In Philly!

Thu, 01 Dec 2016 03:52:42 +0000

Welcome to special episode 7 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Fairy Princess Holly from We're Mean Because You're Stupid and Matty Malone create a special crossover event with Melanie to talk about our favorite sportsball fanatic, Joe in Philly!

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DQYDJ Ep 232: Don't Call It A Comeback

Sat, 02 Jul 2016 23:42:06 +0000

Welcome to episode 232 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where the boys are once again unavailable, and it's a Fourth of July miracle with Jerry, Patrick, Nathan, AND Melanie! Whee!

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DQYDJ Ep 231: It's Not Supposed To Snow In May, Dammit!

Sat, 02 Jul 2016 23:25:04 +0000

Welcome to episode 231 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where the boys are once again unavailable, and Melanie calls upon guest hosts L.D. Blakeley and Epilonious to fill in once again -- woohoo!

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DQYDJ Ep 230: Wait, We Have A Podcast?

Wed, 13 Jan 2016 06:35:49 +0000

Welcome to episode 230 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where we ring in 2016 by talking about sex and publishing, and Melanie calls upon guest host Epilonious to keep the show moving.

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DQYDJ Ep 229: Bringing The Payne

Thu, 08 Oct 2015 02:19:50 +0000

Welcome to episode 229 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick and Nathan are in Deisneyworld celebrating their honeymoon, Jerry is somewhere in Boston, and Melanie calls upon guest hosts L.D. Blakeley and Epilonious to fill in once again -- yay!

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DQYDJ Ep 228: Gauche Coke Fiends

Tue, 22 Sep 2015 04:09:35 +0000

Welcome to episode 228 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick and Nathan are still off moving Nana's Naughty Knickers to its new temporary home, Jerry is a busy man, and Melanie calls upon guest hosts L.D. Blakeley and Epilonious to fill in and discuss writing challenges, homophobia in 2015, and why gambling is fun.

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NANA'S NAUGHTY KNICKERS

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
Best Western Ashland House & Conference Center 201 E. Ashland Ave. Morton, IL 61550
(309) 965-2545
10/8/2015 to 11/1/2015

DQYDJ Ep 227: Smiling White Women Eating Salad

Tue, 15 Sep 2015 04:31:36 +0000

Welcome to episode 227 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick and Nathan are off helping to move Nana's Naughty Knickers off to its new temporary home, Jerry is too old to stay up late, and Melanie is left on her own. Or is she? Please welcome guest hosts L.D. Blakeley and Epilonious, who may well be filling in for the rest of September and part of October, or until the Barn is back up to speed, whatever happens first.

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DQYDJ Ep 226: Hey Baby, I Think I'm Gonna Marry You!

Sat, 05 Sep 2015 04:00:21 +0000

Welcome to episode 226 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie follows Patrick and Nathan on their wedding day! Includes the hilarious and heartwarming wedding ceremony conducted by the Vicar of Plano herself, with Jerry and Stacy in the audience! Congratulations, you crazy kids!

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DQYDJ Ep 225: We're The Gays, We Break The Rules

Thu, 20 Aug 2015 21:12:45 +0000

Welcome to episode 225 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick pimps for Disney Gift Cards (gotta pay off that honeymoon somehow), Nathan is FINE, he tells you, FINE, and Melanie just goes along for the ride.

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DQYDJ Ep 224: Five Hydrangeas Short

Thu, 20 Aug 2015 18:45:51 +0000

Welcome to episode 224 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie apologizes for the fact that she sounds like a robot and wants you all to go buy her new book DEEP WATER (written as Nicola Cameron) because it's dedicated to Nathan and Patrick. Meanwhile, Groomzilla is making centerpieces and threatening Ebay sellers with retribution for shorting him on hydrangeas, and Broomzilla is wondering why Groomzilla has to mention that he got wedding stuff at the Dollar Store.

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DQYDJ Ep 223: Our Colors Are Blush And Bashful

Thu, 20 Aug 2015 04:23:13 +0000

Welcome to episode 223 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick talks ALL about the wedding plans and makes it clear that he doesn't wear leather, Nathan tries to get a word in edgewise, and Melanie still thinks that creamy coleslaw goes just fine with pulled pork.

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DQYDJ Ep 222: Nifty Shit

Tue, 04 Aug 2015 02:27:49 +0000

Welcome to episode 222 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie is joined by Jerry and the peripatetic L.D. Blakeley once again to talk more about writing, Alexa, and other nifty shit.

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DQYDJ Ep 221: A Pretty, Pretty Smut Princess

Wed, 03 Jun 2015 02:08:07 +0000

Welcome to episode 221 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie is the only one available to record. So she invited L.D. Blakeley on to talk about smut writing, wine, and why Mads Mikkelsen is so creepy hot on Hannibal (we decided it was his eyebrows).

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DQYDJ Ep 220: Idea Seeds

Mon, 25 May 2015 07:38:46 +0000

Welcome to episode 220 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry is plowing through his trilogy, Melanie partied with romance cover models, and Patrick and Nathan are busy rehearsing.

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DQYDJ Ep 219: Filter Out The Crazy

Mon, 11 May 2015 01:22:49 +0000

Welcome to episode 219 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Pat is blowing up his eggs, Jerry regales us with a tale of Teh Crazy, and Melanie is making weird ice cream.

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DQYDJ Ep 218: We Are All Stars

Tue, 05 May 2015 19:41:56 +0000

Welcome to episode 218 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" Melanie is being wrapped in duct tape, Pat gets pulled over, and Jerry is making sure that the podcast is on all the hot new devices, bless him!

We have voicemail!
Epilonious
Drum Major Kev

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DQYDJ Ep 217: Feed Melanie's Pussy

Wed, 22 Apr 2015 03:33:38 +0000

Welcome to episode 217 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" Yes, we're back, bitches! Well, some of us are -- Patrick and Nathan are off rehearsing/auditioning, so Melanie talks about life lessons from RuPaul's Drag Race, Jerry gets a new cylindrical friend named Alexa, and special writing guest L.D. Blakeley joins us to talk about writing smut and making pretties. Whee!

Topics from the show:
RuPaul's Drag Race
LaTrice Royale
L.D. Blakeley
Weezie World
Amazon Echo

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DQYDJ Ep 216: Just The Tip

Fri, 10 Oct 2014 23:38:45 +0000

Welcome to episode 216 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where we mourn the demise of Saturday morning cartoons, discuss which sideshow performers from American Horror Story: Freak Show we want to sleep with, and Patrick explains how he cut the tip of his finger off. Good times!

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DQ Rick
Satyr69

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Rob Spanton

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THE FOX ON THE FAIRWAY

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
9/12/2014 to 11/2/2014

DQYDJ Ep 215: We're Back, Bitches!

Tue, 30 Sep 2014 03:47:40 +0000

Welcome to episode 215 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where we have returned from our summer hiatus (that's our story and we're sticking to it).

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THE FOX ON THE FAIRWAY

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
9/12/2014 to 11/2/2014

DQYDJ Ep 214: It's Vera!

Fri, 26 Sep 2014 02:30:31 +0000

Welcome to episode 214 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry is once again traveling the world so Melanie, Patrick, and Nathan welcome Auntie Vera Charles to the show as our special guest. Yes, it's a particularly hilarious actorcast! And yes, it was a particularly busy summer but we're back, bitches!

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THE FOX ON THE FAIRWAY

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
9/12/2014 to 11/2/2014

DQYDJ Ep 213: Writing In My Judgement Notebook

Mon, 23 Jun 2014 06:43:05 +0000

Welcome to episode 213 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where The Talent is off at tech week rehearsal, so Melanie, Jerry and special guest host Nathan welcome Peter "Epilonious" White to the show as a guest host, and the delightful Karl Marks as our writing/editing/performing/jump rope artist guest (with a heartwarming story about a very special jumprope trick). Special guest Colby Keller also joins us to play a round of Queer Mad Libs and answer questions about his dream job! Buckle up, folks -- this is going to be a long one. The length, I meant. Of the podcast. Oh, never mind...

Topics from the show
Karl's book We're Here, We're Queer, We're Mad Libs!
Colby's Indiegogo campaign Big Shoe Adventure 1: Colby Does America...And Canada Too!
How to get a walk-on role in the Olympic Cove series by Nicola Cameron
Karl Marxxx (@IAmKarlMarxxx on Twitter)
Colby Keller (@ColbyKeller on Twitter)
Executive Assistant: Manlove Edition

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YOU'RE A GOOD MAN, CHARLIE BROWN

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
6/19/2014 to 7/27/2014

DQYDJ Ep 212: We're All Busy Lesbians

Mon, 23 Jun 2014 02:53:53 +0000

Welcome to episode 212 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie turns into a cleaning wizard, Jerry has a drama-filled day, and Patrick a good man, Charlie Brown!

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YOU'RE A GOOD MAN, CHARLIE BROWN

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
6/19/2014 to 7/27/2014

DQYDJ Ep 211: Good Morning Baltimore!

Tue, 15 Apr 2014 05:21:02 +0000

Welcome to episode 211 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick gets a killer new joke, Melanie has had more alcohol over the weekend than she's had in the last year (this is what happens when you go drinking with artists), and Jerry thinks Mother Nature is a filthy hoor. Credit for the karaoke version of "My Freeze Ray" From Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog goes to Graham Arthur Blair.

Topics from the show
MICA Graduate Spring Exhibitions
Karl Marxxx (@IAmKarlMarxxx on Twitter)

We have email:
Tracey

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ANOTHER ROUND OF BEER FOR BREAKFAST

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
3/6/2014 to 4/19/2014

DQYDJ Ep 210: I Look Like Liza Minnelli Just Out Of Rehab

Wed, 02 Apr 2014 01:09:36 +0000

Welcome to episode 210 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry is off with the girlfriend, Patrick talks about tasteful crossdressing in the world premiere of Another Round of Beer For Breakfast, and Melanie admits that she'll be having dinner with Colby Keller in April -- sorry, Taylor!

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ANOTHER ROUND OF BEER FOR BREAKFAST

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
3/6/2014 to 4/19/2014

DQYDJ Ep 209: Patrick Has A Code Id His Dose

Wed, 19 Mar 2014 03:03:24 +0000

Welcome to episode 209 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick is out sick with a head cold, so you know what that means. IT'S A WRITERCAST! Bye, Auntie Vera and Satyr! Melanie talks about her latest successful smutfest, and Jerry salutes his late father (who really WAS the Most Interesting Man In the World) with sake and stories.

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ANOTHER ROUND OF BEER FOR BREAKFAST

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
3/6/2014 to 4/19/2014

DQYDJ Ep 208: Jerry Found His Fruitcake

Fri, 14 Mar 2014 01:22:13 +0000

Welcome to episode 208 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" No, we're not dead. No, we haven't podfaded. Yes, we've all been hideously busy, sorry about that. And yes, this episode is partially unedited, but Melanie does not have the pain tolerance or hydrocodone necessary to spend three hours in her office chair cutting out all the spaces right now, so here you go.

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ANOTHER ROUND OF BEER FOR BREAKFAST

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
3/6/2014 to 4/19/2014

DQYDJ Ep 207: Break It Up With Blowjobs

Tue, 31 Dec 2013 05:44:31 +0000

Welcome to episode 207 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where for a $500 donation to Patrick and Nathan's wedding fund you can motorboat the officiant, Jerry has some kickass beer and a nice water bottle but no absinthe fruitcake yet, Patrick is trying to talk Nathan into a LOTR marathon, and Nathan admits to a very impressive accoutrement. This is gonna be a long one, folks (and no, I'm not talking about Nathan's accoutrement).

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Ashley
Wendi

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DECK THE HALLS!

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
11/14/2013 to 12/31/2013

DQYDJ Special Ep 6: Merry Effin' Christmas, Everybody!

Tue, 24 Dec 2013 18:37:00 +0000

Welcome to special episode 6 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick and Melanie commiserate about baking, fighting crowds at Kroger, and, oh, yeah, wish you all a happy holiday. And as a special treat, we're including Patrick's rendition of "Let's Do It At the North Pole!" Let the festive drinking commence!

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DECK THE HALLS!

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
11/14/2013 to 12/31/2013

Videocast 11: Holiday Baking With Booze

Mon, 23 Dec 2013 10:16:55 +0000

Welcome to Videocast 11 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie decides to take a crack at making a light French fruitcake using -- what else -- absinthe. This is all Jerry's fault.

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DQYDJ Ep 206: Whacking It With Mickey (50 Shades Of Daisy)

Mon, 23 Dec 2013 07:32:58 +0000

Welcome to episode 206 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick finds his favorite English teacher, Melanie hates her cohosts so hard (but adores Disney Cruise Lines -- hi Tim, Cheryl, Emily, and Art!), Jerry talks about the gentrification of Mexico City, and Stacy reveals that a tornado does indeed sound like a freight train!

We have email:
Paul in Alaska

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Steve Parker
Scott AKA Satyr69
Richard in Dallas
Epilonius
Chris in Brussels

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DECK THE HALLS!

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
11/14/2013 to 12/31/2013

DQYDJ Ep 205: So, Nevermore Has This Kickstarter Campaign...

Sat, 26 Oct 2013 02:29:30 +0000

Welcome to episode 205 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry is brain-dead from working for the Man, Patrick wonders if the NSA is subscribed to DQYDJ, and Melanie pimps Nevermore: The Movie because she really, really, really wants this on DVD, okay?

Topics from the show
Nevermore: The Movie Kickstarter Campaign

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Luke Miller

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HARVEY

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
10/3/13 to 11/10/13

DQYDJ Ep 204: Don't Touch The Poopie!

Fri, 25 Oct 2013 19:42:14 +0000

Welcome to episode 204 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie has found a wonderful new bathroom product, Jerry and Patrick talk iPhones (again), and Nathan is his usual wonderful self.

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HARVEY

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
10/3/13 to 11/10/13

DQYDJ Ep 203: 2014 -- A Good Year For Sin

Fri, 27 Sep 2013 00:11:59 +0000

Welcome to episode 203 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where we have the wonderful Tiffany Reisz back on the show with Melanie and Jerry! Tiffany talks about The Mistress and the upcoming White Years books in the Original Sinners series, why 2014 is a good year for sin, and how she may be moving to Brooklyn because it's safer than her current neighborhood.

Topics from the show
Tiffany's Website
The Mistress on Amazon

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GREATER TUNA

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
8/29/13 to 9/29/13

DQYDJ Ep 202: This One's A Little Crackly

Fri, 20 Sep 2013 02:34:00 +0000

Welcome to episode 201 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick is off doing, I dunno, something, so it's a writercast with Melanie and Jerry. And let us apologize in advance -- the crackliness is all Melanie.

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GREATER TUNA

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
8/29/13 to 9/29/13

DQYDJ Ep 201: You'll Have To Blow It Up Your Butt

Wed, 07 Aug 2013 03:58:01 +0000

Welcome to episode 201 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie is behind on her writing but knows ALL about Pacific Rim, Patrick is pulling a loaf out, and Jerry is looking forward to editing not one but two novels.

Topics from the show
Yard Dog Press
Belaurient Arts on Etsy

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GREATER TUNA

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
8/29/13 to 9/29/13

DQYDJ Ep 200: We've Been Doing This For HOW Long?

Sat, 03 Aug 2013 05:31:49 +0000

Welcome to episode 200 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry is finally back in the country (but his jacket isn't), Melanie doesn't remember much of June, and Patrick is on and off (and not in the fun way).

We have voicemail:
Auntie Vera Charles and Conscience
Pod Is My Copilot
Drum Major Kev
Scott the Satyr
Brother Cinaedus
Rob
Terminally Single Tim

We have email:
Tracy

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GREATER TUNA

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
8/29/13 to 9/29/13

DQYDJ Ep 199: Chlamydia Gives You Wings!

Fri, 02 Aug 2013 09:11:06 +0000

Welcome to episode 199 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie has a virus, Jerry wises he had Sailor Jerry Spiced Rum with the hula girl on the label, and Patrick is shoo-bopping his butt off.

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LIFE COULD BE A DREAM

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
6/6/13 to 7/14/13

DQYDJ Ep 198: Welcome To This Week In Osteoporosis

Wed, 19 Jun 2013 04:18:56 +0000

Welcome to episode 198 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick babbles on about cookware, Melanie is trying to release her novel, Jerry searches for a rubber band spice rack, and Nathan is a giver.

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Drum Major Kev

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LIFE COULD BE A DREAM

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
6/6/13 to 7/14/13

DQYDJ Ep 197: Avian Crap Obstacle Course

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 21:24:56 +0000

Welcome to episode 197 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick is too pooped to podcast, Jerry is on the downhill slope of his novel, and Melanie is doing battle with Triffids and editorial change requests.

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OUT OF ORDER

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
4/18/13 to 6/2/13

DQYDJ Ep 196: Spontaneous Penis (Or: Harry Potter Likes Hairy Hoo-Hoo)

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 02:59:49 +0000

Welcome to episode 196 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry is being damned productive, Patrick and Nathan spend Easter calling out God's name, and Melanie talks about long labia.

We have email:
Tracy

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OUT OF ORDER

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
4/18/13 to 6/2/13

DQYDJ Ep 195: ActorCast! (Or: It Was Better Than CATS!)

Sun, 24 Mar 2013 08:48:14 +0000

Welcome to episode 195 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry is on the road again, so we're having an ActorCast! Patrick would like to welcome special guests Auntie Vera Charles and Scott the Satyr, and the three of them will be talking about all things involved in the art and craft of acting. Meanwhile, Melanie will be planning her PR campaign for Storm Season and getting rid of any unnecessary farts.

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UNNECESSARY FARCE

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
2/28/13 to 4/14/13

DQYDJ Ep 194: 50 Shades of Twilight

Sun, 03 Mar 2013 02:33:28 +0000

Welcome to episode 194 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick is at rehearsal, Melanie has to write a superheroine treatment for Melissa McCarthy, Jerry talks about the meteor in Russia, and our special guest Taylor the Latte Boy admits that he equates the taste of sake with someone peeing in his mouth.

Secrets of the Industry

Using Scrivener for writing and e-publishing

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UNNECESSARY FARCE

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
2/28/13 to 4/14/13

DQYDJ Ep 193: Yes, I AM Florence Fucking Nightingale

Thu, 14 Feb 2013 04:57:46 +0000

Welcome to episode 193 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry can't be with us because he has to be on the road at Oh Dark Thirty, Patrick is wearing a nurse's outfit complete with white seamed stockings, Melanie has a release date, and Stacy thinks that Johnny Depp would make a great Pope (and if not him, how about Poprah?).

Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
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BEER FOR BREAKFAST

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
1/10/13 to 2/24/13

DQYDJ Ep 192: We're Back!

Wed, 13 Feb 2013 08:11:14 +0000

Welcome to episode 192 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie may be guilty of manslaughter by erotic inspiration, Jerry has a nose flute and a virus (but NOT the flu), and Nathan is trying to kill Patrick with exercise.

Topics from the show
Jerry's article on how to be a novelist

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BEER FOR BREAKFAST

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
1/10/13 to 2/24/13

DQYDJ Ep 191: It's A Mayan Apocalypse, Charlie Brown!

Tue, 25 Dec 2012 05:02:05 +0000

Welcome to episode 191 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick's new show has a little bite to it, Melanie doesn't want to pad, and Jerry has a wee contretemps with Brendan Frasier. Merry Christmahanukkwanzamayanapocalypse, y'all!

Topics from the show
Melanie's Etsy store
Amazon Prime users can read Jerry's books for free!

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HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
11/15/12 to 12/31/12

DQYDJ Ep 190: Every Mother-In-Law Needs Gay Porn (Or: Narc On The Shelf)

Sun, 23 Dec 2012 06:15:53 +0000

Welcome to episode 190 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry is off for the night, Patrick is playing with his plugs, Stacy is being a helpful little elf, and Melanie is getting fed up to the back teeth with both of them.

Topics from the show

Vanilla-Free Christmas: Manlove Edition ( Amazon | Evernight Publishing )

The winner of our DQYDJ Raffle -- Drum Major Kev!

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HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
11/15/12 to 12/31/12

EP 189: I Will Not Be A Douche Canoe

Sun, 16 Dec 2012 18:20:59 +0000

Welcome to episode 189 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick is quiet, Jerry is entertaining bigwigs, and Melanie is interviewing bestselling author Tiffany Reisz and asking about her newest book The Prince.

Topics from the show
The Prince ( Amazon | Barnes & Noble )

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HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
11/15/12 to 12/31/12

EP 188: There Are Only So Many Times You Can Spitroast A Guy

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 23:20:00 +0000

Welcome to episode 188 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry may have caused problems for the Twitter Building, Patrick is baking, God help us all, and Melanie is knee-deep in NaNoWriMo and producing quality MMM menage smut.

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MOVE OVER, MRS. MARKHAM

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
9/27/12 to 11/11/12

EP 187: There's A Dick In My Tea

Tue, 06 Nov 2012 04:18:29 +0000

Welcome to episode 187 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry and Patrick are unavailable, so a fresh back from Old Blighty Melanie drags Stacy on the show so that she can talk about Bath Buns, Tintagel and Mark Gatiss with someone, not realizing that she left her digital mixer on so that she sounds like she's talking through a tin can. Whee...

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MOVE OVER, MRS. MARKHAM

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
9/27/12 to 11/11/12

EP 186: This One Is Kinda Rushed

Wed, 10 Oct 2012 18:05:38 +0000

Welcome to episode 186 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry had to school Amazon.com on customer service, Patrick is Zen, and Melanie...is not. We also have five emails, but I don't have time to list everyone individually so thank you Dani, Delilah, Shelba, Kevin and Mike P!

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MOVE OVER, MRS. MARKHAM

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
9/27/12 to 11/11/12

EP 185: Here Comes Tiffany Reisz!

Wed, 26 Sep 2012 02:52:00 +0000

Welcome to episode 185 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick's off at tech rehearsal so it's a writercast! And what a writercast it is -- Melanie and Jerry welcome Tiffany Reisz, author of The Siren and The Angel, to the show. If that wasn't good enough, religion, writing and BDSM are discussed, and Melanie declares herself as Team Søren all the way.

Topics from the show
The Siren ( Amazon | Barnes & Noble )
The Angel ( Amazon | Barnes & Noble )
Nora's Dungeon on Tumblr

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Send us voicemail: 972-696-9485

MOVE OVER, MRS. MARKHAM

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
9/27/12 to 11/11/12

EP 184: Pride48 2012 Live! (Or: Amateur Proctologist)

Tue, 25 Sep 2012 17:54:15 +0000

Welcome to episode 184 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where we're all here and live (sort of) podcasting in celebration of Pride48! As usual, the discussion goes all over the place -- pray for us now.

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MOVE OVER, MRS. MARKHAM

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
9/27/12 to 11/11/12

EP 183: There's Art To Our Filth

Fri, 14 Sep 2012 22:37:00 +0000

Welcome to episode 183 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry is writing 70's era smut, Melanie is signing erotic romance publishing contracts, and Patrick the Sex God manages to break the couch.

Topics from the show
Amanda Palmer and the Grand Theft Orchestra's Theater Is Evil

We have voicemail:
Scott the Satyr
Drusilla Bloeme
David That Blue Jeans Guy

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AN EVENING WITH PATSY CLINE

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
8/23/12 to 9/23/12

EP 182: Don't Breathe Stale Air

Wed, 12 Sep 2012 00:24:24 +0000

Welcome to episode 182 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick is out due to rehearsal, so it's a WRITERCAST! Jerry is enjoying the Adobe Creative Cloud, Melanie is a writing fool, and they discuss the classics and why some of them suck, the importance of reading outside your genre, and the existence of Romney/Ryan slashfic.

Topics from the show
Yard Dog Press

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AN EVENING WITH PATSY CLINE

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
8/23/12 to 9/23/12

EP 181: This Is An Ex-Dildo

Sun, 02 Sep 2012 18:05:05 +0000

Welcome to episode 181 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie is cycloning badly, Patrick pitches in with the MIL, and Jerry fights the Man in the form of his apartment complex owners.

Topics from the show
BCAAs (branched chain amino acids)
Feeldoes
Tiffany Reisz, author of The Siren

We have voicemail!
Rick in Denton
Epilonius

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AN EVENING WITH PATSY CLINE

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
8/23/12 to 9/23/12

EP 180: Do Blowjobs Make Your Butt Pucker?

Mon, 27 Aug 2012 10:11:18 +0000

Welcome to episode 180 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry is back from Detroit and not happy about incorrect safety gear, Melanie is wrestling with her mic, and Patrick pimps out some podcast domains.

We have email!
Jimmy Farmer

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AN EVENING WITH PATSY CLINE

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
8/23/12 to 9/23/12

EP 179: Poker Is More Important Than Podcasting

Mon, 20 Aug 2012 01:12:15 +0000

Welcome to episode 179 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick has abandoned us to go watch poker, Jerry is podcasting from his balcony, Melanie did NOT get what she wanted for her birthday, and we're joined by our very special guest Nathan.

We have email!
Mike Perry

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FUNNY BUSINESS

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
7/5/12 to 8/19/12

EP 178: I Dry My Clothes With Fission

Sun, 12 Aug 2012 09:41:19 +0000

Welcome to episode 178 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry is dubious about advice from an established author, Melanie muses over self-publishing and looks up Nigel Bennett's name, and Patrick is absent tonight so it's a WRITERCAST!

Links from the show:
Book Promotion.com

We have voicemail!
Ramble Redhead
Scott AKA Satyr69

We have email!
Rick in Denton

Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
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FUNNY BUSINESS

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
7/5/12 to 8/19/12

EP 177: Porned Up, Horned Up, And Corned Up

Wed, 25 Jul 2012 03:26:06 +0000

Welcome to episode 177 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick giggles his way through the intro thanks to Nathan, Jerry declares a fatwa on Dodge, and Melanie writes porn and makes a plea for money.

Links from the show:
Tymber Dalton, erotic romance writer extraordinaire.

Stop the whining -- send Melanie to Worldcon!

Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
Send us voicemail: 972-696-9485

FUNNY BUSINESS

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
7/5/12 to 8/19/12

EP 176: Frankencock (Or: Don't Pee On An Electric Fence)

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 00:07:00 +0000

Welcome to episode 176 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie explains our recent absence from the airwaves, Patrick is leery of Horizon, and Jerry regales us with a tale of youthful micturation gone wrong.

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FUNNY BUSINESS

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
7/5/12 to 8/19/12

EP 175: There Are No Podcasts In Heaven

Sun, 24 Jun 2012 22:56:35 +0000

Welcome to episode 175 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry is down on the farm, Melanie has the Mexican plague (but at least her breasts are healing), and Patrick mourns the missed Gay Days. We would also like to congratulate Rodan and Gambit on their engagement and Walt and Ken on their marriage, and our hearts go out to Lord Byron's family for their loss.

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NUNSENSE AMEN

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
5/4/12 to 7/1/12

EP 174: The Six Month Anniversary Is Lube

Sun, 24 Jun 2012 04:58:59 +0000

Welcome to episode 174 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick and He Of the Sensitive Nipples celebrate their 6th month anniversary by actually taking receipt of their damn furniture, Jerry is Not Happy (TM) with AT&T and his MiFi, and Melanie shall forever be known as La Granda Blanca Pelliroja Mapache.

Proof that Melanie and Stacy visited Chichen Itza. They got tossed out later on for looting, but still...

We have voicemail!
Terminally Single Tim

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NUNSENSE AMEN

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
5/4/12 to 7/1/12

EP 173: Tangents 'R' Us

Wed, 30 May 2012 01:17:22 +0000

Welcome to episode 173 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry bounces excitedly on his ball while talking about his latest novel project, Patrick has the night off, and Melanie is hip deep in smut.

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NUNSENSE AMEN

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
5/4/12 to 7/1/12

EP 172: Nathan's Sensitive Nipples

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 23:24:18 +0000

Welcome to episode 172 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie has been writing like a maniac, Jerry is off for the night, Patrick aches all over from moving into his new townhouse, and our special guest Nathan has sensitive nipples, and if you leave us a review on iTunes you can see them!

We have email!

Jeremy

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SEE HOW THEY RUN

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
4/12/12 to 5/20/12

EP 171: DrainCam

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 06:22:16 +0000

Welcome to episode 171 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry is back from Helsinki and talks about mineshafts and Raging Black Bitch Beer, Melanie deals with raw sewage in her shower and learns what her drains look like from the inside, and our special guest Drake Rock gives us a movie review for Cabin in the Woods and Mirror Mirror.

We have email!

Jeremy
Rick

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SEE HOW THEY RUN

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
4/12/12 to 5/20/12

EP 170: Hobbit Daddy

Tue, 17 Apr 2012 03:34:52 +0000

Welcome to episode 170 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie unpacks her craft room, Jerry talks about word processor choices and Helsinki, and Patrick is late.

We have email!

Tracy S. Morris

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SEE HOW THEY RUN

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
4/12/12 to 5/20/12

EP 169: Jerry Davis, Sex God

Fri, 23 Mar 2012 07:47:35 +0000

Welcome to episode 169 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick is feathering his nest, Melanie is cleaning hers when she's not making SUPERNATURAL plushies, and Jerry broke his bed during a romp, hence the episode title.

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THE FOREIGNER

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
3/1/12 to 4/7/12

EP 168: And We Have A Winner!

Wed, 07 Mar 2012 15:34:07 +0000

Welcome to episode 168 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry is insanely busy and thoroughly enjoying Pinterest, Patrick is off due to the flu and opening weekend, Melanie is having fun dreams, and we welcome our special guest host Scott AKA Satyr69. We also announce the winner of the 2012 Valentine's Day Porn Contest!

We have voicemail!
Scott

We have email!
Avery
Jimmy Farmer

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THE FOREIGNER

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
3/1/12 to 4/7/12

EP 167: Everybody Loves Nathan

Sun, 04 Mar 2012 23:27:39 +0000

Welcome to episode 167 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie got commissioned to write a story, Jerry is now on Pinterest and Instagram, and Patrick had a very, VERY good Valentine's Day (brown chicken brown cow).

We have voicemail!
Scott

We have email!
Brian J
Neil

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THE FOREIGNER

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
3/1/12 to 4/7/12

EP 166: Gryphon Jism

Mon, 27 Feb 2012 07:30:02 +0000

Welcome to episode 166 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick is moving in with his boyfriend, if only to save money at the boat, Melanie is working overtime on the Etsy store, and Jerry has sent off a Valentine's Day card to a mystery friend.

We have voicemail!
Ramble Redhead

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COME BLOW YOUR HORN

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
1/12/12 to 2/26/12

EP 165: Where's Pat?

Wed, 15 Feb 2012 03:16:26 +0000

Welcome to episode 165 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry is so over print books, Patrick is God knows where, and Melanie sets a record in fleeing the Death Star.

We have email!
Kev H

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COME BLOW YOUR HORN

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
1/12/12 to 2/26/12

EP 164: One Night Only

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 06:22:42 +0000

Welcome to episode 164 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie really, really needs a margarita, Jerry has to work late and can't join us, and Patrick tries to hurry the podcast along because he has (yes, you guessed it) a date. We also welcome our very special guest Drake Rock.

We have email!
Margie
Ken in Toronto
Joe

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COME BLOW YOUR HORN

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
1/12/12 to 2/26/12

EP 163: First Rule Of Moffat Fandom -- Moffat Lies

Tue, 17 Jan 2012 01:50:09 +0000

Welcome to episode 163 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick is finally caught up on SHERLOCK and a bit dubious about their Moriarty, Melanie is back on the Neverending DIY Project, and Jerry turns Peter Pan into a terrorist manifesto.

We have email!
Avery

WINNER OF THE AYFKM CONTEST
David That Blue Jeans Guy

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COME BLOW YOUR HORN

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
1/12/12 to 2/26/12

EP 162: Edith Bunker Almost Ruined My Sex Life

Sun, 15 Jan 2012 20:27:38 +0000

Welcome to episode 162 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry is reveling in his new Apple TV, Patrick is exhausted from a weekend of birthday romping, and Melanie is knitting a Doctor Watson scarf for her Etsy store and grooving on all things Holmes.

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EP 161: I Have A Boyfriend!

Fri, 06 Jan 2012 01:26:11 +0000

Welcome to episode 161 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie is now an e-book author, Jerry is single (it's complicated) and explains the ins and outs of publishing via iBooks, and Patrick has a boyfriend, as he mentions throughout the entire bloody show.

We have voicemail!

Princess Honah
Scott
Nathan

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EP 160: This Just Screams Christmas -- An Angry Black Man Playing A Hobbit

Fri, 23 Dec 2011 13:26:00 +0000

Welcome to episode 160 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick floats the concept of Samuel L. Jackson as Bilbo Baggins, Melanie has a whole bunch of plushies to make, apparently, Jerry fights back strep and rejoins the TV generation, and Stacy goes into a comic book store (no, really). We also welcome our special guest and Christmas showgirl, Nessa!

We have voicemail!

Princess Honah
Taylor the Latte Boy
David That Blue Jeans Guy
Terminally Single Tim

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IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
11/10/11 to 12/31/11

EP 159: It's Sherlock Frickin' Holmes

Wed, 14 Dec 2011 06:56:52 +0000

Welcome to episode 159 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry is off having dinner with his daughter, Patrick reveals Tall Boy's secret identity, and Melanie goes off on a rant. Again...

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IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
11/10/11 to 12/31/11

EP 158: Getting Jiggy With Grandpa

Tue, 06 Dec 2011 05:14:25 +0000

Welcome to episode 158 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie may have reached cat detente -- oops, spoke too soon, Jerry is too pooped to pod, and Patrick is dating (and has an AYFKM story).

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IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
11/10/11 to 12/31/11

EP 157: Thank You For Stuffing Jerry With Hot Juicy Meat

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 08:38:01 +0000

Welcome to episode 157 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick gets a call from his arch-nemesis, Melanie is not a well clown, and Jerry enjoys a meat-heavy Thanksgiving.

We have voicemail!

Scott the Satyr

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IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
11/10/11 to 12/31/11

EP 156: Damn You, NaNoWriMo!

Thu, 01 Dec 2011 07:52:40 +0000

Welcome to episode 156 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick is on enforced silence, so Melanie and Jerry take over the podcast with the help of special guest Tracy S. Morris and proceed to talk about writing, editing, NaNoWriMo, and the perils of Black Friday. Mwahahahahahahaha!

Yard Dog Press Podcast

We have email!

Ken in Toronto

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IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
11/10/11 to 12/31/11

EP 155: Take The Skin Horse To Tuna Town

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 05:57:09 +0000

Welcome to episode 155 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry is not pleased with hard drive prices, Patrick wants to know why he's not in Taffy's contacts, and Melanie is #1 in the hearts of her listeners no matter what any podcast awards show says. We also have our second contestant for "Are You Fucking Kidding Me?" and the chance to win a WingStand.

We have voicemail!

Ramble Redhead
Terminally Single Tim

We have email!

Tracy Morris

Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
Send us voicemail: 206-338-3070

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
11/10/11 to 12/31/11

EP 154: It's NaNoWriMo All Over Again

Mon, 14 Nov 2011 16:25:28 +0000

Welcome to episode 154 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie is not having a good week, Jerry is working on a new novel and explains his writing methods, and Patrick is off at tech rehearsal. We also have our first contestant for "Are You Fucking Kidding Me?" and the chance to win a WingStand.

We have voicemail!
David That Blue Jeans Guy

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Ken in Toronto

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IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
11/10/11 to 12/31/11

EP 153: I Don't Care If He Was A Lousy Human Being

Fri, 28 Oct 2011 07:22:25 +0000

Welcome to episode 153 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where we launch a new segment/contest in time for the holidays, Melanie goes to listen to the Yarn Harlot, Jerry is deep in Moving Hell, and Patrick is reading Steve Jobs's biography and saying, "I don't care if he was a lousy human being, as long as he gave me the shiny."

WingStand

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Send us voicemail: 206-338-3070

EXIT THE BODY

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
9/22/11 to 11/6/11

EP 152: Public Humiliation Is The Key

Tue, 25 Oct 2011 22:53:07 +0000

Welcome to episode 152 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick is under the weather but records anyway, Stacy is pretty much out of the podcast for the foreseeable future, and Melanie and Jerry debate the new Amazon printing paradigm. Also, Melanie opens herself up for public humiliation -- her novel will be edited by 10/31/11 -- or else.

Belaurient Arts on Etsy
How to Be A Woman by Caitlin Moran

We have voicemail! Princess Honah
Ramble Redhead

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EXIT THE BODY

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
9/22/11 to 11/6/11

EP 151: You've Been Called By The Gaik Legacy

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 00:04:12 +0000

Welcome to episode 151 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry is gleeful about getting a new iPhone, Patrick feels that Nancy Grace has pepperoni nipples, Stacy is not having an easy time with her kids, and Melanie is the worst cat mommy in the world.

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Terminally Single Tim

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EXIT THE BODY

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
9/22/11 to 11/6/11

EP 150: My Little Plushie

Wed, 28 Sep 2011 23:54:17 +0000

Welcome to episode 150 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie is not pleased with a certain pet hospital, Jerry reminisces about Doctor Ruth, Patrick experiences a loss, and Stacy is still hacking up a lung but promises to be back next time.

Featured song: What's Happened To Soho? by The Correspondents

Featured GLBT-Friendly YA books and authors:

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The Little Aussie Battler

We have email!

Divy

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Send us voicemail: 206-338-3070

EXIT THE BODY

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
9/22/11 to 11/6/11

EP 149: Taint Girl

Sat, 17 Sep 2011 02:47:36 +0000

Welcome to episode 149 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Stacy has pneumonia, Melanie gets a little activist-y, Jerry unleashes Arachnophobia II on the Chicagoland area, and Patrick talks about his little role popping in and out (of the latest production).

Featured links: Authors Say Agents Try to “Straighten” Gay Characters in YA.

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Ramble Redhead

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LOOK, NO HANS

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
7/28/11 though 9/18/11

Videocast 10: Mr. Theatre!

Tue, 06 Sep 2011 06:34:00 +0000

Welcome to Videocast 10 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick shows off his pipes with Mary Simon in a scene from the Barn II's beloved melodrama "Love Rides The Rails: or, Will The Mail Train Run Tonight?"

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Call us on our listener line: 206-338-3070

EP 148: Mickey Mouse On Crack

Tue, 06 Sep 2011 01:29:42 +0000

Welcome to episode 148 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick realizes you can put porn on the iPad, Stacy is incommunicado at the lake house, Melanie celebrates an anniversary, and Jerry saves the day by playing our voicemails when Time Warner Cable experiences Issues(TM).

Featured song: Washington Square by The Correspondents

We have voicemail!

Taylor
David
Scott

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Send us voicemail: 206-338-3070

LOOK, NO HANS

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
7/28/11 though 9/18/11

Videocast 09: Return To The Vet

Thu, 01 Sep 2011 01:04:06 +0000

Welcome to Videocast 09 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie hauls the fourth of the Fletcher Felines into the vet for his badly overdue vaccinations and checkup. Needless to say, the haulee isn't pleased at all.

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Call us on our listener line: 206-338-3070

EP 147: Holy Spooge, Batman!

Tue, 30 Aug 2011 07:20:55 +0000

Welcome to episode 147 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry explains his fourth novel and enthuses about Kindlegraph.com, Patrick is off with a sick headache, Stacy is teenager wrangling, and Melanie is back from Armadillocon with a tale about rampant cocks. And as promised on Episode 146, those of you with the DQYDJ iPhone app will receive Melanie's Greek mythology short story as an extra.

Featured song: More Kissing In Porn Please, We're British by Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer

We have email!
Margie

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Send us voicemail: 206-338-3070

LOOK, NO HANS

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
7/28/11 though 9/18/11

EP 146: Be Responsible -- Pay For Your Porn

Wed, 24 Aug 2011 01:55:00 +0000

Welcome to episode 146 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie does not need a porn intervention, thank you very much, Jerry is running into problems with energy drinks, Patrick is rehearsing his tushie off while listening to opera, and Stacy is at death's door. We also present the DQYDJ Jukebox with our selected tracks:

Gumby Goes Green by Blue Wave Theory
Straight Out of Surrey by Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer
La Cenerentola - Non più mesta by Gioachino Rossini, sung by Cecilia Bartoli

Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
Send us voicemail: 206-338-3070

LOOK, NO HANS

CONKLIN'S BARN II
DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
7/28/11 though 9/18/11

EP 145: They're All Brown, It's Fine

Mon, 22 Aug 2011 20:51:00 +0000

Welcome to episode 145 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Stacy is planning an intervention (which will apparently involve kegs and beer in pop cans), Melanie wants to see Rick Perry and Michelle Bachmann's birth certificates, Jerry is having too much fun with his new soundboard, and Patrick ate 40 pounds of Chinese food because he had a coupon.

Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
Send us voicemail: 206-338-3070

LOOK, NO HANS

CONKLIN'S BARN II DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
7/28/11 though 9/18/11

EP 144: She's In The F#*%ing Attic!

Sun, 14 Aug 2011 21:35:24 +0000

Welcome to episode 144 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Patrick is delighted to be overseeing an actorcast, Stacy is...somewhere, Melanie has decided to give up editing and is releasing this as is, and Jerry is off playing pool with Obama. We also welcome our very special guests Auntie Vera and Satyr69.

Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
Send us voicemail: 206-338-3070

LOOK, NO HANS

CONKLIN'S BARN II DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
7/28/11 though 9/18/11

EP 143: Randy Gitt, At Your Cervix

Fri, 05 Aug 2011 02:22:34 +0000

Welcome to episode 143 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Jerry explains his connection to Stockton, CA and talks about his upcoming trip to the nation's capital, Patrick is a high-energy ray of sunshine who needs a deep tissue massage, Stacy is back from Florida and too pooped to podcast, and Melanie is causing problems for innocent pornographers.

We have voicemail!

Satry69
The Little Aussie Battler

We have email!

Anthony

Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
Send us voicemail: 206-338-3070

LOOK, NO HANS

CONKLIN'S BARN II DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
7/28/11 though 9/18/11

EP 142: Mister Id

Tue, 26 Jul 2011 19:22:02 +0000

Welcome to episode 142 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Melanie investigates ichthyokentauroi, Jerry is not happy about a rip-off being perpetrated on e-publishers, Patrick is off at tech rehearsal and Stacy just laughed when we asked her about recording tonight.

Preditors and Editors: Editing Services
The War of Art -- Steven Pressfield

We have email! Delilah

Send us email: dqydjpodcast@gmail.com
Send us voicemail: 206-338-3070

EP 141: Big Mutant Junkie Crickets

Mon, 25 Jul 2011 19:15:07 +0000

Welcome to episode 141 of "Don't Quit Your Day Job: The Podcast!" where Stacy starts Voodoo Talk With Madame Lola, Melanie is researching gay porn, Jerry recommends the Jackrabbit Pearl vibrator, and Patrick reveals his secret parentage. And to prove that Matthew Lewis (Neville Longbottom from the Harry Potter movies) grew up to be a hottie:

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Send us voicemail: 206-338-3070

ENCORES

CONKLIN'S BARN II DINNER THEATRE
P.O. Box 310
Goodfield, IL 61742
(309) 965-2545
6/16/11 though 7/24/11